Midnight Pals: No Politics (Patreon)

[at space coven] Andy Weir: beep boop submitted for the approval of the space coven, i call this the story of the martian Weir: it is a story about the cold triumph of science, with no distracting theme or motif Weir: only science Weir: beep boop

Weir: i will use this story to convey the following scientific facts to you Weir: (1) the atmospheric co-efficient of Mars Weir: (2) the tangent cosign of the hypotenuse of space Weir: (3) the importance of STEM Weir: (4) the langitudinal curve of space-time squared Weir: beep boop

Jule Verne: but andy, don't you see? stories can be about more than cold facts! Weir: beep boop Weir: prognosis negative Weir: further input required Weir: explain data Verne: theme and motif can communicate the ineffable experience of being human Weir: ERROR ERROR THAT SOUNDS LIKE POLITICS ERROR

Verne: through the medium of story, we can truly achieve human connection and plumb the true depth of humanity! Verne: now a lot of people think that 20,000 leagues under the sea is just a story about a cool submarine Verne: but it's actually much, much more Weir: does not compute

Verne: it's about what it means to be part of the brotherhood of man Verne: it's about life and loss and love! Weir: what is this love you speak of Verne: oh andy Verne: how can i describe love Weir: why are your ocular orbs leaking Weir: are your circuits in need of repair

Verne: do you understand what i'm saying? story is about meaning Weir: i liked the part where they fought the squid Verne: oh yeah everyone likes that part HG Wells: it was pretty cool Wells: andy's on to something there

Verne: how can i communicate the ineffable magic of story? Verne: if only there was someone whose whole bit was pontificating about the nature of story Verne: that would be a very useful person to have around in this situation

Robert Heinlein: forget these losers, andy, i've got a story that you'll really enjoy! Heinlein: it's about marines in space! and they have guns! Heinlein: [finger guns] pew pew pew pew! Heinlein: pew pew pew! pew pew! Verne: ok rob you've made your point Heinlein: I'M NOT DONE YET

Weir: beep boop i-i Weir: what is this strange sensation Weir: i feel Weir: i feel an emotion Weir: i feel like space marines shooting guns is totally badass Heinlein: eh? eh? see? Heinlein: you're welcome

Weir: beep boop i have always enjoyed escapist science fiction that is devoid of deeper meaning Weir: like the classic star trek Weir: harlan ellison is so good at that beep boop HG Wells: oh no Harlan Ellison: I WILL MURDER YOU AND EVERYONE HERE