2025 (Patreon)

2025 was the hardest year of my life. at 28 years old, it feels silly to write a statement so big. i feel a bit like a drama queen to even say so, and i imagine there will be bigger challenges, harder years, in my future. 

i hesitate to share things i’ve been struggling with. partly because vulnerability is uncomfortable, partly because i know that my hard year is nothing compared to others’ hard years, partly because i desire the illusion of “i have my shit together” for my dear followers and supporters (that’s you!). i, ahem, don’t.

i find myself reflecting on the year as a whole, and i fixate on the things that feel Bad™️. i had two major relationships end, one of which had lasted nearly half of my life. later today i’ll return the keys to my studio, which i’ve spent not quite four years pouring my heart and soul into building. i’ve spent the last third of the year poorly managing less-than-great mental health, and lesser-than-great financial stability. 

and amidst this less-than-great, i look back at the vast amount of joy and success i’ve experienced this year. i built new, important relationships and strengthened existing ones. i traveled extensively, i adopted a kitten, i moved into a new, all-my-own apartment. i  made many very hard and very grown up decisions. i sat in my grief, i sat with bad choices from my past, i asked for help even when i really, really didn’t want to. i let go of many things that no longer serve me.

my wish for 2026 is that it’s a gentler year. that it’s filed with joy and adventure and care and pleasure. that’s it’s slightly less absolutely bat shit insane of a roller coaster.  

as always, thank you for being here. thank you for supporting me through the thick and the thin. i wish you a gentle 2026 too ❤️