Shit, it's cold. (Patreon)

It's freezing here. Literally. Now, as many a woman will tell you, boobies tend to get chilly to begin with. Especially big ones. I'm not sure if you know this, but breasts aren't typically supposed to be this size, and while my circulatory system is in fine shape, that's a lot of flesh to keep warm.

So on a night like tonight, when keeping the girls toasty is particularly difficult, I decided to get clever. I have a couple of hot water bottles, the rubber kind with the screwtops that you tuck under the bedsheets. And these hot water bottles have these thick, cozy cotton covers that go over them.

If hot water bottles can have their own cute little sweaters, why not boobs? To tell the truth, they're a lot comfier than I was anticipating. I think this might be my new winter look.

And yes. Those are owls. Totally unintentional. But I get the joke. It made me giggle, too.