Midnight Pals: Withered Hill (Patreon)

David Barnett: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of withered hillBarnett: its about this woman who gets trapped in this weirdly horny british villageBarnett: for being too big a slutMary Shelley: lol no such thing

Edward Lee: broLee: broLee: where is this village?Barnett: oh you wouldn't want to go to this villageBarnett: everyone there is just horny and fucking all the timeBarnett: just walking around with big ol' bonersLee: broBarker: yeah i would really like you to answer edward's question

Barnett: no no it's not hotBarnett: it's actually quite charmingBarnett: once you get used to itBarnett: you know, its just really quite quaint and british

Angela Carter: excuse me you're saying that if a woman is sexual she should be punishedBarnett: no no of course notBarnett: she didn't actually get trapped for being too big a slut'Barnett: there were other reasonsBarnett: her being a slut is purely incidental

Barnett: i assure you, her predicament has nothing to do with her voracious sexual appetiteCarter: ah okCarter: wellCarter: goodBarnett: its actually cuz she buys too many panties

Barnett: she's always buying pantiesBarnett: just an insane amount of pantiesPiers Anthony: [nodding] right right

Barnett: now if she was buying a reasonable amount of panties that would be one thingBarnett: but this is just far too many pantiesAnthony: what kind of pantiesBarnett: oh i don't knowBarnett: just the regular kind, i guessBarnett: you know, likeBarnett: girl panties

Anthony: I need details!Anthony: Is it pretty in pink or all see-through?Anthony: Is it showing off her brand new lower back tattoo?

Anthony: I don't have to guess the color of her underwearAnthony: I already know what she's got goin' on down thereAnthony: It's that lacy black pair with the black fishnetsAnthony: the ones i know she bought on the internetAnthony: I saw them when she sat down, they were peekin' outAnthony: I'm gonna tell you right now, they're all I'm thinkin' about

Barnett: the thing is this woman is so wasteful that she wears her panties once and throw them outAnthony: [huffing big wad of panties] I wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it, pull it to the side and get all up in it

Barnett: this woman, like, drinks a bottle of wine in a nightPatricia Highsmith: hmm seems kinda lightBarnett: sometimes two bottlesHighsmith: ah now we're talkin!Highsmith: what a dame!!

Barnett: she's just drinkin' booze and buying pantiesBarnett: and that's wastefulBarnett: do you know what percentage of landfill is made up of single-use panties?Barnett: ITS A LOT