Midnight Pals: Fat Dog (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Allison Bailey: dark lord, dark lord, help me! Bailey: the vet told me my dog is TOO FAT Rowling: my god Rowling: i can't believe they would attack your gender critical beliefs like that Bailey: that's exactly what I said!

Rowling: exactly what happened Rowling: what me through the whole thing Bailey: ok so i went to the vet Rowling: right, right Bailey: looking for a vigorous debate about the importance of biological reality in assessing entry to womens spaces Rowling: uh huh, right Rowling: asss you do

Bailey: but it seems the trans activists had beat me there bc the vet didn't want to talk about that Bailey: almost like they were afraid of appearing politically incorrect and inciting the wrath of the trans activist mob Bailey: instead they just wanted to talk about my dog's health Rowling: weirdBailey: yeah like the vet was OBSESSED with talking about my dog Bailey: they just wanted to examine my dog Rowling: right right probably to make sssure the dog had the proper genitalsss right? Bailey: no they didn't mention that Rowling: what Bailey: i know right??!!?

Bailey: look, if my dog IS fat Bailey: its only because the trans activists have been throwing wispas over the fence as part of a plot to make my dog fat Rowling: i thought chocolate killed dogsss Bailey: i can't be expected to remember every little thing about what dogs can and can't eat

Bailey: i mean you tell me Bailey: does this dog look fat to you? Rowling: Rowling: hm Rowling: uh Rowling: sso Rowling: Rowling: how much sspaghetti are you feeding thiss dog Bailey: ok sure maybe i have been known to leave my briefcase open from time to time

Bailey: ok look sometimes i'm running late for court Bailey: and sometimes i trip as i'm running out the door Bailey: and ok maybe sometimes i drop my briefcase Bailey: and i guess occasionally spaghetti spills all over the floor and my dog eats it Bailey: but only a racist would point that out

Rowling: iss that really what happened? Bailey: i mean its basically what happened Rowling: Bailey: Rowling: Bailey:

[earlier] vet: so we got your dog's bloodwork back Bailey: did you know lesbians are going extinct? the average diameter of the british lesbian vagina has reduced 3 mm over the past decade Bailey: if these trends continue vet: vet: uh yeah so we got your dog's blood work back

vet: so we got your dog's blood work back vet: so uh vet: on average vet: how much spaghetti would you say your dog eats in a week? Bailey: oh jeez that's hard to say vet: right right vet: but just say on average vet: just a ballpark estimate