Shit, is that a smile? (Patreon)

While I've been sitting here waiting for my computer to stop being a derp (OS issues), I went back through some pictures on my phone and stumbled across this one. A great many of you have asked me why I don't smile more often, so when I saw this one, I got a chuckle and decided to post it.

There are a few reasons (you'd be a whole lot prettier if you smiiiiled moooooreee...!!!):

— I've been told that I have a really cute "resting bitch face," so I try to roll with that whenever I can. 

— When I smile in pictures, I kinda get crazy eyes? I'm not sure why. I'm pretty certain that I'm emotionally stable, and don't deserve crazy eyes. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe one of these days I'll put it to a vote to see what you all think. But for now, I tend to be one of those "Uggh, delete it!" people everyone hates. 

     - Side note on that one, yeah... I have taken to checking people's pictures whenever I can, and there have been more than a few awkward interactions where they're reluctant to show the picture, only to finally relent and reveal that they cut off the top of my head in favor of getting a closeup of the girls. You get used to it...

— I've never really smiled that much. Even when people say "smile!" for a picture, I just kind of... don't. It's not that I don't have anything to smile about or anything stupid like that. I just tend to express myself in different ways sometimes. 

— You ever meet a grownup with braces? That was me in my 20s. I had this snaggletooth that I was always really self-conscious about (not a cute Jewel one; more like a gravestone after an earthquake), and it wasn't until I got a job with some sweet-ass dental coverage that I got it taken care of. So I guess I grew up trying to hide showing my teeth as much as I could. Hey, we've all got our demons and insecurities. 

— It's branding, baby! (God, that felt shitty to type. Never again). 

Anyway, this is one of the rare shots where even I have to admit that I look a) genuine, b) not crazy, c) decently made-up, and d) kinda...pretty? Huh. Sometimes the stars align.

Maybe one day, when we get really close, I'll show y'all my driver's license photo. I look like a Florida mugshot on Memorial Day Weekend. [shudders]