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Study 082 - The Skeleton Count (Patreon)

Published:
2024-03-14 20:56:40
Imported:
2024-03
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We're taking a skeptical look at The Skeleton Count, or The Vampire Mistress, a story from the penny dreadfuls attributed to Elizabeth Caroline Grey.

Special thanks to our reader: Maeve Sawyer!

You can investigate the authorship of this story along with us, starting with these resources:

Taliesin Meets the Vampires 

The Elizabeth Caroline Grey Hoax at Yesterday's Papers

The Many Mrs. Greys from The Papers of the Bibliographic Society of America

This episode features an excerpt from Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor by Frédéric Chopin.

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Comments

Pierce King

I agree with Chad. I also felt like a man wrote it. Especially because of how little Rodolph's looks were described as compared to the detail put into Bertha's. Also was anybody else uncomfortable with how often Bertha's bosom was mentioned lol.

Ann Knight

Great stuff. I also love the overwrought gothic wallowing in adjective-laden horror.

REO Jackwagon

Poor Things vibes? Anybody? Retroactive of course. Take her anywhere but London!

Beanz

I see the problem. The pages between the 2 options must have stuck together. He accidentally prepared Neck Romancer. Rookie mistake. On a separate note, I was really hoping they'd bury his bones in the coffin with her. Let that dummy reform in a buried coffin too small for 2 bodies. The actual curse of being a skeleton every night is waking up to whatever bs someone did while you were helpless. Addendum: If you thought falling asleep at a party and waking up to d*cks drawn on your face was bad, wait till you turn into a skeleton at a party.

Ben A

I agree with you guys that most authors don’t write in widely disparate genres. But, we have encountered one who did, enough that Lovecraft remarked on how wild it was that the author wrote both chamber romances and downright weird tales: Robert Chambers. So, it is possible that Ms. EC Grey did exist and wrote silver fork tales alongside penny dreadfuls. But I also agree that in this case it seems pretty unlikely. And this is one of the most ridiculous tales you’ve conjured in a long time, from the clueless count to the were-skeleton (a discount lich) to the lascivious writing and wish fulfillment. I’m surprised Hammer never adapted this one. Good stuff.

Steve

Peter Haining I would trust about as much as Elliot O'Donnell, but they both produced entertaining tales.

REO Jackwagon

Ooooh. The Skeleton Count! NOW I get it!

Doc Singles

I was greatly amused by the sinewy-armed smith plunging his stake into her with all his force, his horrible thrust aroused her, the writhing and shrieking, etc. And her abdomen was pierced instead of her heart, which I have to assume because that's nearer to her "lady parts." Were those considerably more innocent/naive times when this story was published? How many folks picked up on the double entendre?

Camshaft

As soon as Chad mentioned “Weird Science,” I instantly pictured the grave-robbing flunkies wearing corsets on their heads (because bras hadn’t been invented yet)!

Rasmus Juul

"We know he's a cook." Such a sly comment

KateSherrod

I'm not usually a fan of shows that dunk on bad art*, but you guys are always judicious about how often you indulge in it and the result is good. This was a fun episode and I'm still giggling. P.S. "Mercy Wallet" should be SSSS merch. *I can never forget W.H. Auden pointing out that most bad reviews are just the reviewer showing off.

Daniel Restione

Love the fact that Chad has never and will never let go of that chicken dinner at Castle Dracula… hence the comment “We know he’s a cook!” Now that’s a call back years in the making and why I love this podcast!!!!!!!!

Sweatin' to the Great Oldies

I'm interested in the suggestion here that vampires don't have to kill people - just sip a bit o' their blood. Doesn't even hurt. Surely we should live in peace and harmony with our sexy neck nuzzlers?

It's a Ghost.

What a ridiculous, silly story! I loved it. Also, Rodolph resolving “to exhume the corpse of some one recently dead, and attempt its reanimation,” definitely gave me Herbert West vibes.

Drix

Do you guys think that Mr Munigant from Ray Bradbury's story "Skeleton" could defeat the count? Or does his impious compact w/ the Devil make him immune from weird bone-eater stomach acid? Side note: about to call every agreement I make with my friends an impious compact.

Thunk

I like Bertha as a wholesome Vampire name. Get out of here, Desdemona and Lilith and Mary and Mina.

Joshua Weiss

So, vampires are traditionally nocturnal, right? Sleeping all day and then coming out at night to prey on the living? With the Count turning into a skeleton at nightfall and Bertha being a bloodsucking vampire, this story could have been a sort of star-crossed lovers tale, since they would have been unable to interact after the Count's curse became active, rather that what we ended up with. Major missed opportunity there, "Elizabeth Carolyn Grey."

Aaron La Vene

Really weird setup for the new weekend at Bernie’s

David Halstead

I guess it's true. Your purple prose just gives you away. Unbelievable.

Ketus

Rodolph really dropped the ball when making the deal with the devil, invincible but you also turn into a skeleton and drop like a ragdoll where you stood? Did he sign before reading?? You're a NECROMANCER! Then managing to score the elixir of immortality that makes you into a Dracula sounds MUCH better than turning into an invalid Skeletor. Also find it funny that the butler went down for a drink at the bar and just ruined everything because Rodolph was too horny to care where the body came from. It would be like Igor showing up at the bar and telling folks "Yeah we're putting all sorts of people together into one man. Your dad is part of him! It's Gastly!"

Jason of the K

The base plot reminds me a bit of Emma Stone's "Pretty Things". Plus a heavy dash of "Twilight/50 shades" with the hunky rich guy getting all deviant with the young girl. It's ok that he is a corpse molester, he's good looking and rich!