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Stick around to the end to hear why Eli's probably not allowed in Morocco anymore.(At the request of a few patrons, and upon realizing that it really only delays the release of the episode by a couple of minutes, I'll be adding the show notes to the Patreon release from now on.)

Show Notes:

In this week’s episode, Christians will take their balls and go home, Heath’s opening bullet point will get cut from the intro because it refers to a story we decided to push to next week and that’ll make the intro sound weird, and Steve Anderson is reminded that in Ireland, they drive out the snakes.

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To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat

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To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

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Guest Links:

Check out the Gaytheist Manifesto here: https://www.queersplaining.com/category/episode/

Check out the Happy Munday podcast here: 

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Headlines:

Christians freak out about Brian Sims: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/07/conservatives-livid-after-pa-lawmaker-notes-anti-abortion-protesters-hypocrisy/

Catholic League says Sims filming abortion protesters needs a criminal probe: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/09/catholic-league-pa-lawmaker-filming-abortion-protesters-needs-criminal-probe/

MAGA cultist says Sims must "suck a dick" to prove to me that he's gay: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/11/maga-cultist-pa-rep-brian-sims-must-suck-a-dick-to-prove-to-me-that-hes-gay/

Christian hate-preacher Steven Anderson has been banned from entering Ireland: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/13/christian-hate-preacher-steven-anderson-has-been-banned-from-entering-ireland/

Christian school quits athletic conference for letting trans kids do sports

https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2019/03/22/maryland-high-school-leaves-athletic-conference-over-transgender-policy/?utm_term=.8ac99a4d6f14

ND man pleads guilty to jacking off into church’s baptismal font: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/08/nd-man-pleads-guilty-to-masturbating-in-churchs-baptismal-pool-during-mass/

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This Week in Misogyny:

Alabama abortion law: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/15/alabama-abortion-bill-georgia-abortion-ban-heartbeat-law/3676635002/

Lori Alexander laments girls getting good test scores: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/11/christian-mom-its-a-travesty-that-girls-are-outperforming-boys-academically/

Pastor rapes 14 year old, gets lenient sentence because he’s a pastor: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/05/15/pastor-who-raped-adopted-14-y-o-daughter-gets-lenient-sentence-due-to-his-faith/

Comments

Tashbee

So happy I became a patron.

Tashbee

❤Carl & Callie

Mother pheasant plucker

Pencil numbers refer to core hardness (bigger number = harder). Harder pencils are generally lighter. The reason for not #3 is basically that it might be too light for the Scantron to pick up.

Mother pheasant plucker

As for crazy "greatest Mormon spirit/intelligence" stuff. I was taught that everything has a spirit (like rocks) and spirits are made of intelligences... Or something. IDK, it's a lot like mediclorians, something diehards like to debate and that everyone else is left wondering "what the fuck?"

JCS

I think Joey was also experimenting with magic mushrooms at the time he wrote the PofGP.

Siân

Please can you update your show notes with the link to the science behind M-F transgender athletes having no advantages over natal women? Thanks.

Mother pheasant plucker

Also, about them being black, that wasn't a coy hint. Cainan == Cain == black. (Moses 7:8, 7:22). Joe was saying "Egyptians aren't white because they race mixed". Fun? fact one second hand account of a JS Revelation by a high ranking member had him saying it was basically ok for js to fuck native Americans because that was how God was going to remove the curse of Cain... IE, make them white.

Stuck In Alabama Send Help

Jewish dude plus uncomfortable wife in an airport is going to end really badly for any customer service person unfortunate enough to exacerbate the problem... they snap like Winter Solider hearing the code words.

Markus D

It's a bit more complicated than that. That's the rule for "H" pencils, but HB pencils are roughly in the middle of the scale of hard (H) and black (B), and when it goes into the B pencils, the higher number is softer, but blacker. I don't know if you knew this already but I wanted to add it just in case.

Jodie

And now Missouri, the fucked up state I live in, has an abortion ban law being signed that is just like Alabama's. I am happy that I am (recently) sterilized and will not have to worry about it, but my heart aches for all of the women that will be affected by these shit laws.

Patrick Jackson

That airport story was the greatest thing I've heard in a long time and I can't thank Eli enough for bringing that to my hearing holes today.

Julie Wine&Reason

Eli's Moroco story is so hilarious. I'm at work, on a break, and had to hold in laughter that was coming out of my eyes in the form of tears as the HR lady walked by...it was really hard.

Kernan Coleman

The Morocco story. Holy. Shit. Eli is made of comedic titanium.

William Evan Barnes

Eli, you're my fucking hero. I absolutely love that, and I hope you don't mind if I bust that out the next time I've spent 5 hours at the DMV just to be told to go away and do the forms all over again because they don't know how to deal with white-out technology

Kitsunelaine

Just wanted to say, as a trans woman, thanks for the Carl the Pugapegacorn bit in this episode. It's a lot better than certain... other, reactions to this sort of thing. And it gives bigotry no quarter. You guys made it so clear. That's incredibly important to me.

MelfromHell

I just thought you should know I used to attend Grace Brethren Christian School (10th & 11th) and was under their "homeschool umbrella program" for 9th & 12th grade. I graduated in 2016, and yes, everything was as terrible as you think it was.

Chris Carr

“...the hero that Casablanca needed...” OMG I just about herniated myself.

Stuck In Alabama Send Help

*red state solidarity fist bump* I’m stuck in Alabama (for now) and planning the C-section/tube removal combo. I’m going to keep them in a jar on my desk with a nice decorative bow.

Jodie

LOL. I didn't go for that option, but now I kind of wish I had!

Ramiel

I went to Grace as well. I was there for 13 goddamn years. I graduated in 2008 and I can't imagine it got any better

Gogo the Game Mistress

Was it just me that thought it was really mean to a) take out the anger and frustration at a customer service person in a developing country b) while using scabs during a union strike?

Sarah Amber

You damn near killed me with the Morocco story. The BALLS OF STEEL on you, Eli. I was thinking of this Run the Jewels lyric the entire time: "...But maybe you should be careful when flipping a stranger's switch. When 'nothing to lose' is a step up, then everything's 'for the win.' ...So we grin in the face of frauds, and tell monsters to suck our dick."

Eli

Holy shit that airport story. I had to stop walking and crouch down to cry laugh

John Lewis Oliverio III

I almost rode off the side of the road I was laughing so hard at the Morocco story.

Lamya R

omg guys ... i died ... laughing ... in a puddle on a morrocan floor right now .. i'd have loved to see that live ... also ,please NEVER go with RAM .. never ... good pilots , horrible customer service >< ..

Jeremy Kerwin

Okay, I gotta know.. What was Anna's reaction to Eli going full character at the airport.