Midnight Pals: My Dinner with Elon (Patreon)

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight Elon Musk [rising from bushes]: eeyyyyy stephano king Barker: hey look steve it's your best friend King: goddamnit clive King: we're not King: elon what do you want this time

Musk: stephano king i aska you fora da last time Musk: why you no lika me Musk: we so mucha da same, lika two peas inna pod King: how do you figure that? Musk: Musk: mama mia you contradicta me? Musk: maybe you a pedophile

King: see, elon, this is the problem King: you're just being immature Musk: mama mia ima very mature Musk: lika my boy you know he very based Musk: you shoulda introduce himma to your boy King: i don't think so Musk: mama mia itsa great idea!!

Musk: you bringa you boy, i bringa my boy Musk: we go onna big play date together King: i don't want to do this Joe Hill: dad please don't make me do this King: don't worry joe i would never make you do this King: i love my beautiful boy joe!

[at the tesla restuarant] Musk: eyyyy what you thinka of my restaurant stephano king? Musk: itsa real epic eh? King: i didn't agree to this meeting Musk: eyyy but i own a twitter so i controlla you whole universe King: King: i thought these were posted on bluesky now Musk: what

Musk: check outta dis menu stephano king King: oh all the items are named after memes? Musk: not just memes Musk: EPIC memes (for da win) Musk: w00t!!! Musk: i will haffa da all your base issa belong to us burger witha da side of da dancing baby from ally mcbeal fries Musk: anna chad vader milkshake

Musk: now my boy willa order his owna food lika big boy Musk: watcha this stephano king Musk: itsa so based Saxon Musk: i wank milk Musk: eh? eh? eh? King: Musk: he orders da milk! King: King: ok Musk: da complete madman, he order da milk! King: yeah ok i gathered that much

Musk: he order da milk! dats SO BASED King: i don't get it Musk: see, da milk itsa neo-nazi code forra da supremacy offa da white race King: King: King: i really don't want to be here

King: i think i'll be going now Musk: notta so fast, stephano king! Musk: da tesla diner issa just lika a real tesla! Musk: da doors are-a locked froma da outside! Musk: ha ha ha! Musk: anna da windows are-a bulletproof so [window instantly shatters] Musk: Musk: it Musk: itsa not supposed to do that

[at the campfire] Poe: so how was your dinner with Elon Musk? King: strange and off-putting Poe: yeah that scans King: i'm just glad that joe wasn't there King: oh no! King: i just remembered Poe: what? King: instead of joe, i brought owen! King: i left owen at the tesla diner!!

Poe: you left your son at the tesla diner? King: tabitha's really gonna let me have it now! King: in theory, i need to go back and save him! [at the tesla diner lost and found] Owen King: i'm sure my dad will be back anytime now Owen King: in the meantime these lonelygirl15 onion rings aren't bad