Midnight Pals: Spooky Christmas (Patreon)

Charles Dickens: hey it's Christmas!Dickens: you know what that means!Clive Barker: Christmas was last week, manDickens: it meansDickens: what?Dickens: no no that can't be!

Charles Dickens: [throwing open window] You boy! what day is today?Victorian moppet: oy, what day is it? why, it's the week after Christmas, sir!Dickens: the week after Christmas???Dickens: jesus christDickens: what a fuckin fiascoDickens: i bet this is hans Christian Andersen's fault

Dickens: hey guys it's the week after ChristmasDickens: you know what that means?Poe:Barker:King:Koontz:Lovecraft:Dickens: it means ghost stories, damnitDickens: ghost stories

Dickens: there'll be scary ghost storiesDickens: and tales of the gloryDickens: ofDickens: ofDickens:Dickens: uhhhhhhDickens: whatever, there's gonna be ghost stories okay?

Dickens: who's got a good Christmas ghost story?Dean Marney: i got one!Marney: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the Christmas tree that ate my motherMarney: don't worry, it's gentle enough for a childMarney: but fucked up enough that you'll remember it as an adult

Marney: imagine that you're a preteen girl in the 90sMarney: and you just have the most obnoxious familyMarney: real shitty dismissive parentsMarney: and a fucking twerp of a little brotherMarney: this is the stuff that kids can really relate to

Marney: but then they get this weird Christmas treeMarney: and it eats her mom!Dean Koontz: Noooo! No!Koontz: stop it! i don't like this story!King: it's okay dean, calm downKing: it's just a story

Koontz: what if a Christmas tree ate MY mom?!King: iKing: jeez, what if that DID happen?Poe: you can't go down that road, steveKing: but what if dean's right?Poe: well, if that happened thenPoe: oh no, now i'm getting scared

Lovecraft: you know guys i'm gonna call my mom right nowLovecraft: i'm not worried about her or anything butLovecraft: but just to make sure she's okay

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?Barker: everyone's real scared about what if a Christmas tree ate their momShelley: oh my god, you nerdsShelley: if a Christmas tree ate my mom, i just have sex on top of it with my gay boyfriend

Barker:Barker: huhBarker: kinda thought you would-Shelley: and then i'd stab itBarker: there it is

Dean Marney: don't worry, cuz then the girl goes into the Christmas tree to save her momMarney: because inside the Christmas tree is a weird pocket dimension of cold gray protoplasmMarney: full of weird gooey things that brush past you in the oozy penumbraPoe:Barker:King:Koontz:Lovecraft: oh wait, this is actually cool!

Marney: unfortunately this kid's troubles aren't overMarney: at thanksgiving, a turkey ate her fatherMarney: at easter, a rabbit ate her brotherMarney: this kid just can't catch a break

Clive Barker: wait a second hereBarker: do you just have a vore fetish?Marney: w-whatBarker: once is a fluke, twice is a coincidenceBarker: but three times?Barker: that's a fetish