[Insider] The Therapist Ch. 10 (Patreon)

Hey friends! I almost broke my streak, but we made it (at least in the US). I won't bore you with a lot here. I said most of what I wanted to say in the earlier Supporter post.

Hannah and I are wrapping up the next chapter of Window. Hoping to have that here next week. Aside from that. That's all for now. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Nathan stood in the kitchen doorway with a beer he wasn't drinking and watched his work walk across the living room.

Mei crossed the room carrying a platter of bruschetta, catching his gaze as she passed the kitchen island. She smiled at him and he tipped his beer toward her in response. A month ago she wouldn't have held eye contact with him for more than a second. Now she was the one initiating it. She was wearing a fitted black top with a neckline that cut straight across her collarbones, shoulders fully exposed. The skirt sat just above her knees, and when she bent to set the platter on the coffee table the fabric pulled tight across her ass. He took a drink of his beer and let his eyes stay. Was she wearing a thong?

The difference between her and Grace was staggering.

With Grace, she'd attached to him by session three. Every session after that was her actively trying to seduce him. By the fifth she'd worn a short skirt with nothing underneath, her legs open for the full hour, a playful smirk on her lips when Nathan noticed. They were sleeping together by session six. But the conditioning had only ever pointed in one direction. Grace bloomed for Nathan and no one else. Outside the office she was still largely caged, still anxious, still biting her nails in the parking lot before she came in. Her husband noticed some changes, small ones, but they were nothing compared to what she gave Nathan behind a closed door. She was a satellite locked in a single orbit, and everyone could see it. That visibility was what put him in front of a judge.

Mei was the corrected experiment.

He'd made the choice, difficult as it was, to keep his hands off her, and the results couldn't have been more different. After four sessions Mei wasn't just opening up for him. She was opening up for everyone. The clothes, the way she laughed without covering her mouth. The way she'd touched Ethan's waist as she passed him in the kitchen, her fingers dragging across the small of his back. She was wearing confidence the way other women wore perfume. It all just pointed to one thing. Nathan was really good at his job. That was the cover. That was the architecture working the way it was supposed to. To the outside world, Mei Morrison was simply a woman coming out of her shell.

But the cover was only half of it. He hadn't built all of this just so she could find herself. He'd built it so that when she did, the path led back to him. Every boundary she crossed in public made the private ones easier to reach. Every time she held a man's gaze or let someone see skin she would have hidden a month ago, it loosened the architecture a little more, widened the aperture, made the next escalation with Nathan feel like a natural extension of her own growth instead of what it actually was.

Grace had taught him what happened when the patient's entire world shrank to one man. Mei's world was expanding. She was blooming for her husband, more engaged with her coworkers at school. The expansion was deliberate. The more people she let see her, the less suspicious it would be when she let Nathan see more.

And what happened at the end of their last session was only the beginning. He was more sure of that than ever before.

He'd reviewed the office footage twice after she left last night, slowing the playback to quarter speed around the forty-two minute mark. The way she grinded into him was intentional. He'd paused it at the exact moment her eyes went glossy. She didn't stumble, like he'd originally considered. She'd angled her hips backward into him, shifted her weight to increase the pressure against his cock. The movement lasted less than two seconds, but the deliberateness was unmistakable. Her body had sought his. The only question left now was how could he build on it.

Of course, tonight would be a big step in that direction. It was Ethan's birthday. The big night. And if there were any doubt in his mind before that the couple was going to go through with it, that evaporated the second he saw them.

He'd considered slipping upstairs and planting a camera behind one of the picture frames in their bedroom. He wanted to see the real thing, not just hear some watered down version of it later. The thought lasted about as long as it took to dismiss. There were too many guests wandering in and out, too many variables. He'd just have to wait for Ethan's next session. Or, knowing Ethan, tomorrow afternoon when he would almost certainly invite Nathan out for drinks. The man gave up information the way other people made small talk, freely and without realizing what he was handing over.

"Can you believe they called up Garcia?" Ethan had appeared next to him, his gaze tracking Mei as she made small talk with someone in the front of the house.

"I'm not surprised. Their bullpen is a mess." Nathan took a drink of his beer as he watched Ethan fidget with the label.

"I guess, but he's still so green. I don't see him making a difference this year." He glanced at the clock, for what was at least the third time. "Man, can you believe how late it's already getting? I can't believe there's still so many people here."

"Relax." Nathan put his hand on Ethan's back. "Tonight will be fine. You're overthinking it."

"Oh... Yeah. I mean, it's not that. It's just..." Nathan's phone buzzed in his pocket and he tuned Ethan out.

Sierra: _Birthday parties make me horny. Is that weird?

He slid the phone back into his pocket without looking up. "Mei doesn't seem to be stressing too much about this. You shouldn't either. Enjoy the ride." He looked up and saw Sierra sitting on the sofa in the other room, working on a glass of wine. Her lips curled into the smallest smile when she caught Nathan looking.

Mei appeared at Ethan's side with a plate of food. "You need to eat. You've been running around like a maniac since the first guest arrived."

"I ate." He looked Mei over. "You look great tonight, by the way."

A blush colored her cheeks as she looked at Nathan.

His phone buzzed again.

Sierra: I knew that would get your attention. You're such a perv.

He smiled and started to type back a response.

"Looks like you're enjoying whoever that is."

Nathan looked up to see Ethan grinning. "Oh, it's nothing like that," he said, shoving the device back in his pocket as Mei gave him an inquisitive look.

An hour later the party had started to thin. Cake was served and happy birthday was sung. Soft music played over the speakers as Mei stood next to the door saying goodbye to an elderly couple from down the street. She closed the door with a sigh. Only her, Ethan, Nathan, and Sierra remained.

"That was fun." She closed her eyes and let out a breath. "But, hosting sure does take it out of you. I'm beat."

Nathan was pretty sure he saw her eyes cut toward the stairs and his cock began to swell.

"Before I go I wanted to tell you guys something, but you have to promise you won't let it kill the vibe," Sierra said, posting up beside the island.

"What's wrong?" Ethan asked, his eyes narrowing.

"You need to promise first," Sierra said, almost teasing.

"Fine. I promise. Now, out with it."

"He doesn't sound like he means it." She laughed, raising an eyebrow at Mei.

"Just tell him. You know how he gets." Mei stood next to Ethan on the other side of the island. She was close enough now that Nathan could smell her perfume and he had to stifle a groan.

"James and I are getting divorced. The papers are already being drawn up."

"Oh no." Mei brushed past Nathan, reaching out and taking her sister-in-law's hand. "I'm so sorry."

Ethan's mouth fell open. Nathan watched his face as it seemed to be unsure of what emotion it wanted to settle on. First his nose crinkled, then his eyebrows flared. Finally he landed on something that looked more like concern.

"Don't give me that look." Sierra sounded almost annoyed.

"I'm not..." He looked at Mei for support. "You should have told me sooner. Are you okay? What can I do?"

"I'm fine, really." She took a sip of wine. "I could only pretend he wasn't screwing his secretary for so long before I had to address it." She shrugged, then polished off the rest of her glass. "This is good news, honestly. It was a long time coming."

"I'm sorry, Sierra. That's a lot to carry alone."

She looked at him. For a moment, he worried that she was going to give him that playful smirk, or hint that there was something between them that would tip off Mei or Ethan.

"Thanks, Nathan." She carried her glass to the sink. "Now that that's out of the way. Mei, you never said what you got the birthday boy."

He watched her after that. She deflected Mei's concern, collected glasses, wouldn't sit still. She occupied a compartment in his head that his methodology didn't run in. No file, no protocol, no projected outcomes. That should have unsettled him more than it did.

Ethan and Mei gave each other panicked looks. It was hard to keep a straight face, but Nathan managed. His focus was on Mei, about how she would react to the question. To Nathan's surprise, she handled it perfectly.

"It's um..." Mei's blush deepened and she looked at Ethan for help. "It's private."

Sierra's eyes went from Mei's face to Ethan's and back. Nathan sipped his beer, unable to control his laughter any longer. The panic, the blush, Ethan suddenly very interested in the label of his beer. Nathan watched her put it together in about two seconds.

"Gross. That's my brother." Sierra feigned embarrassment as she grabbed her jacket. "Now I wish I would have ruined the mood."

Mei buried her face in her hands, but unlike before it was pure joy on her face. Ethan wrapped Sierra in a hug. "I'm serious, if you need anything—"

"I'm fine, really." She pulled back and looked at Nathan. "You might as well walk me to the door, doc. These two clearly want us gone."

Mei managed to curtail her embarrassment enough to give Sierra a hug and walk both her and Nathan to the door.

"Drive safe," Ethan said, with a laugh as Sierra hurried toward her car. Nathan hung back a second longer.

"Relax, have fun," Nathan said, cupping Ethan's shoulder. "Remember this is something that you're both going to watch down the line. You don't want to seem too eager."

The smile that was on Ethan's face slowly disappeared as he considered Nathan's words. He nodded in agreement and Nathan turned toward his house.

He was halfway to his front door when his phone buzzed. It was another picture from Sierra. This time it showed her bag. A pair of lace black panties hanging out of the side.

Sierra: They aren't the only ones with plans tonight. I'll be at our spot. Don't keep me waiting.

Pine Street Tap had become the regular meeting place for Sierra and Nathan. The beer selection was shit, and the black-and-white photos behind the bar suggested the place had not seen a makeover since World War II. Still, it was quiet.

Danny, the bartender, spotted Sierra the moment she came through the door. He gave her a friendly wave, wiped down two seats, grabbed a pair of Bud Lights from the cooler, and turned one of the TVs to Jeopardy.

“Something a little stronger today,” Sierra said, sliding off her leather jacket as she looked up at the screen. “Who is Charles Manson.”

Two seconds later, the woman with bottle-cap glasses buzzed in and proved her right.

“How do you do that?” Danny asked as he reached for the whiskey.

“Come on. Famous cult leader who also wrote songs. Even you could have gotten that one.”

Danny shrugged, poured her drink, and slid the glass across the bar. “You want to talk about it?”

“Manson? Not particularly. He’s been talked to death.” She gave him a sly smile.

Danny nodded, catching what she meant, then walked to the far end of the bar to check on his only other customer.

Sierra sat alone with her drink, watching the game play out above her for another twenty minutes before Nathan finally showed. The bell over the door gave a tired jangle, and Sierra looked over surprised that it was even darker outside than in here. She watched him scan the bar, taking a little longer than she would have liked to find her in their usual spot. Sierra lifted her glass in greeting as he crossed the room.

"I was starting to think you weren't going to show." She took a sip of whiskey as Nathan picked up the beer in front of him.

"You're impatient." His eyes dropped to her bag on the hook between them. The black lace was still hanging out of the zipper. She hadn't bothered to fix it.

"See something you like?" Her eyes sparkled as she watched Nathan.

"Just trying to figure out what you would have done if I didn't show up."

Her eyes drifted to Danny. "I would have figured something out."

The lighting wasn't great in the bar, but despite that she was pretty sure she saw his nose crinkle. He was different tonight, in a way she couldn't figure out. Normally, her banter would leave him flustered. When she'd messaged him at the party she was hoping he'd drop his phone in embarrassment, but he took it all in stride, like he was more focused on other things. She laughed at herself. She was pretty sure he would call that projecting.

"So." He turned the bottle in his hand. "How are you holding up? I knew things with James were bad, but..." He paused when she narrowed her eyes. "I just mean, I hope I didn't somehow—"

"You can relax, Nathan. I'm not trying to trick you into a relationship."

"That's not what I asked."

"Yeah it is. You just dressed it up." She held up her glass for Danny. "We both knew where this was going. James and I ran our course, it's as simple as that." She turned in her chair to look at him. “Now, do you really want to keep talking about my soon-to-be ex when I’m sitting here with no underwear on?”

Nathan didn't take the bait. Annoyingly, that was one of the things she liked about him. He studied her for a moment, his fingers sliding over the glass as condensation gathered around his grip. She could almost see the gears turning behind his eyes.

“If it were that simple,” he said, “I don’t think you would have made the announcement at your brother’s birthday party.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

Danny set the fresh glass in front of her, eyebrows raised. Sierra ignored him and swirled the drink, watching the whiskey climb the sides instead of looking at Nathan.

“People get divorced, Nathan. It’s a pretty common thing. I’d expect you of all people to know that.”

“They do.” He nodded. “And yes, I’m aware.” He was doing that stupid thing with his voice. Trying to keep it neutral and calming. It took all of Sierra's willpower not to call him on it. "I'm just saying you dropped a bomb on your family and drove straight here. Most people would want to sit with that for a minute."

"Most people didn't spend years pretending they didn't know their husband was fucking someone from his office." She could feel the venom in her words. "I sat with it plenty. I sat with it while I cooked him dinner and I sat with it while I smiled at his work parties and I sat with it every time he came home smelling like her shampoo." She picked up her glass. "So forgive me if I'm not some broken mess of a girl who needs you to fix her."

She could feel him deciding whether to push harder or let her have it. The playfulness usually tucked behind his eyes had faded, replaced by something softer. It made her want to throw her drink in his face. It shouldn't have been this difficult. She had practically put up a neon sign that said hurry up and fuck me. How was he still finding a way to make this about her feelings?

"Okay." He picked up his beer.

Sierra let a breath out through her nose. "Thank you."

There was an awkward silence after that. They watched the TV together as a woman in a cardigan ran the Shakespeare category and Sierra got every answer but didn't announce any of them. Nathan missed the last clue and she didn't correct him. The whole vibe was off now.

Her phone buzzed against the bar. She picked it up. Her stomach dropped as she skimmed the message from her producer. Dead Air was down eighteen percent from last season. She could already see the conversation coming. The we-love-what-you're-doing-but meeting. The suggestion to pivot. She couldn't handle that. Not now, with everything that was going on. Dead Air was the one piece of good still left in her life. The thing she built from the ground up that no one else had a claim to.

"Everything okay?" Nathan asked, as the color drained from her face.

She picked up the whiskey and drained it without answering. Then set the glass down hard enough that Danny looked up from the register. She pulled two twenties from her wallet and slid them under the empty glass.

"This night is fucked." She grabbed her jacket off the back of the stool.

"Sierra." Nathan turned toward her. "If you want to talk—"

"No Nathan, I don't want to talk." Fire burned in her stomach. "What I wanted was to fuck, but you made it pretty clear you're not interested in that." She sounded exactly like James. "So I'm going to go before the universe decides to throw some other big fuck you at me." She bent down and grabbed her purse. "Sorry to make you drive out here for nothing."

Nathan's hand found her arm. His grip was light, barely there. She stood still for a second, looking at his fingers on her sleeve. Tears prickled the back of her eyes.

"When you're ready to talk. I'm here."

She pulled her arm free. Jacket on. Keys already in her fist. She was at the door before Danny's goodnight reached her and she raised a hand over her shoulder without turning around.

Ethan set the last of the wine glasses next to the sink and gave up on the kitchen. The dishwasher was already full, the counter was buried under paper plates, and the candles from his cake were still lying next to the knife where Mei had pulled them out one at a time. The whole downstairs smelled like frosting. It could all wait until morning.

He locked the front door and stood there with his hand on the deadbolt. Upstairs the shower was running. You don't want to seem too eager. Nathan's words replayed in his head. Upstairs the water had shutoff. He took a deep breath, desperately trying to calm his nerves. His gut twisted, his hands shaking. What if he was pushing her too hard? He shook the thought away. They'd talked about it. Mei had talked about it in therapy. For the last month, she'd been working on this for him. Nathan was right, he needed to enjoy it.

The bedroom was ready. It had been ready since before the party, if Ethan was being honest with himself. The tripod stood at the foot of the bed, his phone locked into place after several failed attempts, angled down the length of the mattress. He had checked the framing twice, stretching out across the comforter where Mei would be, making sure the shot caught both pillows without cutting anyone’s head off. The bathroom door was still closed and he had to stop himself from knocking to see if she was okay. She would be out when she was ready.

He sat on the edge of the bed and wiped his palms on his boxers. His hands continued to shake, but it wasn't just nerves. It was the feeling he used to get on Christmas Eve as a kid, a current with nowhere to go. For a second he thought he was going to be sick. Why was he so nervous? He didn't have time to answer that question honestly as the bathroom door opened.

Mei stood in the doorway with a nervous smile. For a second Ethan forgot how to breathe.

The lingerie she was wearing was new. He didn't even know she'd gone shopping. His cock grew thick as he took in every detail. Black lace clung to her skin, accenting her complexion. Small, thin straps sat on her shoulders, dipping the fabric low across her chest. A small bow held the two cups together, the deep brown of her nipples sticking out under the sheer design. Beneath it, the fabric opened into a deep plunge down the center of her body, exposing a strip of bare skin from her breasts to her navel.

Ethan’s grip tightened on the edge of the mattress.

"Wow, Mei... I... wow."

His gaze went to her legs. The sides rode high, making her legs look longer, and the narrow center disappeared between her thighs. He couldn't believe she was wearing something like this. What made it even more unbelievable was that she wasn't shying away from his gaze at all. If anything, she seemed to be encouraged by it.

His cock throbbed against his pants as he realized just how over dressed he was.

"So... you like it?"

He could tell she was trying to sound sexy, and she did, but there was also hesitation in her voice. He heard the tremor in it. One wrong word and she would retreat back into the bathroom, shut the door, and come out in one of his old T-shirts like this had never happened.

"It's perfect. You're perfect." He pulled his shirt over his head, wanting to match her level of undress.

"Let me," she said with a burst of confidence as she took a tentative step toward him.

Her eyes dropped to the tripod as she passed it. They lingered there for half a second, long enough for his pulse to kick. Then she looked back at him and kept coming. She pressed her hands against his chest and he sucked in a breath as her nails slid down his stomach causing his abs to tighten.

She tipped his face up and kissed him, slowly. Her thumb traced the waistline of his pants, and Ethan groaned in response. She took her time, her kiss growing in passion as the sound of his zipper being lowered sounded like a shotgun blast in his ears.

His hands moved to her back, sliding over the lace as he kissed her. The fabric felt delicate beneath his palms, almost fragile, and then there was hardly any of it at all. His fingers traced between her shoulder blades, following the thin straps down until they gave way to bare skin. His tongue pushed deep into her mouth as he cupped her ass, realizing there was no fabric there either. She was wearing a thong.

Heat punched through him so hard he had to break the kiss. For one dizzy second, he thought he might actually cum untouched. He pressed his forehead to hers, breathing hard, his hands still on her.

"I can't believe you... You're sure you're okay with this?"

"You always do so much for me." Her hands slid inside of his pants, pulling them down his thighs. "Happy birthday, baby."

She kissed him again before he could respond. Her fingers hooked into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down. His cock sprang free and she wrapped her hand around the base without looking down. The contact made his entire body lock. He'd never know Mei to take this kind of command. She was owning the entire thing in a way he didn't think possible.

She backed toward the bed, pulling him with her. Precum gathered at his tip as he followed, half-drunk on the feel of her hand around him. He kicked his pants loose somewhere behind him and nearly tripped over his own feet. Mei tightened her grip, and somehow that was what steadied him.

She sat on the edge of the bed. "So, how do you want me?" Her voice dripped with sex-appeal. It sounded so much like the videos he'd been watching that he needed to do a double-take to make sure it was actually his wife in front of him.

He reached toward the phone on the tripod and tapped the screen. The display bloomed, the red timer appeared in the corner and started counting, and the two of them appeared under it, small and bright, the whole bed in frame.

"Hand and knees," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "I want to make sure I get our entire body in the video."

She hesitated for a moment. Her eyes flicked from Ethan to the phone and back again. Ethan worried he'd said too much. Then she smiled and crawled toward the center of the bed.

She was facing the headboard, the thin strip of the thong pulled taut between her thighs, the lace riding up her ribcage. Then she looked back at him over her shoulder with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. For a moment, all Ethan could do was stare. He wanted to watch her like this for hours. It was intoxicating.

"Now what?" Her gaze went to his cock as she shifted on the comforter.

He climbed onto the bed behind her. His hands sliding across her back, his gaze locked on her ass. It was even better than he'd imagined. His fingers traced the lace around her hips and she rocked back against him in response. The fabric was damp against him. He had barely touched her, and she was already wet.

Her hips kept moving, slow and needy, dragging him between her thighs through the lace. The head of his cock slid against the damp fabric, and she moaned softly, her shoulders dipping toward the mattress. Her head rolled from side to side as her hips bounced.

"Stop teasing me," she whispered, the words breaking Ethan from his trance.

The sight punched the air out of him. Mei was flushed and wet between her thighs, her body glistening in anticipation. Then his focus caught on something smaller. She had shaved. Her skin was smooth along her lips, with only a small dark triangle left above, visible when she shifted her hips and glanced back at him.

Ethan’s grip tightened around the lace bunched in his hand.

She was watching him over her shoulder. Her face colored, but she didn’t look away. “I didn’t know how it would look with the...” She swallowed, her eyes flicking briefly toward the camera. “Outfit.” She chewed on her lip nervously. “Do you like it?”

He didn't know how to respond. His cock pulsed in front of him and on instinct he tilted his hips forward. The head of his cock pressed against her entrance and his mouth fell open. Her body was a furnace. The wet heat consumed him as Mei rocked back into him, burying him to the hilt in one slow stroke.

"Ohhhhh." Her head dropped to the mattress and her fingers curled into the sheets. He held there for a second, the wet heat of her walls squeezing every inch. He could feel her adjusting around him, her body clenching and releasing, the sensation making his vision swim.

He pulled back slowly. His cock was slick with her, her pussy gripping him, reluctant to let go. He thrust back in and she cried out, her back arching.

"God, Ethan." She gripped the sheets tighter. "You feel so good."

She had never been much of a talker during sex. Last week, when he’d caught her touching herself, she’d surprised him with the things that came out of her mouth. He’d thought about those words every day since. But hearing her now, with his dick buried inside her, did something different to him. He threw his hips forward, bottoming out again.

"Fffff, yes, baby. Oh, just like that."

Her ass pushed back, meeting him stroke for stroke. The sound of their bodies colliding echoed through the room. The wet slapping of flesh on flesh. It was exactly like the videos. The thought slipped in before he could stop it, bringing a strange, uneasy heat with it. Mei rolled her hips, clenching around him from the inside, and his stomach tightened. Had she done this before?

The thought was insane. Then her head lifted, turning slightly to the side, and for one dizzy second, it looked like she was staring right at the camera.

"Mmmm, don't stop. Ohhhh God."

His eyes followed her gaze to the small screen. They were both in the picture perfectly. Mei's head was back down, her hips slamming into Ethan. She looked like a goddess with her dark hair spilled around her.

Ethan looked nothing like that. Sweat dripped from his forehead. His mouth hung open, his face tense and uncertain, like he didn’t know where to look or what to do with his hands. Watching himself inside her should have turned him on. It did turn him on. But beneath that was a sick little twist of doubt that grew every time Mei took him deeper.

His cock registered the problem before his head could. A soft pulse, a retreat. The hard steel of him giving way by half an inch inside her. Not enough for Mei to notice, but enough for him to feel the world tilt.

It had happened once before, during his best-man speech. He’d looked up and seen three people recording him, and his mind had gone blank for what felt like an hour. This was the same thing. He just needed to get out of his head. Ethan grabbed the soft flesh of Mei’s ass and pulled her back into him. The friction helped. So did the way her moan broke when he hit deeper. Her walls tightened around him, and his cock swelled inside her again, the brief softness disappearing beneath the heat of her body.

"You're so deep." Her voice was different now. Breathier, louder. She was about to cum.

His palms slid up her back, between her shoulder blades. Mei threw her head back, and his fingers caught in her hair. "Ohhhh ffff. Right there, baby. Don't stop."

The words became the only thing in his head. He tried to focus on Mei’s body, on the warmth wrapped around him, on the way she tightened every time he pushed deep. But as her moans got louder, it stopped sounding like encouragement and more like a need. He glanced back at the camera. Mei’s face was contorted in pleasure, her mouth open, her dark hair clinging to her cheek. But all Ethan saw was himself behind her. The terrified look on his face. The stiffness in his shoulders. The panic he couldn’t hide. He pushed harder, desperate to give Mei what she craved, determined to find the exact angle she needed.

This time, he knew it was going to happen. The firmness slipped out of him in degrees, so slow at first he tried to pretend it wasn’t real. He pushed deeper, gripped her ass harder, anything to force his body back into place, but the harder he tried, the worse it got. Mei’s moan faltered. Her hips began to slow, then stopped altogether.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing. I'm good, I just..." His hands loosened on her hips. "Give me a minute."

She pulled forward and he slipped out of her, soft and slick against his own thigh. The loss of her heat hit him like cold water. She turned, rolled onto her back, her hair spreading across the pillow. She brushed his knee with her fingers. "Did I do something wrong?"

“No. I just...” He looked at the camera, then moved off the bed. “I’m just going to check and make sure it’s, um, getting everything.”

Mei smiled, the leg closest to him falling open against the sheets. “Okay.” Her fingers drifted down her stomach, her eyes still hazy with want. “I’ll just be here...” Her touch found her clit, and her hips lifted off the bed. “Mmmm. Waiting.”

Her free hand pushed the lace aside and found her nipple, rolling it between her fingers. Her eyes slammed shut, her tongue sliding over her top lip. She wasn't waiting for him. Her hips rocked against her own hand and every few seconds she let out a moan that made his cock twitch despite the softening.

Ethan stood beside the bed with one hand on the tripod, staring like he had forgotten why he’d gotten up in the first place. Mei didn’t seem to notice. Or if she did, she didn’t mind. Her fingers dipped between her legs, pulling a moan from her lips. Ethan watched, wide-eyed, as they slid from her parted folds, drenched, then danced over her clit.

His gaze went to the phone still in the tripod. On the screen, Mei looked better than any actress. The angle from the side of the bed caught the spread of her legs, the curve of her stomach, the tremble in her thighs every time she brushed against her swollen nub. Ethan barely existed in the shot now, just a shadow at the edge of the frame. And somehow that made it easier to breathe.

He unclipped the phone from the tripod.

Mei’s eyes opened halfway when she heard the plastic snap loose, but she didn’t stop touching herself. “Mmm,” she sighed, watching him through heavy lids. “Coming back to join me?” Her lips curved into a smile as her gaze dropped to Ethan’s cock, already starting to come back to life.

“In a second.” His throat felt dry. “You look so perfect.”

He held the phone in front of him and moved slowly along the side of the bed, watching the screen more than her. The image shifted with every step. Her knees in the foreground. The damp shine between her thighs. Her chest rising and falling between her fingertips. By the time he reached the head of the bed, he had a perfect angle down the length of her body. Her face flushed. Her eyes squeezed shut. The small triangle of hair matted above her pussy as her fingers plunged inside her.

Ethan swallowed, his cock hardening with each second he stayed behind the lens.

She must have sensed him there. Her eyes fluttered open. She looked right at the camera and licked her lips, her gaze filled with a hunger Ethan had never seen before. She pushed up on one elbow and reached for him. Her fingers wrapped around his shaft and pulled him toward her mouth. The first touch of her lips around the head of his cock nearly dropped him.

“Fuuuuck.” His free hand grabbed the headboard. She took him deeper, her tongue flat against the underside, while her other hand kept working between her thighs. The vibration of her moan ran up through his shaft and echoed through his entire body. Her hips continued to rock, her orgasm building fast.

He looked at the screen. Her mouth was stretched around him. Her lips were slick as she hollowed her cheeks. A thought crept into the back of Ethan's mind that destroyed him. Other than his dick, Ethan wasn't in frame at all. The cock in her mouth could have belonged to anyone.

"Oh fuck. Mei, I'm—"

She didn't pull back. Her grip tightened at his base, twisting, stroking what her mouth couldn't reach. Her pace quickened and the wet sounds of her mouth and her fingers filled the room and his vision went white at the edges.

The orgasm hit so hard his legs buckled. He grabbed the headboard, his hips jerking forward as he pulsed into her mouth, wave after wave, his whole body shaking so hard the phone nearly slipped from his grip. She took it. Swallowed around him and kept going, her hand still working between her thighs, her lips still sealed around him, and the vibration of the moan she made against his cock sent another pulse through him that he felt in his teeth.

"Mmmnnnnph." She pulled off him with a gasp, her forehead pressing against his thigh, her breath ragged and hot on his skin. Her hips bucked off the mattress. Her fingers pressed deep and her thighs clamped together and her back arched so hard her shoulders lifted off the sheets. "Ohh—ohh fuck—fuuuck—" Her body went stiff. She rode through the orgasm with her face pressed against his thigh, one hand still locked between her legs, trembling through every last wave.

He stopped the recording and set the phone on the nightstand.

She rolled toward him. He dropped onto the bed and she crawled onto his chest, her hair damp and sticking to his skin, her breathing jagged. She was warm and trembling and she pressed her lips to his collarbone and left them there.

"Happy birthday."

Ethan pulled her tight and stared at the ceiling. She had only gone down on him a handful of times in their marriage, and she had never swallowed. He wanted to think about that. About the woman who looked into a camera and touched herself without flinching. The therapy was working. His eyes went to the phone on the nightstand. So why was the most exciting part of the night when he wasn't in the frame? He stared at the dark screen for a long time, then pulled the sheet over both of them and closed his eyes.

It had been four days since the bar and Nathan still hadn't heard from Sierra. He'd sent her a text the morning after, a joke about one of the contestants on Jeopardy, letting her know the door was open. She hadn't responded.

He'd replayed the bar conversation more times than he cared to admit. It was a classic case of displacement. Her marriage had failed and she wanted to bury it with sex and alcohol. He should have just let her. The drama was something he generally tried to avoid. Instead, he walked into it head first.

He checked his phone one more time. Nothing. He set it in the desk drawer and opened his notepad to a fresh page. Ethan was due in five minutes and Nathan could barely contain his excitement. Nathan had spent the better part of the morning reviewing all of Mei's footage. She'd come so far in the last month. Nathan had little doubt that she had made Ethan's birthday special. He ran his hand through his beard. How Ethan responded to that enthusiasm was another thing entirely.

The knock came two minutes early. Nathan opened the door and gave Ethan a smile and stepped aside. He didn't look like his usual happy-go-lucky self. There were bags under his eyes, and his usual smile was gone, replaced by a thin line as he gave Nathan a nod. He sat on the edge of the sofa, his back hunched forward.

"Thanks for squeezing me in a few days early." His knee started bouncing.

"Of course." Nathan closed the door and took his chair. He set the notepad on his thigh and clicked his pen. "How are you doing? Birthday recovery going okay?"

Ethan laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Mei went all out with the food and everything. And Sierra's whole thing, the divorce..." He rubbed his palms on his jeans. "I should probably check in on her more. I knew things were bad but I didn't realize..." He trailed off.

"She'll be alright. Humans have an amazing ability to adapt and overcome." He watched Ethan nod. "And your sister seems to have a tremendous amount of tenacity based on the few times I've met her." He made sure to make it sound casual. The last thing he needed was Ethan getting suspicious. "Anyway. I suspect that isn't the real reason you're here." He shifted in his chair trying not to sound too eager. "How was the rest of the night? After we all left."

Ethan's knee stopped. Then it started again, faster. "It was good. Mei was incredible, honestly. She..." He paused like he was unsure how much to say.

Nathan let him go at his own pace.

"She bought lingerie." He sat back, smiling slightly. "I never thought I'd see the day." His voice picked up speed, the nervous energy building. "I honestly wasn't sure what to expect. But she was so... confident. Like, she was taking charge. I've never seen her like that. But then..." He trailed off and swallowed.

Nathan waited. Normally this was where Ethan kept going, offering up more than anyone asked for. But his mouth stayed shut and his thumb pressed into his opposite palm so hard the skin went white.

"It's okay. Take your time."

"It was great." His eyes went to the floor and he hunched back over, placing his elbows on his knees.

Nathan made a note. Wall. This was new. Whatever happened after the lingerie had shut him down completely.

"Ethan."

"I don't want to talk about it." He said it fast, almost angry. Then he caught himself and scrubbed his hands over his face. "Sorry. I didn't mean... It's just. Can we talk about something else for a minute?"

"Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. Anything."

Nathan watched as his eyes darted from one spot on the floor to another. He'd expected this conversation to go a lot of different ways. But he never imagined it would shut Ethan down completely.

"She was perfect, Nathan." His voice was quiet now. "She did everything right. And I..." He stopped. His jaw worked but nothing came out. He pressed his palms flat over his eyes and tipped his head back against the couch. "Fuck."

"You don't have to tell me anything you're not ready to."

"I know. I just..." He dropped his hands and stared at the ceiling. "Can you put me under?"

Nathan kept his face still. "We talked about this before, Ethan. I'm not sure—"

"It worked with Mei, right? I just... I want to talk about this, but I just... I can't." He rubbed the back of his neck. "If you can just help me relax or whatever then... I don't know."

Nathan studied his friend. Of course he was going to put him under, he just didn't want to seem too eager. Ethan had always been weak-minded, he didn't think he needed hypnosis to get him to play his role in all of this, but if he wanted a nudge then Nathan would be happy to oblige.

"Alright. Lean back. Close your eyes."

He took him through the same process as Mei. He told Ethan to focus on his breathing. Then, it was the hands on the clock, watching the seconds tick. Ethan's body sank into the sofa, his eyes fighting to stay open.

"Can you hear me, Ethan?"

He nodded.

"Good. Now, I want you to go back to the bedroom. Mei is in the lingerie. You're on the bed. Tell me what happened." He glanced at the camera in the bookshelf.

"She did everything I asked. She got on all fours. It was like she was playing for the camera." His voice was flat and robotic. "She was so wet. She's loud. It was exactly like the women in the porn I watched."

"That's good." He kept his voice quiet. "What happens next?"

"I..." His body went rigid, his eyes starting to flutter. "I started to go soft."

"Deep breaths, Ethan. Everything is okay."

His shoulders started to relax. "I looked at the camera and it was like I couldn't get out of my own head. Like I couldn't focus on anything but that."

"That's okay." Nathan leaned forward, his pulse ticking up. "Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea of something, we don't think about how our body will react to it. What did you do when that happened?"

"I told her I was going to check the camera." His head lolled from side to side. "She said it was okay then rolled over and started touching herself."

Nathan's cock swelled. "And what did you do?"

"I picked up the phone... and just watched." His fingers twitched against his thigh. "I was hard again before I even looked at the screen."

Nathan shifted in his chair. He didn't bother writing it down. "So you got hard watching your wife touch herself. There's nothing wrong with that."

"But she shouldn't have needed to. I should have been the one to..." His face grimaced and for a moment Nathan worried he was going to pull out of it.

"Was she able to climax?"

"Yeah we... both did." Ethan's hands went still on his chest. "She took me in her mouth while she touched herself and..."

"Whatever you're struggling to say, I promise it sounds worse in your head than out loud."

"When I came, I was watching her on screen. I..." His breathing shifted. "My face wasn't in it."

Nathan couldn't help it. He adjusted himself. This was exactly how he'd hoped it would play out. Mei had come out of her shell. She was ready for so much more than Ethan could give her. It was only a matter of time now before her own subconscious told her that. And now, all Ethan needed was the slightest push.

"Let me repeat back to you what I heard, Ethan." He made a show of flipping through his notes for the camera. "You asked your wife to make a sex tape with you. She did and it was even more than you could imagine. In the end, you both orgasmed. So, you gave her exactly what she wanted and she gave you what you wanted. You just didn't expect it to happen the way it did."

"Yeah, but—"

"Ethan, listen to me." He dropped his voice lower, leaning forward. "What happened that night wasn't a failure. You and Mei connected in a way you never have before. She was confident. She was free. And you were the reason she felt safe enough to be that way." He paused. "The only thing that changed was your position. You stepped out of the frame and behind the camera, and everything worked. Your body was telling you what it wanted."

Ethan's breathing stayed even.

"Think about the videos you watched for your homework. The ones where the women looked like Mei. What excited you about those?"

"Watching them. Seeing them... let go."

"And with Mei. Would you say that you enjoyed seeing her let go?"

"Yes."

"Mei is becoming someone incredible. You've seen it. The way men look at her now, the way she carries herself. That excites you, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"It's okay that you want to watch her be desired." He eyed the camera. "Just because you're not in the frame, doesn't mean you can't both enjoy this side of her."

Nathan watched Ethan's mind work, fitting the pieces together in a way that mostly made sense.

"You mentioned you came watching the video of her taking you in her mouth. Did you imagine it was someone else?"

"I..."

Nathan held his breath.

"I'm not sure."

"Maybe the next step for the two of you is to bring someone else in. See how that affects your dynamic."

Ethan's fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt.

"It should be someone she trusts. Someone you feel safe with. Let her be this new version of herself. Show her that you can support her. That you can still desire her. Even if you're not in frame, so to speak."

Ethan's face changed, but he didn't speak.

"I'm going to bring you back out now, Ethan. I'll start counting backward. Then when you wake, you'll feel refreshed and calm. You'll remember that we talked about your anxiety, but now you have a plan and that eases your anxiety. Do you understand?"

He nodded. Nathan brought him up on a slow count of ten. Ethan blinked at the ceiling, then rubbed his eyes.

"That was..." He laughed. "I feel like I took a nap or something. How long was I out?"

"About forty minutes. That's normal."

Ethan reached for his phone and stared at the screen. "Forty minutes? Seriously?" He shook his head, still groggy. "I feel better though. Did we... I mean, we talked about it, right?"

"We did. It sound like you had a pretty incredible birthday." He grinned.

"Yeah," Ethan laughed. "I guess I did."

"We're actually out of time." Nathan gestured toward the clock. "But I'm glad you're feeling better."

Ethan nodded. "I can't believe it's already been..." He shook his head. "Thanks, man. I know you hear this a lot, but what you're doing for Mei and me. I can't put into words how grateful I am."

"Anytime."

CHAPTER 10 — CHOICE POINT

The Decision

PATH ONE: Mei finds her voice

Making the tape and helping Ethan fulfill his fantasy made Mei realize she wants to explore her own fantasy as well. She decides to open up to Ethan about her desire to be watched.

PATH TWO: Ethan wants to try something different

The hypnosis worked. Ethan can't stop thinking about the tape, about the moment his face left the frame, about how hard he came when the cock in Mei's mouth could have belonged to anyone. He needs to talk to Mei about it. But how do you tell your once shy conservative wife you want to watch her with someone else?

PATH THREE: The Breakthrough

Mei is ready. Her body wants to submit, even if her mind doesn't. Nathan will put her under again. Once he touches her, with her mind quiet her body will respond appropriately. Once she experiences it she'll crave him without hypnosis.