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私はここ何年も何も成し遂げていないカスで

あれをやってもダメこれをやってもダメ

この負のループから抜け出すにはどうしたらえんじゃろと色々考えた結果


私は当面の間自分のイラストに差分を作らない事にしました

これが出来ない人はデジタルイラスト界に人権が無いという現実は重々承知の上でそう決めました

ここ数年失敗して投稿に至らなかったイラストの9割が作りたくもない差分への苦悩でした



Photoshopのサブスク料金を払えなくなる近い将来のその日まで

これからは自分のやりたいように思いっきり絵を描く事を楽しんでやろうと思います

2週間も差分絵に正気と時間を消耗する位なら2枚新しいイラストを描いた方が絶対楽しいですって


そんなこんなでプラン料金を100円ずつ値下げしました

PROプラン以降はお気持ちの寄付となってます。


私の絵が永遠に上達しない理由と私が絵で稼げない理由は共通しています

それはファンやオーディエンスとコミュニケーションを取ろうとせず、

あらゆる意味で自分の成果を振り返ろうとしない事です。


もう私はSNS上では何を言っても反応しない人として認知されているので

ここから信用を取り戻すのは難しい事ですが少しづつ努力していきます


これからは自分のイラストに自信が無い時でもコメントなど常にチェックするので

描いて欲しいキャラなどあったら教えてください、参考にします。



fanbox用に描き下ろしたイラストもXとpixivに小さい版を投稿すると思います(限定とは)

お金を払っているのにサイズ違いしか旨みがねーのかよって話ですが

もう自分の絵に制限を設けるって行為自体しんどいので

受け入れられない場合はサブの解除で意思表示をして下さい


その代わりおうおうコイツ賑やかに頑張ってんなーって感じた時は

是非ご支援をお願いします、ペットボトルの水2本分の小銭恵んでください


落書きなどもどんどん投稿して

何なら映画のレビュー記事でも書こうかなとか思ってます(いらんわ)


そんなこんなで最後の悪あがき前のお気持ち表明でした。


=================================================================


I've been a pepega loser for years and haven't accomplished anything. Nothing I do works.

I've been thinking about how to get out of this negative loop.


I have decided not to make alt version to my illustrations for the time being.

I made this decision while fully understanding the reality

that those who cannot do this have no human rights in the digital illustration world.


Over the past few years, 90% of the illustrations I've failed to post have been due to me struggling with variations that I didn't want to make.


Until the day in the near future when I can no longer afford to pay for a Photoshop subscription

From now on, I wanna enjoy drawing as much as I want to.

I would definitely enjoy drawing two new illustrations instead of wasting my time and sanity on the alt version for two weeks.


So I've lowered the plan prices by 100 yen each.

From the PRO plan onwards, donations are based on your feelings.


The reason why my drawing skills will never improve and the reason why I can't make money from drawing are the same

It is I don't try to communicate with my fans and audiences and I don't try to look back on my results in anyway.


I'm already known on social media as someone who doesn't respond to anything I say,

so it will be difficult to regain trust from here, but I'll try my best little by little.


From now on, even when I'm not confident in my illustrations, I'll always check the comments,

so if there are any characters you want me to draw, please let me know and I'll take them into consideration.


I will also be posting smaller versions of the illustrations I drew for fanbox on X and pixiv.(HUH)

Only benefit is the different sizes? wtf!

I know but The act of placing restrictions on my own art is already tiring,

so if you can't accept it, please express your intention by canceling the sub.


Instead, if you feel "wao this guy is doing a great",

Please support me, give me some coins for two bottles of water.


I'm thinking of posting more and more doodles and maybe even writing movie reviews(jk)


So sorry long mega essey thanks google translate

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Comments

Quiroz895

草葉の陰から応援してる👍

DatGai

You feed me art, I (sort of) feed you back. I'll take anything you give omakase! :P If variations were hard, then definitely, you don't have to put up with it. Although they're pretty, I can feel that it's like a demon from your past. It feels like it's been a while since I've seen you render a piece with background, I would love to see another one (the Kanna poster is still a favorite I like to look at occasionally). I don't really care for who since you have have good taste for waifus anyways. Ganbare, Ataru. I miss hanging out and chatting random stuff, but I'll definitely read your movie reviews if you write them up too!

thor

i love your art, your coloring and style is sooo inspiring! i wanna be as good as you! Ataruman senpai! please keep up the work and keep doing your best -cheerleadering-

Jakim

Ata, every one of your arts is a masterpiece in my eyes; I really like your style of drawing and follow you for few years, when I found you streaming on Twitch. Every time there is notification from Fanbox, it's like small Christmas. Good job and enjoy drawing.

Illyasviel🤍

I just discovered you but I like your artstyle. I would love to see Illyasviel, Laffey from Azur Lane, Hachiroku from Maitetsu or the Shoujo ramune girls in your artstyle if possible 😁 Ganbatte!!!!

LunarLeo

I have been a fan of your work for a long time. You work hard to have such a great understanding of not just anatomy, but also colors. Your style has always been beautiful and vibrant, and it inspires me! I wish I could support you every month, but for now I can only do what I can. Oh, and I’d also like to see more Squid girl from you!

Aisu

Doing what feels best for yourself is the way to go. All the best getting out of that negative space.

atamanman

Thank you so much lot of comments and sorry late late check またお腹痛くなってコメチェック遅れましたがちゃんとみましたありがとうございます