when you hear the razor (Patreon)

i saw myself in the mirror this morning and felt it was reasonable to take matters into my own hands. you disagreed. i don’t even know how you heard me turn on the razor. the second i turned it on the bathroom door flew open and there you were, standing incredulous that i would even dare to consider touching my own face. the razor was removed from my hand before i knew what was going on and you were out the door. i chased after you to negotiate the fate of my own beard, fully knowing i’d already lost. i know how stubborn you can be, but i can be just as stubborn. the only thing i didn’t count on, which i completely should have, is how adorable you are, and how much you would use that to your advantage to get exactly what you want.