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Marvelous Mage (Discussion/Critique/Changes) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-04-25 17:16:23
Edited:
2024-10-17 15:56:14
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

SPOILERS FOR BROCKTON BAY'S MARVELOUS MAGE

So, Marvelous Mage is still in its early stages, meaning that there is still time to adjust and shift things around. I want to know what everyone thinks so far about the concept, the powers, the direction of the characters, and anything that you might be thinking.

I am debating doing a re-write, as I feel there is... something missing. At minimum, I will likely be changing how frequently the Marvelous Mage charges come in, because while I don't want the MC to grow too powerful too quickly, two weeks still feels like a long time for now development.

So please, tell me what you think!

Comments

andrew rousseau

It seems ok so far, maybe upping the charges or reduceing cooldown for new charges

True Flame

you could add a mechanic where the MC could gain additional charges by overcoming challenges/resolving conflict, not a conflict drive, but a reward for successfully getting involved. thus giving you the ability to arbitrarily give out more charges as certain unknown milestones are met if you want a faster charge build up.

Robert Meta

That... That's a good idea.... Not a hundred percent certain I'll use this, but I like it.

SpicyGrapeSoda

So from what I understand our MC gains more knowledge on a subject from being more specific and also gains some inherent instincts and muscle memory, so theoretically could our MC use a charge for let’s say mana mastery of a war mage? Having power is important but being able to wield said power better can be a massive improvement. Could he go even more specific and get mana mastery of a lightning war mage?

Robert Meta

It's certainly a possibility, though he wouldn't get any increases in his actual mana levels.

SpicyGrapeSoda

The increase in efficiency and technique might balance that out tho, doing more with less you know?

Dangit889

Will knowledge from these charges start overlapping or will it be something the MC has to develop on his own? Like if he use a charge for Physical Reinforcement Spells will it overlap with his knowledge on lightning magic to gain a heighten speed enforcement spell like a pseudo lightning armor from Naruto.

no-thoughts-only-vibes

i really like rituals and more abstract magic. using the powers of realitybending to imitate a gun is really boring. so i would enjoy creative and abstract uses of magic.

no-thoughts-only-vibes

examples: draw out a mundane copy of yourself from a mirror. Summon a spirit of the concept of mental health to get people therapy. sacrifice all the trash in the city to an outer god that wants souvenirs from our reality. curse the genetic line of multiple generations of a bacterium,killing the it disease causes worldwide. turn loyal animals into magical helpers. create a ritual circle that allows people to sacrifice their skills to get comparetively less skill in something they need. built your own afterlive. stuff like this or weirder would be nice.

Robert Meta

things will very much interact and overlap with each other, we just haven't gotten anything that really matches.

Austin

Seems ok so far but maby a slower rate with the idea of not a conflict drive but being rewarded with more charges for getting involved and more for overcoming hardships. Also with this type of use for the charges and instead of something common like lightning why not use something less common?

Phil Meyering

As far as powers the only thing I think that's really missing is Ward's(Harry potter) and homemaking style Magic(misc). I feel if you're going to build something for your MC at least one or two of those elements is going to be necessary. Everyone needs a pivot. The 2 weeks pacing is a little annoying. If you had phrased his powers as being more intuitive I could see an initial Spurt of powers and then a slow down. However I don't remember that kind of language when you explored it.

TyrTheFallen

I always think that for this type of story the charges should become more expensive as time goes on. For example a mc would get a ability/charge for 2k words then after they have a base to work from make it 3k then 4k and so on.

Louis Kasser

I think it's too early to tell. Geomancy seens nerfed at the moment. I wasn't expecting the MC to make a volcano on top medhall, but outside of absorbing materials for more durablility the skill seems a bit boring.

Robert Meta

Yeah, that's on me. For some reason, when I wrote the description for Geomancy in the vote, my brain just thought it was obvious. Looking back now, I have no idea why I thought that. I will try to give better descriptions of what people are voting on in the future so this kind of thing doesn't happen.