Midnight Pals: Cars (Patreon)

[at unicorn fuck club]CS Lewis: hey jrrt when are you going to give us another hobbit story?JRR Tolkien: oh you guys liked the hobbit?Lewis: yeah we all loved it! we want more hobbit adventures!Lewis: we need to know what happened to bilbo and the ring after that whole dragon affair

JRR Tolkien: well since you're all so interestedTolkien: i DO have another storyTolkien: about a certain hobbitty little character who has a grand adventure outTolkien: i call itTolkien: the wacky car crashes of mr Bumbles Q. Crash-a-lot!

Tolkien: it's the story of a guy who buys a car and he crashes it all the time!Tolkien: oh ho ho ho!Tolkien: delightfully wacky!Tolkien: those wacky newfangled cars!Tolkien: they're always crashing!CS Lewis: yeah they DO crash a lot

Brian Jacques: [squeaking] i use a roller skate for a car!Tolkien: wait how do you control it?Jacques: [squeaking] i use a silver dollar for a steering wheelTolkien: is that dangerous?Jacques: [squeaking] i use a thimble for a helmet!

Tolkien: our hero decides to buy a motor car so that he can drive around in the modern styleTolkien: much to the chagrin of his pet girabbitTolkien: which is like part giraffe and part rabbitTolkien: like in tenchi muyo

Tolkien: this fellow, he's always getting in trouble because of his carTolkien: like when he gets kidnapped by some bearsTolkien: or has a run in with 4 fat guysJK Rowling: i hate them

Tolkien: so then he crashes his carTolkien: oh it's terrible, it'sTolkien: it'sTolkien: hmmTolkien: is there a word for a bad eucatastrophe?

GRR Martin: are you trying to buy time to finish your big hobbit book by writing a kids story?Tolkien:Tolkien: [hanging head] yeahMartin: haha!Martin: delightly devilish, JRRT! I love it!Martin: oh i uh got a storyCS Lewis: FINALLy some winds of winter!Martin: yeah i call thisMartin: the story of Biggles Bunnyfluff and the Fuzzy Duckling CaperLewis: that's not what we wanted!Martin: TOO BAD