Midnight Pals: Mambo Macabre (Patreon)

Tabitha King: did listening to lou bega’s mambo no 5 incessantly on loop for hours help inspire you to write?Stephen King: it did!Stephen King: but why wound readers’ brain with words?!Stephen King: when I can set their souls on fire with a slanderous mambo?!?

Stephen King: [rolling fedora down arm & popping it onto head in one fluid motion] ladies and gentlemenKing: mambo no 5 has inspired meKing: so I have composed my own mamboKoontz: wow!Koontz: I can’t believe someone wrote a sixth mambo!

King: listen, if you will, to MY mamboKing: bam BAM badam bam bamKing: ohhhhKing: A LITTLE BIT OF TABITHAKing: SHE’S MY WIFE!King: A LITTLE BIT OF MARYKing: SHE’S GOT A KNIFE!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF SONIA, SHE LIKES SQUID!King: A LITTLE BIT OF JAC, IN THE GRIP OF IT!King: A LITTLE BIT OF DAPHNE, FOR THE BIRDS!King: A LITTLE BIT OF SEANAN, FOR THE NERDS!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF VC, IN THE ATTIC!King: A LITTLE BIT OF PATRICIA, SHE’S PROBLEMATIC!King: A LITTLE BIT OF URSULA, ON THE FARM!King: A LITTLE BIT OF MARIAH DARLING AND EVE HARMS!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF HAILEY, WITH YELLOW GAME!King: A LITTLE BIT OF CHARLOTTE, WITH WALLPAPER SAME!King: A LITTLE BIT OF ANGELA, WITH CHAMBER BLOODY!King: A LITTLE BIT OF EMILY, FACE ALL RUDDY!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF PAULA, FACE FULL OF TEETH!King: A LITTLE BIT OF KRISTI, GOIN DOWN BENEATH!King: A LITTLE BIT OF SILVIA, GOTHIC MEXICAN!King: A LITTLE BIT OF KIJ, SHE LOVES JAPAN!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF TANANARIVE, MY SOUL TO KEEP!King: A LITTLE BIT OF HILDUR, DON’T GO TO SLEEP!King: A LITTLE BIT OF AGUSTINA, KILLING HEAD!King: A LITTLE BIT OF MEGAN, THE SEA HIDES ITS DEAD!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF KATHE, HOLES IN WALLS!King: A LITTLE BIT OF GRETCHEN, EATING BALLS!King: A LITTLE BIT OF LAUREL, DAY OF THE DOOR!King: A LITTLE BIT OF GEMMA – FILES AND AMOR!

King: A LITTLE BIT OF JENNIFER, WITH WINTER PEOPLE!King: A LITTLE BIT OF SHIRLEY, WITH SUMMER PEOPLE!Barker: you can’t rhyme people with peopleKing: a little bit uhhKing: uhhhhhKing: you threw me offKing: now I lost itBarker: not a big loss, reallyPoe: clive