This moment when everything is lost (Pixiv Fanbox)

「もう駄目だ・・」と思ったのは・・、ELFとして生まれて、これが初めてかもしれない・・。長官となる夢も・・・騎士としてのプライドも・・・家族や友との出会いも・・全てが失われるこの瞬間こそが・・まさにこの時なのだろう・・。しかし同時に・・・「何もかもを捨て去ることができる」という「開放感や背徳感」に満ちた感覚が、私を支配し始めているのも・・どうやら事実の様だ・・・ This may have been the first time since I was born as an ELF that I thought, "It's no use." My dream of becoming a commander... My pride as a knight... My encounters with my family and friends... This moment, when everything will be lost... This must be it. But at the same time... A sense of freedom and a sense of immorality, of being able to "throw everything away," is beginning to take over me... It seems to be true...