studying together... but i can’t focus on anything but you (Patreon)

books and notes are everywhere, stacked, open, flipped over like we are actually coming back to them. we have been at this for hours, but my brain tapped out a while ago. you are still locked in, too focused to notice, so i tell you to take a break. you barely react, just shake your head, and for a second, i think about letting it go. but i don’t. i say it again, more insistent this time, and finally, you glance up. we go back and forth, you arguing there is still so much to do, me reminding you none of it will stick if you're burnt out. eventually, with a sigh, you close the book. now, for the first time in hours, i actually have you here with me. my heart kicks up, not because i am exhausted, but because i have been waiting for this moment without even realizing it. i spent so long thinking i would know when the time was right, but looking at you now, i get it. the time was never going to decide this for me. i just have to say it.