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our three am talks (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-14 07:21:30
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

why do we always get into these deep heavy conversations at this hour? i never mind but it's always on nights like tonight we get into this stuff.

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Comments

Aiza🩷🌸

Getting blessed with audios today❤️

kayla

Why did I think you were done for the night?

maia

It might be 9:30am, but when K says it's 3am then it is 3am and we're having deep heavy conversations

renee💌

Okay so I'm new to the patreon and tell me why I didn't know he posts so frequently?? this is the best omg I never wanna leave😭

A girl has no name

I love the pillowtalk audios, they feel so domestic 🥹🤌🏼

Kickis

I have this tattoo that says (loosely translated) "Life works out". And it always does - no matter how dark it gets there's always a sunrise. And this audio made me cry. 🥹❤️

PrincessToki

I love this! Our perfect Knight in shining armor to the rescue 🤍

Bed_full_of_Crumbs

It really helps me to just hear someone tell me to keep holding on ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Rose

😮🥺💖❤️💖😭 I paused halfway through and I’ve been writing for an hour…. 🥺🌟🥺💖🥹❤️

moonx ☾

cried a lot with this one cause today was terrible. at the end, I'm all by myself but this audio made me feel not so lonely.

Rose

🥺❤️💖😭 I actually have 1 white hair, I saw it once a couple years ago, and then once the other day (much grown), is that the source of all my wisdom? :/ Happiness is so precious because it’s not always there. The moments without it let us appreciate it. They show us how valuable happiness is, how special. They teach us to strive for those happy moments, and show us how much they truly matter. Happy moments are a gift. They are worth everything. And pain has a purpose, it will shape you into something even more beautiful if you let it. <3 I know, for me, I’ve struggled so much with self-love and self-loathing, but a lot of work and a lot of courage has finally culminated in change. I’m coming out the other side of my trauma and my failures, and I don’t hate myself anymore. I’m not drowning in regret anymore. Because this person I’m becoming is so much more beautiful than the girl that went into this world unscathed. She learned what it means to be human, and then to become something greater. I’m reminded, in this moment, of a quote by Ernest Hemingway. “In order to write about life, first you must live it.” ❤️ Pain has a purpose, and when you find that, you find peace. I am a better version of myself today, in so many ways, than I ever could have dreamed of when I was younger. Yes, I am still struggling with a lot of things I once balanced so easily, including self-care and figuring out my external world, but my internal world is so much vaster and more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. Like marble, my soul has been shaped into something far greater. Where there was once storms and fear and darkness, there is now light. Life. Hope. I have survived unspeakable things. Where I was once controlled by fear of everyone and everything, in the end my trauma led me to finding my freedom…. Because when you’ve endured your greatest fears and survived, and done the work to heal and come out the other side, there is no place left for fear. It simply fades away. Loss is pain, but much as the trees shed their leaves to survive and endure and grow anew, there is beauty and purpose as parts of you are ripped away, until it seems that nothing is left. Life is as much about unbecoming who you are not, as it is about becoming who you were meant to be. The agony I felt as parts of me were carved away is fading as I now look at my soul’s reflection and see beauty where there was once a smooth surface. A blank untouched canvas now covered in colour and life. An empty page now full of words and lessons. There is no art without emotion, no story without sacrifice, no life without pain. We are made to become human, and then perhaps to transcend it. We were meant for this. This journey. That is why we are here. And, perhaps, sometimes, we were meant to find each other…. 🥺💖 There is a term I heard so long ago, that now resonates so deeply with me as I look back over my life. Butterfly soup. When caterpillars build their cocoons, it’s hard to imagine that they fully understand the transformation that they’ve begun. Unlike other metamorphic processes, butterflies don’t shed their skin, and burst forward from their old form, evolved and grown. A caterpillar literally melts within its cocoon. It becomes a formless sea of deconstructed fragments, raw potential, chaos barely held together by the walls built around it. It unbecomes everything it was, so that it may become everything that it was meant to be. It is unborn a caterpillar so that it may be born again a butterfly. Born anew. True death and rebirth. Perhaps that is a process very few of us will ever understand. I know, so many years ago, I thought I understood. I thought I knew everything. But I have found oceans where there were once tide pools, and watched as shallow cracks opened into worlds beneath worlds. I am not who I was. And I am, genuinely, so grateful. I am grateful for everything that I’ve survived, and everything that I’ve become. And I am so grateful to finally understand why. I feel myself pulled in certain directions like gravity, but where there was once fear and resistance - the fear that I could never be happy, the fear that I could never be enough - there is now, in equal or greater measure, peace and trust and love and comfort. It feels so right, so familiar. We were made to live all our dreams. Our souls are called by them. I have become a butterfly. I’m breaking through the last of the walls I’d built around me, freeing myself and letting the light it. I trust the process, and I’m ready to fly when I feel the wind blow softly on my face, guiding me to where I need to go. Guiding me home. There is beauty in all that’s happened, for it all had purpose. 💖 So I trust, and let go, and wait patently for the time where I say, “There isn’t a single moment of my life I would change, because all of it led to this.… 🥺💖”

Rose

Something else I wanted to say, as someone else who’s always lit themself on fire to keep everyone else warm, and almost succumbed to the flames more times than I can count…. There is a quote I’ve been working to internalize the last few years, that literally saved my life. “It’s okay if you can only save one person. And it’s okay if that person is yourself.” You’ve saved so many people K, so many lives. You saved me when no one else could, not even me. 🥺💖 You brought me light and hope and warmth and love into my life when I had forgotten what they felt like, you taught me how to love again when all I knew was suffering and sacrifice. You have one life to live. Don’t be afraid to live it. You believe wholeheartedly that everyone deserves love, that everyone deserves happiness, that everyone deserves to be saved. You are part of everyone. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be happy. Let yourself be saved. You’ve saved everyone else already. Choose to save yourself now without guilt, because you do deserve it. 🥺💖🫂 All these stories we write to give our lives meaning in the eyes of the world… but the most important story we will ever work on is the one we’re living. It is the greatest gift we could receive. Make it happy. Make it yours. Make it everything you’ve ever wanted. You have the power to change your entire life. And you should - lovingly shape it into everything you want. 🥺💖 And if want a blessing from outside, I give it now, freely. Every part of you deserves love, and every part of you deserves self love. Love yourself from the inside as you would from the outside. Let yourself believe you deserve happiness, because there is not another soul on this earth you would want it denied from. Let yourself understand that like everyone else, you are human. And that’s okay. <3 We are all flawed. We are all learning and growing. We are all on a journey. Let yourself receive the love you give so freely, so naturally. Let yourself see just how beautiful you truly are. If you’re too close to the elephant, look through my eyes. <3 💖 They see pretty good after Lasik ;) 🤭🤭❤️ Trust yourself, trust your journey and trust the universe. Trust that when you fall… you’ll fly…. 🦋💖

Rose

Also, this is so beautiful and so sweet and… 🥺❤️💖🥲 You’re too hard on yourself, I think you’re perfect in every way that really matters 🥺💖❤️

Cassafrass207

Deep in the feels with this one. 🥺 I read something recently that resonated with me- I don't mind being alone. I'm good at being self sufficient. What I hate is *feeling* alone. Adopting that mindset has shifted a lot for me.

Andrea C

God dammit. The FEELS. Everytime

Carolina

Please make more of these, hits me in my feels! ❤️🥺

Aiza🩷🌸

I’m so appreciative of this audio K. It’s really beautiful and it hits right in the heart❤️ I’m glad I came back here, it feels so safe✨

moya aurelia

listening to this at three a.m really hits different… such a beautiful audio

tanya.

this is probably my all time favourite audio from you, K. one of the first i heard. if there was one audio out there i could buy, download and keep in my pocket forever, it would be this one. to stay with me through the decades... making its imprint on my jeans like any worn, loved object does. haha. okay, what i want to say is ”please let us buy audios”. not all of them. just the ones you choose.