Midnight Pals: Not Mad (Patreon)

Matt Shaw: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the saucy gallimaufry Shaw: or as you americans might call it Shaw: the wet vagina Shaw: you think that sounds good huh? Shaw: well just wait til you see the dedication

Shaw: i'd like to dedicate this book to the youtube critic who gave me a one star review Shaw: by the way i am not mad Shaw: don't put it in the newspaper that i'm mad

Shaw: so apparently this youtube critic says i'm not supposed to write stories from a womans perspective Shaw: oh you think you can stop me, all powerful youtube critic? Shaw: I DO WHAT I WANT!

Shaw: I'm so not mad at that trout Shaw: which is apparently an insult we use here in Britain Poe: oh no he's posting through it Barker: posting through it? Barker: he's writing a whole book through it Shaw: AND ANOTHER THING Shaw: i'm not even mad Shaw: in fact i'm laughing

Shaw: so the all-powerful youtube critic is trying to silence me but as a fearless truth teller i cannot be silenced Shaw: i cannot ever be silenced Shaw: even when it might be in my best interest to shut up Shaw: i refuse to yield! Shaw: here i stand, i can do no other!

Shaw: so anyway i wrote a book that that youtube critic is definitely not gonna read Barker: oh look she posted a comment about how she's not gonna read it Shaw: Poe: clive don't tell him that Barker: why not? he said it himself Poe: you know what you're doing clive

Shaw: she says she's not going to read the book?! Shaw: that's fine Shaw: that's totally fine Shaw: I am not mad Shaw: guess she's too scared to come on my podcast Barker: oh you have a podcast? that's unexpected Poe: clive

Shaw: women say men shouldn't write sex scenes Shaw: but actually i'm pretty good at it Shaw: how do i know? Shaw: women send me pictures of themselves masturbating to my sex scenes Shaw: like all the time

Shaw: here's a photo of me posing with some of the pictures that women send me of themselves masturbating Shaw: the pictures of women masturbating are right outside of frame