TV Multiverse 120 (Patreon)

The party had been amazing fun, a memorable experience for the soon-to-be-married couple, as well as properly meeting Phoebe. She had been more fun than he expected, not that he made any attempt to keep her close.

Phoebe had the most cat-like personality he had ever seen, rebellious and impossible to direct. No, he was happy to leave the initiative completely in her hands. He spent most of the day sleeping, and occasionally painting.

Then, his monotony changed.

The reason was a message, from Barney, inviting him to their favorite bar now that he had returned to New York. MacLaren’s.

He decided that it was a fun way to spend his evening. He didn’t drive, but instead took a cab there, and arrived at the iconic location.

MacLaren's was messy and slightly dirty, in the way good bars are. Low ceiling, bad lighting, unhealthy food that paired perfectly with beer, and most importantly, a nice split of regulars and first-timers.

The last one, in particular, was an underrated part of something amazing.

When he arrived, Ted and Barney were already arguing. “No, Ted. You can’t do that. It’s against the rule—“

“Hi guys,” he said even as he sat on the lone chair of the booth. “What’s with the fight?”

“Ethan!” Barney cheered happily when he arrived. “Just the right man. Can you tell this idiot that pooping where you eat is a terrible idea?”

He smiled, already catching on the nature of the fight. “It often is, but I need to know more to guess.”

“With pleasure,” Barney said happily. “You remember Ted’s tramp stamp.”

“The dolphin with roses, how can I forget?” he teased, while Ted groaned, burying his face in his arms.

“I’ll never live this down,” he complained.

“Most likely,” he responded. After all, it was hall-of-shame material, and theirs was a group that would never let them forget. “How does it link?”

“He’s trying to nail his dermatologist."

“Not trying to nail her. I’m pursuing Stella, because she might be the one,” Ted corrected.

“While she’s busy removing your dolphin tattoo. Brave move,” Ethan teased. He knew that, technically, Ted wasn’t wrong. Ted would eventually succeed.

Unfortunately, trying to get married to a woman who was still obsessed with her ex was a bad idea, especially when they had a child, meaning a connection would always exist. It would turn out to be Ted’s worst relationship, making him spiral badly.

“It’s against the Platinum Rule, Ted. You have to stop before it turns into a disaster,” Barney said.

“What’s Platinum Rule?” he asked.

“Glad you asked,” Barney said, his expression alight with fun, while Ted groaned in protest, showing that he had listened to the monologue too many times already.

Ethan did as well, but it hit different on screen, and in real life. Still, Barney was surprisingly fun.

They had been talking for a while before something changed. Lily walked in, arrived at the booth quickly before she sat down next to Barney. Only then, she notice him, freezing. He acted surprised as well.

“Hi, Lily. This is Ethan. We met when…”

“Just before Ted decided to experiment with tattoos,” he said.

“Really?” Lily said, still surprised at his sudden presence, which he focused on coming up with something else.

“Yes. Ethan here got us to one of the best parties ever to help this dummy here get over his breakup,” Barney said, and started telling the story. As usual, half of the details were exaggerated, others replaced with more interesting lies, making Barney more of a central character.

It was useful because it distracted Ted, who did his best to correct the details, both of them missing Lily’s shock. Lily calmed down once Barney told the story of how two of them meet, convinced that it had nothing to with her job.

“So, Ethan, what do you do?” Lily asked, a warning flash in her eyes.

“Well, fashion photography pays the bill, though some will say I’m a decent photographer,” he said, acting like Lily hadn’t been working for him. She relaxed when he let her off the hook. “Though I’m also dabbling with painting.”

“Really,” Ted said. “Lily here is also interested in painting.”

“I’m not interested in painting, Ted. I’m a painter,” Lily corrected, her tone sharp enough to make Ted wince. He remembered that for the first few seasons, even after the disastrous art program, Lily still believed she could make a living as a painter.

It was a dream she eventually gave up, only to end up as a serious art appraiser. Something he could give a little hand with his newfound fascination with painting.

“We have more important things to do than cater to your hobbies, Lily. Like convincing this idiot that asking Stella out is a bad idea,” Barney said.

Lily bristled at Barney’s dismissal, but he caught her gaze, and silently reminded her that she wanted to act like they hadn’t met before, and focusing on Ted was the best idea. “Oh, yeah,” Lily said. “Remember how it went with our creepy neighbors.”

“That’s not the same,” Ted responded, and the conversation picked up speed. Lily wasn’t able to fully focus on the debate, but luckily for her, Ted and Barney were too distracted by the argument to watch her. Barney was too interested in proving his Platinum Rule, and a lovestruck Ted was not the most attentive person in the world.

She was lucky.

“I’m just saying, the Platinum Rule exists for a reason. You don’t shit where you eat. You don’t hit on your own doctor, especially when she’ll be pointing a laser to your ass for several weeks. Also, it’s all moot. She saw your tramp stamp, Ted. It’s hopeless.”

“It’s not a tramp stamp,” Ted muttered in protest, though his tone showed he knew it very much was. “Stella is different.”

Ethan leaned back, enjoying his chair, watching the dynamic play out with amusement.

“What do you think, Ethan?” she said.

“Barney has a point, Ted. Hitting on a woman with a laser gun is daring. If she gets angry, you must pray that she has the aim of a storm trooper.”

Lily groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re a fan as well,” she protested.

“It’s a proof of good taste, Lily,” Barney said, defending Star Wars taking priority.

“Yes,” Ted responded, and for the next ten minutes, Barney and Ted attacked Lily’s poor taste in movies, which he played along, though whenever he did, he made sure to smile to her playfully while rubbing her foot with his, making sure she caught on what he was trying to do.

Then, the banter turned back to Stella, this time the group piling on Ted.

Ted groaned. “You’re all against love. Every single one of you. Stella could be the one.”

Lily opened her mouth, then closed it again. “Not this one, Ted. Trust me,” she said.

Ted did not, otherwise he wouldn’t be Ted. The banter continued for another few minutes, circling the same points with increasing volume. He continued to contribute just enough to keep the conversation moving without drawing too much attention to himself.

Eventually, the natural rhythm of the booth shifted. Ted and Barney got pulled into a side argument about whether a certain bartender had once been a backup dancer for a one-hit wonder in the early 90s.

Their voices rose, hands waving, attention completely locked on each other. Lily seized the moment. She stood, smoothing her skirt, and murmured something about needing the restroom. As she slid out of the booth, she caught his eye for half a second longer than necessary and tilted her head almost imperceptibly toward the back of the bar.

Ethan waited until Lily disappeared, then pulled out his phone, frowned at the screen as if an urgent message had just appeared, and stood. “Work call,” he said to the others, walking toward the door. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes, guys.”

Barney waved him off without looking. Ted didn’t even notice, too busy launching into a detailed defense of 90s grunge rock, unaware of the irony.

The hallway leading to the restrooms was narrow and dimly lit, the kind of space that always smelled faintly of old beer and industrial cleaner. Lily was waiting just outside the women’s room, arms crossed, expression carefully controlled.

He never liked bathroom adventures, so he quickly picked the lock on the door of the storage room, and dragged her there. The room was tiny.

The fluorescent light hummed overhead. Lily turned to face him, back against the door, and for a moment neither of them spoke.

“You weren’t supposed to be here,” she said finally, voice low and sharp. “What are you doing with my friends?”

“I mean, in my defense, I had no idea you two knew each other. I never even thought it. Who would have guessed you’re friends with Barney?” he said, shamelessly using their weak link to his advantage.

She sighed. “You have a point. Barney is … complicated.”

“I’m sure,” he said. “And, I don’t see the harm in it. We played it off well. There’s no risk.”

“Well, almost. We still need to tell Robin,” Lily said.

He was glad for his acting talent, allowing him to sell his fake shock. “Robin is a part of the group as well?”

“Not only that, she’s the ex that triggered the whole tramp stamp saga,” she said.

“Really?”

Lily’s eyes narrowed. “Still, you deserve some punishment. Do you have how scared I was when I saw you sitting with the gang?”

He smirked as he slipped a hand under her skirt. “Any idea how I can serve that punishment,” he whispered.

Her breath hitched. “You can’t be serious,” she said.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning to delay punishing me,” she said. The air shifted, and he pressed her against the locked door. Her hand came up, rested against his chest, but her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt instead.

“This is a bad idea,” she whispered.

“Maybe. But are you too scared not to do it?”

She kissed him first. It was not soft. Lily knew how to act prim and proper, but at her core, she was a sexy, passionate firebrand.

Lily broke the kiss just long enough to speak against his lips. “If anyone walks in—”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared,” he responded, even though he would catch any approache easily.

“Never,” she responded, jumping to wrap her legs around him. He kissed the side of her neck, teeth grazing her skin, while his fingers explored under her skirt. “I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said. It was true. Lily was passionate and fun, and he suspected they would get even closer now that he started painting seriously. But, that took a backseat to his fingers slipping inside, enjoying her tightening. Her hands fumbled with his zipper, freeing his cock with impatient tugs.

He didn’t make her wait. He hooked her underwear to the side, lined himself up, and thrust into her in one smooth, hard stroke. Lily’s cry was muffled against his shoulder. Her legs locked around his waist, heels digging into the backs of his thighs as he set a relentless pace.

He shifted their position to a nearby shelf, which creaked under them. He didn’t make him slow her. He fucked her hard, her moans sexy and loud. “More,” she begged. He shifted the angle, brushing against the sensitive spot inside her that made her thighs shake.

One of his hands stayed braced on the shelf; the other gripped her hip hard enough to leave marks.

“This is what you wanted when you dragged me in here,” he said against her ear, voice rough as he pushed her shirt up, her tits dancing with each push. “Not a conversation. This.”

“N-no,” she whispered, her answer a broken moan.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, spanking her ass, and she clenched hard. She bit down on his shoulder to stay quiet, nails scoring across his back under his shirt. Every thrust punched a soft, desperate sound out of her. Her walls fluttered and tightened around him, already climbing fast.

He would have loved to tease her more, but their situation meant that a long absence would raise too many questions. Not to mention, a chain of orgasms wouldn’t survive the situation. She looked wrecked already, and he had only been inside her for a couple of minutes.

“Harder,” she gasped.

He gave it to her. The pace turned brutal, the kind of fucking that left no room for anything else. She came first, a sharp, full-body shudder that clamped down around his cock so tightly it almost hurt. She buried her face against his neck to muffle the sound, shaking through the aftershocks while he kept thrusting, dragging the orgasm out until she was whimpering.

He let her go once he was near the edge, but only because he stopped holding back. He exploded inside, filling her with his mark before he let her panties back into their place.

[Achievement complete. Get familiar with the layout of MacLaren’s intimately.

Challenge: Daring]

[+25 Perception

1 Random Platinum Skill

1 Random Platinum Reward]

He hummed, not surprised by the intensity of the reward, the importance of the bar giving a boost to the achievement. Not to mention, convincing Lily to get a quickie near her friends wasn’t easy.

Curious, he picked skill. It had been a while.

[Expert Poker]

{Elite Skill: You are an exceptional poker player. You know how to read others, calculate statistics, and create complicated strategies targeting the mentality of the other players, enough to be a notable player in national scene.]

It was a surprising reward, mostly because he didn’t remember Lily playing poker.

But, knowing her relationship with board games, she might have been hiding her skills.

“I’ll slip back outside. It’ll be less suspicious if you return first, then I return,” he whispered, kissing her while she murmured, dazed. But, he still helped her to sneak into the bathroom safely before he sneaked out of the small bathroom window.

He returned to the bar minutes later, where Barney and Ted were talking excitedly while Lily sat primly, with no sign of what had happened.

They shared a smile before they started talking about how terrible of an idea for Ted to start hitting on Stella.

He decided to help Stella avoid that particular problem, his way.