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Episode 360 Script (Patreon)

Published:
2020-01-09 05:27:38
Imported:
2026-06

Content

And yes, the song lyrics are included. More or less. The poem they were based on is included, but Anna made some slight changes to fit it into the rhythm.

Files

Scathing Atheist 360 Script

Scathing Atheist 360: The "Through a Glass Clearly" Edition Players: Eli Bosnick Heath Enwright Noah Lugeons Lucinda Lugeons Don Ford, Voice of Fantasy and Adventure Anna Bosnick Warning: This episode contains material that may not be suitable for children. Seriously. We're gonna be quoting ...

Comments

Taru Tikkanen

Woo! Both a song, and Don Ford, Voice of Fantasy and Adventure. Awesome!

Ann Pollard

Can we get Anna's song? On her next CD, maybe? Willing to pay! You're right. She's too good for us. That was hugely amazing.

Ann Pollard

And how far is it from Don's 2nd floor window to Teresa's roof?

Spacecat

Use dental dams instead of condoms. Also i will be happy to do the math for you if you give me the height of the launch, the height of church and the distance between them. Might be easiest to launch from your roof. I can explain more in an email about how to get the height of the roof without having to go talk to them. (I’m an electrical engineer how loves doing Newtonian physics).

Jason K

With a 7kg main spring and a lot of replacement parts on my Nerf retaliator rifle, I can fire a Nerf dart from my workshop (in the rear-most area of my backyard), over my 2-story house, and into the road in front of my front yard which is about 42 meters away according to google earth. I don't know if that helps but perhaps with the help of Orange Mod Works who made all of the modified parts, it could be adapted to fire a condom. Perhaps wrap the condom over the end of the barrel and let the dart catch (snug into, remove, and fly with) it and send it soaring onto the roof of the church?

Jason K

Also, as a patron, would it be okay if I share Anna's song as a way to entice people to listen to the podcast?

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Anna's version of the lyrics, as best as my partner and I can tell (including the last verse missing here). Joshua, oh Joshua, that genocidal idol, The baddest motherfucker that we’ve met yet in the bible. He’s like biblical Batman, if Batman killed babies. Imagine Wolverine with adamantium rabies. He said "chop off your foreskin" and people actually do. He’s like a Jedi in that his story isn’t factually true, Like Superman he’s invincible; he wins every battle; But unlike the man of steel, he kills the women and cattle. He’s the Hulk but with Thor’s hammer and a magical ark. The Sun needs his permission before it’s allowed to get dark; Like a bronze age Jackie Chan, he's always up to some shit, Like his notorious chorus of nuclear trumpets. He’s the bible’s Bruce Lee but with triple the skill; He never met an innocent bystander that he didn’t kill. With a swipe of his sword he could knock the wings off a gnat; He could take out all four ninja turtles and a mutant rat. As you learn about this guy, it’s not hard to conclude; That Chuck Norris impregnated the Dos Equis dude. He’s admirable and lovable and strong and heroic, As long as you haven’t updated your morals since the Paleozoic. Joshua, Oh Joshua, Moses finally died, So you could have the position that you'd so long been denied. You served bravely as Vice Jew but the time’s come, at last, After too many decades of kissing god’s ass, To take the baton and lead the army of the Jews, After all, there are Canaanites in need of abuse. You served god well scouting and not being honest; So you’ll lead the Hebrews to the land that god promised. Your ambitions are grand, your intentions extortionate; So with god-given powers of land reapportionment; You’ll be crossing a river but you won’t need a float; When god’s done with that shit, you’d have to carry your boat. Where to go? Jericho. Yeah, I hear they’ve got hookers. You promised not to kill Rahab and she’s quite a looker. You might as well though, since you’re killing all gentile chicks, And there’s no way those Jewish princesses are sucking your dick. Joshua, oh Joshua, the legend ascends, The way you massacre, exterminate and ethnically cleanse, You’re the bravest, the strongest, and usually the smartest, Except when dealing with Gibeons; those fucking con-artists. Hanging kings, and burning towns, your army sets forth, From Achan to Ai they're continuing north. Killing children to show what a shit you don’t give; But showing occasional mercy by letting animals live. With the slightest of setbacks, your conquest succeeds, Ensuring that millions will boast of your deeds. You’re a legend, a lion, a genuine stud; They took your milk and honey and you took their blood. Joshua, oh Joshua, that genocidal idol, The baddest motherfucker that we've met yet in the bible. You would expect him to go out in a battle of ten thousand men, But he died blissfully at home at 110.

Jason K

I cut out the song and put it to video, sort-of karaoke style but with funny (punny) background images and filler video during the 16 bar music break. I'd love to get a private YT link of the video to her for feedback if that's possible. Can you help with that?