the redman interview (audio) (Patreon)

i will leave the transcript below for those interested. should i film this? or animate it? or a secret third thing? lmk what you think .

ASK MYSELF THE QUESTIONS NO ONE CARES TO

HOST

HELLO TO THE OBSERVING UNIVERSE. MY NAME IS MICHAEL MALACHI MYRTHIL, OFTEN REFERED TO AS THE EARTH ANGEL. I AM HERE TO BRING YOU A SHOCKING DISCOVERY. APPARENTLY ACCORDING TO MY GUEST TONIGHT, EVERYTHING RUNS ON...BLOOD? AM I READING THIS RIGHT? IM SURE WE'RE IN FOR A GOOD ONE FOLKS. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE REDMAN!!!

The audience claps and cheers, and the REDMAN enters. He regards the audience with a nod, then calmly sits down next to the talk show host.

HOST

So redman, we're so glad you could make it to tonights event, why dont you start by telling who you are and what you do.

Redman scoffs and leans back in his chair.

REDMAN

Have you experienced pain, Michael?

The host doesnt miss a beat and simply responds.

HOST

Yeah trying to make it through this interview.

He gives the audience a goofy look and they erupt into laughter. Redman doesnt move, just waits for silence.

REDMAN

And why do you think that is?

HOST

I thought i was the one asking the questions here. But fine ill bite. I think its painful because, no offense, but youre not the most welcoming presence, REDMAN. And you still havent told the american viewer who you are and what you do. So yeah, im a little displeasured because of how you're choosing to act right now.

REDMAN

Because you make less money that way.

HOST

Actually i get paid the same whether you talk or not. No refunds by the way.

Another look to the crowd sends ripples of laughter up the aisle. After a moment, the crowd begins to quiet.

HOST

So, REDMAN, according to TMZ you say you were "Created from the blood spilt by the united states government, and before them the government of the European powers, such as early Britain Colonies," blah,blah. So if i am to understand this you have no mother? You hate women? Whats going on at home ?

REDMAN

Imperialism is defined as the creation of an unequal relationship between states through domination. With the change to a business dominated society in the 1800s i became sentient. I went from a drop of blood, to an ocean. I am born of the blood of a virgin, the blood of the children slain like cattle. The cattle slain like-

HOST

What i really mean to say is, why are you here? You obviously dont like us, or want to be here? Why stay? Why take an interview?

REDMAN

You may not have created me, but my life force is sustained by you indefinitely. As long as I am alive, there will always be money over mothers and idols over worship.

HOST

Sounds fun. Just kidding, obviously. Im intrigued. So you are a being made up of...well, suffering. Unfair suffering. And youve come here to, as i understand it, end the suffering in the world, effectively, ending your life or existence.

REDMAN

The only reason i would ever die is if comfortability goes out of style for revolution. If i were to guess, ill die when the human race is extinct. Or at least lose consciousness.

HOST

So theoretically, you would give your life to end class division in the world. Thats a very adamant cause, theoretically.

The audience claps, pleased with the words they hear.

HOST

So, REDMAN. I take it you're not a trump supporter ?

The crowd cheers and whoops and hollers.

REDMAN

I dont support any puppets. Not even myself. I dont like my music. I suffer when it doesn't heal the world. Thats why im working with you today, Michael. To heal the world.

HOST

Wait don't tell me you're one of those guys who thinks everyone in the white house is a 60 pound lizard with baby eating fangs for sipping blood out of golden chalices cause we...already heard that one. Had chris rock on last week.

REDMAN

Your government could be lizards. They could be aliens. They could be holograms ran by AI for the past 60 years. For all you know i could be connected to your government. Anyone could be connected to your government. I dont think that makes me a lizard, i think it makes me a victim of kidnapping. Stockholm. Even in the schools, they brainwash you. Make dying for your country a sure fire way to get glorified. 20 years later you're sitting in your wheelchair outside at the LAX because you DIDNT die with honor, you made the mistake of surviving long enough to find out what your government does to survivors of trauma. I think thats been proven. Thats far more condemning than lizard teeth. Although i wont argue the baby thing.

The crowd laughs at the last comment until REDMAN holds up a hand to silence them

REDMAN

Let me ask you a question, Michael. Who did you want to be when you grew up?

HOST

Honestly? A trashman. I wanted to do the job no one else did, and get my hands dirty. Those were my heroes, especially growing up in new york you know, all the trash they had to collect, they did swiftly. Maybe they were late or incompetent or whatever, but i always respected the job.

REDMAN

So why did you become a mouthpiece?

MICHAEL

Im sorry?

REDMAN

Why do you only repeat things you know to be right or true? Only things you heard before? How did you end up echoing thoughts others had before you instead of making new connections, entertaining yourself, inspiring yourself. Why do you need reference before you speak?

HOST

I said trash man not psychotherapist man. All history is is a book of facts that are things people heard before. I mean, you can argue almost nothings "new" and everything is derivative of something. Plus i cant afford to be wrong about something and misinform 2 million Americans.

REDMAN

Well that implies we've already created everything we ever need. And that's definitely not the case if you walk in any city on this earth. This is the problem Michael. You make the people rely on you for information, you stop becoming anything less than a book of facts, a quick way to avoid deep processing, real research, mind connections that lead to deeper journeys, not just laughs and witty dialogues. You claim to be unbiased, but how can you be? We were all born with parents predisposed to the system we endure today. Their views became our views as children and we either adopted them or got trapped in a pipeline, or grew into community. Community of proof, proof that the system we use today. This chair, that camera. Its not good. Not for us, not for them. Not for anyone.

HOST

So what does me wanting to be a trashman have anything to do with this?

REDMAN

You didnt want to be a trashman. You looked at them as heroes. You wanted to be a hero, but now you do the speaking for them. You relay their voices. But before, you wanted to be the voice speaking. Now you are comfortable toning yourself down to the network standards, you are happy impressing them. All you care about is your viewers. Less than that, the attention. The admiration. You want it. You want-

HOST

Okay i think we've made me depressed enough for one question.

The audience laughs,the record glitching then cutting out. The lights go out, then open up to a different scene, shot more intimate.

REDMAN

Its just us now. Nobody can judge you. Whats on your mind.

MICHAEL

Ive never had to say this out loud before. Im an attention addicted instagram hoe. I use things like sex and romance as leverage over life. If im in love, i get complacent and happy and i stop wanting to work as hard. That makes some people unhappy, because im not showing up in ways i promised i would

REDMAN

Maybe youre overpromising yourself because you learned the only way people would love you is if you did things for them. You want to keep people around, you do things that benefit everyone, especially yourself. No one likes a self sacrifice but hollywood.

MICHAEL

I want to be great. I think you can help me be that.

REDMAN

You think you could make me an album without first being great? It was a prerequisite to this part of your experience. You want to feel great, and i think i can help you do that.

Redman inches closer to Michael and grabs his hand.

REDMAN

Use me. Ill be your final words. They will be expecting another persona, another creation of self. Show them who this world has tried to turn you into. Show them my reflection beneath every child whos ever tried to make more money than their immigrant parents. Look. You made decisions that were less than smart and impulsive. You hurt people, seriously. You played with the flames of love and got burned more than twice, still eager to put your hand near again. You are adventurous because you know you are infinite. You shouldn't be stuck at the capacity this country puts you in. Imagine if you had the resources of a playboy carti. Imagine if you got medicated for your mental illness. If you saw a doctor every now and again. If you had access to healthcare that you didnt have to fight for. Imagine who you could be. What you could do. Work with me. Lets fight for this. We already fight eachother. Ourselves. Everything in our way. Lets do what we do best. As humans, as couples, as a species. Lets fight to not only survive. But to live, because you should be allowed to.

MICHAEL

It feels impossible. I dont know where i even want to start. This feels like itll only get worse. I was at risk already, now its worse than its been for a while.

REDMAN

I get it, its scary. You know whats scarier though? Bullets grazing by your head, trying to carry water back to a tent thats already been flooded 3 times. You know whats scarier? Waking up to see an infant tied from a tree. You know whats scarier? They love this. This is fun. This is not something to argue for them. This is truth. This is what life is for.

MICHAEL

Sounds like i dont really have an ethical choice to make.

REDMAN

You have exactly one and its to fight back any way you can. I know you're hurt in your personal life. I know you feel like a piece of shit right now, but itll pass. And before it does, i want you to help people, as a piece of shit, while your life is shit. Uplift yourself and anyone who deserves the shine you take for granted.

Simply because people wake up to worse. You will be okay. For better or worse. If you know enough people, you can survive anything.

MICHAEL

Why are my biggest problems always around love? I can get evicted just fine, but the second i feel unworthy, everything slips. Me, slips. I dont know where i fall to. I just feel so-

REDMAN

Dedicate yourself. You are lost and have no anchor. Find something resolute. Something unwavering, unchanging. The revolution is discovered not through a web browser, but through what the soul desires. You crave love because you run on it. We all do. Its all we have to keep us going at this point. If youre not addicted to drugs you're addicted to love. And that might be worse for your health than some weed.

MICHAEL

Im not gonna make it. This hurts too much, it hurts to imagine the worst possible outcome. I feel like im running from it.

REDMAN

Through it. Youre running through it. Helping people will get you connected to yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. Your suffering takes place in the mind. Between that and the mold poisoning, id say you have a lot of soup kitchens to visit.

MICHAEL

Why doesnt it feel better.

REDMAN

Delayed benevolance. Processing. Its past 9pm.

MICHAEL

Oh shit, the crowd. Have they been-

REDMAN

Listening, yes. This is for someone else as well.

MICHAEL

The universe is weird.

REDMAN

The only truth remained constant.

MICHAEL

Howd you like the interview? I was going for a tucker carlson vibe

REDMAN

Ew.

(laughs)

Dont do it again.

MICHAEL

Haha okay. Hey, Redman Whens the album dropping?

Redman has vanished.