Midnight Pals: The Bride! (Patreon)

Maggie Gyllenhaal: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the bride!Gyllenhaal: the exclamation point denotes excitementGyllenhaal: please clap

Gyllenhaal: it's about the brideMary Shelley: whoa whoa whoa hold on a second thereShelley: the bride of WHO?Gyllenhaal: you knowGyllenhaal: [tapping nose] frankShelley: ha ha haShelley: you sly bitch

Gyllenhaal: frank and the brideGyllenhaal: they lived a lot togetherGyllenhaal: and finally togetherGyllenhaal: they diedGyllenhaal: wah wah wah WAAAAAAH

Gyllenhaal: you know, you really can't talk about the bride of frankensteinGyllenhaal: [sitting on chair backwards] without talking about consentDan Simmons: UGH i can't believe frankenstein went woke!Mary Shelley: shut the fuck up loserShelley: let her cook

Simmons: once again, the woke mob is forcing PC politics into our classic monsters!Simmons: what's next?Simmons: DEI dracula?Simmons: the wolf they/them?Simmons: a mummy that likes italians?Lovecraft: oh no!Simmons: i tell you, it's political correctness gone mad!Simmons: why, it's getting so that you can't even be racist anymore!Mary Shelley: heyShelley: aren't you deadSimmons:Simmons: wowSimmons: too soon

Poe: well, mary, in all fairnessShelley: you better not fuckin say it, edgarShelley: this is getting real john barthyPoe:Poe: i withdraw the statementShelley: good

Gyllenhaal: anyway this is a retelling of frankenstein as a romantic bonnie and clyde gothic murder balladPoe: different! what do you think, mary?Mary Shelley: is igor in this oneGyllenhaal: noShelley: then i like it

Simmons: i can't believe we're talking about consentSimmons: i thought we were past caring about consent as a societySimmons: but instead it's woke 2.0 >:CSimmons: why are you all backing awayBarker: no reasonShelley: [sharpening shiv] oh there's a reason

Mary Shelley: i consentPercy Shelley: i consentLord Byron: i consentGravestone of Mary Wollstonecraft: isn't there someone you forgot to ask?