Halloween Milk (Patreon)

Hello everyone! I assume some of you are new. A few of my posts have been going omega viral lately and I been outputting out an insane amount of animation this past week. Unfortunately all of these animations were rather topical so I release them as I make them. First one is 20 seconds of little animation for an animation I did in 2025. You already seen most of it, as I just touched up the rest with new backgrounds and some fixes. The second was actually a birthday animation gift for picodraws! Who suddenly had a birthday in the 28th and I panic and just had to throw an animation together. Third one is my Halloween animation! I had the idea to do something with witches since I have a bit of an obsession with them... You can see why... I did two variants version, the rubber and the milk version. These three animations went hyper viral for one reason or another so uhh thank you! Likewise I will be uploading video files uncompressed AND the blender files as well.

Video Files

Blender Files

Ok everyone had their fun little time?

Warning Zinnia Rambling Mode.

SO if you had follow along on my other platforms you know that I have been having a bit of motivation problem. Not much that I dislike what I make, but rather the ever encroaching feeling that I am not living up to standards that I could be doing. Being an artist is a rough time for the best of us, let alone how hyper competitive it can be to struggle for people's clicks and dollars. I been wondering if what all I been doing really was the best I could have done with my time. If the things I make actually are as good as people have told me it is. If all the popularly I have seen was more of a fluke rather than anything. It all been sorta hounding on me, little by little, multiplied with all the horror and pressure of the real world encroaching over the horizon. As you might have guess I am not very good with money. I am not great at monetization, not great at setting prices, not great at telling people no for doing free work. I feel a lot of pressure to do what I can already for like an increasingly shrinking carrot dangling in front of me. This mixed with stuff like AI, me getting older, the world generally just getting rapidly shittier, the insane transphobia and bigotry in the mainstream, and maybe a little bit of burnout and feeling inadequate really been sanding down against my edges. I wish my animations could be better and and show off my characters more. I wish my art had more personality and that I could do more complex things and scenes. I want to feel like I am not being left behind because I am not doing trends or cause I don't know how to do a specific thing that everyone else but me knows how to. At time it feels like I am completely clueless and that I am doing something wrong and that everyone else in the world knows how to do this art thing better than me and I am a fool for even trying. I already spent closed to 8 years learning 3d modelling and animation from my own with nobody to teach me anything and a lot of it feels like I should be doing better and bigger things by now. But I am not.

I don't know how to explain this feeling but I can try the best I can. I wondering what art means to me and if its even worth for me to be an artist. A lot of the time art can feel like my own lifeline to having a sociable personality or having something which I can connect to with other people. The stuff I make means a lot of me, even if its like big boobs and gock and other stupid shit I make. But when I see other people do the same things I want to do, make characters, do animations, create interesting stories and make cool concepts. All that makes me want to cry. Because I feel like even if I am trying my hardest to do things I still am being left behind, and I wonder, is there something wrong with me? Why does everything I make feel so simple and bare bones? I care so much about art and put so much time and energy into it and got nothing to show from it? Why am I struggling so much with simple things? These things I keep in the back of my mind. It makes me feel like I somehow made the wrong choice by focusing on being an artist and makes me want to quit. I already put too much time into these things. There is too much pressure on me to be able to stop, stuck in a rut of my own making, feeling like nobody would care about me if I do anything else. In reality there is so much more I wish I could be making, and the fact that I can't makes me feel like a complete failure.

Well my mood been swinging up and down these last few weeks. From some pretty dark depths to swinging back up cause of things like Ace Combat reminding me of the reasons why I wanted to be an artist in the first place (yes really the funny plane game). I think I gotten a good course correction however. All the positive attention on me was a huge help. Still I don't want to feed into this vicious cycle. I don't want to be a dying star. I think the future I want to branch out into more things. I want to focus on my own personal "IP". I been slowly introducing more of my "original" characters in an attempt to do. To start introducing lore, worldbuilding, make some more serious art. I don't mind making NSFW all the time but I feel like I never will go anywhere or progress as a creative by just making the same thing over and over. Its less of a vibe shift and more of a course correction. I generally keep pretty private about my creative matters, so lets change that.

3D modelling for me started with a game. A fake game. A game that never existed. I call it Sundancer. It was an offshoot from a kerbal space program mod that I wanted to make. Project Sundancer is a story about a fighter pilot acting out as a mercenary, placed upon a world living under post scarcity, everything automated by machines. 20 years ago before the modern day, an event known as the blink happen. 15 years of human history was erased from people minds. Time skipped. As if nobody was aware anything had happen. Nobody could remember what happen. All they know is that one day the earth's population was down to 1 billion, and all that time was a foggy space in memory. There was no great battle, no signs of struggle or destruction, just empty buildings suddenly left behind as if everyone went away yesterday. In its place technology during the blink jump by over 500 years. Strange machines were scattered over the quiet silent ruins of americana. Megafactories fully automated that reached 800 meters high dotted the horizon. Nobody has a clue what happen, just that a rapture happen like a whisper. This was the world of Sundancer. In 2072 was the acting fighter jet pilot... Apollo! and his trusty robotic mecha co pilot... Nova! Nova and Apollo were actually my two oldest OCs, you can see why I think it was so funny why it took me so long to make him. Sundancer was going to be a game about fighter jets and mecha fights in a bizzaro cyberpunk future setting... all the entirely the brainchild of a really bored 15 year old in highschool over 10 years ago. Of course none of this ever went anywhere. You can't really imagine an entire video game into existence. There are dreams behind my eyes of cybernetic implants and battle androids and insectile drones and orbital rings and space station cities all over an abandon earth, all way too ambitious and irresponsible the way that 15 year olds think of things. Sundancer been in the back of my mind for over 10 years now, the archetypical dream project all creatives have. Im still so far from making it, and I wonder if I could would it even be something I still want.

Nicky.
Oh Nicky.

Now about what I been working on for most of my adult life. Let me tell you a story.

One day in the night sky, on a fourth of july over america, came a streaking blinding light. It was bright than any star, and the night turn into day. Like a ray of a supernova it was so bright that trees beneath the moonlight was set on fire. Children became blinded. The flash of light was an interstellar comet travelling at 0.999999999996c and it just hit the moon. In an instant billions of billions of tons of moon rock was vaporize. Half of the moon's mass was destroyed, scattered into rocks and dust and debris put around earth's orbit. The next 15 years, moonrocks miles across will fall from the sky like beautiful diamonds. Earth's skies became filled with brilliant lights from meteors falling for months at a time. Cities were devasted by falling moon debris turning them into cratered pockmarked faces. It was a time of pure chaos and pandemonium. To fight back humanity built weapons to fire moonrocks out of the sky. In the years leading up through the moonfall, a time of natural disasters put nations against nations, and disasters turned into war, and war turned into nuclear war, and the whole world was trapped in an 11 year long nuclear land war. By the time the moonfall has ended and ww3 has ended more than a billion people were killed. The old order of countries and nation states been uprooted by man and nature and in its place came the reconstructionist to build the world in their image. Now all the cards are in the table. In this new world, more things than just the night sky was changed. Humans were cloned and genetically modified to deal with the devasting destruction of nuclear war. Androids were developed to make up for the shortage of manpower in a time the cards of the world were being rearranged in the whims of billionaires and powerful war profiteers. And finally, creatures behind the veil were revealed by the moonfall. Wonderous things that always been there, inexplicably tied with the true nature of reality and the keepers of secrets that will lead to the destruction of the boundary between us and irreality.

All of that sounds like a lot. But that is the key event that leads to my setting starring the moonfall. However what you might call this as is... New Young Android Anarchist. Or NYAA for short. A book about two android lesbians who will destroy the world and kill all of humanity. Things will get better however. Still I don't think theres any fun in spoiling all the twist and turns. Almost all of my characters fall into one of two settings. Sundancer or NYAA. I been working on NYAA for a really long time now. Its actually a book I been writing on and off for a bunch of time. I want to be able to share that book when I feel its complete. I want to do more things surrounding these projects, cause they only been brain childs and written works with very little made from them outside of character models. Nicky and all her friends are from NYAA, well actually shes the main protagonist! Just trust me that it all makes sense when I will explain it. These have been my long term projects.

I write all of this cause it makes me feel better about all the things I already made. I might not have a game and I might not have a surreal scifi epic, but the fact i have anything made from these at all, even if its just character models and porn, is enough to make me happy. I want to keep making art because I feel I still have so much more I can offer, and so much more I can show people. Well thats it. Thats all I wanted to say for now.

Go home.

All my patreons thank you!