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Elf Commander #03 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-20 19:07:15
Edited:
2026-06-21 07:09:00
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Need help with prood reading again🥹

Files

Comments

cogrunner

I'm betting on that they put this on for show but are super supportive to each other in private

King Crimson

YAY commander thicc ❤ Proofread: English not my native language, keep it in mind. Might be nice to have more proofreading "Our commander and the mayor are fighting again" -> All good. Could be "Commander and the mayor are fighting once again" "Damn, how many time is it now?" -> Could be understand as "Which time/hour it is?". Better change to "Damn, i lost count of their fights" "Heard that they were rivals since ancient time" -> Still rivals. "Heard that they are/they're rivals since ancient times" "Mayor is as gorgeous as the rumor says" -> Rumor to plural "Mayor is as gorgeous as the rumors says" "This might be our chance, her last husband just died, right?" -> All good "Nah bro, you won't even last a week" -> All good "Comparing to her, our commander is just a female gorilla" -> Not sure about the sense of this one. Gorilla might be a bit weird Maybe something like "Compared to her, Commander is just a brute" "My- still can't find your mate at this age." -> "My- still didn't found a mate at your age?" "Does that milk tank of yours ever have any use?" -> Not only one milk tank :p "Does those fat milk tanks of yours were ever used?" "Shut up, you dog" -> All good "Other elves don't even gave birth to a litter like you" -> Not understanding this one. Is Commander talking about Mayor's many kids? "It's proof of my husband's love" -> All good "Something you won't ever get a chance to understand" -> All good. Could be a bit more harsh and be "Something you will never understand and experience" "Don't you mean husbands? You slut" -> All good

CERO Rains

The things about litter is, out Commander want to insult her friend about how they have a lot of kids like a dog more than elves but translation felt weird so I doesn’t sure how to fix it

King Crimson

Oh I see. I thought about this but wasn't sure Could be something like "Shut up, you dog. Never saw an elf giving birth to that many puppies. A real kennel" Kennel being house of dogs Puppies being cute name for small/baby dogs It could match the vibes between the twos Others feel free to correct if needed!

Malokc

“Damn how many times” instead of time, Rumor would be Rumors, ancient age could be ancient times, comparing would be compared. Otherwise it looks good!

Kennis

comparing -> compared, ancient age -> ancient times love these OCs!

Shini J. Mann

Mayor Elf might be traditionally beautiful, but I'm still for Elf Commander.

Anemonas

Elf Commander deserves some love too!