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In this week’s episode, the Catholic Church is worse than even the CATHOLIC CHURCH imagined, Matt Powell pwns Tom Sawyer by whitewashing a fence for him, and Andrew and Thomas will be here to legitimately open a few arguments.

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Guest Links:

Check out Andrew and Thomas on The Opening Arguments Podcast

Hear Noah on this week’s episode of Cognitive Dissonance.

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Headlines:

Supreme Court Rules That CA Can’t Ban Indoor Church Services: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/06/supreme-court-ca-cant-ban-indoor-church-services-even-to-prevent-covid-spread/

Report from German Archdiocese Admits Nuns Once Sold Orphans to Sex Predators: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/03/report-from-german-archdiocese-admits-nuns-once-sold-orphans-to-sex-predators/

TX Woman sues, claiming forced ultrasound would interfere with her Satanic abortion ritual: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/07/tx-woman-a-forced-ultrasound-would-interfere-with-my-satanic-abortion-ritual/

Democrats Reject GOP Attempt to Say Pledge of Allegiance at Judiciary Meetings: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/05/democrats-reject-gop-attempt-to-say-pledge-of-allegiance-at-judiciary-meetings/

Jeep ad in Superbowl can go fuck itself: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/08/jeeps-super-bowl-ad-urged-us-to-find-the-common-ground-of-christian-nationalism/

A Humanist Leader Is Stepping Down and Hoping a Person of Color Will Replace Him: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/05/a-humanist-leader-is-stepping-down-and-hoping-a-person-of-color-will-replace-him/

Matt Powell made another monkey surfing video: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/02/this-creationists-awful-short-film-claims-scientists-believe-in-surfing-monkeys/

Muslim Cleric: People have been gayed with the vaccine: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/09/islamic-cleric-people-who-got-the-covid-vaccine-have-become-homosexuals/

Comments

Nuke-You-Lar

This is my first week as a patreon and I can't wait for Noah to read my name

Michelle C

My condolences to Heath and his family.

JCS

Yup. Vidangel is a mormon's wet dream.

Kevin

Ads in the body of the show??

that 9 fingered lesbian

The Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged bit made me fucking cackle. I've gotta stop listening to this show when my wife is asleep next to me, because "Noah made a Hitchhiker's Guide reference" is apparently not a valid reason to have woken her up. Oh well, worth it.

Nuke-You-Lar

They put it off until next week. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

that 9 fingered lesbian

If it helps, I saw your comment earlier and I thought of you specifically when Noah mentioned it being postponed. So... it's almost like he said your name anyway? 😅

Nuke-You-Lar

Thanks, but don't worry. I can wait a week, I was just memeing

Duff Dyer

Now that I've cleared the tears of laughter from my eyes, someone please please point this non-lawyer to where I can find the text of the SCOTUS quote about twat.

Fix the Vote

I want to type an angry email so badly now...damnit Andrew lol

Vega T Zapper

Ah..Iiiiiiiiit's Heath's back day!!!

Sami Marie

Quick note, I think actually if someone were to create a company that adds cussing and gay sex to David AR White movies that would be covered under parody laws. Plz correct me if I'm wrong but I remember something about Dumb Starbucks proving that it can and has been done. So.... Someone make this happen?!

Julie Wine&Reason

I'm so happy Heath's back! The "Iiiiiiiiiiittttttttt'ssss Thursday" has never sounded better!

Patrick Carr

Condolences to Heath and his family. And in the Muslim medicine story, at first I thought Noah said “violent oil up the ass.”

james devine

Springsteen was arrested for DWI November. Too good.

William Evan Barnes

I'm disappointed, Noah. You should know that Agrojag was the entity that Arthur Dent kept killing in all his incarnations, which included a pot of petunias and a rabbit, while Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged was the alien who made it his immortal life's work to insult every sentient creature personally. However, I was waiting and hoping that you would make that reference, so you still get all the points! Also, have you read Stephenson's new book? It's so fucking good

Rev. Random VanGogh

No bullshit? I wouldn’t subscribe to ImpureFlix, but I’d exploit the hell out of its trial period(s).

M. Roberts

I literally spit water on my windshield when Eli roasted Seth. Holy shit, I was belly laughing in my car like an insane person.

Kevin

Please direct me to Andrew's OA ep where he roasted Socialism???!!!???!!!

Samael Magne

I would tOtes signup for ImpureFlix! As long as they also did some FightClub Shit & slice in a raunchy reel in something so as to have it sublimely seered into your brain & superimposed onto your rena when you blink or close your eyes. They could do their Billionaire Movie Remakes on their from God Awful Movies the Guys are always saying they wish they could do.

Kristine VanRaalte

Feeling sad for Heath as others on this thread have stated. Our hearts go out to Him and his family.

Alextomcool

I would just like to point out that, while Curt Schilling and his company, 38 Studios, Is bad... Kingdoms of Amalur isn't terrible.