Midnight Pals: Slop Continues (Patreon)

Poe: this slop is insufferable!Poe: if only there was an auteur to save us!Darren Aronofsky: did someone call for an auteurPoe: oh thank god!Aronofsky: have you ever thought about the good things about slopPoe: oh my godPoe: they got to you too!

Aronofsky: you know how it isAronofsky: you get a new tool you immediately gotta try it out on some founding father shit

Aronofsky: you know that patented uncanny lifeless humunculi that mock humanity by their very existence?Aronofsky: my theory is that people want more of thatAronofsky: and they especially want it used to tell didactic slogs about the founding fathers

Aronofsky: remember how you hated history class back in school?Aronofsky: well, get ready to hate it all over again!Aronofsky: it's Darren Aronovsky's FOUNDING FATHERSAronofsky: it's 2 hours of craggy dudes in powdered wigs looking at the cameraBarker: ha haBarker: this sucks man

Aronofsky: also what if thomas paine looked exactly like bill maharPoe: ugh! disgusting!King: no!Lovecraft: please noKoontz: keep it away!Barker: ha ha this sucksShelley: i am going to kill youAronofsky: and Benjamin franklin looked like a syphilis zombieShelley: ok that's probably accurate tbh

Mary Shelley: this all is too muchShelley: i'm gonna start stabbingPoe: mary! there's too many of them!Poe: you can't stab them all!Shelley: just fuckin watch me

King: if only there was a real auteur to save us!Mike Flanagan: i'm still here!King: oh thank godKing: so good to know there's still human creativity in the worldFlanagan: i'm remaking Carrie where the mom is too niceKing:

King: i'm sorry, what?Flanagan: have you considered what if carrie's mom was abusive because she cared too muchKing:King: sure okKing: why the hell notKing: at this point let's do it