The Struggle is Real (Patreon)

There comes a point in every woman's life (and it's usually once or twice a year) where she takes her hair into account. For some of us, its the spontaneous urge to take a stab at cutting our own bangs (and the panicked appoint with a qualified professional the next day to fix what we did to ourselves). For others, it's a dye job, or a permanent wave, or wanting to shave the side of your head like Natalie Dormer did in one of the Hunger Games movies (because yes, Natalie Dormer is hot, and I don't care if I'm bi, but at the end of the day, I am a human being with two eyes attached to a heart, so yes, Natalie Dormer is fucking hot as fuck).

But for the more average of us, it's a binary decision. Longer, or shorter. For me, it's been a tricky choice. I've long wanted a bob kinda cut, but you know, a cool bob, like this chick, who I feel like I should know, but I suck with pop culture, so what you gonna do.

But then, as everyone (myself included) reminds me, having long hair isn't so bad in my case. Probably longer, wouldn't be bad, in fact: it covers my neck, cascades a little more downward, and most of all, tends to distract a little from my chest. 

Which begs another question: is distracting from my chest something I really want to do? In the same way that I have been embracing the new me, should I just go whole-hog and dive in for a cut? Or is long the way to go? Truth be told, my hair has never been longer than it is now, and I've kind of always wondered what it would be like to have super long hair. Not down to my ankles or my butt or anything, but you know. Intentionally long. 

But then again, if I did go for a length that covered my breasts completely, it would be butt-length, because life is funny that way. And how many times do I really hang out on deserted beaches participating for photoshoots with Sports Illustrated, anyway (which I think is the only practical setting, aside from sexytimes, when one uses her hair to cover her jumblies)?

I'll be happy to hear any opinions, because with the dawn of 2019, I'm at an impasse. Bonus points if you have a background in cosmetology (the hair cutting kind, not the planetary orbit kind, though that works too.

Plus, if I cut my hair, I wouldn't be able to do kissy-duckface-moustache thing, which has questionable social value at best.