Master of the Hoard, Chapter 5 (Patreon)

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it - unknown

To say that the Talpi village was underwhelming would be a lie. 'Non-existent' was more like it. They'd done a decent job of hiding it though. First we had to follow a tunnel that, according to Aelis, used to be a dead end. You'd have to climb the large rock at the end of the tunnel to find the seemingly natural opening behind it. The small passage that continued onwards held nothing of importance, but did branch out several times. Of course it was a tight fit for me and I was still struggling to get used to having my wings folded out of the way. The majority of these had, according to Aelis, been crafted by the Talpi, going on for a long way before ending as dead ends, most of them rigged to collapse. Five minutes of walking had us looking down at a couple of dozen Talpi engaged in various activities in a large open earthen room.

Confused, I turned to my tiny companion. "Where's the village?"

"This is it, Sire."

"But - you have no buildings." I let my gaze walk over the Talpi eating, napping, working - oh, fornicating too, nice touch - in the dirt. "Almost no tools either. Don't you know how to build or construct?"

Aelis bared her teeth for a moment before hiding it away again. So she did have a temper - good to know. "We have had buildings. Once long ago. We have also been forced to abandon our territory six times since I was born. We are among the lowest of the low, barely surviving as it is, and cannot take the chance to start excavating too much for fear that the sound attracts predators. So yes, this is all. Sire."

A wave of anxiety shot through the passage when the news arrived that I was here, and soon everybody was gathered in the middle of the village, looking up at me with undisguised fear. The smell of terror was overwhelming.

"Go ahead and tell your kin that I intend them no harm. Oh, and you might think I'm looking down on you right now, but you not having a real home is actually a good thing. I get it, I'm not making any sense. I'll explain it to you later. For now, we've got some work to do. Where's the place with the soulless ones?"

She guided me back toward one of the earlier tunnels and we entered. This one had been dug a bit larger than the others and I didn't have to watch myself as carefully. Talpi didn't exactly account for somebody my size. When I said as much, Aelis showed off her sharp teeth in a dangerous smile.

"Yes, Sire. We did that on purpose. The theory being that whoever went in might do as our digger did and investigate. Here we are now." She indicated the end of the tunnel which terminated with a large opening, leading in a steep drop towards the tiled floor below.

Cautiously, I moved closer, ready for anything. I relaxed a bit, as I saw the situation. The digger had managed to carve into the top corner of a large hallway, as evidenced by the large pile of loose earth on the floor below. Everything seemed to be calm and the tiled floor below was covered in dirt and dust. The dust had clearly been disturbed in places, however. Also, the smell... "How could your digger have missed that stench?"

She looked embarrassed at the question. "We are not sure. Our shaman believes that the flawed souls remained inactive farther inside the place until disturbed and the smell did not reach this far. She could simply have been distracted by the thought of finding a proper home, however."

"Alright. It's not important either. Tell me what I'm up against." As I listened, I scanned the room again. It was a long, rectangular room, bereft of any items or decoration - or maybe there would be something beneath the layers of dust and dirt. Still, I would hazard a guess that the place had lain undisturbed for decades. Not centuries, however. I'd had my fair share of work on private residences that had been allowed to fall into disrepair over time and this... this, I could work with. The distance to the other end of the hallway was several hundred feet and it was wide enough that I’d be able to turn comfortably without hitting the walls.

"We are not completely certain. Pieyil only arrived to watch the later end of the struggle and the scene was disturbing. He described them as 'swarming' over her body. The souls were experiencing heavy states of decay. Some still had flesh on their bones, but a few were down to their skeletons. Numbers are not Pieyil's strong suit."

"I guess I'd be hard pressed to do a proper head count in his situation as well. Anything I should know about them then? Do they have any specific poisons or powers? Are they likely to be armed and armored and how large are they?"

"From what Pieyil said, they should be unarmed. From what we know, they hold no powers either. In all aspects, be it strength, size, or martial skills, each of them should be a shadow of you, Milord."

I steeled myself. It was silly, really. There was no need for me to get involved in this and risk my life. I could walk away and nobody would be able to complain. Except... of course I needed this. If I were to actually live life as a dragon, no way in hell was I going to start my rule from a dirty tunnel. Also, I had plans for these tiny muppets and I wanted to get on their good side.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road. You can dig down to me, when I'm done, right?"

"Of course, Sire. I will wait for you here. It is but a matter of minutes."

One of the parts I loved about working in construction: there were plenty of discussions to be had, and it was essential to get your planning right. Still, at a certain point, you had to shut up and get to work. I crept as far as I could towards the hole, judged the distance and leapt down. My descent was anything but elegant and dirt and rocks rained down beside me. Still, I landed on all fours and managed to avoid hurting myself. That was a win in my books. I oriented myself toward the door at the end of the hallway, prepared for anything and waited.

Within moments, sounds arrived. Groans, shuffling and a rapid clacking sound, like beating two wooden sticks together. As implausible as it sounds, the stench got worse, too. It was almost tangible, trying to invade my lungs and start a cough that would never end. Seconds later, however, I'd forgotten everything about the smell as the first enemies moved through the doorway. They were skeletons. They looked exactly like one would imagine - like somebody had removed them from their stand inside the biology classroom, and I had to suppress a snort. Well. As long as the classroom belonged to some squat hunchbacked half-dwarven race. These were definitely not human. At least, there was nothing demonic-looking here. No traces of eldritch magic, glowing eyes or rune-covered scribbles. Fortunately, none of the four skeletons wore weapons or armor. When they saw me, they slowed down and spread out in the hallway so they could approach side by side. "So they do retain a bit of intelligence," I thought. "Crap." Still, I figured it wouldn't be too much, or they'd have picked up anything, even a rock, to be better armed. Knowing that the zombies would be joining me any moment, I decided to go on the offensive.

Immediately, I let out a Deafening Roar aimed at the group. The thundering noise shot forward, enveloping all four - to no visible effect. A disgusted snort escaped me - I'd suspected something along the line, which is why I opened up with the skill. Better to discover it now than mid-combat when I might depend on it to save my neck. Alright, physical violence it was, then. I charged forward at full speed, aiming right at the center pair of the skeletons. Right before crashing into them and exposing my sides to the other two, I executed a move I'd been practicing intermittently the day before. Admittedly, I wasn't going to win any points for innovation, given that this was a move included in every game where you had a dragon to fight. I hit the brakes and turned as fast as possible, adding the momentum to the considerable speed of my tail, letting the tail shoot out behind me in a half-circle at hip height.

My coordination misfired somewhere mid-maneuver and I didn't turn my neck properly, missing the initial result. Still, the clattering sounds right behind me and feelings of impact along my tail were a good sign and I turned full circle to continue the onslaught. The view before me was pandemonium. My enemies were strewn on the ground, fighting to get back up. A number of limbs had separated from their bodies, complicating the process. Deciding that effect trumped style, I pounced on the downed bodies in quick succession, stomping and clawing to separate their heads from their bodies. Flush with adrenaline, I worked furiously with one eye on the door. My tactic seemed to work and I grinned down at the last body, when a stab of pain shot through my neck. Taken aback, I tried to pinpoint the attacker, jumping around the room. Seeing nothing, a second painful impact higher on the neck finally made me realize what had happened. One of the skeletons had somehow managed to grab onto me. Now, he was hanging onto the base of one of my wings like a tick. My flailing attempts to dislodge him failed - he had managed to place himself just out of reach. Groaning in dismay, I closed my eyes and sped towards the wall, slamming myself against the tiles. My head swam, but a rattle near my feet announced my success and I jumped back to locate and end him. There. With satisfaction, I stomped and twisted, crushing his neck bones and ending all fight. Just in time too, as a shuffling horde announced its appearance.

To my surprise, there was no groaning to be had, rather their stench arrived before them, warning me just as efficiently. The smell felt almost like a slap in the face, but I took the chance to move back down the corridor and get a good look at my opponents. Books, games and movies always included the trademark decomposition - even so, I doubted that a necromancer with any pride in his work would let things deteriorate as they had here. Sure, I spotted the occasional looped intestine you always see on film, but that was nothing. Most of them had at least one limb missing and I spotted one zombie who sported not a single arm. Now, that was just sloppy workmanship. While the skeletons had been of the same unknown race, the zombies were a motley crew. There was at least one short, stout figure, still dragging half a rusted breastplate, but the rest of them were unarmed and bipedal. That was all they had in common, however. Size and posture, and in one case, number of limbs, told tales about a diverse set of races inside the mountain.

The zombies, however, did not scare me as much as the background. Behind the doorway, I spotted a huge mass of flesh undulating, and I almost had a heart attack before I realized the huge thing was unable to fit inside.

Surveying the scene, I counted ten zombies inside the hallway and immediately set to work. This time around, I skipped the fancy techniques and abused my two overwhelming advantages: reach and speed. Sprint for the leading zombie on the left, quick swipe for the leg, retreat, switch sides, repeat. I was constantly retreating and dealing damage at the same time. It wasn't a flawless approach. The control of my body I had was far from perfect. I moved too far, overextended and missed my attacks. On top of that, while the zombies were glacially slow, they were also resilient and I took the occasional hit. Still, I did manage to keep from being boxed in and managed to hobble two zombies and end another with a lucky headshot. There's a reason kiting has always been a favorite in games - it works. Even so, the zombies had managed to corral me back to the end of the hallway.  I took a deep breath and took off. Accelerating to full speed, I feinted left and then ducked my head, barreling straight between two of the zombies.

Perhaps choosing to power through next to the armored zombie was a mistake. Wearing armor did indicate some sort of previous martial ability. I received a powerful blow to my shoulder for my efforts, almost stunning me completely, but I kept on, stumbling onward regardless. With a brief shuddering look at the huge zombie on the other side of the doorway, I turned back to whittling down my pursuit. One more zombie went down, my claw caving in the skull. Another fell to the floor on its own as the damage I'd done to its tendons became too much. I slowly managed to dismantle two more, kiting them back toward the doorway. (Admittedly, with more than a single glance back at the huge undead to make sure that I didn't come within range.) That left only three zombies standing and four left unable to stand, dragging their asses after me. This time around, dodging the bunch and sprinting back to the other end was a piece of cake and the remaining slaughter was a formality.

A couple of minutes later, I was lying victorious at the end of the hall, as far away from the rotten cadavers as possible. My health was resting comfortably at 180/230 but I was going to rest until I was fully healed - no need to tempt fate. Who knew if I would be reincarnated, or whatever this was, again. The zombies had provided me with a nice showering of experience, granting 150 each and the skeletons 100 a pop, leaving me within staring distance at level 4.

I spent a while chatting with Aelis, who asked if they should start digging me out yet. I refused and asked for patience. It took me a few hours, but soon I approached full health and asked Aelis if she could gather the rest of her tribe. I was going to need their help once I'd dispatched Mount Lard and it probably wouldn't hurt having them watch me take him down. As long as I made it, of course. Yeah, there was that. Wouldn’t do to die in front of them, as that might ruin all my plans. Heh.

Marshalling my energy, I spent a while trying to take in what I was up against. There was no way for me to take in the entirety of my adversary all at once - his massive bulk filled the entryway and then some. He was a disgusting specimen, though. Where the original race of other zombies had been apparent, the bulky pile in front of me looked like a huge pile of rotting flesh had been left in the oven for too long until it eventually melted. His huge torso was made of layers upon layers of fat pustulent flesh, and his long, grasping arms seemed too long even for his massive height. As I stared in disgust, he kept reaching through the doorway, even with me at the other end of the hall. At least he was only as clever as your average temp worker. Ha! Now that was funny.

The sound of rocks tumbling to the ground behind me notified me that Aelis had returned with company. A crowd was slowly forming up near the entrance and some of the larger Talpi started expanding the hole into the tunnel so everybody could see. They did not start tunneling downward right away, opting to wait until it was safe. Clever. I dragged a number of the larger pieces of rubble toward me and slung one with full force at the huge form. The piece of rock bounced off the lower belly and the zombie shrugged off the attack with barely a grunt. ‘Alright. Not too effective,’ I pondered, ‘let's try a different approach,’ and moved closer, placing myself just outside his reach. The next hit took a couple of tries before connecting, as dragon claws are not optimal for baseball. With some satisfaction, I watched the large brick sail through the air to impact the zombie's lower leg with a loud 'thunk'.  That one did some damage. Not only did he stagger back a step, I could also see the flesh torn open near the impact, leaving a large gaping sore and a glimpse of the bone beneath. "Bingo," I grumbled, reaching for the next piece of rubble.

As if he had just been waiting for this, the horrid creature shambled sideways, removing himself from my line of sight. I grunted - so there was a limit to his stupidity. How inconvenient. A glance behind me confirmed that the audience was completely focused on my progress - tiny snouts crowded the tunnel opening in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the action. ‘Alright, let's not keep them waiting,’ I thought, inching closer to my foul opponent. Even though I was being careful, there was no actual risk of missing his presence. My senses might be heightened, but even a deaf and blind idiot would still be able to pinpoint the source of the stench billowing from the next room. Currently, he was lurking right behind the doorway on the left side, no doubt waiting patiently to flatten my skull with a huge fist. Behind the doorway, however, I finally got a good look at the room beyond and for a moment I managed to forget about the fight at hand.

Until now, this world had been an incredible experience. Fantastic, dark, dangerous, magical... and ugly. Not a single thing I'd seen so far had been created purely because of the aesthetics. The room in front of me was an exception. As with everything else, the floor was covered in a thick layer of dust and dirt. However, where the dirt had been swept aside from shuffling feet, complex murals peeked through. As for the room itself... even in an evident state of disrepair, the only word that sprang to mind was 'majestic'. The room was huge and rectangular, adorned with two dead straight rows of columns - of the Corinthian order if I was not mistaken. The ceiling was tall, with majestic arches spanning the ceiling on either side of the pillars. If ever I figured out how to use my wings for anything practical, I could envision myself doing lazy circles around the pillars – it was that huge. From what I could see of the remainder of the room, it seemed unadorned except for a huge throne-like structure at the back of the room. For a while, I forgot all about the life and death battle before me, the group of creatures behind me and the entire world filled with combat and magic - all pushed aside by child-like glee. I was so getting my own throne room!

There was no use in getting ahead of myself, however. I wasn't going to get anywhere without taking a risk. I could feel my blood pumping as I hefted a sizable rock and lugged it inside the door to the left. The loud 'clonk' as the rock hit the tiles was followed by a waft of fetid air and the sound of a half-ton mountain of blubber taking the bait and attacking the rock with abandon. I shot through the doorway at full speed, distancing myself from the beast and took in my possibilities while I ran.

Good news? There was plenty of space and pillars allowing me to make use of my speed and agility. Bad news? Damn, but he was huge. End boss-huge here. Maybe not Dark Souls end-boss, but still. As he turned and lumbered towards me, his massive steps ate ground at an alarming rate and his arms were disproportionately long. A Deafening Roar met him face on as he got closer - still no effect, though. Ah, well - worth a try. I took a few practice runs, darting to the side and sprinting past him on the other side of the pillars. As I tried this out, a manic grin grew on my face - not only was the zombie slow at reacting, he also turned slowly enough for me to reach the side before he'd even start his movement. With that, a simplistic battle plan formed in my mind and I set to work. Wait for the bastard to close in. Check the path for obstructions. Feint, spin around and sprint to his side, then launch a swift tail strike at his leg. Miss. Curse. Repeat. I had a few close calls right near the start - that chubby pile of crap had reach! After a few minutes I had my tactics down pat and was running circles around him, laying the pain on the zombie. No close combat, simply tail strikes, in and out. Both his legs were starting to look like the sad remains of a kabob wheel two minutes before closing time. One final strike and it happened - an audible 'crack' had his shinbone splinter and the remaining flesh tore apart, causing the wayward leg to actually split away, spinning across the ground. The mountainous creature slammed into the ground and I roared in triumph.

Preparing for the kill, I set about to finish the fight - circled around to approach his head and launched the hardest tail strike I could, straight at his bald head. Unfortunately, one of his flailing arms caught my tail, held fast, and started pulling me in. Panicking, I threw caution to the wind, leapt forward and pounced upon his hand, ripping and tearing with my claws. I tore one massive finger off, two... and with great distaste lowered my head to bite the rest off.

Pain. Pain shot through my head and I lost all sense of direction, unable to tell up from down. My body hit a wall at an angle and it felt like I tore something in my leg. The dizziness worsened and nausea threatened to overwhelm me until I realized that I was still carrying two of the zombie's bloated fingers in my mouth. Vehemently, I expelled them from my mouth, fighting to keep from vomiting. Still dizzy, I looked around me to see the bloody mess of a meat mountain dragging himself across the floor towards me. Reeling from the disorientation, I fled backwards, resorting to keeping my distance for a while. A minute or two later, my head had cleared and I was able to deduce just how close I'd come to a messy death. The single, massive strike had managed to remove 40% of my health. If I hadn't barely managed to close my teeth over his remaining fingers when his fist connected, I would've been beaten to a pulp. Instead, the daft zombie had actually helped tear the fingers from his hand and save my scaly ass. Shit that was close!

Furious with my near death, I took my time for the next attack. I paced myself, waiting until his remaining hand was far enough back that he'd be unable to reach and then struck with all my might. My tail whistled through the air before connecting with a sickening thunk - and stuck. I might've panicked - except, the moment my tail smashed through his skull, his hideous body slumped to the floor, movement ceasing. It took an application of force from my legs for me to pull my tail back again and the nasty, slurping sound it made upon exit caused me to grimace in distaste. I prodded the sprawled figure a few times, just to be sure, but he remained still. And ugly. And smelly. Damn, he was ripe!

Despite the too close call, a wave of euphoria flushed through me. I'd made it! Hell yeah! I checked my character sheet and whistled. Well, whistled internally, at least. The huge zombie had been worth 2,000 xp, bringing me almost all the way to level 5. I was looking forward to agonizing over where to place my stat points, but first... I had triumphed! Time to savour it, and maybe gloat a little. I turned around (almost tripping over my own tail, smooth, Carl, smooth,) and took in the throne room. Overall, the place looked like an archeologist’s wet dream and was the weirdest mixture between Greek architecture and Romanesque style. Impressive, detailed columns and floor murals with tons of details on one hand, rough stone walls and large arches in the ceiling on another. Perhaps the place had been a work in progress? Several additional doorways promised additional discoveries, but whichever collapse had led to the entry hallway being filled had collapsed one of the doorways as well. Regardless, this place was a wondrous find and my brain was firing on all cylinders, picturing the possibilities. Beyond a doubt, I was looking at my new home. Now, the only remaining thing before I'd be set to take over the world was securing myself some loyal minions - erm, helpers. Yes, things were definitely looking up. My plan looked to have a chance after all!