Midnight Pals: The TV That Glowed (Patreon)

Jane Schoenbrun: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the glowing tvSchoenbrun: it's about this kid who's obsessed with a 90s TV series called the pink opaqueSchoenbrun: and how estrogen would have saved her

King: Oh, like Pete and Pete!Schoenbrun: whatKing: the show! it's like pete and pete, right?Schoenbrun:Schoenbrun: no

Poe: steve, it's clearly based on Are You Afraid of the DarkKing: you think? it really seems like more of a Pete and Pete thingPoe: trust meKing: remember arnie? strongest man in the worldPoe: sure steveKing: man! what a great show!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckersPoe: jane was telling a story about this 90s showKing: Pete and PetePoe: it's not Pete and PetePoe: it's clearly got an Are You Afraid of the Dark vibeBarker: really it's more of a Clarissa Explains it AllShelley: now THAT was a showBarker: na na na na na na naShelley: alright alright!Barker: na na na naShelley: hey cool!King: wow, mary, i didn't know you were into clarissa explains it allShelley: there's lots you don't know steveShelley: i'm a real fuckin enigma, steve

Schoenbrun: well, you're all wrong!!Schoenbrun: it's based on the secret world of alex mackKing:King: oh yeah i can kinda see that nowPoe: yeah that makes senseBarker: i feel dumb we didn't pick up on thatLovecraft: yeah its obvious when you say it

Schoenbrun: well here's something else that's obviousSchoenbrun: this story's about being transKing: what, really? i didn't pick up on thatBarker: oh damn steve was the omnipresent white, blue and pink color scheme too subtle for you?King: the omnipresent what color scheme?

Schoenbrun: the 90s TV show is about these two girls who fight against the evil Dr. DysphoriaSchoenbrun: stop me if i'm being too subtleKing: [looks at kafka]Poe: [looks at kafka]Lovecraft: [looks at kafka]Koontz: [looks at kafka]Barker: [looks at kafka]Franz Kafka: what

Schoenbrun: so in this next scene, they're in this bar where this cool badass girl punk is singing Schoenbrun: the subtext is wouldn't it be cool to be this cool badass girl punk?Kafka: well yeah but everyone thinks thatKafka: i mean, right?Kafka: that's just a normal thing

Schoenbrun: next the character turns to the screen and says "do you, the viewer, suffer from gender dysphoria? check all the following symptoms which apply to you"Schoenbrun: againSchoenbrun: stop me if i'm being too subtleFranz Kafka: why are you looking at me

Schoenbrun: what i am saying isSchoenbrun: there is still time to be your own true authentic selfKafka:

Schoenbrun: think about what i'm saying hereKafka: haha iKafka: Kafka: [stands up, quietly leaves]Barker: oh i didn't expect thatBarker: shitBarker: we'd better go after herPoe: no no give her some spacePoe: this has been a long time comingPoe: seven years, statistically