Midnight Pals: New Book (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello childrenRowling: i'd like you all to know about my new bookKing: you wrote another harry potter book? awesome!Rowling: no itsss not a harry potter bookBarker: oh jesus not another cormorant shrikeRowling: ITS CORMORAN SSTRIKERowling: AND NO

Rowling: this book is called 'the women who won't wheeshhht'Barker: women who won't wee or shit?Rowling: no that'sss not what i sssaidRowling: that'sss not what i sssaid and you know it!!

Rowling: [muttering] think you're ssso sssmart well you won't be laughing when you hear from my barrisssterBarker: what was that?Rowling: nothing

Barker: so the women who won't wee or shitBarker: is that why there's no toilets in hogwarts?Rowling: no!!Rowling: that's unrelated!!!Rowling: i've come up with a new retcon for thatBarker: oh boy i bet its a doozyPoe: clive

Rowling: they removed all the hogwartss toiletss because the PC police were going to force them to let transs women ussse the ladiesss roomRowling: so instead dumbledore bravely removed all toiletsssRowling: a great man, dumbledoreBarker: and that's when wizards started just shitting themselves?Rowling: yesss

Barker: anywayBarker: the women who won't wee or shitKing: are youKing: are you committed to that title, joanne?King: cuz now that clive's said itKing: i really can't not hear it

Rowling: i've got 10 thousand copiesss already printed!Rowling: i can't make changess nowRowling: look itss just gonna be cheaper to ssue anyone who makess fun of itBarker: who makes fun of the women who won't wee or shitRowling: that'sss it!!!Rowling: you're on my lissst!!!

Rowling: everyone loves the women who wheeessst!!Rowling: it's full of manifestosss about the transss quessstionRowling: and the final sssolutionKing:Koontz:Barker:Lovecraft:Poe:Rowling: my friendss and relativesss begged me not to do thisssRowling: BEGGED ME!Rowling: with tears in their eyessRowling: but i could not be dissuaded!King: what did your friends say about it then?Rowling: i don't really know, we don't really talk much anymore