Midnight Pals: Da Picts (Patreon)

Grant Allen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of Pallinghurst BarrowAllen: it's about a scientist who's going to a scientist conventionAllen: to talk to scientists about scienceAllen: as you do

Allen: of course, this scientistAllen: he's very rational, very logicalAllen: he's certainly NOT given to wild flights of fancyAllen: not the sort to believe in non-scientific thingsKing: oooo this going to be good!

Allen: but it turns out that right next to his lodgingsAllen: there's this barrowAllen: it's probably nothing to worry aboutAllen: it's probably fine

Allen: but THENAllen: he goes out to the barrow and OH SHITAllen: he sees the ghosts of the picts!Allen: and he's all "oh no"Allen: "I sure PICT a bad time to go to the barrow!"

Allen: he sees these scary pict cavemenAllen: with their sloping ape-like brows and hairy monkey facesKing: hey grant i don't think the picts were actually cavemenLovecraft: steve, don't interrupt the man!

King: i'm pretty sure the picts weren't cavemen thoAllen: no no they were definitely cavemenAllen: see, steve, there's this brand new theoryAllen: it's called evolutionAllen: you might have heard of itAllen: see, the way it works isAllen: organisms change over time due to mutation and geneticsAllen: stop me if i'm going too fastKing: no i'm following so farPoe: steve you know this theoryKing: edgar pleaseKing: i'm listening and learning

Allen: so seeAllen: people evolved from cavemen, right?King: i mean, i get the principle, yesAllen: and the picts came before us, right?Allen: so the picts were cavemen, right?Allen: that's scienceKing: ya know, i can't argue with science

Allen: anyway, the scientist is all "boy i'm having a hard time with these ghost picts"Allen: "maybe the local doctor can give me a prescription for a nice sedative"Allen: and the doctor's all "solution is simple, you need to smoke this weed"Allen: "that will definitely stop those weird thoughts and visions"

Allen: anyway he takes the weedAllen: but surprisingly, that is NOT the end of the weird thoughts and visionsFitz James O'Brien: hey manO'Brien: did i hear someone was looking for the weed that stops you from having weird thoughts and visions?Allen: yes, do you have anything like that?O'Brien: man, i got EVERYTHINGO'Brien: but no i don't have that

Allen: what do you do if you're having weird thoughts and visions?O'Brien: man, you should try smoking a little bud, manAllen: will that help?O'Brien: will that help what