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Sourcing Surprise Scenarios! (Patreon)

Published:
2024-09-03 15:25:52
Edited:
2024-09-03 15:26:29
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Hey fam! We're recording a new episode of "Surprise Round!" this afternoon. Submit your unhinged hypotheticals below and we will do our best to game them out.

Comments

Kjersa

You’re having coffee with a friend on an outdoor patio. They pull a salt scrub out of their bag and start vigorously rubbing their legs. What do you do?

Blubread00

You are tasked with taking a young child of your choice to meet the characters in Disney and take pictures. After the child takes a picture with the first mascot you can sense they felt uncomfortable. When you ask the child what they mean all they say is “Their hand felt weird” with no further elaboration. They INSIST on seeing the rest of the mascots with the same response after seeing each one. Do you take the child to go see more mascots and if so how many or do you take them back home for the day?

Helena Jay

You learn about a new airline that is free, and will take you anywhere in the world you want to go, regardless of distance. The flight quality is similar to a budget airline (e.g. a Ryanair or Spirit) but it is guaranteed you’ll never have to check your carry on bag, and food/drinks are free. However, before the flight the pilot pulls a random name from the list of passengers. At the end of the flight, as the passengers are disembarking the plane, the pilot will step out of cockpit and punch the person whose name was chosen in the face. Hard. There is no way to avoid being punched. The airline is able to stay in business because the pilots work for free on the condition that they get to punch a random person in the face. Do you take this airline? If so, how frequently.

Gort Munchman

You are at a home game for your favorite hockey team, the Philadelphia Flyers! Between the first and second periods the lights go dark, and overhead the announcer declares "watch out everyone! Mad scientist Dr. Gritty has whipped up a batch of Gritty Goo, don't make him spill!" Sure enough you see the Flyers' bright orange, bug-eyed, monstrous mascot Gritty wearing an oversized labcoat and carefully carrying a nearly overflowing bucket of bright orange liquid through your row. Everyone is cheering and excited, but Gritty actually appears nervous about spilling and is being extra careful not to lose any goo. He gets to you, and accidentally stumbles on your leg, dumping this substance all over both of you. He seems genuinely angry, miming frustration. The entire crowd also turns on you with jeers and thrown popcorn, and you are quickly removed from the game by security without further explanation. Though you are initially confused, time seems to pass without any consequences and you eventually store the experience away as a strange memory. 10 years later you receive a letter in the mail. Written in a particularly Gritty font, it reads: "To [your name], 10 years ago you made the mistake of tripping me and spilling my experimental Gritty Goo. While you have lived a life of freedom and luxury, I have been dealing with the consequences of your actions. I tried to keep it a secret from him to the best of my ability, but he has started to ask questions that I simply do not know the answers to. In this envelope is a photo of our son. He is old enough to know the truth about his origin and his parents. If you have any decency you will do the right thing and give this child the life he deserves. Sincerely, Gritty." In the envelope is a photo of an approximately 10-year-old child. Much like Gritty, they have bright orange skin and hair, and large white eyes. You do notice, however, that they have a nose and smile that are disturbingly similar to your own. Clipped to the photo is a phone number. Do you call the number and connect with what appears to be your Gritty son?

RJ

You’re house-sitting for a friend while they’re out of town for the week. Overall it seems pretty lowkey, but the one thing your friend has asked you to do is meet the city building inspector who is coming out to do a structural inspection on a deck your friend is having built in the backyard. “No big deal,” your friend says, “he already knows about the project,” but they make it absolutely clear that the inspection MUST get done this week while they are away or there could be serious consequences with the city. After a few quiet days of hanging out in the game room and eating all of your friend’s popcorn, the doorbell rings right on time for the inspection. But when you open the door, you see The Grinch. He is wearing no safety gear other than a thick pair of goggles. When you ask for his credentials to confirm he’s the inspector, he responds, “What, never seen a green guy on a job before?” and waves you off before making his way to the back of the house. While conducting his “inspection,” you see The Grinch writing furiously on a fuzzy green clipboard. He motions over to you to indicate he’s done and needs to speak with you. “Alright,” he says, “I found a few issues, but I’m feeling big-hearted today, so I’m willing to let them slide if you keep this to yourself. Just don’t tell the city I was out here today.” What do you do?

Fighting Favorites

“The Grinchoire” You are enjoying an overnight stay at the Grinch’s Cave outside Boulder, Utah. While perusing the Grinch’s library you notice a tome bound in green fur tucked back behind the books. When you pull it out it appears to be a magical grimoire—or “Grinchoire”—if you will. Inside you find every cantrip and 1st level spell available to the 5e wizard class. However, stamped on every page is a warning in red bolded letters. “One who wields the magic of the Grinchoire must also take upon them the Grinch’s curse. Every year on December 12th you will transform into the Grinch and must spend the following two weeks earnestly attempting to steal Christmas. Doing your absolute best to break into homes and steal everything as a Grinch would. There can be no restitution or explanation to the families affected in any way afterwards, and each house must be that of a total stranger with no arrangements made beforehand. Each house robbed in this way will count as 15 XP to a potential wizard level up with an extra 10 XP added for each child living in the house. Failure to make an earnest effort to steal Christmas will result in a permanent -2 penalty to one of your real life stats once per Christmas season.” Do you take the deal?

Tabaxi Druid Sarah

You find a weird old lamp and when you rub it, a genie pops out. However, the genie looks just like the Grinch. Hell, it could even be the Grinch himself. The Grinch Genie tells you that he can grant you three wishes but he only grants negative wishes. So, for example, he can't grant you infinite wealth, but he can grant your enemy infinite poverty. Do you take him up on his wishes and what would you wish for.

Connor Gentry

You and your spouse are in a bad car accident. You recover and are discharged from the hospital, but your partner will need significant care at home for several months to help them get around and rehabilitate. You need to return to work, but the insurance company is willing to cover an in-home nurse during this time. You receive three applicants but one stands out as extremely qualified. You interview the two average applicants first and they fail to impress. Most importantly, your partner dislikes their bedside manner and doesn’t feel they can rely on them. When the third arrives to interview, they aren’t what you expected. He is an extremely sexy shirtless crash bandicoot. During the interview, he regularly dismisses you but engages both professionally and playfully with your spouse. After the interview, your spouse insists Crash is clearly the best candidate and has a record of helping patients recover faster than predicted due to his “unique full body healing techniques.” Crash will be alone with your partner 40+ hours a week and be present for their most intimate and vulnerable moments, as well as their biggest successes as they rehab. What do you do?

Jackson B

You discover someone is living in your house unbenounced to you, however, you have only discovered this because they have been paying the utility bills for the past few months. What do you do?

Extremely High Elf

You wake up and you have traded bodies with one character from Campaign 1 besides the BoB. You retain all your memories from the real world (sorry Emily) but gain all the abilities and status of this character. Who do you pick?

Kay

You and your partner are looking to buy a house, with a beautiful baby on the way. In this economy, it’s been nothing but overpriced fixer uppers, mold ridden death traps, and places way too out of your price range, and even when you do find a house to put down a bid on, you’re outbidded and have to start again. Finally, your realtor shows you a gorgeous home. A reasonable 3 bed, 2 bath in a nice neighborhood with lots of natural light, a finished basement, plenty of outdoor space, and a garage, all for a low price. It’s perfect for starting your family. You put in your bid, and you get it. As you begin to close on the house at the realty office, and are going through the paperwork with your realtor, 4 teenagers and a Great Dane burst into the room with a cop in tow. The leader of the teens, a blonde male with an orange ascot and white shirt, says “There you are Mr. Jenkins! Or should we say, the Basement Boner!” And rips open the realtor’s silk button up, revealing a skeleton costume underneath. The young woman wearing an orange turtleneck-skirt combo says “The Basement Boner would haunt the houses of people who weren’t sure about selling, scaring them into believing their basements were haunted. Jinkies!” The Great Dane then uses its front paws as if they were opposable appendages and reaches under the desk, revealing a skull mask with a dick drawn on the forehead. The dog then speaks, saying “Rooks like I was right about smelling ribs, right Raggy?” To which a green shirted teen with a goatee says, “Zoinks, you sure were Scoob!” The cop then arrests your realtor, who walks off in handcuffs muttering “I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.” A moment later, another realtor awkwardly walks in, apologizes for her coworker’s arrest, saying that his behavior did not reflect on the company, and she can help you finish signing out your paperwork. Do you buy the house?

Beano Nintendo

You get invited to be on an episode of Drawfee called “Drawing DND Monsters We’ve Never Heard of” as a collaboration between Drawfee and NADDPOD. You get to Karina’s apartment to record and find out that the episode features you, her, Jacob, and Julia which is pretty normal. They tend not to include more than 4 people per episode but Nathan is totally absent. You ask the group where Nathan is and they respond with “who?” Before you really have a chance to elaborate, you’ve started recording. The conversation and drawings come very naturally and you start to forget about the whole missing Nathan thing. You think that this is a really solid episode and can’t wait to get it published and see what the fans think but, shortly after you finish recording, you hear the door open. You hear Nathan’s voice “Hey, guys. I got snacks from the bodega. How’d the recording go?” The rest of the Drawfee cast replies normally and you breathe a sigh of relief but you do find it odd that nobody actually addressed Nathan by name when he came in. When he enters the room, you see that he looks exactly like one of the monsters from the episode, either the one that you talked the most about or, in Caldwell’s case, the one that you drew. The other hosts refer to him only by the monster’s name but he still sounds and acts exactly like Nathan and, aside from calling him something else, all of the other Drawfee hosts interact with him in the same way they normally would. They are all about to do a livestream and have invited you to stick around if you so choose. You check your phone and it looks like old episodes of Drawfee still refer to one of the hosts as Nathan and feature art and clips of him in his normal human form. The steam is scheduled to start in 5 minutes. What do you do?

Axyl and Olympia

You go to a water park, one of those rides where you go into a covered tube. Your friend goes before you and then the life guard tells you you can go, you come out on the other side fine but your friend is no where to be found. He comes back two hours later saying that was the most fun he has ever had and smells strongly of fruit. Do you ride the water slide again?

AnonymousDM

You come home from a trip one day to see your spouse sitting across the table from — you. A perfect clone of you, that is just as shocked to see you as you are to see it! While you’re quickly able to prove that you’re the original, the clone has your exact memories up until about a couple days ago, and believed itself to be the original while it’s been living your life. Do you (A) kill the clone (B) accept that the clone is a conscious person that loves what you love and agree to let them share in some aspects of your life (C) let the clone live but they have to go live somewhere else

Alec D

You’re sitting inside your house when suddenly you hear a dog barking. You don’t own a dog. You investigate and find a dog in your garbage eating all your trash. The dog wears a collar that reads “Max”. This is clearly the Grinchs dog. What do you do?

Ricky the Moist

Check it: you’re 16 out on a Friday night driving your dad’s car for the first time without his supervision. You stop at your local Walmart to grab some Dews for you and boys, upon heading back outside you see someone t-bones your dad’s parked car and left the scene. How do you break it to your dad? Oh btw your dad is Bruce Banner and you know he had a real long shitty week at work (had to fight Abomination in the middle of Colorado, you live in Jersey)

spooky mcfunkypants

If you could explode into chunks at will and be fine afterwards, would you rather wake up in your bed after exploding or have the chunks reform into you? Reasons why one might explode: for fun, for emphasis, to escape an awkward conversation

Andy Branton

You’ve been seriously dating your new partner for six months now. It’s going great and they’ve met your family and been embraced. you’re ready to meet their parents. You’re heading over there for Friday dinner. Youre nervous but your partner gives your hand a squeeze to reassure you as you knock on the door. You open the door and your partner says “mom!” And gives the person in front of you a hug. In front of you is a person wearing a Grinch suit. Hell, it might even be the grinch himself. You hear a voice in another room say hello. Around the corner comes someone dressed as Winnie the Pooh. Hell. It might even be Winnie the Pooh himself. “Are you off your phone enough to give your old man a hug? Or is that not work anymore?” Oh no. It’s Boomer Winnie the Pooh. What do you do?

Amarpal

You’re in the airport about to leave the sunny beaches of Spain after the summer holidays when you lose your significant other at the security gates. You look around all you can but cannot see them. Suddenly right in front of you, you see someone in a very convincing grinch costume. Heckling hell, it could even be the grinch himself. He says that he’s your significant other and has the passport to prove it. You ask, why they are in a grinch costume. They reply trust me, I’ll explain later. You are gestured to the security gate and have seconds to respond. Do you go with it or notify the armed police immediately.

ThisIsAnOutrage

You *just* bought a new carton of Fairlife milk. Your partner leaves it out all night after abandoning an idea for baking midnight muffins. You have no other food in the house in the morning but cereal and milk. Do you risk it?

Johny Dude-Kay

It is July in San Diago. You have just wrapped up a night out with your friends for one's birthday. Though everyone else carried on drinking through out the night, you only had 3 Molsons before switching to water a few hours ago. After helping your friends into their Uber, you go to retrieve your car from the parking lot near the bar. As you round the corner and look into the lot, what you see is quite frankly, unbelievable. It seems that an immense, barefoot, man in an orange spotted animal fur is openly brawling with someone baring a striking resemblance to Will Ferrell's Ron Burgandy, wearing the suit and everything. The large man is shouting something to the other man about having something unfavorable about his family "The Flintstones" on last nights news broadcast. Before you can even process this, The Grinch, or someone in a strikingly accurate Jim-Carrey-esc costume, steps out from behind a car and strikes "Mr Flintstone" in the back with a steel chair before nodding to "Ron Burgandy", shrugging his shoulders, and saying "It's a Living" as Ron Burgandy hands The Grinch a handful of Wet Clams. It truly a sight to behold, and as unbelievable as it all is, you accidentally make eye contact with Mr Flintstone. As Ron Burgandy and The Grinch kick and stomp on Mr Flinstone, he reaches his hand in your direction and mouths the words "Help Me." Ron and The Grinch take notice of you, with Ron saying "This doesn't concern you" in a menacing tone. If you don't intervene, Mr Flintstone could die. You know that if this is the real Fred Flintstone, he has a family at home, though it is well established that he is a bad friend, father, and husband. However, if you let Ron and the Grinch continue, you are not only complicate to this gratuitous act of violence, anyone else who might be silently witnessing this take place might accidentally get the idea that you like Anchorman Ron Burgandy. Mr Flintstone looks down, but not totally out. Unfortunately, Ron barely looks like he's broken a sweat and based on his manic energy, you don't know if you could take the Grinch at all. Trying to rush to Mr Flintstone's could result you getting seriously injured or worse, and would not guarantee Mr Flintstone's safety or survival. Your car is not blocked in, meaning you could just leave, but your phone is dead so you cannot call the authorities. What do you do?

Quinn Fogarty

You wake up as any animal of your choice exactly 1 year before the titanic sinks. In your confusion you are greeted by the grinch, who gives you your mission. In order to see your family again, you must stop the doomed ship from sinking. What is the smallest animal you could be while still stopping the disaster, and how would you do it?

Ben M

It's 2:37 AM, it's raining outside (but not storming), and you hear a loud crash on the roof followed by a meek knock on the door. You go downstairs with some trepidation, but you look through the peephole and see someone in a hyper-realistic Santa costume - or hell, it could be Father Christmas himself. He yells through the door (he knows you're not asleep) and explains his situation over the sound of rain: Mrs Claus has gone through with the divorce, and now he's only allowed in his workshop in November and December (to prepare for christmas). He lost the elves and the reindeer in the divorce, and needs a place to crash for the other ten months of the year. He can't pay rent because Christmas doesn't bring in money, but you know that if you say no then Christmas could be ruined for dozens of children around the globe. What do you do?

Denali Smith

You inherit an old lamp from your great uncle. The lamp seems completely normal except for a smell of damp fur. One day when you’re minding your own business you accidentally rub the lamp and in a big flash of green light a genie appears before you. However, this genie seems to have a very realistic costume of Jim Carey’s the Grinch on, or hell it might be the grinch himself. He announces in the grinch voice that you have two wishes, but doesn’t offer any further explanation on how the wishes work or why he’s only offering two. Do you take the wishes and if so what do you wish for?

Ella Evergreen

You wake up one morning, and your spouse isn’t there. There was nothing different on the schedule for them today, and they were perfectly normal when you went to bed last night. All of their belongings are still there. If you call or text them, there’s no answer. In a panic, you check outside. On the ground, there is a worm. There is nothing special about this worm, no distinguishing characteristics, but you get the immediate, intrinsic sense that this worm is your spouse. Do you bring your worm wife inside or leave this random worm to the elements?

A Mo

You and your spouse have planned a wonderful trip to Italy. Due to some last minute scheduling conflicts you will be getting to Rome two days before your partner with time to kill. After a long flight you arrive at your hotel room and realize there's been a mistake, your luggage was accidentally swapped with that of an international super spy. Inside there is: a disassembled sniper rifle, a disguise kit, night vision goggles, and a dossier containing their target: The Grinch. Official-looking documents detail the Grinch's cryptic plot to assassinate the Pope the very next evening. You have all the information needed to stop the Grinch, you have the free time. Do you take it upon yourself to solve the DaGrinchy Code? *All of the details in the Grinch in the dossier make it seem like it's the real Grinch, not a costume. **The Grinch's plot is strange and elaborate, you will likely have to solve some ancient puzzles in a thrilling adventure to succeed.

Syed the Story Dude

Someone has dropped off a bag of dookie on your doorstep. A loose sticky note reads, "I fetched this from your bedpan, you pitiful swine. Meet me in the local tavern loo in an hour, lest this foul fate greets the doorsteps of your loved ones. Signed, The Upperdecker"

Groov

YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH! You got a heafty speeding ticket while blasting through a school zone. Instead of paying the $2000 fine, you decide to do a 16 hour defensive driving course. You show up, and the instructor starts their 4 hour lesson, casually pulling out a handgun, gesture towards the big screen on the wall, and around the room. You're alarmed, but everybody else seems chill and looks at you funny when you suddenly duck when the gun swings towards you, even getting 'Shh'd' once. What do you do? Bonus: It's the last day of the course, and you're 1 hour in. The instructor accidentally fires into the wall, and says "oh, sorry about that folks." Everyone calmly nods understandingly, and he continues. Do you stay the last 3 hours?

Michael Critz

Would you rather have $1,000,000 but realize all your friendships are phony OR have good but not great friendships and never make more than $50,000 a year.

Gabrielle

You were raised by your single mother. As a child, whenever you used to ask what your father was like, your mother’s face would fill with wistfulness and she would simply say, “He was out of a storybook, or a movie, I guess.” You used to ask for a picture of him, but she insisted there were none. Now that you are an adult, your mother has asked you to clean out the attic for her, and you happen to find a dusty box of photographs. Every photograph is of your much-younger mother spending time with a man in a Grinch costume, or, hell, it might even be the Grinch himself. From the looks of it, the couple was deeply in love, and as you even begin to uncover photos of your mother holding a small baby with the Grinch smirking in the background, you start to wonder if your father is the actual Grinch. Do you confront your mother over this?

Kodi Knight

On your 40th birthday, the twilight of your life, you stumble upon a tiny brontosaurus, who brims with magical power, and bestows upon you the offer of a gift. It can send you back to your infancy to relive your life, with your personality and memories still intact, but there’s a catch: while everything else is the same, same house, same siblings, same uncle, same cousins, for some reason your parents will be replaced by Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Do you accept the offer? (I swear I wrote this before the Rock Vegas review)

Groov

SHAZZAM! You just turned 13 and got a letter inviting you to a secret wizarding school! You arrive and see other students buying their wizarding gear, and casting minor spells by speaking latin and flicking their wands. You walk into the wand shop and see a big glittery sign that says, "Remember, the wand chooses the wizard!" A wand immediately flies into your hand. Amazing! You recite the latin you heard and flick the wand, but nothing happens. Suddenly, you hear the wand speak in your head, "No, try again - you have to moan it pathetically, like the whiny little shite you are." You look around and see no one else. You hesitantly recite it again in the most breathy, whiny pathetic groan you can muster and magic shoots out of the wand flawlessly. You know it's this wand or nothing. What do you do?

Contender in the making

You just finished a live show and are taking pictures with fans many of which are in costume when you see a man in a damn near perfect balnor cosplay but then again the mustache is so thick and the buds are so heavy damn it could be balnor himself. He stares at murf unblinkingly with shark eyes and in his signature voice says " I'm sorry creator" What do you do?

Blubread00

You are at Disney. You are having a fun time at the park but you slowly notice that all of the mascots stare at you when you walk by. Eventually one of the mascots approach you and presses a folded piece of paper and a key into your hand leans in and whispers “save us”. As he walks away you notice ink on your hand. As you unfold the piece of paper you see it is a map and a cage symbols circled in red. What do you do?

Alex W

You go to sleep one night, and have odd dreams of the Grinch and Whoville. You wake up next morning, and see that you are covered in long, green fur. As you rush to the mirror, you realize you are The Grinch. No realistic costume costume, nothing, you are the Grinch. You realize you have been dropped into Whoville, at the start of the Grinch story (Jim Carrey edition). You have no clue how to get out, and you know nobody. No one sees anything different about the Grinch, except for Max the Dog. He is determined to prove that you are not the True Grinch, but rather an imposter living in the Grinch's body. Do you let the story play out, in hopes that finishing it lets you go back to your own body, or do you try to change things?

Carnal Crew Champion #CCC

you are offered the chance to live in a forgotten realms-like fantasy world, but you will have a boring, mundane life inside of that world. you’d be doing allright but you would never be an adventurer and never be able to learn magic. do you take the offer?

Mr.Weinerson

You’re out to lunch with your best friend and he tells you about his new girlfriend and how amazing she has been but tells you she hates when people mention her appearance. He tells you she will be arriving shortly, walking to the table is someone in a full grinch costume or hell it’s so real it could just be the grinch himself and your friend introduces her as Maranda, how long do you last till you mention she looks like the grinch?

Gold

You are waiting in line at a drive-thru restaurant, the car in front of you has been waiting at their window for a very long time. Suddenly, the driver-side door opens and out steps what appears to be someone in a very convincing Winnie the Pooh costume or, hell, it might be Pooh himself. He starts aggressively berating the staff through the window and tries to climb through the window to complain to the manager but gets stuck halfway leaving his rump and legs dangling in the air. Do you help?

Graham

You call an Uber, you get into the Prius and it turns out the driver is Sebulba. He doesn’t say anything about Pod Racing or Star Wars, but he occasionally mutters under his breath about “some kid ruining his life”. What do you do?

Kyle Smith

Your brand new office co worker pulls out a quart of creamy tomato soup from their bag and begins to drink unbuffered (room temperature and no grilled cheese). How do you reassert office dominance after such a power move?

E.E. Gads

You are at the hospital with your significant other as they give birth to your shared child. When the baby comes out they don't scream or cry, they simply say "P-A-R-T-WHY? Because I gotta!" In the best Jim Carrey from The Mask impression you've ever heard. They clip their own umbilical cord and swing it around like an old timey chain before running out of the room screaming "SOMEBODY STOP ME!" What do you do?

G.X. Barnett

You wake up tomorrow and all of the staple living food sources (beef, fish, pork, chicken, etc.) are no longer available. You need to come up with new forms of sustainable meats and the world needs to start appropriately farming them ASAP. With no hesitation, what are the first three animals that come to mind?

Eric

Your significant other has convinced you for the very first time to go on a cruise with them. It’s surprisingly cheap and you’re easily able to get the time off work. When you get to the cruise ship, despite nothing in the promotional materials, that would make you expect it you see more than one person in an extremely realistic, grinch costume, or hell, they might even be real grinches On the deck of a ship from the shore, and you don’t be a single non grinch on the ship. The person checking your tickets asks if you’re sure if you want to get on the ship signals distress to you with their eyes, but your significant other is insistent, that it would be a waste of money if you didn’t get on now. Do you get on the ship or do you let your partner go without you?

LowlyWorm

You’re at Costco and there’s a free sample stand giving out batteries. You think “cool! free batteries” and go up to get one. The attendant hands you a little cup with a AA in it. As you walk away you notice the person who was in front of you in line takes a big bite out of their free battery. You realize several other customers who got free samples— in fact, all of them— are casually chomping down on their batteries like Bugs Bunny with a carrot. If you ask anyone about it they just say “they’re free!” and smile. Do you try eating the battery? Even a little nibble?

Elias Roessler

YOU(Brian Murphy, Emily Axford, Jake Hurtwitz and Caldwell Tanner, take your pick) are having breakfast at Denny’s, America’s favorite fast food breakfast destination. You order your usual, and everything is normal. Until you get your food. When your food arrives it is all red and white striped with green sides. When you ask the waiter why, they look around nervously and tell you to stop asking questions you don’t want to know the answer and assures you the food will be good if you just try it. Curious, you look into the kitchen to see what’s going on. That’s when you see THEM. The two head chefs. One chef is wearing an incredibly realistic Jim Carrey grinch costume. Or hell… it could be the grinch himself. The other is in an incredibly realistic live action Cat in the Hat costume, with all of the rest of the cooks dressed in Thing one and Thing two costumes. Looking around, you begin to notice other strange things. The Denny’s font is slightly Whoish, the name tags of the waiters all say things like “Horton” and “Cindy Loo.” Suddenly you are approached by the same waiter who tells you to sit down and enjoy your food otherwise you will “join the who crew”. What do you do?

Ashlyn McCrorie

You’re in a Time Machine and while you’re at the controls, the switch gets stuck toggling between 500 years Future and 500 years Past. Landing in a random land location on Earth, would you be more likely to survive 500 years in the past or 500 years in the future?

Fabrizio Moreno

You are walking to your home with (insert person or being of your interest in this episode) when you find a powerful wizard offering you a deal, which is weird because you didn't know that magic was real but whatever. The wizard offers you a life without necessities and problems, a life of luxury and lavish if you want, but in exchange you must give something. If you accept he will toss a coin, where the results are that you either give up all the bad moments you HAD or all the good moments you WILL have. The key points are that: 1. Whatever moments you loose will be replaced by normal mundane situations. 2. This will not change your pesonality as it is today, and 3. Even if you loose all the future good moments this will not change your life of luxury and lavish lavish Do you take the deal? Ps (read after a decision is made) Like i said before, as far as you know magic isn't real, so you could run away, cause most likely it's a weird person.

Stevie

Would you?

James W

You're the game master of a D&D campaign you're starting in just a couple weeks, and one of your players is having trouble finding a character they want to play. It's the day of the first session and you finally get a message from the player, which simply says, "I'll give you $20 if you let me play this homebrew class I found on Reddit". You click on the link they sent you for a whole new class for D&D, called Boomer Pooh. You read over the Reddit post and it is the most bonkers unbalanced homebrew you have ever seen. As you finish reading over it and prepare to respond to your friend, you get another message saying "Please, this is the only thing that will make me happy". What do you do?

wilson menary

The four of you are enjoying cappuccinos on a patio, when magic button appears on the table in front of you! Emily presses it! She immediately vanishes! Suddenly a man jumps from the bushes, he is dressed in a perfect Fred Flintstone costume, or hell it’s so realistic, it could be the Fred himself. “Don’t press that button, or you’ll be teleported to bedrock with only a loincloth, and 12 clams to your name! The only way to get back is to die! It won’t hurt, but mentally it will seem real” Fred screams. Knowing Emily is there, do you press the button and set off on the quest to find her and bring her home?

Flying Mongeese

Your friend has set you up on a blind date. They do not tell you much other than they are a great guy with a strange fashion sense and they will have a rose in a book a la You’ve Got Mail. You are waiting in the restaurant when a person in a Grinch costume, hell maybe the actual Grinch, comes to the table with a rose in a book. He seems charming and nice, but not what you expected. After a few minutes of talking, a man in a Crash Bandicoot costume, hell maybe the actual Bandicoot, taps on the Grinch’s shoulder saying you are HIS date. He also has a book with a rose. The two begin arguing and seem close to physical altercation. Everyone around the restaurant begins to look at YOU as if expecting you to solve the problem. What do you do?

James M

It’s Christmas Eve, you have set aside your milk and cookies and taken yourself to bed. In the middle of the night you hear an awful clatter, not on the roof but in the living room down the stairs. You carefully take yourself to the staircase where you can see two intruders arguing by the Christmas tree. One of them is scrawny and green, the other a gorilla wearing a red tie with DK on it. You watch as the grinch tries to steal the tree but donkey kong insists that it is not worth stealing and that they should just throw barrels at it instead. They argue for what feels like hours and still haven’t come to a conclusion. Do you help? Do you go back to bed? What do you do??

Ziv like Steve

You wake up, sitting in the drivers seat of your car with your hands on the wheel. You don't remember how you got here -- last you remember, you were at a grocery store buying grinch-mellons for a party (maybe the it was the grinchmellon fumes?). You turn and see a man in a Grinch costume sitting next to you-- or hell, maybe it's the Grinch himself. He is pointing a boxing glove at your head like a gun. Weird. The Grinch says "I am so tired. I would give you my power, if you would take it. You will be able to fit effortlessly through any hole, slide under any door or down any chimney. But there is a catch. All of your body hair (neck and down) will naturally grow florescent green, like mine. It won't be any different except in color. Additionally, my spirit will guide you, and you will hallucinate seeing me in various places in your day to day life. Sometimes, I will be upset, and attack you with my boxing glove a bit, but only one in fifty times you see me (every two weeks or so)." The Grinch vanishes into green glitter, scattered across the passenger seat and dashboard, leaving you alone in your car to think about it. You are in a parking lot ninety miles from your home. How did you get here? Is this really happening? Do you accept?

The Broox

You excitedly call your father to tell him all about how you were randomly selected to participate in a game show hosted and judged by chefs Gordon Ramsey and Guy Fieri. You explain how you have done well so far and you are on a short break right before final judging. You elaborate that they are clearly leaning into the absolute meanest version of Gordon and that Guy is trying to keep pace but clearly doesn’t have the same levels of rage inside him. They have to do many, many takes of Guy insulting contestants because he keeps messing it up and isn’t convincing. Finally, you tell him that somehow this is all going to air this evening and give him the details about how to find it on the TV. Your dad says “That’s great kiddo…” followed by an awkward laugh, a pregnant pause, and then “Hey, don’t do anything that might make the family look weak”. Confused, you respond “What?” and he vaguely lays out that he has “something cooking with the Yoshi’s” and they are currently vetting him and, by extension, the family. Anything that might make the family look weak could cause the deal to fall through and might possibly endanger the family. Even more confused, you say “The Yoshis?” and he responds “Yeah, the Japanese organized crime guys”. You clarify by asking if he means the Yakuza and he says “Probably, you know those Pokemon words better than me. Got to run, looks like they just pulled up.” Immediately after being hung up on, a nervous Guy Fieri approaches you and says that he really needs this job; that he owes the mob “so, so much money” and they will absolutely make him and his family “sleep with the fishes” if he doesn't repay them. He is afraid the producers are thinking about replacing him for not being mean enough. He would really appreciate it if you could cry when he says harsh things during judging but stay dry eyed when Chef Ramsy chews you out. It would go a long way he claims and, he will totally hook you up with doney sauce for life if you come through for him. Seconds after Guy pitches you on never ending donkey sauce you are approached by Gordon. He is succinct and to the point. He knows what you and Guy just talked about and he won’t stand for it. If you cry for Guy and Guy alone he states that “my friend will ruin your life”. As he says this he gestures over his shoulder with a nod to a porta-potty you hadn’t previously noticed before. Just as you look, out steps a man in a Grinch costume, or hell it is so realistic it could be the Grinch himself. He never breaks eye contact with you while he walks over to craft services, grabs seven individual serving sized bags of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips, and returns to the porta-potty. No one else seems to take note of a Grinch on set. By the time you look back at Gordon he has already walked off. Instead walking directly towards you is a PA telling you it is time to get back to your position on set as final judging is about to begin. What do you do?

garett144

You are approached by a mysterious man offering you 1 billion dollars, in exchange though all the cows in the world will disappear. No one will know it was you. Do you take the deal?

Ronan Cowsill

You drive a 2003 Honda civic that functions as a normal car except the trunk is magical. One a week when you open the trunk of the civic anything you want up with a value of up to $1,000 appears. The catch, 1 in every 10 times that you open the trunk a strange man in a cartoonish 1980s detective outfit is laying in there, before you can fully figure out who he is all you hear is “Go Go Gadget Ball Blaster” as a cartoon boot flys at unrecognizable speeds right into your balls. The man then closes the trunk on himself and disappears. In addition if anyone other then you sees the strange man they see him tied up and gagged in your trunk as you are hunched over laughing at him and then slam the trunk instead of him absolutely obliterating your balls and closing himself in. Do you take it?

Graham Hogan

You meet the love of your life, perfect for you in every way, except they have one oddity: you must be blindfolded whenever you have sex. Any time you ask why they refuse to tell you, but insist it’s for your own good. Years have gone by and you’re just too curious so one night you decide to look. As you take the blindfold off you see a figure who can only be described as grinchesaue. You’re not sure if it’s your partner or if it’s actually the grinch, the costume is just that good. They haven’t noticed that you’ve taken your blindfold off, what do you do?

Joe Lenton

You are visiting your significant other’s family for the holidays. On Christmas Eve, you arrive and their mom greets you with a warm hug and a cup of cocoa. Everything is delightful, until your significant other asks “where’s Dad?” And their Mom replies: “oh, he’s still at work. He’s got a lot of houses to visit. He’ll be home in a bit. Try not to bother him though, you *know* how much he hates Christmas!” Amongst the merriment, you look at the family photos in the hall, and there, clear as day, with his arm around Mom, is the Grinch. Maybe it’s just a guy in a Grinch costume, but if so, that’s a little strange for a family portrait, no? When you ask them about it, your significant other just says “I don’t really know what my dad does for work,” and gets uncomfortable if you address it further. Come to think of it, you’ve actually never *met* their father all this time! Soon after, their Mom calls out and says “Dad will be home in 20 minutes!” The perfect length of time to get away? Or are you in this, come what may?

jared Blewett

You are getting into your car one morning. You are suddenly approached by a man in a trench coat and large hat. The man says that they need your help. Their family is trying to get rid of them due to having quote "no style no grace" the man removes their hat to reveal they are actually an orangutan from the hit N64 game Donkey Kong 64. They offer your 10,000 bananas to get them out of state discreetly. Do you help Lanky Kong.

Totally Offside

You are at a local fair at the end of summer; cotton candy in hand, a ferris wheel in the distance, life is good. As you explore the fair grounds, you come across a tented area where an elderly man is selling fortune telling services. You think "Why not? Could be fun!" However, when you sit down to talk to him, he reveals that he is actually a sorcerer with only one power. He can grant you the ability to gain full control over your sense of taste. But, in exchange, your sense of smell gets randomized whenever you use this power. For example, you can make a bowl of spinach taste like a perfectly cooked steak but now ice cream smells like fish, your pillow smells like grass clippings, etc. Everything smells different. Your senses reset to normal if you don't use your powers for a month. Do you accept this bargain?

Rob Wes

“You are on a trip for a loved one’s college graduation. They’ve decided to go back to school and after many obstacles are finally getting that degree. It is the day before the big event and you’re finishing a few brews. As you leave the soon to graduate says “I am so glad you made it. I know this trip was a lot for you but you being here really gives me confidence to start a new journey.” As they leave and you head back to the hotel, motel, or holiday inn, you hear the tell tale sound of a wormhole opening in space. A furry green figure steps out and says “Hey fucker, I’m the Grinch.” He continues “I need your help saving Christmas. We don’t have a lot of time, and I can’t really explain. But it’s gotta be you kid.” You ask how long it’s gonna take? The Grinch responds, at least a couple days. Do you take the Grinch’s hand to save Christmas and break your loved one’s heart? Or do you turn tassle tail and run back to your hotel?

Gabe Dobles

You're walking around a music festival when you happen across a mime. Intrigued by their presence you stop for the show. The mime sees you stop and chooses to involve you in their crowd work. It is immediately evident that this mime is special. They mime pulling you with a rope and you feel pulled strongly. When they mime putting you in a box you can feel the walls as if they were truly there. As they wrap up their show your amazement turns to terror as they point a finger gun at you and hold their hand out expectantly, evidently trying to mug you. Held at mimed gunpoint what do you do?

Omar Mtz

Your are famous Podcaster and your are doing live shows. You and your team come up to the stage and the crowd go wild and cheer for you and the rest of them. As you go to sit down on your spot you notice something strange in the first row sits. You make a double take but yes, there is a person wearing a Grinch costume, is so realistic that you think he is the actual Grinch. Nobody next to him seems suprise, he is wearing the merch that is been sold outside and has a bucket of popcorn. You wishper to your cohost next to you about it, but they don't see it and ask you if you are feeling okay. What do you do?

mud cutlet

You are shopping at the grocery store with your partner, passing end cap after end cap of stacked high bottles of juice. “Must be a promotion,” you think to yourself. Suddenly someone shoves you forcefully aside, knocking you into one of the many pyramids of juice. Liquid goes flying, spilling everywhere. You turn to see who did this to you, and your eyes fall upon the great gazoo. He turns, looks at you, and shoves you again saying “don’t fuck with me dum dum” and turns to leave. Your partner is confused about what you’re doing, you realize with a shock that no one except you can see him. Managers are approaching swiftly, and you can assume police are enroute. When you look outside you see the great gazoo smoking a cigarette staring daggers at you. Do you explain what happens?

Postmodern Prometheus

You’re in a WWE Wargames match. Who from the frankly cursed NADDPOD cinematic universe do you each choose to be on your team of 5? You will be competing against a team made up of the remaining members of the NADDPODCU.

Jerrid M

You find a magic dnd lamp and a genassi appears to grant you a wish. You can either provide one greater healing to anyone in real life or…. Give the someone wearing a grinch costume that is so realistic, hell it could be the real grinch, one wish spell that affects all of humanity but you can’t influence his decision. Which do you choose?

Izzy R

You are getting dinner with a large group of friends at an extremely fancy restaurant. The server, who is over six feet tall and visibly jacked under the serving uniform, comes to take everyone’s order, and they suggest the evening special to only You specifically. The evening special is only advertised on the menu as “The Evening Special”. Your friends all seem to know exactly what it is and encourage you to try it. The server is grinning widely and painfully, and has not blinked once the entire time. What do you do?

kasey newell

You come home from your 9 to 5 your best friend is on your couch watching TV confused you go make food. When opening the freezer you see a tall pot full of ice with all your silverware trapped within you look around and see green fur on the sill of an open window and grinchy foot prints outside, and your friend who has been here the whole day swears he knows nothing about it. What do you do

Ziv like Steve

You are invited to play wheel of fortune, broadcasted on public television at prime time and with the possibility to win a lot of money. It's a good thing, too, because Crash Bandicoot has been showing up at your door and shoving you every time you go outside your home. Crash has told you that he "is immune to the police" and won't stop unless you pay him a million dollars -- and that's exactly what you could win on this game show! But when you get to the set, the staff tell you that the usual host had to leave but called in a substitute. When you get to the stage, you see that the substitute game show host is a man in the grinch costume -- or hell, maybe it's the Grinch himself. You are performing really well, but every time the cameras are off for an ad break, the Grinch approaches and grumbles at you that the "money is for ruining christmas" and that the last three winners have had terrible car accidents in the days following their win. The tone is threatening. Do you try to win?

ZZ Digital

You hear a knock at the door, and when you answer it you see a figure wearing a slapshod recreation of samurai armor. But the person wearing this armor is wearing an extremely realistic grinch costume, or he'll, for all you know it could be the grinch himself. He tells you in an extremely bad imitation of a Japanese accent that he is now your servant for life and will do whatever is asked of him. He will not remove the armor because an attack could come at any time and acts confused whenever you bring up the grinch costume. He does act faithfully, but always fulfills your orders in as grinchy way as possible. He doesn't seem to sleep, and roams the house at night in his clanky armor. And at the slightest admonishment he will begin to commit seppuku unless stopped. Also you do have to feed him

Nate Otts

You work in sales at an insurance company. You are on a meteoric rise at the company, crushing every sales figure set by your co-workers. You are set meet the director of a huge company who is looking at your insurance company to insure hundred of their employees. If you seal this deal, your career and future are set. In the meeting room, it is just you, the director, and his secretary taking notes. But with the director, tucked under his arm as he walks in is a small pig. He sees your curious glare and explains he brings Thomas the pig with him in all meetings because he is a good judge of character. He sets the pig down and it runs over to you. The director leaves the room for moment to take a call the pig bites your leg badly gashing it. The secretary sees, begins sweating and looking nervous but says nothing. When the director returns he sees the pig over by you, and not seeing the gash assumes the pig likes you. The secretary nervously glances around but remains silent. You must hide the gash and avoid the pig for the rest of your time here. How do you go about this meeting?

Chad Rhiness

You are playing for Tottenham Hotspur against Arsenal in the North London Derby. It’s been a grueling 90 minutes and you’re tied 1-1 in extra time. You slip a through ball to Sonny and he makes a clinical touch to find some space. Raya is quickly off his line, but miscalculates and takes out Sonny. Penalty! Raya and Sonny are both hurt. Sonny would usually take the shot, but he hands the ball to you instead: I trust you. You can do this. Arsenal substitutes their keeper in favor of a “penalty specialist.” There have been rumblings about a recent big signing, but nobody has seen this mysterious new player. In a bizarre move, they appear to be bringing on their mascot. At least he looks like a mascot. The new keeper steps straight up to you as you put the ball on the spot. You get a good look at his strange animal-like face. His spindly fingers furred fingers. A paunchy belly bulging from the middle of his kit. In an attempt to psyche you out, the backup keeper seems to be wearing a very convincing Grinch costume. Or. Hell. For all you know, this might be the Grinch himself playing for Arsenal in the North London Derby. The Grinch shoves you. The ref shouts at him to back off and get on his line. He does so, but continues yelling obscenities at you as you step back and prepare to take your shot. Tottenham’s hopes of beating their longtime rivals and winning the league are on your shoulders. Where do you put your shot to beat the Grinch?

Shel B Kennas fav SG wishing you a happy Bog-oween

You are at the royal rumble and they announce that a lucky audience member will be selected to wrestle a mystery champion in the ring for charity, and SURPRISE! It's you. As you suit up in the locker room, you discover your opponent is none other than Crash Bandicoot. He comes over to introduce himself and quietly, so only you can hear, whispers "I'm going to kill you unless you take a dive." As you get pushed out to the ring in front of the uproarious crowd, you hear over the loud speakers "As a reminder, in order for the Grinched Hart Childrens Hospital to receieve 2 million dollars, our lucky audience member must last more than 2 minutes in the ring against Crash" Crash looks at you and does the finger across the neck thing and nods, unblinkingly. Do you take the dive, knowing you'll be hated for denying the childrens hospital donation, or do you risk it to become a folk hero?

Thom van Tijn

You are given a first class ticket for you and a few friends and/or family, plus an all-expenses paid vacation to the destination. You board the airplane and are seated with your companion(s). Because you are in first class you're seated first, but you don't notice anyone else lining up for the flight. As your ticket is checked the person gives you a worried, almost pitiful look, but doesn't say anything. After you're seated with your bags stowed you notice a planes worth of Oompa-Loompas start to board. Each one of them gives you a dirty, disgusted, or downright hateful glance, but doesn't say anything. If you try and address them they ignore you. You notice that none of them are allowed to sit in first-class and get the sense that you might be the reason. As you're sitting there you can feel them staring at you. You know that if you get up and leave you'll miss out on this opportunity. If you ask your companion about it they don't think it's weird and are really insistent that you go. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity and they think you're being paranoid if you say you want to get off. The flight crew will serve you but refuse to address the Oompa-Loompas. They act possibly overly nice and still give you those worried glances and pitiful looks. Do you stay on the plane.

Trainer Erin

You wake up in your bed your mom has breakfast ready to table. It’s your 10th birthday. How exciting it’s the day you get to go pick your familiar. your mom wishes you luck and you rush off to professor Murphy’s lab. Professor Murphy says “happy birthday! just like my nephew. I have a gift for each of you. I have three familiars for you to choose from.” three pedestals appear with a different color ball on top. professor Murphy says “in the green ball, you will find the rascally creature, Pawpaw, he will run with you on any adventure and provide great aid in battle. In the red ball you’ll find the magical flying familiar, Bookvar. He can have a bit of a sassy mouth, but his fire skills do make up for this in battle. The blue ball holds a nimble duck creature, Foster. It has a surprising dark side. It will wash away any of its enemies and battle. it is your birthday and time for you to start on your adventure to become a familiar master. You can choose only one of these familiars. please choose wisely.” Which familiar do you choose to go on your adventure to become a familiar master? After you selected your familiar, you see a child dressed up as a Grinch, or it may actually be the Grinch himself, walk into the lab. Professor Murphy says “nephew Grinch you’re here just in time our friend here has collected his familiar. It is your turn to choose.”

Miguel

You are heading through an ocean diving experience. Along with your crew, there is a man who appears to be in a very convincing Indiana Jones costume or, hell, it might be Indiana himself. As you move, you hear the man in the costume muttering to himself about a new discovery and how it belongs in a Museum. When you all dive down into the water, you get separated from the group by a vortex, and the next thing you know you find yourself in the lost city of Atlantis. The merfolk inside are in the middle of committing ritualistic sacrifice. However, when they notice you they give you a wide and friendly smile. You can't communicate with them because of a language difference, but the Merfolk all very nicely and kindly guide you out of their city, waving goodbye as they do. They even give you a small pretty rock to remember them by. As you exit, you take a mental note of the entrance and manage to regroup with the rest of the crew. The man in the Indiana costume is talking about "a lost city" and how he couldn't find it. What do you do?

Benjamin Bulgrien

You are invited to be a player for a 24 hour DnD celebrity charity stream (for the charity of your choice). You were told by the DM (of your choice) you should craft a character for a low fantasy gritty adventure. You are not told the identities of the 3 other players and that the reveals the day of would add to the anticipation of the event but that they were "High Profile". You are the last character introduced to the table to a seemingly light amount of applause and when you arrive you see your other players. To your left is WWE Superstar John Cena playing a half-orc Barbarian named lil Tony. To his left is QB for the Buffalo Bills Josh Allen who reveals that he is playing a flying sword named John Elway. The final participant is a man in a hyper realistic Grinch Costume. Hell, it could be the Grinch himself, who reveals that he is playing a human in a sonic outfit with commoner stats. The session starts off normal, however quickly, everytime you take an action or make a comment, you will mis-speak and the Grinch then bullies you into submission. Even as you begin to plead with the other players and DM, they side with the grinch and join in bullying you for every little mistake. The crowd always has a strong laughing reaction to the bullying and when you plead with them they boo you. Would you take this humiliating job if you knew that you would raise a significant amount of money for your cause.

Thom van Tijn

You get to become the 25th best in the world at any one thing you want, however you notice that every time you do it, you lose one of your senses for an equal amount of time.

Tim C

You’re at home enjoying a quiet night with some close friends when you hear a knock at the door. You go to answer it, thinking it’s your friend Tyler who had to work late at the DMV. Instead, you come face to face with former US Attorney General Eric Holder. He steps into the room and hurriedly closes the door before collapsing to the ground. His suit is torn and it looks like he was in a fight recently. He grabs your hand and says “It’s all true. Sonic. The Flintstones. Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze. You have to get me back to Washington,” before passing out. In the distance, you hear the faintest of sirens. What do you do?

Nick McCornack

You are at a birthday party for your child’s classmate in mid July. It’s in a backyard, and they went all out. Full slip n slide/bounce house combo. For the most part it’s been pretty chill, some mild gossip about Carol’s drinking, but nothing too crazy. About an hour in you see the Birthday Girl’s dad head inside to grab another beer. At most two minutes later you see a green blur in your peripheral vision and turn to see a man in a perfect grinch costume, or hell, it could be the grinch himself, rounding the corner of the house. He is sprinting, eyes on the slip n slide bounce house. Nothing in his way is spared, including several children sent tumbling to the ground, your own daughter among them. He dives into the bounce house, again sending kids flying, then leaps down the slip n slide leaving matted clumps of green fur behind. He then sprints away evading any attempts at capture. He stops by the party favors table and takes enough gift bags that not all the kids will get one now and then makes good on his escape. A couple minutes later the host of the party returns, suspiciously wet, but denies any accusations and seems genuinely flabbergasted by the tale. His wife looks furious at him. What do you do?

cc

You have been terrorised by a man in a grinch costume (or hell, it could be the grinch himself (for almost a year now. he is incessant. He shows up at your house in the middle of the night pulling all the table cloths off your tables and making an overall mess, He watches you through your windows, skulks around you and is generally stalkerish. When you move to escape him. It takes him mere days to find you. The police have gotten involved, your family are worried for you and your partners safety. One day you hear a loud crash and a scream from outside. When you hurry outside to see what happened you see no sign of your partners car or your partner. all you see is the grinch splayed out on the road, looking seriously injured. you notice that his grinch mask went flying from the crash, and you see identify of the man who has been terrorising you for almost a year now is, none other than the lead singer of popular american alternative emo rock band from newark new jersey, gerard way. Do you call an ambulance for Grinch way, who has been terrorising you for almost a year now? do you turn a blind eye and watch millions of people mourn for your stalker unaware of the trauma he caused you? Where’s your partner in this whole time? did your partner attempt to murder grinch way?

TheTimePig

You can talk to all animals and hold conversations with them, however you must spend 5 consecutive months of each year as a random animal. You do not get to choose this animal, if you take the deal, you will wake up one morning and be transformed into some random creature.

Brandon

You can either have all the powers of sonic, but when you're in any water (pool, tub, shower, hot tub, etc) the Sonic running out of air music plays diagetically, OR you get all the powers of the grinch, but when you're in a bad mood "you're a mean one, Mr Grinch" plays diagetically. everyone can hear the music, and will ask where it's coming from in either case, and you have to explain why the music is playing in either case.

Anna Yuan

You wake up one morning to the chirping of song birds. A mouse scurries across your windowsill and you swear you hear it humming a sweet melody. As you walk to the bathroom to wash your face you practically glide across your floor. You look up to the mirror over your sink see your favorite Walt Disney World character staring back at you. It must have been that funky apple you ate last night!!!! Which character would you see staring back at you, and why? (Additional details, assume you are now stuck as this character living in the real world today, forever.)

BEEFCAKE

You're walking through the forest when a chipmunk comes out, wearing a leather jacket and smoking a cigarette. He says "you came to the wrong neck of the woods. We don't like your kind around here." He then starts making a clicking sound with his mouth. You feel the Earth Rumble around you and six dolphins with switchblades emerge from the ground and start walking on their tails circling you. One of the dolphins takes out a photograph of your grandmother and starts smooching it. What do you do?

Hakari

Two hypotheticals: 1) You & your partner go to sleep and when you wake up you see that your partner has turned into a carrot. What do you do? (Note: You are not having a psychotic break. You 100% know the carrot is your partner and they have the lifespan of a normal Carrot) 2) You and your partner go to sleep and when you wake up your pet has turned into a human child. What do you do? (Example: If your pet is 5 years old they become a 5 year old child with the intelligence of a 5 year old and all they know is that you are their parents. As a reminder, this child does not have a SSN or any documentation.)

Nicolas P.

You are at an amusement park with a younger family member (kid, niece, nephew, etc.) and they want to go on the bumper cars. You wait in line, get in a tandem bumper car with your family member, and buckle in. The bumper cars start and everyone seems to be having a fun time. Then, from out of nowhere, a man in an impeccable grinch costume, or hell, he could be the grinch himself, comes around the corner with an extremely fast bumper car. It looks like he has souped it up in some way with his grinchly knowledge. He starts slamming into other bumper cars at extremely fast speeds, and seems to be hurting people, but not super badly (minor whiplash and bruising). The workers are watching and say nothing except, "The grinch can do what he wants." You can unbuckle and confront the grinch, but you will be stepping out into bumper car territory. What do you do?

DMCDawg

You enter a bank to make a deposit. You join a short line in front of the only available teller and notice the man in front of you is dressed very strangely and fidgeting a lot. He has on a long gray trench coat and a fedora pulled low over his eyes. He glances in your direction, and for a split second, you catch a glimpse of his face. Neon blue fur-like needles surround bright green eyes, that dart nervously from left to right. You glance to the floor and see a flash of a yellow tail poking out of the bottom of the coat. Correction, 2 yellow tails. Sonic and Tails appear to be robbing this bank, dressed as a single human man. Or maybe they’re up to something else. Before you can do anything, Sonic sees that you’ve made him and in a frantic whisper, he begs you not to give him up, as Doctor Robotnik is holding Sally Acorn hostage, and whatever he and Tails are doing is vital to her rescue. What do you do?

Scrumblina Brumblina

You're driving to your prestigious 9-to-5 job, you're stuck in heavy traffic, it's down to the wire, and you NEED to get to work on time because there is a no tolerance policy for tardiness. All of a sudden, you hear the Rolling Stones blaring across the highway as a massive pick-up truck with overly sized wheels rumbles up beside you. From your periphery, you see the driver signaling you to roll your window down. Reluctantly, you look over and see that it is a person dressed as Winnie the Pooh. At least, you think it's a person. It couldn't actually be Winnie the Pooh, right? They tell you, in an uncannily accurate Winnie the Pooh impression, that they have a short cut to get you to work on time. All you have to do is pull off to the side of the highway and they'll "take you to the Hundred Acre Wood." Do you go with this Winnie-lookalike, or do you take your chances in traffic?

josh howard

You're having your morning coffee when you hear a knock at your door. You open it to find every DnD character you've ever played, and they're having a heated argument. After getting them to calm down one of them finally tells you what they're arguing about. They're debating which of them you would Marry, Fuck, or Kill. They will not leave until you answer. What do you do? P.s. if you don't answer, Crash Bandicoot will show up and beat you up.

Logan Nash

you just had a wonderful week at Disney world with your significant other and are now wrapping up your vacation by going to universal studios. because your SO loves minions, you aren't too surprised when early in the day they ask you to be in a picture with them and Gru, as the picture is taken, out of the corner of your eye you see your partner get on one knee and you look at them as they start to propose, with a very expensive looking rate that looks just your style, and they say "let's be despicable together forever" How do you react?

Kuzco's Poison

Your doorbell rings and for some reason you answer. It is the Grinch, post heart growth. You’re brunch buddies on good terms but he is not long for this world. He begs you to take on his Grinchly mantle when he is gone. Only true believers (of the grinch’s existence) can do this so it’s basically gotta be one of the justices or bailiwick Jeff. If you accept you will physically become the Grinch but remain the same mentally. Your only duty will be to be very visibly engaged with Christmas every year, and occasionally do surreptitious roller coaster repair. If you refuse, the Grinch’s powers will disperse when he dies, creating one new small hearted Grinch for EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY. He doesn’t know if this will include birthdays. What do you do?

Kyle Conrad

You are driving your car through the city when at the next red light, someone opens your car door. Before you can protest, Ben Schwartz, Idris Elba, Colleen O'Shaughnessey, and Jim Carrey get into your car. They tell you that they're actually Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Doctor Eggman, and they need your help to find Shadow. They show you a picture of Keanu Reeves, and demand you take them to his house so they can put a stop to him once and for all. What do you do?

Rob Wes

You leave a Barnes and Nobles and see a A figure in a black hoodie hunched over by a cartoonish metal trash can. Upon approach the figure spins around with frenzy in their eyes and ask hey can you pass me that wrench. Holy halibut it’s Bruce Wayne! He’s dismantling a chainsaw, but the work is sloppy and he’s a lil too eager to get that wrench. You do see blood on the chain, and notice that he has some on his hoody as well. You’re holding the wrench… Do you bonk Bruce before he breaks the chainsaw? Or do you help Batman destroy this diabolical machine?

Rob Wes

I go home

Katie Kenig

It's Thursday. It's been a long, stressful week at work. You've been helping co-workers while also trying to get your own to-do list done. You look at the clock. It's almost time for your favorite relaxing weekly ritual - going to Subway to eat a perfectly proportioned sandwich. You've been doing this for years and you've figured out the best combination of ingredients for you - double meat, extra cheese, tons of veggies, just the right amount of condiments. You find the walk to Subway relaxing and helps to reset your mind from the chaos at work. But when you arrive, you see a sign that says "new policy: double meat OR extra cheese, not both" What?! You stand in line and see one of the workers who recognizes you as a regular. You ask about the new policy and they explain apologetically that it started earlier in the week and is strictly enforced. What do you do?

Keenan Meadows

You’re going out for the lead part in the new star wars movie, and your agent gives you a tip that this director hates funny business. You get to the audition and are given a scene to read and knock it out of the park. The casting director, director and crew are laughing their asses off during the funny scene, and giving you silent, rapt attention when you go dramatic. It’s such a hit that the casting director offers you the part on the spot. You accept, how could you not turn down your dream role? You head back to your car, lower the mirror and crack a smile. But then, to your horror, you realize that your front right tooth appears to be missing! You run your tongue over your teeth and realize that the big bean burrito you had for lunch left one of its black beans on your tooth. It was there for the entire audition. Do you remove your real tooth to try and secure the part of a lifetime? Or do you come clean to the director and risk losing the part to this very funny business?

John Humphrey

Your neighbour is out of town for two days and asked you to feed their parrot once daily while they're gone. A task you're more than happy to help with because they've always seemed like a nice guy. The neighbour prefaced this task by saying the parrot, named rainbow, is generally well behaved but can be "a bit mouthy at times" and encouraged you to ignore the parrot if it's "being a bit cheeky". The first day you go to feed the parrot, it glares at you while you approach and begins speaking perfect English in a deep British accent, addressing you by name and making graphic threats to you and the people you love. Shaken you put some food in the bowl and leave as quickly as you can. Do you return to feed the parrot the next day? Do you confront your neighbour about the heinous threats their parrot made? Or do you simply try to forget this even happened and attempt to go on living a normal life?

Joseph Hunter

You've just moved into a new place. It's the first place you lived at by yourself, so you go down to the store to get a few things. You're in the aisle with the cooking utensils when you are approached by a man in a large trench coat. He proceeds to open it and you see a glimmering gold spatula. He offers it to you at the same price as the store spatula, but tells you a6ny food you cook or touch tastes like the best thing in the world, but there is a 50% chance you're cooking will give you and anyone you cook for explosive diarrhea for 24hrs. You can't control it your food always tastes amazing. Imodium and things like it aren't able to stop the diarrhea, no matter what you do there will be a 50% chance with everything you cook. Do you take the spatula?

Ryan Hallock

You and a group of friends have a long-standing D&D campaign that's been going on for a couple of years. It's the holiday season and you all decide that a Christmas-themed one shot sounds like a fun change of pace. Your DM messages the group and says that he has a friend who has wanted to try D&D for a while and got very excited when he heard about the Christmas one-shot, and asks if he can join. Everyone agrees that the one-shot would be a good low-stakes opportunity to introduce a new player, so the DM invites his friend. On the day of the session, the DM introduces his friend, and in walks someone in an impeccable Jim Carrey Grinch costume, or hell, it's so realistic it could be the Grinch himself. Nobody reacts to this like it's abnormal, so you begin playing. As the session progresses, the Grinch is generally unhelpful and antagonistic, remarking that he's going to ruin Christmas. Everyone seems to be having a good time and appears to be unbothered by the Grinch's antics, but you are having an absolutely miserable session. After the session concludes, the Grinch declares that he had a great time and would love to join the rest of the campaign, and everyone else wholeheartedly agrees. Do you resign to a life of Grinch-filled sessions, or do you object to the Grinch joining the campaign?

Walt&Pepper

One crispy fall day, you are offered a chance to enter in a contest at a magical apple orchard. You have 10 minutes to pick as many apples as you can. These magic apples are guaranteed to produce the best apple deserts (like apple pies and apple cider donuts) when you bake them. Not only that, but like the ancient proverb says; an apple a day, keeps the doctor away, eating an apple prevents you from getting sick that day. It will also cure all colds, flus, or seasonal allergies that you might have. It can’t cure broken bones or any physical damage, but anything else is fair game. Any apple that you get is magically replaced at the start of the next year, for all years to come. The catch? The ghost of Johnny Appleseed will be trying to kill during your ten minutes of apple picking. He can never tire, has an axe, and can chew up apples and spit out the seeds at machine gun speed. He starts at the other end of the orchard. He doesn’t automatically know where you are, and vanishes when the ten minutes are up. Do you partake in the challenge?

Paul Smith

You go out to drinks with some coworkers. You have your car, but a few people walked to the bar earlier in the afternoon. When you go to leave, a work friend asks for a ride back to work so they can grab their bike since it started raining and they don't want to walk back. As you get into your car, your coworker opens the back door and sits right behind the drivers seat, Uber-Style. Getting to that door involved taking a longer path in the rain than just hopping in shotgun. They do not address this and continue chatting normally. How do you respond?

Ben

You all find yourselves within a cavernous length if twisting halls, deep underground, France style. Each of you ends up getting separated from one another, only being able to find tracks, but miraculously unable to find each other. As you pass lit sconces on the walls, the tunnels turn from stone to bone- stacked bones. Skulls as if used as bricks make up the walls, and every hallway you've marked or thought you've passed through are now made of human skulls. As you travel deeper, it gets colder, and colder. Soon, you begin to see Frost crystallizing on the rough bone. On the bone, you begin see traces of hair, which get more and more dense, more and more vivid as you pad along in the hallways. You track the hair, and begin to hear something. Bellowing? Enthusiastic, yet.. reserved. You feel some of the hair as you turn a corner into a small room with white light, several.. tourists? Tourists, and a tall man with bright green fur, wearing a mockery of a Santa outfit. The hair in your hand.. why.. its green, itself! Hell, this really could be the grinch! You find all of yourselves meeting in the room where the Grinch seems to be introducing a gaggle of tourists to the wonders of the Catacombs below France. The Grinch speaks only French, but seems amiable, and a tourist can act as a translator. The grinch adamantly wants you to join his tour of the catacombs, but you may leave if you choose. What do you do?

Sido Hikami

You’re leaving a party after a night out with your friends. As you’re walking to your moped you see someone, running full speed towards you. As they get closer you notice that they’re in an impeccable Mr.mime costume, or hell, maybe it’s Mr. Mime himself. He stops in front of you and says “MIME, MIME, Mr. MIME!!” While pointing behind him in a panic. You then see a kid dressed in red holding a pokeball and standing in the distance, menacingly. He points at you, then Mr. Mime gets ready to throw the pokeball. Do you help Mr.mime or do you leave Mr.mime to whatever fate awaits him?

Sephiroth Did Nothing Wrong

Your work friend Amir tells you he's starting a new campaign on Roll20. It meets 2 days a week for 3 hours, but there's something special about it; if you actively participate EVERY single session, it makes you and one other person of your choice immortal. You humor him, and join in that night. The Roll20 game is named A Little Place Called Manjas, and when you enter, you see 3 other players already in: Taruk, TikTok, and Blasting Grandma. They explain they are playing Ex-Soldier, Always Badass Cloud Strife, Boomer Pooh, and The Rat Professor and His Little Chickens (from 8-Bit Book Club featuring Jake Hurwitz) respectively. Amir insists on using his DMPC, Yugo, to "guide" the party. After the tumultuous session playing as your Arcane Trickster Firbolg, The Gronch, you catch yourself in the mirror. You swear your previously ancient, 38 year old face doesn't look a day over 37.5. Do you keep playing?

Laurawr

You are about to marry the love of your life. You turn to walk down the aisle and see your fiance waiting for you, standing next to your officient Sonic the Hedgehog. One problem, you never hired Sonic to officiate. All your guests are looking at you expectantly as you walk down the aisle, and don't seem perturbed by the presence of Sonic at all. Even your fiance doesnt seem phased or surpised by his prescence. When you get to the end of the aisle, Sonic whispers in your ear "hello little kitty witty, daddy likes his chili dogs" then proceeds to begin the ceremony as if nothing is off. Do you proceed with the wedding?

Corvo_CB

You are driving your car through your uncle's suburban neighborhood, to meet them for a grill out. As you are pulling into their driveway your car hits a big "bump". You get out and don't see anything under your car, but it looks like a purple toy was knocked into the neighbors yard. You go in to your uncle's house to enjoy the BBQ. Your uncle finds you and says he wants to introduce you to their new neighbor. You are introduced to a man in an odd orange shirt, who seems a bit sad. "Sorry we were late to the party, we had to take our pet to the vet." He then shows you and your uncle a picture of a small purple dinosaur. "Thank goodness Dino is ok; but once I find out what happened, who ever was responsible will be "fossilized"." Your uncle says he has cameras facing the front yard, and offers to look at them. *Do you come clean and apologize? Or try to convince your uncle to delete the camera footage?*

ZZYZZXX

You go to bed one day after a splendid cup of tea in which you decided to put in a spoonful of old honey that you found at the back of your pantry. Knowing honey has no expiration you had no issue with using it. When you wake up you are surrounded by a bear in a crop top , a piglet in a sweater, a nude rabbit, and depressed donkey. You hear other animals in the distance laughing and talking and when look at your hands you see they are now bright green and furry. You’re in a hyper realistic grinch suit or hell you might be a grinch yourself. There is no change to your personality but you are visibly grinch like. The animals welcome you and offer you a cozy home with them but when alone in the new home you find a note hidden saying “you can’t trust them. You have to travel the 100 acres to get back home. And they will follow you to stop you once you leave the area” The animals have seemed kind so far but the note seems genuine. Do you risk staying or do you try to find your way home ?

Kelsey

Late one evening, you are playing The Witcher 3, as a storm rages outside. You jump, fumbling the controller, as there is a bright flash and crack of thunder, like your house was hit by lightning. As your eyes clear, you see Geralt standing in front of you. He offers you the ability to step in and out of the world of The Witcher and take on the abilities to truly make the most of your time there each visit. However, each time you are there, you must always keep a masquerade mask on the entire time. No one will treat you any differently because of the mask, and you get to pick the mask from a selection. He then presents four masks--a vibrant blue hedgehog, a furry green grumpy monster, a grinning ape that includes a dangling red tie, or a bright yellow, one-eyed being bedecked with goggles. Do you take the deal? If so, which mask do you pick?

Jack H

You are experiencing a peaceful Sunday afternoon at home when you hear a commotion at your front door. As you investigate, the door busts down to reveal a man in a shockingly accurate Grinch costume. Or hell, it might just be the Grinch himself. He charges into your house and starts scooping up your home decor into a sack while doing a mischievous cackle. Then who should barge through your door but a posse consisting of Benedict Cumberbatch, Ben Schwartz, and Tim Allen. Ben shouts “There he is! Get him!” They all charge in, tackle the Grinch and beat the shit out of him. They rip off the Grinch head to reveal a shockingly accurate Sonic mask. Or hell it might just be the Speedy Hedgehog himself. They then rip off the Sonic mask to reveal a shockingly accurate Buzz Lightyear mask. Or hell it might just be Buzz himself. They rip off the Buzz mask to reveal Chris Pratt! Tim shouts “Don’t you play enough animated characters?” Benedict shouts “Yeah stop trying to get in on our bag, baby.” They handcuff Pratt and take him away. Benedict turns to you and says “Don’t tell the fuzz what happened here and we will get you a part in each of our movies.” Do you call the cops?

Sneakers O’Krool

Congratulations! You are a car salesman! You are doing a fairly decent job at selling cars at Miles’ Chevy, however the car dealership name was named Ethan’s Chevy when you were hired. It must have been bought out when you were on vacation. However, it all comes clear when the new owner comes out of his office. He is an orange furred fox with two tails w/ red sneakers and his assistant comes out with all blue fur and the same red sneakers and an electric guitar on his back. You are absolutely certain this is Tails and Sonic, your new bosses. They want to talk to you about your position within the new regime at the car dealership. You could receive a totally (not) deserved promotion for a considerable pay rise, or a grave future may lay ahead of you if you step in that office. You have only a couple minutes to decide: what do you do?

Sido Hikami

No; I’m straight up going to the woods hoping that kazoo follows me, and we’re boxing. I’m throwing haymakers at this dude 🤣

Alex H.

You're at your favorite casual dining restaurant (let's assume Applebees) with your aunt and uncle, celebrating their anniversary. While waiting for your appetizers, your aunt excuses herself to go to the bathroom. A minute later, your uncle winks at you and points out someone in an extremely realistic grinch costume entering the women's restroom after her; hell, it might even be the grinch himself. As he does so, your appetizers arrive, and by the time you're finished reminding your waitress that you asked for two orders of the Neighborhood Nachos With Chipotle Lime Chicken, you look over to see your uncle gleefully scurrying off to join whatever is going on in the restroom. After a few minutes, your aunt and uncle return looking flushed and nervous, with no sign of the grinch. When you ask them what's going on, your uncle starts crying while your aunt repeatedly shushes you. When she brings you the bill, the waitress looks at you seriously and asks if the three of you "have been involved in any Grinch business tonight," and says the police are on their way. Your aunt and uncle shake their heads and everyone is looking at you. Do you rat on your aunt and uncle?

Serious goose (certified gamer)

You have studied the art of fencing your entire life, sacrificing time with friends, family, and other opportunities to hone your craft. Your hard work has finally paid off, you qualified for the Olympics and are a heavy favorite for the gold medal. In your first matchup of the olympics, you are drawn a random opponent, the name of the opponent: “Strife”, sounds familiar but you can’t seem to place it. On the day of your competition, you arrive at the arena and start your warmups. You warm up for a few hours, completely locked in and ignoring any external noises. When it’s time to start you step onto the platform and look across to see your opponent is for the first time you and are shocked to find that your opponent, “Strife” is actually Cloud Strife from final fantasy and he is wielding a massive buster sword and swinging it dangerously. He looks at you with dead eyes and says “it ends here, sephiroth. I’m actually going to kill you.” You are NOT sephiroth. You don’t know why he thinks that but after a few words back and forth it becomes clear you cannot convince him otherwise. You protest to the judge that the bustersword is clearly an illegal fencing weapon, but the judge frantically searches through the rule book and cannot find anything that outlaws it, meaning that Cloud, with his massive sword, are going to compete. When you turn from the judge to face Cloud he makes the throat slitting gesture and then goes back to practicing an omnislash. The crowd, who initially cheered for you as the favorite on your arrival, is deathly quiet, as if they are at a funeral. Your coach looks very pale, has tears in their eyes, and says “whatever happens. I’ll remember you as the best fencer I ever trained.” Do you concede the match and go home without ever having raised your saber, knowing everything you’ve given up to get here? Do you stay and fight - knowing that Cloud is out for blood? Keep in mind, you have spent your entire life studying the blade, even if nobody else believes in you, you will never be defenseless as long as you can still raise your saber to the world. What do you do?

MaidOfCake

You are walking down the street when a Bearded Man dressed in Wizards outfit jumps out from behind a bush, tossing a handful of glitter in the air. He proclaims to be a powerful and wealthy wizard. He offers to subscibe to NADDPODs Patreon at $100,000/mo as long as you serve him breakfast in bed every morning. You do not need to prepare the breakfast, you just need to serve it to him. He will give you a magic key that when placed against any door, will temporarily become a door to his tower, so that you can still tour. He says that if you accept and ever fail to "Make him feel like a special little guy by 8am everyday." You will be true polymorphed into the Grinch until 7am the next day. 3 Failures per month and You will owe him that months money back and spend the next month as the Grinch. Do you accept his offer?

Steven Hoffart

You arrive at a Days Inn ( by Wyndham) on a long drive through the heart of America, on a roadtrip to Yellowstone. You didn't book on advance and enter the lobby. At the desk sits a woman in a robe like dress, she says you're in luck as they have one last room for you to stay in. As she checks you in, and has already passed you your room keys, a man in a full wizard outfit, pointed hat and grey Gandalf robes, staff in hand, leaves a manager's room that's glowing a faint blue. He looks over the woman's shoulder and says "oh no, we can not give them that room, it's for special guests". The woman looks at the man with a profound understanding and nods, and requests you give her back the keys and find somewhere else to stay tonight. What do you do?

Scott

Hey y'all. As you know, we live in a world filled with unoriginal cash grab remakes and soulless corporate reboots or sequels of many of our favourite movies, games, shows, etc. We need to get in on that! What beloved property would you choose to suckle at until the dried husk if what it once was offends even it's most die hard fan? Asking for a friend.

Gwiggs

Your body is mangled in a horrible car accident. Thankfully, though, you survive. It will take multiple expensive surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy, but your doctors expect you to make a nearly full recovery over the next 10 years. One doctor, however, offers you a different solution. He claims to have constructed a "kickass. cyborg body" that he can put your brain inside of and have you on your feet tomorrow. The procedure isn't without risks, but the chance of survival is about the same as the e surgeries you'll need to have if you choose to recover conventionally. The doctor says he'll cover the entire cost of the procedure, and your new cyborg body will be stronger and faster than your human body ever was. There is a catch though... When you look at the new cyborg body, the only word that comes to mind is "grinch-esque". Proportionately, and in terms of hair color and quantity, it looks just like Jim Carrey in the live-action Grinch movie. , if you say yes to this procedure... You could even be the Grinch yourself. Do you take the doctor up on this offer? Or do you choose to recover in your own body over the next 10 years?

Steve Baer

You and your significant other are about to sign the contract for your dream, while looking at the contract you see a line that says as payment for protection against break ins and vandalism the ninja turtles(2014 movie version)are given free reign over your kitchen and living room for an hour any day they choose and they will not clean up after themselves. You think it's a joke until you see the ninja turtles come out of the sewer and walk into a house across the street, the realtor looks at them and wave. Do you still sign the contract for your dream house?

Steven Collins

The year 2025, the moment, all of you have just arrived for your sold out NADDPOD live show in Los Angles California. The crowd erupts into cheers as you all enter the stage and get seated for what is sure to be an entertaining as hell one-shot crafted by one of you as the DM. Picture yourself as the DM tonight, you have secretly been planning and perfecting a NADDPOD How the Grinch Stole Crickmas adventure across all NADDPOD worlds in what shall be known as the collaboration to end all collabs. You reach into your pocket to grab the Santa hat you’ve secretly stashed in your tasteful Jean jacket pocket, you prepare to pull it out in dramatic fashion…. When you lock eyes with a man in the front row, he looks familiar but the stage lights make it difficult to see him clearly. Just as you reveal the hat and move to place it atop your head, time slows, you realize the man is none other than, Jim Carrey himself. The Grinch incarnate in human skin, as time has screeched to a halt, you come to this realization, still moving to don the red and white embodiment of your own undoing. You see Carrey’s eyes stare daggers at you as soon as the hat is revealed. Is he acting a part, surely he knows of the prevalence of the grinch in NADDPOD lore if he’s a fan and has come to the live show. Or is his anger fully realized, fueled by a deep grinchy resentment? Is his eyes turning a shade of yellow? Is his facial hair greener than it was a moment ago? Do you scrap all plans of continuing with the planned show, or fear the wrath of Grinch Carrey?

amelia!!

While skulking around an abandoned construction site, you are approached by the Andalite Prince Elfangor who asks for your help fighting the Yeerks and offers you morphing technology. You accept his offer without question - it feels good to be chosen - but then Elfangor informs you that Visser One and Visser Two, the highest ranking members of the Yeerk military, have taken over Sonic the Hedgehog and Crash Bandicoot and they are now hunting you down. Elfangor says “Thanks for getting them off my back. Y’all better head to the zoo and pick your morphs,” and disappears. You don’t know how, but Sonic and Crash will find you in 2 hours. What morphs do you pick for your upcoming battle?

Jack M

You are at your good friends wedding, sitting directly in line with the video an aisle seat, but only your top half is in frame. Everything is perfect, but as the ceremony begins you feel the urge, no not the urge, the absolute need to poop, a big one. If you get up to go to the bathroom you will potentially ruin the wedding video, you do however think you can self contain the shit in your pants, and hopefully only your neighbors will smell it. WHAT DO YOU DO?

Jor Elare

So, you finally have done it. You've managed to create a living Frankenstein's esque monster using an ethically sourced corpse and let's say a life-like grinch outfit. While this miracle of science is surely to be commended, you find out that your creation alternates wildly between violent bouts of horniness and existential depression. He makes everyone he's near super uncomfortable, but does not harm anyone. Do you go public?

Josh M

"The Animorphs Anniversary Dinner" It's your anniversary with your partner; you've been married for 20 years and, despite its ups and downs, you're happy as can be. You've been looking forward to this dinner for weeks, especially because it's at a the best seafood restaurant in town and you get to pick your own lobster to eat. After you arrive, you order your lobster and the waiter says you may go ahead and pick which you'd like. Right as you're about to choose, some dressed PERFECLTY as an Andalite, or hell, it could even be a real Andalite warrior, runs into the restaurant and attempts to smash the tank of lobsters, screaming "They're in there, they're in there! It's been more than an two hours since they morphed but we can turn them back!" before being tackled by security and escorted off the premises. The waiter apologizes for the interruption and again offers to let you choose your lobster from the still-intact tank, even going so far as to offer a free meal as compensation for the disturbance. Do you still go forward with choosing to eat one of the lobsters? (PS, Rachel dies in animorphs, first time listener, hate the show)

Daniel Kreider

You are teleported to World of Warcraft. You are strong enough to travel safely, though more challenging areas would prove dangerous. You can level up and acquire new gear. You are given the option of spending 10 years living the life of an adventurer while life continues in the real world without you. Once your ten years are up, you return the same as you were before, just ten years older. Your other option is to return immediately to the real world, except you are now only sexually attracted to the grinch. Do you stay or leave?

Ramsey

You're at a Demolition derby for your best friend's birthday. Your friend has been looking forward to this for weeks, and the day has been great so far-- you've all got a bucket of lemonade and a massive well-seasoned turkey leg. The music has been pumping, the demolition has been kick-ass, and your friend has been having the time of their life. The announcer comes over the loudspeaker to announce that two random audience members have been chosen to ride along on the next match for "the experience of a lifetime." There's a drumroll and a spotlight lands on your group. Sadly, your friend broke their arms last week in a roller blading accident and can't go. They look at you excitedly, so amped that you're going to get to be in the derby. You feel a little hesitant and decide to look at who your opponent will be. You see in the bleacher opposite to you, the spotlight has fallen on an old man with long grey hair, a long grey beard, purple robes with silver moons and stars across them, and a long conical wizard's hat. Your friend pushes you towards the announcer before you can protest and, even though you were closer to the cars, the Wizard(?) seems to have beaten you there. They begin to pad you up, putting you in helmets and a fireproof jumpsuit. The Wizard refuses. He hasn't stopped staring at you. The announcer begins to introduce you guys and the crowd is going crazy. You can hear your friend chanting your name, even through the crowd. You're about to get into the car with an experienced driver, but this is the last moment you have to bow out. Do you?

PuppetAnalingus

Your friends invite you out on the town Saturday night. They have an all inclusive invite to the hottest new club. This might not be your scene, but hey, free drinks. You arrive at a nondescript building with a line out the door and around the block. Your friends walk up to the bouncer and give a head nod. The rope is lifted. You’re in. You walk in to the nicest club you’ve ever seen, multiple bars serving patrons and the biggest dance floor in the world. You’re led to a VIP area where you have bottle service. Now, it’s hard to tell with the lighting, but it appears that 1 in 10 people in the club are wearing lifelike Grinch outfits. Or hell, maybe there are multiple Grinches in this club. The music stops and an announcement is made. “Grinch Juice Blast incoming!” That’s when you notice the sprinklers above the dance floor. A large man dressed as Fred Flinstone but with a Blade trench coat comes up to your group and says brusquely that “You alls should get out here. I have a job I have to Yabba Dabba Do.” His breath reeks of whiskey and you notice a green alien doll or maybe puppet peeking out of his coat. What do you do?

bbyfendie

Surprise Scenario: Everyone is Jake. You all awake the week after January 1st, only to look into the mirror and see that you are in fact Jake Hurwitz (Jake, you wake up and it's, I guess, as normal). You think its weird but hey you got stuff to do. During your first work day of the year you review the new shows that Headgum is slated to debut after months of secretive deal making (such as [redacted], [redacted], and [redacted] with [redacted]). As the week goes on, it seems like listenership for all of Headgum's shows are reaching new heights! More sponsorships are rolling in, and all seems well. However, as you review your RSS feed of choice for listening to podcasts, you notice a weird sight. The podcast artwork for one of Headgum's numerous shows includes a detailed image of a man in a Grinch costume. Or...fuck..I mean it's so goddamn good it could be the Grinch himself? As you click the episode and listen, you indeed hear the angry rantings of the Grinch (who is decidedly right of center to say the least) cutting off his co-host. You listen in horror as the Grinch tries his very hardest to "cancel" himself, the podcast, and the network for whom the podcast is hosted on. Herein lies the scenario: Two shows a month on The Headgum Network are hijacked by the Grinch and he is committed for however length of time that episode of that show is, to besmirching everyone and everything included in the production of the show. Outside of the episodes that get Grinch'd, all Headgum shows see incredible gains year over year in whatever metrics or fields they want to succeed the most in (views, patreon subscribers, tickets for shows, etc.). The Grinch hijacks the audio and video recording of the show and is able to upload the episodes directly to the RSS feeds of listeners. The only "editing" that can happen is live during the recording at the behest of the cohosts or producers present. You could legit show up to record an episode of Segments and its the fuckin Grinch there instead of Amir. If you agree to this deal, there's a 30% chance the Grinch gets you all cancelled and every Headgum related crumbles.

Mike Conroy

You wake up in a dark room with no memory of how you got there. After a few moments the lights turn on, revealing two others in the room with you: Crash Bandicoot and The Grinch, each bound in chains. Their costumes seem unbelievably realistic. Or hell, it could even be the real Grinch and Crash. A voice speaks from an intercom “Hello, I’d like to play a game. The two mythic figures in front of you have abused their powers to abuse podcast hosts with absurd hypotheticals. You must choose one to kill and take on their mantle, while the other will be given a second opportunity with their position.” Do you follow the orders of the mysterious voice and kill one of these two, and if so, which will you kill to take on their mantle?

Bruno Fant

Oh no, there are bedbugs in your home ! You've just realized that the bites you've had on your arms and legs for the past few weeks come from an infestation of the horrid little critters. In a panic, you call your young uncle, who is quick to reassure you, and gives you a phone number. "call these guys", he says, "they're the best pair in the business". You do so, and within the hour, a gruff looking gentleman is ringing at your door, alone. He asks to inspect the home, and after a quick look around, confidently says "this is nothing we can't handle. If you'll allow me to set up, we'll be getting rid of this infestation within 3 days". The price he's asking for is **very** reasonable, so you accept. He then proceeds to go back to his truck and comes back with tools and materials, and proceeds to build something at the foot of your bed. When he's done, the contraption looks very much like a cage. He then makes one last trip to his unmarked van and comes back with a giant crate. It's shaking and you can hear the sound of growling inside. He asks you to step away as he "finishes to set up". As you come back in your bedroom, a full-grown Grinch is sitting in the cage. This is NOT a man in a Grinch costume, but it seems sentient although maybe not able to speak. The gruff man says "don't worry, he only comes out at night." Their company has an extremely high rating on Google and they charge pennies on the dollar compared to others. Do you back out ?

Arwen Cana

A button is in front of you. Everytime you press this button you will recieve 50,000$ of the currency of your choice, BUT someone you know, a loose acquaintance or close friend/family, will turn into the Grinch during christmas. The Grinch will do their worst to ruin christmas/lives, your christmas will be fine. At the end of christmas a tiny hint will be given to who caused their despair. Do you press the button?

Nick P

Tomorrow is one biggest the NADDPOD live shows of your life. You've sold out the Sidney Opera House and fans across the globe have posted on social media about how excited they are to travel to Australia just to see you. There's even a write up about the show in a local newspaper. The only problem? You're seriously jet lagged and wide awake at 2am. You've tried all of the usual sleeplessness remedies – the room is dark and cool, you've made a warm mug of herbal tea, etc. – but nothing seems to work. You're tossing and turning, frustrated about your inability to sleep, when you hear a soft tapping on your window. You open the blinds slightly to see a man in a perfect Grinch costume, or hell, it's so realistic it could be the Grinch himself. The Grinch mimes for you to open the window a crack, and you do so warily. He then slides a medicine bottle through the crack in the window. The label on the bottle says it contains Ambien, and the bottle looks unopened, untampered with, and officially prescribed as though it came from a normal pharmacy. The label also has dosage information and instructions. The Grinch then mimes sleeping, gives you a thumbs up, and runs out of sight. Do you take the medication the Grinch has given you in the hopes of getting a good night sleep or risk being exhausted while performing in front of almost 6,000 people?

Andrew Whitford

You go over to your friend’s house to record an episode of a podcast that you started together with some pals. One of the things your podcast is known for is for discussing what to do in hypothetical situations. When you arrive at the studio, your friend says “hey man, just so you know, we have a special guest this week”. When you get into the studio, you see that the special guest is a man in a super convincing Grinch suit. For all you know, it could be the real Grinch, who knows. It’s your job on the pod to come up with and read the hypothetical questions. You read aloud the first question, which is a crazy hypothetical scenario involving a Grinch. After you read it out loud, the room is silent. The Grinch looks like he’s pondering something. Eventually, the Grinch says, “nah, don’t like that one. Next.” You go ahead and read your next hypothetical, which also has a silly scenario involving the Grinch, to which the Grinch stands up and says “oh, yeah, I get it, you’re a real fucking cool guy you know that?” And storms off. All of your friends are super concerned and ask why you were so rude to the Grinch. What do you do?

WakaWillis

After writing and editing the script of a lifetime, you search and finally find funding to make, star in, and produce the movie/feature of your dreams. You have near unlimited budget and creative freedom, but theres a catch. In order to recieve the funding you must include a "famous" branded character in the opposing role, your choices are either Jake from State Farm, Flo from Progressive, the AT&T girl, Mr. Clean, Colonel Sanders, and The Old Spice Guy (not Terry Crews). The characters appear as they do in the commercials and must wear their branded clothing in the movie but will otherwise act according to the script. You've waited your whole life for this chance do you take the deal and add one of these immersion breaking characters to a starring role?

Wojtek

You've just finished a marathon session of emotional D&D. You're okay, but mentally exhausted. You decide to talk a quiet walk by yourself in the woods nearby to clear your head. It's twilight in the fall and the woods are dense, glowing in the evening light, and beautiful. You near a clearing and hear a faint but unmistakable sound: it's Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional. As you tiptoe closer to see who's there, you witness a sight rumored to exist only in the nearby Pine Barrens: it's a gorgeous Emdoe and a virile Bang Buck, staring at the sky and just kinda vibing. To your surprise, the cryptids notice you but don't flee. They both stare at you intensely with clear determination tempered by resignation. They explain to you - you don't know how, but you understand every word - that the laws of their order are clear. As the person who finally caught them, you must be offered a choice. On the one hand, you may absorb their ineffable power and become the greatest emo rocker of your generation, guaranteed wealth and success. Taking this power will not physically harm the Bang Buck and Emdoe - but it will revert these two to mere deer, destined to live the life of prey. You do not know how many other such creatures there may be and they do not tell you. On the other hand, you may simply walk away and leave them be. But once you walk away, all emo music will forever sound to you like a horrible clanging of discordant sound. It will physically repulse you for the rest of your life. What do you do?

peace k.

You’re in your house, relaxing after a chaotic day at work. It’s been a complicated day today, and you’re glad to be home away from it. As you go to dig into your dinner, you hear a tapping on your window. It’s your cat/dog, who you let inside. They come sit on the couch next to you, exhibiting normal behaviors, until they out of nowhere say, “Listen, I don’t have a lot of time. There’s a car outside, waiting. I need you to get inside.” Your animal winks at you and scuttles back outside the window before you can ask any follow up questions. Do you still get in the car, or avoid it?

Jared Geden

You are partaking in a sleepover at your young uncles home in the suburbs. You and your yuncle are enjoying a playthrough of Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze when he suddenly pauses the game and stares at you with a dire look in his eyes. He pleads with you to never enter the basement of his Cape Cod style home (Very nice place honestly). He refuses to answer any questions about the basement and only responds "Please don't go into the basement, I will know if you do." while staring through you. Eventually he unpauses the game and you enjoy the rest of Tropical Freeze in silence. That night, while trying to sleep on the sofa (surprisingly comfortable), a small naked man of around 2 feet sprints past the couch and heads down the basement stairs. You hear the little guy slip and begin loudly calling for help from the bottom of the stairs. He keeps asking that you "Come into the basement before your uncle sees". What do you do?

RedRen

You are reading a book in a bar one night and two hooded figures approach you, the taller one taps you on the shoulder and says "I'm sorry but you have important decision to make". They tell you that you must (and I quote) "beat one of us at our own game" The shorter figure is revealed to be an enraged CRASH BANDICOOT, he's staring with murderous intent. You don't know what you did, but clearly Crash is out for your blood. The taller figure is revealed to be... CHUCK NORRIS Looking disheartened but determined. Crash seems like no matter what he's going to try to harm you. Chuck Norris looks like he doesn't want to do this, but he will. Who do you choose? And what do you challenge them to?

Bekah Bass

You're on trial for a murder you didn't commit. In this reality, your only options are to use a public defender assigned to you or represent yourself. You have a meeting with your public defender and he enters the room in a hyper-realistic grinch costume, or hell, its so realistic that maybe he is the grinch, with a business suit over top. He tells you that he has never lost a case and that he knows a way to get you out of this mess, but he has a sly smile and mischievous eyes whenever he's talking to you. Do you trust the grinch to be your lawyer, or do you decide to represent yourself with the current amount of criminal law knowledge you have right now?

AlolanRychu

You're sitting on the couch with a big bowl of extra spicy nacho cheese doritos and your trusty gallon soda cup, filled to the brim with the ambrosious code red mountain dew from your local gas station. You're playing your favorite game, fortnite, solo queue, with the Goku Black skin, and your controller is gripped tight in anticipation of an epic session of absolute domination. As you turn on your headset and prepare to game like a champion, static suddenly surges through the earpiece, followed by a voice breaking through: "Help!" The voice crackles though, and you recognize it immediately as the iconoc voice of your favorite blue guy, Sonic the Hedgehog from Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. "The video game world is in trouble from that evil egghead Dr. Robotnik, and I want to use the Chaos Emeralds to Tron you into the video game so we can save it. You know, like Wreck-It Ralph." He puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that it is just like Wreck-It Ralph. Upon futher questioning, Sonic reveals a few more things: he cannot tell you what video game worlds you'll visit, except that one of them will be from the notably lame N64 game Glover, but assures you that the rest will be cool as hell. After the adventure, he tells you. you will retain all the skills and powers you may be able to gain from visiting these worlds, but also that, because you are human and not a video game character, if you die in the game you die for real. "Like in Spy-Kids 3D" Sonic adds. Do you take the blue blur up on this call to adventure?

HolyBlasphemy

You are visited by an energy drink peddling wizard. The wizard offers you a deal. You are granted an impressive physique and constitution. Your muscles and bones will not degrade with age and you are immune to disease. You will also be hot as hell for your age. However, whenever you attempt to consume any liquid from a conventional receptacle, a haggard Sonic the Hedgehog will burst into the room, pour a scoop of Sonic’s Peach Ring GFuel into your liquid, mix it, then scream, “GOTTA GO FAST” in your face before rushing out. You cannot stop him from doing this. Your one saving grace is that Sonic must be able to physically mix the powder in whatever receptacle it came from, so you can avoid him by drinking from a watering fountain or faucet, for example. You can cook normally but any dish that has a noticeable amount of liquid left in it (e.g. soup) will be doused in GFuel once you commit to eating it. Despite your new and improved body, you are still susceptible to dehydration and caffeine overdose. Do you take the wizard’s deal? If so, how do you live your life while Sonic is constantly trying to push GFuel on you?

beefclapper420

Your on the side of Denali, the tallest peak in North America. You're 14000 ft up and have been training years to be here, suddenly, your guide comes in and tells you he has to go home due to an emergency, but another guide will be on the way. You wait another 2 days for your guide to come up from base camp and during that time all of your fellow climbers have talked about how accomplished your new guide is. Suddenly you see his silhoette through the snow, hes tall, erotic, and fuzzy? You realize your guide is climbing in a suprisingly accurate grinch costume, or hell, it could even be the grinch. Hes carrying all of his equipment in a hobo bag on a stick and loudly plops his way into your group tent. Not trying to judge you welcome him into your tent, where he loudly farts and blames the stench on you, and all of your tentmates believe him. He engages in grinch like antics until dinner time, where he gets a 1000 yard stare describing a harrowing rescue he carried out during a climb on k2. The next morning he once again is farting and grinching it up, and your climbing partners seem to be getting agitated at you for the Grinch's farts. He then tells you you will be his number 2 (he winks) and that you will all be attempting to summit today (a 6000ft climb). You know this will be hard but possible, and the grinch has convinced you he has done it many times before. Do you risk your life high altitude mountaineering with the Grinch or do you waste the $15000 and years training to achieve your life dream of summiting and stay at base camp.

Keanu DRAMAFACE

“The Loose Soup Scenario” It’s 3 am on a Tuesday and you’re in a nearly deserted NY subway station waiting for your ride. Without you noticing, a man in a suit approaches you holding a very full plastic grocery bag. He begs you to hold onto his bag while he goes to use the restroom and says he will be right back. You relent and he hands the bag to you. This is when you discover the bag is full of loose lukewarm egg drop soup. The man says “don’t let anyone have the soup” before running towards the nearest restroom. Nearly 30 seconds after that moment, while you’re still trying to understand what’s wrong, you feel a tap on your shoulder. Behind you is someone in an immaculate Jim Carrey grinch outfit, or, hell, it could be the real deal it’s so realistic. He is holding a small bowl and ladle and asks if he can “spot a few sips”. If you tell the grinch the man said no, ask him any questions to see if he’s starving or something, all the grinch says is something to the accord of “come oooon man, it’s just a bit of soup”. You have no idea how long the man is going to take. Do you give the grinch some soup?

Bev

Surprise scenario: You wake up and you find that you are nine years old again. This doesn't bother you, as it is summer vacation, and you spend the day having a great time playing the way you used to. However, when dinner time rolls around, you realize that your parents are dressed up a little TOO nicely for dinner around the house. It turns out they've gotten tickets fof the event of a lifetime — it's a reunion concert for a band notoriously famous for drama, and they have said this is their last concert ever. You are too young to attend (and they only have two tickets!) so they are leaving you at home with a babysitter, along with twenty bucks to order pizza and soda for dinner. However, when the babysitter arrives, you open the door and are confronted with someone green and furry. It turns out your parents have hired the Grinch to babysit you for the night. What do you do? P.S. This scenario was inspired by a dream I had after listening to the last Surprise Round episode a little too close to bedtime!

Lucien Rose

You've become the villian destined to die at the end of the story. Its the final encounter/chapter. You have one goal. Survive against all odds.

SpookyGeist

You are eating lunch outside at your favorite restaurant when a dog with floppy ears drops a stick at your feet. The dog has a collar with the name Max on it. The stick, as it turns out, is not a stick, but a Rod of Security, allowing you to build a paradise for yourself and 198 of your family and friends. A paradise that is almost completely under your control. "Almost?" you may be asking. Well, there's already someone there. The Grinch. And he now considers himself a part of your family. He can leave and enter at will and you can do nothing to hinder his attempts to treat you like his closest family member. He comes to your family dinners, he stays with you when he's in town, and he's always trying to get you to participate in his next "get rich quick" scheme. You can change this by breaking the Rod of Security, but this traps him in your plane of existence, hurts his feelings immensely, and makes his heart shrink 3 sizes. He will visit your home once a year for the rest of your life and "steal" Christmas, but it's entirely possible you may never see him again as he is very stealthy. What do you do?

James M

It’s Christmas Eve, you have set aside your milk and cookies and taken yourself to bed. In the middle of the night you hear an awful clatter, not on the roof but in the living room down the stairs. You carefully take yourself to the staircase where you can see two intruders arguing by the Christmas tree. One of them is scrawny and green, the other a gorilla wearing a red tie with DK on it. You watch as the grinch tries to steal the tree but donkey kong insists that it is not worth stealing and that they should just throw barrels at it instead. They argue for what feels like hours and still haven’t come to a conclusion. Do you help? Do you go back to bed? What do you do?

Shambles

You're at the hairdresser. All of your friends told you this hairdresser is the BEST and that all of their customers leave with the perfect haircut. All the reviews online are glowing. Even the wait time for an appointment was reassuringly long. When you meet them they seem cool, relaxed, confident. You're feeling great about how this haircut is gonna go. A few minutes into the haircut, the hairdresser does a little laugh. Like a small goblin chuckle. A few minutes later they laugh again, a little louder, a little more mischievous. They don't address it. If you ask them they say "oh nothing" and carry on as normal. The third time it's a fully evil cackle. If you press them on why they keep laughing, they say tell you they were thinking "what if I just gave this person a really bad haircut" or "what if I shave this bit off then just leave it like that?" As they tell you, they do the evil chuckle again, but carry on cutting your hair. Your hair is still normal, you could leave now without having stupid hair. Do you continue with the haircut?

Yashuntafun

One crisp autumn day, your telephone rings. It's the president of Square Enix, telling you that you have won a contest that you submitted a postcard to back in 1998. It's taken scientists 25 years, but they have finally created real-life chocobos, and you get to run a chocobo ranch. All the land, structures, and greens are paid for, but all the labor is on you. The birds are unquestionably dangerous. They are 8 feet tall, and weigh 400-500 lbs. The chocobos are stated to be of "uneven temperament," and can run up to 65 miles per hour. The president continues, saying that if you don't accept ownership of the ranch, they'll have to "consider their options." Do you accept the chocobo ranch, and if so, do you ride them as a means of commuter transportation?

margot d

You’re out at the beach for a cookout with family. You’ve put a lot of effort into preparing the event, making everyone’s favorite meals, finding the best spot, etc. After you’ve set up perfectly, the next picnic area begins to fill with a large group of Who’s from Whooville. They are loud and the roast beast smells horrible and it would ruin your family cookout to be next to them. As you consider your options and think of asking the group to move, a spectral Grinch appears beside you and says “Do it. I can help. But you’ll have to become one with me.”. Your family will begin arriving any minute. What do you do?

RedRen

Some things to keep in mind: Check Norris built the house he grew up in Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience Chuck Norris can cook minute price in thirty seconds Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in just three moves

Malina G

You are at your Uncle's wedding. You have been asked to be his best man, an incredible honor that you take very seriously. Everything leading up to the wedding has gone very smoothly. The caterers have arrived on time, the venue is beautiful, nothing could be going better. However, five minutes before the ceremony your Uncle pulls you aside and tells you that the wedding officiant has just arrived and needs to be shown to his position. He tells you that he is very excited about this "surprise" officiant, and that the reveal of this mystery guest will surely be the highlight of the ceremony. You go to meet with this officiant, and find non other than the Grinch. This is not the actual Grinch. It is clearly a man hired to dress up in a Grinch costume to officiate the ceremony. He is strikingly unprofessional and very rude. He even implies that he fully intends to ruin the wedding by insulting the guests and generally going on a blind spree of destruction throughout the venue. You swore to your Uncle that everything on his wedding day would go perfect, and you're not sure if this is what your Uncle wanted or if he has no clue of what's in store. What do you do?

Darby

You have recently inherited property in an upper-crust neighborhood across town. The house itself is lovely and has plenty of space for your growing family, the schools you would be zoned for are top-notch, and the neighbors seem friendly enough from the few interactions you’ve had. However, the Homeowners’ Association is extremely strict, and is led by a president who you can only describe as Grinchly in nature. They refuse to allow any holiday decorations of any sort in the neighborhood, outdoors OR indoors, and it is rumored that they let themselves into people’s houses to do “surprise inspections”. They don’t steal anything, but will impose a hefty fine if they spot anything that would imply you were celebrating a holiday of any kind. Do you relocate to this house, or sell it to avoid this Grinch?

Fraser Taylor

One day you receive a letter inviting you to the 25th cast reunion for "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" starring Jim Carrey. At first you assume it was a scam, but out of curiosity you check IMDB and, to your surprise you find your name in the cast list for the recently released 25th anniversary extended edition as "Who Bully #2". When you reach out to your parents and/or other family members, they all tell you the same thing, that you were cast as an extra in the movie, and you were really upset when you found out that your scene was getting cut, and they all seem surprised that you don't remember any of this. You watch the movie and see a previously cut scene where an actor who looks a lot like you did when you were younger bullying Cindy-Lou Who. The scene is really mean-spirited and doesn't fit well with the rest of the movie, it was clear why the scene was cut. You call the organizer of the reunion and confirm that yes the invitation was intentional, and that most of the cast will be there. Will Ferrell is a yes. Jim Carrey is a 50/50. Do you attend the reunion.

Serious goose (certified gamer)

You gain the ability to play any video game in your head perfectly, without a console, just by closing your eyes and thinking about it. You are even able to keep “saves”. In return for this power, whenever you are about to say your funniest line or joke of the day, regardless of who you are with, what it’s about, or where you are, Christopher Walken will appear out of nowhere and deliver the line before you can. Everytime he does so, people think it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard, and you will never get a shred of credit for it. Your family, friends, and love ones will constantly ask you to invite Chris to any event - on account of how funny he is - which you will not be able to do because he only appears when YOU are about to say something really funny. After he does so, he will stay for a few minutes, soak up the praise, shoot you a wink, and then leave until he appears the next day. Do you take this deal?

Signe Krantz

You are giving the most important preparation of your life to people you could only dream of being in the same room as. You have prepared for it for months and it could make or break your career. It goes smoothly the first ten minutes, but then, every single attendee picks up a promotional sticker that was included in their goodie bags and starts inspecting them intently. They lean forward, holds the sticker with both hands and do not look at you. This goes on for at least ten minutes. You have trouble keeping your focus and feel the presentation slipping away from you, but you can't even be sure that they're listening. If you pause, one of them perks up and asks you to continue. If you look at your closest colleague, he motions for you to keep going. Do you keep trying to finish the presentation or do you try to break the important attendees out of their sticker induced trance?

Signe Krantz

It's the first day of your dream job. The salary, location and benefits are perfect. However, your colleagues and boss have all been cold and hostile, and you can't tell if it's directed towards you. Suddenly, a man in a Cat in The Hat costume walks in. Hell, the costume is so realistic, it might be the actual Cat in The Hat. He is brandishing a wooden baseball bat with what looks like fresh red stains on it and calmly rests it against his desk before sitting down at the station next to you. He introduces himself as James Carrey and in a friendly manner shows you the ropes. He is so far the only person who's shown the slightest interest in being your friend and you immediately hit it off. When you get home, you hear that one of your rude colleagues has been brutally bludgeoned to death in an alley outside the office and the police is looking for any leads. The next morning, you hear a colleague mutter "why does this keep happening?". Do you give the police a tip on the cat in the hat or hold your peace to keep your work friend?

Zeon Liberation

You’ve been gifted the ability to find anything or anyone that is lost or missing. Can’t find your keys, no problem! Buried treasure, it’s yours! Missing kid on the back of the milk carton, you could be the hero to find them. The catch: using this gift requires a gut feeling. As you get closer to finding your target you become more and more nauseas. Once the focus of your search is found, you begin uncontrollably vomiting and retching for 5 minutes. The nausea and vomiting will not kill you and you can still find things without having to use your new gift. If at any point in a search you use your ability, vomiting will commence once your item is found. Do you take the deal?

Niclas

You're at a high-stakes poker game in a luxurious underground casino, an exclusive event you’ve dreamed of attending for years. The room is dimly lit, with a heavy haze of cigar smoke in the air. High rollers from all over the world are seated around the table. All dressed in formal suits and dresses, all except one individual, instead he is wearing an impeccable Jim Carrey Grinch costume. It's almost impossible to tell if it's just an excellent costume or if you're dealing with the actual Grinch. As the game progresses, the Grinch becomes increasingly agitated, his movements more erratic. He starts making outrageous bets, seemingly at random. The stakes are astronomical, nearly your whole life savings, and the tension is palpable. Suddenly, the Grinch accuses you of cheating, slamming his green furry fists on the table. The room falls silent as all eyes turn to you. The casino's pit boss, a stern figure with a reputation for ruthless efficiency, steps in cracks his knuckles and gives you an ultimatum: Either prove you're not cheating by winning the next hand fair and square, or face the consequences, which could include being banned from the casino for life or worse. The Grinch, with a mischievous glint in his eye, leans in and whispers that he has a foolproof plan to guarantee your win, but it involves a series of complex card manipulations and sleight of hand that he can guide you through. Do you trust the Grinch and follow his plan, risking potential exposure and severe consequences, or do you ignore the Grinch and hope to win on your own potentially gambling away your life savings?

Jeremias B

You've just purchased a new house at a reasonable price, and it's nearly perfect. It just needs a little bit of basement renovations, including tearing down what looks like hastily built walls around a corner of the basement that serve no structural purpose. After tearing down the walls you find a small door. When you open the door, there is a deep and seemingly endless void. You step into the void to discover that you are now in control of Dwayne "the Rock" "the Toothfairy" Johnson in the Attitude era. You intuitively have the knowledge and skills of the Rock. Shocked, you pull back. You find yourself back in your house, except John Malkovitch is there. He screams "SHAME" at you and hits you in the face with an apple pie. After clearing the pie from your eyes, you find that John Malkovitch is gone, but some of your stuff is wrecked, and an upper decker was left in every bathroom. John Malkovitch has left you a letter. He vows that so long as he lives, whenever you use the room again, for however long you use the room, he will appear in your dream house and do as much damage as he can for however long you are in there, and you will always be hit with a pie in the face upon exit, where he will scream "SHAME" at you. The letter burns itself after reading. Whatever you do in the Rock's body does not seem to change history in any noticeable way. What do you do?

Tallerballer

Boomer Pooh has decided to drag the world back to the “good old days” by banning Wi-Fi and turning every digital device into a glorified paperweight. He’s empowered by a radioactive bucket of honey, which amplifies his nostalgic influence, making him a powerful force capable of convincing people to abandon modern technology and join his side. Desperate to stop this madness, the governments of the world have hired you to assemble a team to tackle the crisis. You have $10 to “buy” the help of the following late 90s and early 2000s characters. Whoever you don’t “buy” will become seduced by Boomer Pooh’s power and ally with him. Choose wisely: 1. The Taco Bell Chihuahua - $2 2. Gen X Stitch - $3 3. The Matrix’s Neo - $5 4. The Grinch - $3 5. Goku - $7 6. Quailman - $2 7. Clippy- $2 8. Tim the Toolman Taylor - $2 9. Shrek - $4 10. Captain Jack Sparrow - $3

Andrey M

The party has escorted a grieving elderly widow to visit a Medium, who is very obviously a Necromancer. They keep asking the widow questions, that sound eerily similar to every security question one uses to guard their digital identity—to your dismay however, the closure she’s receiving is definitely helping with the grief as her husband is reminiscing about their first car, naming their pet, and where they first lived.

AlolanRychu

This isnt even a question i take this immediately

The Wizard Snoop

You're riding you're bike on a summer evening, and you suddenly reach a bridge you've never seen before. A gold troll crawls from beneath the bridge and demands tribute, "or else." He refuses to provide context on what "or else" means or what he wants for tribute, and you're pretty sure you're faster than him on your bike. Do you give him his tribute, or do you soeed away, hoping that he never sees you again?

Tory Hackert

Six months ago your beloved father Goku passed away from a heart virus that he was warned about. Your mother has recently been on a couple dates, and you notice she seems very happy, and she also assures you that if things work out with this new guy, that the growing pressure of finances will go away. A couple more weeks go by and it is finally time for you to meet your mother's boyfriend. You go over to your mom's house, and you are greeted at the door by Fred Flintstone, full piece of womanizing shit, in the flesh. You sit down to a nice dinner prepared by your mother who seems truly happy. Fred slips you a hundred dollar bill and says, "don't worry bucko, there is plenty more where that came from." In casual conversation your mom mentions she is so thankful she does not have to return to work after being a homemaker the past 25 years, and that her back has been hurting. At this last comment, Fred winks at you, and you almost throw up. You know that Fred is a terrible person and canonically married, do you attempt to protect your mother, at risk of sending her back to work, and upending what appears to be happiness?

Swordmaster of Ginaz

One day, God comes to you (who may or may not be in a full Grinch costume) and offers you a deal: She will give you perfect health, an extra 100 years on earth, and a $35 gift card to Red Robin every month IN EXCHANGE FOR...Once a year you have to participate in a 24 Hour NYE Livestream Podcast with some of Her worst children: Gex, Shadow the Hedgehog, Bubsy the Bobcat and the Great Gazoo. Some of the segments for the podcast include a 2.5 hour unmoderated discussion about vaccines (Gex is full anti-vaccine and Bubsy is "just asking questions"), a 6 hour Sonic & All Stars Racing marathon, and the rest of the time will be taking calls on air. You'll get all the snacks and soda you want, but in addition, you'll have to promote the event for a month in advance on Headgum and Instagram as well.

Ted H.

You are Emily Axford, Brian Murphy, and Caldwell Tanner, host of the world famous "8 Bit Book Club" podcast and invite former College Humor employee Jake Hurwitz as a one time guest. On the day of recording who would show up to the studio than a man dressed in a Grinch costume or hell the costume is so realistic maybe the grinch himself, do you continue with the show? P.S. do you think he did something to the Hurwitz

Muqtadaa Miandara

Picture this: you are in a green room with other contestants waiting for your chance to present your business idea to none other than the panel of business execs that comprise the judges of Shark Tank. You're in it for all the eggs, except that as you watch a feed of the other entrepreneurs presenting to the Sharks, you realize there is an additional panelist, another Shark in the Tank. Seated in the middle of the dais, there is what appears to be a man in an incredibly realistic Grinch costume, hell, it might even be the Grinch them self. As you observe the feed in this waiting area, it becomes increasingly clear that this Grinch possesses a potent entrepreneurial mindset, with a sharp business acumen that very quickly calls out potential problems, and seems to be able to identify which ideas are worth a lot of money. The only downside? They're absolutely brutal, reducing one entrepreneur to tears, and convincing another to never try to start a business again. Also, every offer the Grinch makes involves him coming to work directly with the Entrepreneur he invests in, becoming a wry and cuttingly witty companion at their side until he turns a profit. You think you have a winning enterprise idea - it seems right up the Grinch's alley. When you go up to present, he seems to be the only one really interested as the other Sharks don't seem to want to step on the Grinch's toes in his "area of interest". What is your business idea, and would you take the Grinch's offer of far more than the money you need for a percentage of shares, as well as a role by your side being a Grinch in your organization to everyone you interact with from then on? For clarification - he quits your organization after he's made his money back, and you are not paying him any additional salary or wages.

Jacob B.

You've been wandering in the dessert for days and as night comes to a close you know the day will bring the terrible heat with it. But what's that? Off in the distance: its a red and white striped hat. Desperate for any kind of cover from the sun on your 38 year old head you don the hat. You begin to hear Mike Meyers' Cat In The Hat in your mind urging you to keep going, supporting you. Do you keep this accompaniment and much needed sun protection or leave it to sit for another thousand years.

dicejelly

You are on an airplane traveling to see your beautiful wife who has been away on a business trip for months. She's so hot, kind, and affluent she switched your ticket from economy to first class, amazing! As you board the plane, ready to ride in first class for the first (and maybe only) time in your life, you see the person you'll be riding next to. He's wearing a green shirt, green hat, and even his hair is green. He also seems to have prosthetics on, making him seem like a creature from another world. His shirt reads "Grinch to meet you" and you assume he's some kind of fanatic, or hell, maybe even the Grinch himself. Everything is going smoothly at first until half way through the flight he starts to hack and wheeze a distracting amount. Wet phlegm gets all over the back of the person's seat in front of you. The grinch turns to you, eyes blood shot, throat closing up and screams: "Are you a loser??? HUH?? Because I'm ALLERGIC!" He continues to flail and kick and cough, distracting everyone in first class (the most important people), shouting "LOSER, LOSER, LOSER." at the top of his lungs. The flight attendant looks at you with disgust. You have an epipen in your backpack for emergencies---your beautiful wife has a shellfish allergy, you're always equipped. If you decide to inject this grinch man you could help him or you could give him a huge shot of adrenaline which is clearly the last thing he needs on a long flight. What do you do?

Andy Horton

You are sitting on a busy train on your way to work. It’s a normal day the train isn’t too crowded, and you got a full nights sleep. As you are listening to your music minding your own business you notice a slight breeze and the hair on the back of your neck stands on end. You pause your music to look around, and notice someone staring at an empty Dunkin’ Donuts cup in their hand with intense focus. Upon closer inspection, you see them muttering under their breath in a language you can’t understand, and their eyes have a dull pink glow. As you watch them the cup begins to miraculously fill and everyone but you in the train passes out cold. When they notice you are conscious they look at you and say “I craved a refill of my pumpkin spice iced latte, and the normal folk can’t handle that level of magic. You also seem to be gifted with the Blood of Dunk, have you been trained in the ways?” You shake your head no, and the coffee sorcerer says “follow me then…” What do you do?

Laura Webb + Michael Garcia

From MG: You are hanging out at home and considering a night out at your favorite bar. You've been really stressed lately, and blowing off some steam really sounds nice. Just then, in a puff of noxious green smoke, someone appears before you. It looks like someone in an extremely realistic Grinch costume, or hell, it may even be the actual Grinch. He sneers at you and says he knows your future. If you go to the bar tonight, you will be involved in a bar fight but you will win and "level up" afterwards. If you choose to stay in, you will never ascend to the "next level" and will live out your days as a lowly commoner. You are prepared for this sudden appearance due to all of the previous surprise rounds you've done, and begin shouting out questions. Yet before any of them are answered the Grinch is gone. You have no way of knowing how bad the fight will be, if you will be injured, if someone would die in the fight, if Grinches can even see the future, or what "leveling up" even means. Do you abandon your plans and stay in, retaining your stress and feeling cowardly, or seek the unknown by going out to the bar and confronting the future foretold by the Grinch?

Ev Schmev ✨️

For your consideration: You've been working in an office for a few years. The days are long and dull, but flirting with your charismatic, adorable coworker always makes you feel better. There's only one issue: your office crush has been in a long-term monogamous relationship. However, recently your crush told you that they broke up with their partner. They cite "complicated feelings" they have for someone else, holding your gaze earnestly. You summon the courage to ask for a date, and they agree! Tonight's the night! You arrive early, wearing your best outfit. You hear your office crush's voice calling out your name behind you. You eagerly turn to greet them...and see a joyous Grinch bounding up to you, arms outstretched for a hug. You stammer out your crush's name, confused. They giggle, resting fuzzy, long, green fingers on your shoulder. You realize that you've never seen your crush outside of the office...this must be how they dress outside of work for some reason. In years of flirting in the office, this never once came up. Do you continue the date with your long-time crush and their Grinchy ways, leave the date, or something else?

FusRohNahSon

Would U rather fight a chicken to the death with your bare hands everytime you open ur car door to get inside. OR would u rather fight an orangutan to the death, but you get a sword and its once every year.

Jane Lee

You and your partner are going out to eat at your all time favorite restaurant. A place where you know the food is Michelin star level good at an affordable price with always above and beyond service. However due to other reasons you haven’t been able to go in a while and needless to say you and your partner are ecstatic to be going again. However, when you get there you notice a new installment at the front of the restaurant: a giant wall filled with photos of sad looking customers labeled “the wall of humiliation”. Upon asking a server for clarification they tell you that it’s a new system they are doing where at some point throughout the night one person at your table is guaranteed to get “deeply and utterly humiliated”. Other than that nothing has changed. Both the server and your partner, seemingly fine with this information, look at you with expectant eyes. What do you do?

Jeremy Umpleby

You wake up in an infinite void. In front of you stands Chuck Norris, Ohio Final Boss, and Superman all staring daggers at you. You only have time to say one thing to convince one or all of them to your side before it all hits the fan. What do you say? Edit: The Grinch is also there, and he wants to see sparks fly.

Denver Studebaker

You and your sibling are visiting your uncle on his death bed, you’ve known this day was coming for months and he specifically requested the two of you visit him with no one else accompanying you. When you arrive at hospice he asks that his nurses leave the room to have a private moment with you two. The 3 of you share stories and reminisce on your lives together. As time goes on you can’t help but notice that your uncles skin is beginning to turn green, and tufts of green hair are growing all over his body. At first you ignore it, not wanting to spoil your final moments with him, but eventually it covers his body to the point that you simply can’t ignore it. When asked your uncle sighs and says, “we’ve kept this hidden from you two all your lives, but our family is cursed. One of us is forced to be the grinch and steal Christmas from children all over the world. If one of us doesn’t take on this role, everyone we know and love slowly turns into grinch like monsters and eventually dies. The curse is taking over my body and I will soon perish, I need to choose my successor. This role is not for the faint of heart, I need to see each of you perform a great act of deceit so I know which one will be able to handle the role better. Also, it makes you infertile and you’ll have to pass this on to a niece or nephew.” At this point he pulls out a green chaos emerald and presents it to you before saying, “but you gotta go fast, I’m about to die.” What do you do?

Herr Fryer

You are relaxing at home when someone knocks at your door. It’s a man carrying a box with a large red button on top. He explains that he’s going to offer you a deal. Each time you press the button you get $1000000 but someone somewhere who you never met gets transformed permanently into the Grinch (pre heart growing three sizes) will all of the Grinch’s abilities and opinions. They will have no memory of their life unless they see you in which case their memory is restored and they know you did this to them. How many times do you press the button?

Ilana Galpert

This scenario I've given to multiple people irl and I would love to know where you fall. I'll throw dr. mario in there if it helps. Your dentist of 15 years is retiring. They recommend a new dentist who is conveniently located, takes your insurance, and is well rated on yelp. You arrive at the dentist's office. The receptionist is professional. The graduate degrees for the doctor are displayed on the wall, the office is air conditioned, and there are plenty of highlights magazines to read. The art on the walls is tasteful black-and-white photography of teeth. The doctor calls you in for your appointment. You are vaguely surprised he looks like dr. mario (Luxurious stash, piercing eyes, sonorous voice and, you guessed it, perfect teeth.) As you walk down the hall, you notice there appears to be a lot of art made from teeth. Mandalas, painted molars, tiny teeth furniture. You ask dr. Mario if they are real. He nods and says in his sexy voice, "I purchase the teeth online. You can get anything on Etsy." "So you make them yourself?" "Yep." The examination room contains a sculpture of–is that the grinch? it perfectly matches his teeth from the movie, an impressive attention to detail. Do you stay for the appointment and, if you do stay, do you come back? (if you stay the appointment runs smoothly and he cleans your teeth and there are no other problems)

Cavan Edwards

You are enjoying a delightful afternoon at a local fair with your friends, when you are approached by a mime. Everyone is entranced and loves the mime as they do traditional things such as touching a wall or pulling a rope. The mime engages you in their act and you're surprised to feel an actual glass wall where he touches and an actual invisible rope where he pulls. You do the act with the mime only for real, and everyone cheers and thinks it's great. Next the mime looks you in the eye draws his finger across his throat. Threateningly and starts an imaginary chainsaw. What do you do?

AdversityHire

You are suddenly gifted the ability to sleep for any length of time, with no timing passing in the waking world. You instantly get 8+ hours added to your day, since a night of sleep now takes no time for you. You can take a nap at your desk at work and miss nothing, with no one noticing, feeling fully energized. However, every time you fall asleep, you dream that you're in an empty room, sitting across from Gex who refuses to do anything except complain about his relationship problems with Agent Xtra. If you try to change the topic, he doubles down, now more defensive than before. You cannot leave and you cannot wake yourself up faster than your natural rest cycle. You sense deep inside that if you help Gex work through his relationship problems, you'll lose your new ability. So to keep the infinite sleep hack, you'll not only have to listen to Gex complain forever, but you may even have to try to sabotage his relationship further. Do you help put Gex on a healthier path and go back to living like a regular sleep-deprived adult? Or do you torment this rad lizard (and yourself) for the rest of your sleeping life?

Kacey

You are walking alone in the peaceful woods near Forks Washington. Suddenly, you notice some movement up in a tree about 60 feet away. Would you rather see: A brown bear. OR Edward Cullen from Twilight. If you choose Edward Cullen you would know immediately that yes, that is the real fictional vampire Edward Cullen. He would sparkle a little bit in the sunlight. He looks flustered but then gives you a little smile. Is Edward Cullen flirting with you? Before you can speak, he jumps away. Nothing else happens on your walk. But at least one vampire is real. And maybe he has a crush on you? Do you devote your life to finding Edward again? Do you tell anyone that actually Edward Cullen from Twilight is real, and he really is a vampire, because you saw him while walking alone in the woods? Or do you just see a bear up in a tree? That's kinda cool. Everyone would believe that story.

Ilana Galpert

I forgot to mention and important detail! there is a tooth mobile hanging over the examination chair

Lockwood Warlock

Imagine you are able to save people from final destination like scenarios, it is not everyone and usually only people that are around you but you have a quick time like event (where time slows down enough to react). The obvious catch is once a year you have your own final destination moment, the day is random and each time you survive it gets more and more complex. But like a video game you also get better and better, initially having that same quick time event but the event gets faster and faster until you barely notice but can just react. As the years go on and you get better at both saving people and yourself from near death experiences the final destination scenarios get bigger and bigger. Like a video game harder and harder to predict. Would you still take this power being able to save anyone around you with ease (never losing the quick time event as long as it is someone else’s life)- but randomly once a year having an extremely complex looney tunes level of madness trying to kill you (and only you as it trying to kill someone else would trigger your quick time power). You don’t gain any additional powers btw just really good at humanly reacting to near death scenarios. If you want this eventually will lead to a crash bandit coot final boss

Jarod W

You are in a team fighting tournament to the death. You have been appointed as captain of a team. You have the choice of 2 teammates from the list, the other 2 will be the team of your first opponent. Your options are Sonic the Hedgehog, The Grinch, Fred Flintstone, Crash Bandicoot. 2 join you, 2 fight you, who do you pick?

Neil Prospect

You awaken one morning to find yourself a Boss Baby fighting your way up the corporate ladder in constant competition with opposing Boss Babies. You have to outsmart Bruce Willis from Look Who's Talking, Alec Baldwin (the OG Boss Baby), and the etrade baby. Meanwhile your Boss Baby company is a direct rival to the Baby Geniuses research company. Your legal representation is from the firm Three Men and a Baby. How do you balance the threats to your career from outside the company and within? How do you work your way to the top and win in the cutthroat world of Boss Babies?

Ian

It's late at night on Christmas eve when you hear a ruckus that wakes you from your slumber, you hurry to its source only to find a man in a grinch costume, or hell its so convincing it might be the Grinch himself, doing what grinches do and stealing all your Christmas stuff, gifts, decorations, even the food you were going to make. Before you can stop him he's already gone back up the chimney. You follow him outside and see that he has already done the same to everyone on your block. You know that there's a solution however, if you can go door to door now at midnight and wake enough of your neighbors, convince them that Grinches are real and that you can get your stuff back if we all stand in the street hand in hand and sing Christmas carols until the Grinch notices, you know he'll give you your stuff back. So do you perform that long, protracted and incredibly awkward recruitment campaign or do you call it a loss on Christmas this year and go back to bed

Emma Waight

Everynight you dream that you are in a fantasy world. The people there are consistent throughout many dreams. They tell you that this is a real place that you are magically entering through your dreams, and that if you die in the dream you will die in real life. There is no way to prove that the dream world is real or to disprove it, besides trying to die in the dream. How long does it take you to believe the dream people? Or do you never believe? Do you try test the death thing? Does this ruin your waking life? (If you prefer we can say that the grinch is the one insisting that this is real and that the dream world is populated by the Naddpod nightmare canon)

SeaBassGin

You are approached by a gruff man in glasses and a lab coat. He tells you that he's from a corporation that has been experimenting with human DNA, X-Men style. They've made a breakthrough and you're the perfect candidate. If you agree to the experiment, you will be able to shape shift like Mystique(clothes, voice, and all) for one hour a day, but due to the changes your scent enrages birds. They will swarm you and swoop at you whenever you're outside. Do you agree to the experiment?

Ben Stone

While at the mall, a man dressed in a black suit and sunglasses a la Neo approaches you with a briefcase. Inside is an offer "you simply can't refuse". He sits you down on a bench in front of Cinnabon and proceeds to enter a series of 18 combinations into his briefcase. He opens the briefcase, which is lit with an inset glow. You peer inside to find a small stuffed Winnie the Pooh doll. The man explains that the doll can accurately and correctly answer questions about the future, with a few "small drawbacks". You can ask the bear as many questions as you want, forever. However, every time you try to tell anyone about any piece of information you learn about the future, you will end up spiraling into a boomer rant about it. Additionally, any time you introduce yourself, you must add "but please call me Christopher" at the end. Do you take this plushie of unlimited foresight?

Certainly Not Brent

You wake up on the floor of a mansion with no memory of how you got there, much like Milla Jovovitch in the opening of the first Resident Evil film, when CRASH! A team of special forces soldiers wearing gas masks smash in the windows and rush up to you. One approaches you and takes off his mask, revealing the face of, could it be? Caldwell Tanner. "Looks like they're alive" Caldwell tells his companions. "Come on" he says, "we'll brief you on the way to the lab. Somebody did a BAD SPILL." As Caldwell leads you down the hall, the other soldiers take off their masks. To your amazement and/or horror, every single member of the team appears to be Caldwell. Do you risk a grisly death in the hands of Spill Team Six investigating the T Virus, or is no bit worth the risk?

Side Quest Studios

You’re all in your mid-late twenties. Single and still ready to mingle. You’re one of the contestants of a new dating show where they show you three different options behind a lit white screen creating a silhouette. You get to ask several questions to each contestant to get to know them. After your questioning, they all answer really well and it’s even across the board. Now they remove the white screen and reveal the three contestants. Remember, you really like each one, but now you have to make a decision of who you’d like to take on a date, but when the curtain is pulled away you are met with three very interesting options. 1: Your recently single step-sibling. 2: The Grinch (could be a costume, could be the real thing. It’s too hard to tell). 3: The live action version of your Band of Boobs characters (Balnor for Murph). Who do you choose? Go!

frogwithhumanhands

You are walking around a swamp and stumble upon a little hut. You go inside to snoop around and find some odd specimen jars, a goopy pot of something bubbling in a cauldron, a dusty collection of books, and some dried herbs and flowers hanging from the ceiling. As you explore, the door creaks open behind you and, surprise, surprise, a witch comes in with her arms full of groceries, which she drops and she begins to cast a spell you're sure will kill you outright. You explained fervently that you didn't mean any harm, giving her pause. She thinks for a moment and decides instead to give you a weird, non-deadly punishment, which you can choose: 1) She turns all of your bones to rubber 2) Everything you eat tastes like a banana that maybe fell in a little dirt while it was naked 3) Every voice sounds like Kermit the frog 4) Anytime someone says your name, a large bird comes materialized and attacks you What are you choosing?

Mikel

You are given the chance to go back and have a redo: it could be anything from going back and playing the winning lottery numbers, to aceing the exam or job interview you always wished you'd passed; whatever it is, the redo works and you get to live your life from that point on, reaping whatever benefits. The drawback is, for the rest of your life you'll be followed around and studied by the Great Gazoo. No one else can see him, just you. He comments on everything you do, constantly calling you dum-dum. Do you take the offer?

WunDarWun

You're a new elementary school principal, it's your first time at this job and you're eager to do well. The kids rant and rave about their red-headed science teacher who has a reputation for taking the kids on incredible field trips and entertaining kids with her classroom pet chameleon. One day, during morning drop off, one of the school buses pulls up weirdly close to you, and while you assist the children step out of the bus, you hear an urgent whispering voice coming from what you can only understand to be the front bumper of the bus. It says, "please make her stop. I can't keep doing this. She keeps making me shrink and climb into these kids' bodies so she can have a look around with the rest of the class. It's just so fucked. Please make her stop." You can swear you see actual tears leaking from the front headlights, but maybe that's just morning condensation. It becomes clear you're the only person able to hear this, and as you walk away you hear the bus sobbing quietly. What do you do?

Matthew J

You are on a flight from Australia to Los Angeles when a magnetic storm causes you to crash land on a deserted island. You manage to survive the crash and crawl out of the wreckage, and with the help of the other survivors, you manage to scrounge together some food to get you through the next few days. However, you quickly realize that it won't be enough, and you'll need to find a source of food on the island. One of the other survivors teaches you how to hunt, and you go off into the woods to find something; maybe a rabbit, or a deer. Instead you find something else: The entire island is infested with bandicoots: And all of them look and sound exactly like Crash Bandicoot. You go back to report to the rest of the survivors that you may have found a source of food. However, all of them look horrified when you mention the similarities to Crash, and declare that they'd rather starve than eat their favorite bandicoot. On the other hand, you know that if you rely solely on the rations you have, none of you will make it through the end of the week. What do you do?

Just adopted a male bearded dragon and had to name it. So welcome to the family CHASE LIZ-ARD-SON.

You are invited on a glamping weekend by a friend with a large group of people. You only really know your one friend, and the others are all strangers but you vibe and get along with them well. While you are all gathered around the campfire, one of the other campers says “oh hey finally, now everyone is here.” A man approaches the campfire in a VERY convincing Grinch costume. Or hell, it could even be the Grinch himself. You ask your friend about it privately, and they curtly reply “just be cool.” The group decides to go for a night swim in a nearby lake, and the Grinch goes first because he doesn’t wear a swimsuit. You and your friend get there last because you misplaced your swimsuits. When you arrive at the lake, none of the other campers are there, save for the Grinch who is shoulder deep in the water. Your friend says “it’s fine, let’s get in.” Do you swim with the Grinch?

Kate Huss

The Great D&D Scoop In an unfortunate twist of fate, you've been sent back in time to the early 1970s through no fault of your own, and with no way of getting back to your own time. You're hopeful to find your way home one day, but for now you need to find a way to live in the 70s. Luckily, you were carrying your handy Sports Almanac with you when you were sent back in time, so you've been able to make a lot of money in sports betting. You have a comfortable life, and you have the resources and foresight to start plotting how you can potentially avert tragedies and change the future. The power starts to go to your head a bit. In your downtime, though, one of the many things you miss from the future is playing D&D with your friends. You can't play D&D now, because it hasn't been invented yet, and D&D 5e won't come out for another 44 years. Just then, it hits you - you're too late to do the thing where you write Beatles songs before the Beatles, but you CAN invent D&D before Gary Gygax. You have a decent enough knowledge of the 5e rules to write your own player's handbook, and you know you have the resources to get your game published. You'll have to act fast if you want to scoop Gygax, but you worry about what kind of butterfly effect it will have on the future if you release D&D 5e in the early 1970s. You wonder if there's even a market for it at this point, or if your version would just be a massive flop. Do you try to scoop the invention of D&D? Or do you just start writing ABBA songs before they come out and call it a day? Bonus Question: What invention would you go back in time on purpose to try to scoop? What technologies, books, movies, games, etc, do you think you could successfully re-create before the original has a chance to come out?

Everest Conclave

Your partner is a world renowned scientist. Their latest invention? A device that will provide infinite clean energy for the world. You are invited to see a demonstration of the machine along with members of the press. As your partner introduces you to the members of their team, you freeze upon hearing one of their names: Doctor Ovi Kintobor. He looks nothing like the egg based sonic character. When you try and explain the significance of his name, he simply frowns and says, "Sonic? Like the restaurant?" You chalk it up to a wild coincidence. Just before the demonstration begins however, you see Kintobor say, "whoops, almost forgot," and take an egg out of his lab coat then place it inside the machine. Your partner begins to welcome everyone to the demonstration. Do you interrupt everything to point out the egg, embarrassing your partner in front of the press? Do you try and stealthily remove the egg and risk damaging the miracle machine? Or do you let things be, knowing that this could be an evil plan by doctor Robotnik, or even the event that turns him evil in the first place? What is your decision?

Johan Schmidt

You’ve just argued with your boss against moving you to a countryside desk and he responds: “Truth is, you are making us all look bad” He shrugs and hands you the key to the closed Sheyt’s Creek branch of the adventurer’s guild. He suggests you complete a twenty year old side quest the last adventurer abandoned about an unusually well coordinate ant hive. After a week’s travel you walk through what should have been a forrest and arrive at the village after climbing a large hill that should not have been there. A farmhand doffs their strawhat revealing a pair of antennae! What do you do?

Joshua Brown

You’re walking down the street, when all of the sudden you begin to notice something’s off. The backdrop of the street you’re walking on appears to be repeating itself, wheels on cars look like giant stones, when all of a sudden the small dinosaur controlling the stop light yells down at you “it’s a living.” You’ve found yourself in the real life Bedrock. Assuming Emily has just left for a 1 year long sabbatical, Murph, Jake and Caldwell, armed with all the modern knowledge you have now, how do you take over and become King of Bedrock or do you waste away in prehistoric squaller?

Charlie Penn

You go to Universal Studios with your yaunt and yunkle. You have an amazing day, eating a big simpsons doughnut, riding the Velocicoaster, etc... Lines aren't long, service is quick, you are having the perfect theme park day. You find yourself needing to go to the bathroom, but there are no Men and Women's rooms. It appears every pair of bathrooms have been replaced with one hairy green door and one stone door with a dinosaur as the handle. Which bathroom do you use?

Gwen Gilpin

Your dream of becoming a professional wrestler has come true and you're main-eventing Wrestlemania! Just as you're about to hit your big finishing move and win the championship, you look out into the crowd and see your old high school nemesis holding a sign saying "If (your wrestling character's name) wins, I will tell the world about that thing you did Junior year!" Do you go for the pin and the belt, or do you let your opponent pin you without trying to kick out to keep your secret safe?

Basil McDonough

You and your yuncle are having your usual weekly hang outs when he suggests going for a hike. The weather being beautiful, temperate and sunny, you see no reason to turn him down. After some time going along the established trail, one of you spots a branching path that appeals to you in a way that the previous offshoots did not. Some ways in, you find yourself in a shallow cavern. Your yuncle examines what appears to be markings on the surface of the inner wall, and with a faint click, he accidentally triggers a mechanism that causes the section next to it to spin around as if on a turntable. In front of the newly unveiled section of wall, there is a stone table with a scattered array of contents and scrawled strange writing inked on the table. The evenly spaced artifacts include; a withered monkey's paw, a glowing yellow vial, a wand, a tome embedded with gems and locked with a large buckle, a strange leather bound book with a howling face on the cover, and a mug full of what appears to be freshly poured beer. Though you do not know what the writing says, as you look at it you understand the message being conveyed. "You may have, one." Your yuncle, not seeing the texts, reaches to examine the monkey's paw. What do you do?

Owen Rath

You’re riding your bike home from work when a mysteriously dressed stranger appears in the path in front of you. He has a long white bear which drapes over a deep crimson robe. On his head sits a pointy, matching hat not dissimilar to the one Gandalf wears. As you swerve into the grass to avoid a collision, the man tells you that he is “The Wizard of the Woods” and has the power to send you back in time to the 90s. You’re dubious at first, but grow more and more intrigued as the pitch goes on. Eventually, you agree, because the 90s were rad and you miss your glory days. A wave of his wand, a puff of black smoke, and you’re instantly teleported to your childhood bedroom— pogs on the nightstand, a skateboard leaning up against the wall, and an N-64 plugged in and ready to go. You game ALL NIGHT, eventually falling asleep in a Mario64-inspired stupor slumped against your bed. When you wake up, however, you’re seated next to someone dressed in full Ashton Kutcher makeup (or hell, it might even be Ashton Kutcher himself. He informs you that you’ve been Punk’d!, and that none of this is real. You slump your shoulders in defeat, admit that you’ve been punk’d, and leave the room, returning to your ordinary life. Two weeks later, however, you’re approached in your ride home again by a different wizard— this one dressed even more convincingly— who, after a brief display of his powers, promises you the exact same thing. What do you do?

Bocks Cliphton

Your name is Jake (or Emily, Brian, or Hugh). That's your first name, obviously. You can't tell anyone your last name. It would be too dangerous. The Characters are everywhere. And if they knew your full name, they could find you and your friends, and then ... well, let's just you don't want them to find you. What they do to people who resist is too horrible to think about. You come to, bleary-eyed, trying to focus in the bright light of what appears to be an infirmary. The first being you see is a five-foot tall humanoid covered in rusty-orange fur wearing blue jeans, sneakers, fingerless gloves and no shirt under a white lab-coat. A Bandicoot. They notice you’re awake and say to you in a high-pitched voice, “Finally, you’re awake. We need to ask you some questions.” Your bring your hands to rub your pounding head – they’re fuzzy. And orange. And wearing fingerless gloves. They think you’re one of them. How long have you been morphed? You have to get out of there. You ask them how long you’ve been unconscious – “About half and hour”. You can’t remember how long you were morphed before losing consciousness, but you’re running out of time. You look over their shoulder to see two Bandicoot guards blocking the only exit. “Where are we?” you ask. They reply, “Earth.” How do you escape? You’ve gotten morphs from lots of Characters – Hedgehogs, Snowmen, Dinosaurs, hell – even The Grinch, but you would need to morph back to human first. You need to think fast, unless you want to be stuck as a Bandicoot forever.

Hyacinth

It's a dark night. You and your 36-year-old friends are walking home from school through the old construction site. Suddenly an alien spaceship appears, and a strange centaur-like alien offers you an opportunity: you can change into any animal you touch - the catch? Every animal you morph will have the ability to morph into YOU, but will still have an animal mind (i.e. a bird would eat grubs and hop around but would look exactly like you). Do you take the alien's offer?

Thom van Tijn

You are given the ability to instantly travel with you and three friends anywhere in the world. However, upon arriving one of you will suffer a werewolf like transformation into one of the NADDPOD Extended Universe characters. You are allowed to bring stuff with you to prepare for this. The affected person will not remember what happened.

Kyle White

You’re at Costco buying your weekly supply of sonicare toothbrushes. It’s a Tuesday morning and you’ve managed to avoid the worst of the Costco mania. As you wander around the aisles, it’s borderline empty except for the employees scattered throughout and a few other early birds. You take a moment for yourself, marveling at the sheer mass of goods stacked up to the ceiling, when something catches your eye. You look over and there’s a hole in the boxes. As you take a step back to get a better view, you could swear you see a small space hidden amongst the boxes (a là employee of the month). As your eyes strain, a small pair of eyes look back at you from obscurity. You rub your eyes in disbelief, but think you can make out a small figure. As you step closer and crane your neck to get a better view, a small folded piece of paper floats down and lands on the ground in front of you. You pick it up and read in scribbled green crayon, “I’ve got tons of snacks - come up to my clubhouse.” You look back up and see 11 years old, wearing a Costco uniform, beckoning you up a path in the scaffolding, is the grinch. You’ve got nowhere to be, and can make it up unseen if you’re quick. Do you join preteen grinch for a day in his Costco clubhouse?

Kate Huss

The Quantum Skate Park You go out roller blading with some of your friends at the local skate park, and you're having a great time! It's been a while since you've roller bladed, but you've still got it! After finishing some sick tricks, you notice a pair of teens carrying skateboards. They are wearing JNCO jeans and are dressed in generally baggy 90s street fashion. They skateboard for a while, and after a bit you end up taking a break at the same time. The teens have been talking surreptitiously to each other, and eventually they approach you. "Hey, Broseph," one teen says, "My compadre and I were having a bodacious argument about the next presidential election. Since we're not old enough to vote - major bummer - we thought we'd ask you senior citizens." The teens go on to ask you if you plan to vote for President Bill Clinton or for Bob Dole. When pressed, they insist that the current president of the United States is Bill Clinton. When asked what year it is, they don't give you a definite answer, but tell you to "Quit messing around." If you pull out your smartphone or any modern technology, the teens will ask you why you have such a "skinny-ass PDA" with a "weird screen." But, in general, they act nonplussed by the technology. While you're talking, they bust out a bag of Butterfinger BBs and a bag of Gushers. They will continue to talk to you for as long as you engage in the conversation. They seem to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the 1996 presidential campaign and keep steering the conversation towards that topic. If you ask them about any events post-1996 they tell you to "Quit messing around." How long do you talk to them, and do you at any point suspect that real time travel has occurred? The teens at no point make a mistake in their story that would give this away as some kind of elaborate prank, although they do act and speak like over-the-top "adventure book" rad 90s teens. If you do suspect time travel, do you assume that they have gone forward in time, or that you have gone back in time? What is your next move?

Spencer

One day, a huge package appears at your door with no return address. Inside, you find a 2004 Honda Civic racecar bed and an ancient parchment with instructions, summarized as such: At night, whenever you (and only you) lay in this bed, you’re able to visualize a comprehensive scorecard that quantifies the stats of your mind and body, such as vocabulary range, mental focus, bicep strength, flexibility, etc. There are hundreds of these scores, but you’re not given any context other than your own self-understanding of what could be considered good, bad, or average. Whenever you naturally gain or lose points in one of these scores, you’ll be notified of it the next time you lay down in the 2004 Honda Civic bed. Once per night in the bed, you’ll have the option to “re-spec” your entire scorecard in any way you wish. If you’re trying to fulfill a specific purpose, such as having impeccable musical talent or being a Phelps-level swimmer, you will intuitively know what combination of stats is ideal with no need for trial-and-error. When you wake up, you will have the new stats for the next 24 hours, and these stats will be added to a list of “preset” scorecards you can choose from each night. While living with the alternative stats, you cannot gain points in any scores, but you can possibly lose them, such as from suffering a concussion, breaking a bone, or experiencing something traumatic. These point losses carry over to your default scores. In addition, each morning, regardless of where you sleep, there is a 0.5% chance you will unintentionally wake up with the stats of a preset scorecard the Honda Civic bed has previously saved. You are not immediately aware of when this happens, but you may be able to deduce it when your skills are put under the test during the day. The 0.5% chance is cumulative for each preset you have saved, to a maximum of 12%. Do you use the 2004 Honda Civic bed, or do you dump it at the curb?

Jessica Petra

You get into a car accident. When you come to, you find out that you're in the body of a dog, but not any dog. You feel a weight on your head, you look up and see that a single deer antler is tied yo you. Yes, you are now Max, the Grinch's dog. The spectral image of the regular max appears to you. "You need to leave!" It barks "This is my body and the Grinch is my person." You're startled, you respond "What do I need to do?" "Kill the Grinch, then everything will be reset. If not, you will never go home." You agree, but as the day goes on, you realize the Grinch is actually a really nice owner and a loyal friend. Reflexively, you begin to protect him, love him, you have BECOME Max. The opportunity arises, the Grinch is holding the sled over his head. All you need to do is headbutt him off the mountain. The original Max is barking, "DO IT IT'S YOUR ONLY CHANCE OR YOU'RE STUCK HERE." The clock is ticking, what do you do?

Kate Huss

A Doggone Christmas You and your dog are finalists in the National Dog Show, which is always broadcast on national TV right after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. You're not a dog breeder, but you and your adopted pup have had a Cinderella-Story sweep of all the regional dog shows you've entered. You started entering dog shows as a last-ditch effort to raise money to save the local community center, and the story of you and your beloved dog (who is never happier than when he's performing at a dog show) have captured the hearts and minds of America. It's all led up to this. However, just before "Best in Show" is to be announced, a rogue audience member jumps out of the stands with his dog and runs onto the field, demanding that he should be able to compete "because that's the spirit of Christmas." The man is dressed in a PERFECT Jim Carrey Grinch costume, and it's so realistic, hell, it might even be the Grinch himself. The Grinch's Dog is dressed in a PERFECT Max (the Grinch's dog) costume, and it's so realistic, hell, it might even be Max himself. The dog has a singular antler tied onto his head and looks like he's uncomfortable, but determined to win. The judges agree to let the Grinch and Max compete in the dog show "because it is the start of the Holiday Season, after all." The Grinch and Max have a disastrous run, as the Grinch keeps tripping over his own feet as he clumsily takes Max around the arena. Max keeps tipping over because of the weight of the antler on his head. The judges can't decide what breed group Max fits into, so they create a new one for him called "Fictional Dogs" in which he is the only contestant, and therefore up for the "Best in Show" prize. As you await the results, the judges get into a heated discussion which you can overhear. Several of the judges are seriously considering Max for "Best in Show" because he "matches the breed description so perfectly." Only one judge is against this, saying, "That's crazy! The Grinch's Dog, Max, is not a recognized breed!" The dissenting judge was the judge for your dog's group, and awarded your dog as "Best in Group" - they could be considering your dog as deserving of "Best in Show." Do you speak up and try to sway the judges? The other contestants and dog handlers are looking around anxiously, like they just need one person to be brave enough to start protesting before they all join in as well. Do you take a stand against the Grinch and Max? Remember, you really need the prize money to revitalize the community center - it's for the kids. However, also remember that all this will be airing on national TV on Thanksgiving morning.

Avi Burton

You have made amends the Grinch--yes, the real Grinch. He's had a change of heart and sworn never to make mischief again. At first, you didn't believe him, but it's been a few months and he seems to have mellowed out quite a bit. He even brings you as a plus-one to a fancy Christmas Eve party. It is a lavish event with many high-profile attendees, including every celebrity you've ever had a crush on. The party is going really well, and everyone thinks you're awesome. However, at ten minutes to midnight, the Grinch stumbles up to you. He is definitely tipsy and seems in great distress. He tells you that at the stroke of midnight, he will be teleported back to Whoville, where the Whos have sworn to get their revenge. They will use every Christmas-themed weapon in their arsenal to hunt him down. The Grinch hands you a Grinch costume. It's so realistic it could have come from the skin of the Grinch itself. The Grinch begs you take his place and fight the Whos on his behalf. Once Christmas is over, you will be teleported back to the normal world, but any injuries sustained in Whoville will remain. At this point, all the guests--including the hot celebrities--are looking at you and wondering what's going on. They can't hear the details, but they see that the Grinch is on the verge of tears as he grovels for your help. What do you do?

Kate Huss

The Duck Tales Inheritance You've lived in Duckburg for several years now. One day, you are invited to the will reading for Scrooge McDuck, who has recently passed, and the whole city is in mourning. You've never met Scrooge McDuck, but you go to the will reading out of respect. There, you find that Scrooge McDuck has left you one million dollars. Huey, Dewey, and Louie are livid, and believe the money should have gone to them. They each inherited a larger share of the estate than you - they are just mad that one million dollars is going to a stranger, and they seem incredibly suspicious of you. Donald Duck, however, is cool, and tells you that Uncle Scrooge wanted you to have it. You've never met Scrooge McDuck and you have no idea why he left you this money. You are the only beneficiary in the will who did not know Scrooge McDuck personally. What do you do? Do you take the money? How, if at all, do you attempt to smooth things over with the Duck family?

Elle

You are given the opportunity to play D&D in a castle- one of those fully immersive LARP-like games that will go on for three days. Food and lodging is provided, everyone you know who has gone has had an amazing time. The catch- your characters are provided to you and yours is The Grinch. You have to provide your own costume (optional). When you arrive, you notice that someone at your game table is dressed in a super realistic Jim Carey’s The Grinch costume. Or hell, it might be The Grinch himself, that’s how good this suit is. The Grinch is also wearing a different fantasy costume over his suit and is not playing himself as a character. You cannot change tables or characters, and the group you are assigned at your table will be the primary people you interact with over your three day attendance. How do you handle playing The Grinch in front of The Actual Grinch?

The Goodest Boy

You are in middle school. A kid named Tucker has been bullying you relentlessly, always giving you wedgies and stealing your lunch money. The school refuses to do anything because he has never been caught in the act. One day Tucker corners you in an alley, but before he can do anything, a man in a Jim Carey’s The Grinch costume (heck, its so realistic it might just be the grinch himself) jumps from the nearby dumpster and begins absolutely wailing on him, just beating the fuck out of this 12 year old. He looks at you while he does so and yells “come take your revenge! I’m doing this for you!” Tucker looks at you, blood pouring from his mouth, clearly has pissed himself and is crying. He makes eye contact and begs you “please save me” What do you do?

Kate Huss

The Competitive Eating Conundrum You've trained for weeks for a competitive eating contest with a ten-thousand dollar prize, and you've told all your friends and family about how you've been training for it, and many of them have said they are going come watch the contest to support you. When you arrive at the contest, you are surprised to see that the other two competitors are Shaggy and Scooby Doo. You feel like you don't stand a chance at winning against them, but Shaggy winks at you and whispers, "We'll split the prize money with you if you throw the contest." What do you do? Do you throw the contest for Shaggy and Scooby? Or, do you try to win, because, if they are asking you to throw, maybe Shaggy and Scooby aren't that good after all?

Owen Rath

You’re invited by your Uncle Jim to go to a New York Mets playoff game, which is great because you’ve been a fan since you were 6 and have never gotten a chance to see them play in New York. Things start off great: Parking goes smoothly, your seats are perfect, and your uncle even buys you a chili cheese dog. But just as you’re about to tuck into the ‘dog, you notice your uncle making eyes at Mrs. Met, the anthropomorphic baseball who is famously married to Mr. Met. It seems harmless at first, but soon the two are exchanging flirtatious glances, and you even catch your uncle checking her out as she walks away. All seems fine until the 7th inning stretch when your uncle excused himself to “go to the bathroom.” When he returns in the bottom of the 9th, his hair is a mess, there are lipstick stains on his neck, and a faint impression of a baseball on his cheek. He frantically pulls you aside and says “he caught us in the act. We have to go. Now.” Just then, you hear a noise in the distance and look up to you see Mr Met and four smaller baseball figures walking toward you down the baseline with bats in their hands. Your uncle is frantic, but the Mets are tied 7-7 in the bottom of the 9th with a runner on scoring position. What do you do?

Grimmie

The Fall of the House of Usher x NADDPOD Multiverse crossover I didn't know I needed

James Ekstrom

You win a Marriott Bonvoy contest to stay in the penthouse suites of an Island Resort Hotel - it's a multi room affair and you're encouraged to bring along a few family members. The first night you and your family are there however, a massive fire breaks out on the floor just below you - rendering the stairs and elevators down from the penthouse impassable. The resort is pretty remote and you aren't sure how long it will take fire trucks to get there, so in desperation you sprint out onto the roof - as soon as you fling open the roof access door, the sounds of a blaring fire alarm are replaced by chiptune groove, and in the light of the burning hotel you see a person in an extremely realistic Funky Kong Costume - or, hell, it could even be the Kong himself, standing next to his "plane" as it appears in Diddy's Kong Quest - a barrel with a propeller on the front and biplane wings on the side. He urges you that there's no time, and you and your family need to get into the barrel and get to safety. The Barrell vibrates slightly, as if powered by an engine, though you don't see where one could be. Do you get yourself and your family (at least one of whom has no Kong knowledge to speak of) into the barrel, or hope for a more conventional rescue?

Dave M

You’re hosting a party and one of your guests asks if they can bring a new friend of theirs. You say sure, and when they arrive you notice that they look eerily similar to yourself, and their name is awfully close to yours (ex. Ryan, Blake, Amelie or…Baldwell). They’re very friendly, but you notice that they start making comments like “wow, I really wish I had a house like this” or “I would love to do what you do”. None of your friends notice any of the similarities, and they think the comments are just friendly conversation. During the party, you notice your room is open and you see them looking through your closet. What do you do?

Ev Schmev ✨️

For your consideration: You're at the airport, gearing up for a 6 hour flight. You give your boarding pass to the flight attendant, and she informs you that there's been a booking issue-- their mistake-- and the airline would like to update your ticket to first class. You eagerly accept and find your comfy seat on the plane! Maybe you'll nail the Big Presentation, impress the Big Investors, and land the Big Promotion after all! The flight is just about to take off when you see a flight attendant walking one last passenger into the first class area. Is that-- could it really be-- holy crap, it's Brad Pitt!! And the flight attendant is showing him to the seat next to yours! You're playing it cool, sipping your drink and trying not to stare. Brad gently taps your arm and you just barely manage not to do a spit-take. He'd like to know if you have any mints. You don't. It doesn't matter; the mint question has opened a door and next thing you know, you're chit-chatting with Brad Freakin' Pitt!!! You two are really hitting it off; he's even given some great advice for impressing the Big Investors with your Big Presentation so you can get the Big Promotion. Suddenly, his face changes and he gets very serious. He launches into a well-rehearsed pitch for what is clearly a multi-level-marketing scheme. Is he crying a little bit? He REALLY wants you to invest. Brad Pitt is staring at you pleadingly. He needs an answer. Are you investing in Brad Pitt's multi-level-marketing scheme? If not, how do you escape this situation?

Sinjinflin

You are in New York City for your best friend’s bachelorette party. You’ve all been drinking, and it’s getting late. As the most sober one in the group, you are trying to corral the crew towards the subway. By chance, you glance down the street and spot the groom-to-be, about to enter a cab with someone wearing the best grinch costume you’ve ever seen. Hell, if you didn’t know any better, it could be the actual Grinch. You freeze, as the Grinch locks lips with your best friends fiancé. You blink and rub your eyes, but the cab is already gone, and you’re left with the image seared into your mind. The rest of the bachelorette party is blissfully oblivious, chattering about getting pizza. You realize that explaining “Hey, so I just saw your fiancé snogging the grinch” is a one-way ticket to Crazy-town. You’re still a little drunk, but you’re pretty sure what you saw. What do you do?

thatoneguy

You are deep in debt to the mob after the failure of your Birdlesque venture (think tens of thousands of dollars). When the loan sharks come to collect and you're short you are taken to meet the Don (Jake, feel free to make the Don the Grinch or your preferred silly character if it fits the flow). The Don looks you up and down, listens to your excuses for a minute, before raising his hand. He says to you in an even tone, "I'm a reasonable man, so I'm gonna give you three choices. One, you work your debt off under me (he does not tell you what you will be required to do, but you can assume it is criminal in nature). Two, you can get a pair of cement shoes and a trip to the harbor. Or three, you can eat a bit of Sick Tony" Upon asking, "Who is Sick Tony?" You see the Don and his men immediately put on surgical masks. Some of them even grab gloves and face shields before ushering in a rail thin mobster with a runny nose, sunken eyes, discolored skin and patchy hair. He has repeated coughing fits that last between 50-80 seconds. The sickly mobster reaches into his nose and pulls out the largest booger you've ever seen and sits it on a plate in front of you. The Don assures you your debts will be wiped clean if you eat it, but everyone refuses to tell you what Tony's medical condition is. Which option do you choose?

Katy Pedelty

What can you make out? I have to know

Ergsauz

You are taking a walk through the park with your significant other on a hot summer afternoon. About fifty feet ahead of you you spot a furry green figure laying in the middle of the path. Upon closer inspection it appears to be a man in a movie quality grinch costume (or hell it could even be the grinch himself) teetering on the edge of consciousness with bloodshot eyes and foam dribbling from his mouth. Immediately your SO expresses deep concern and postulates that the grinch must be injured but as you approach to help he whips his head toward you with a crazed look in his eyes and snarls like an animal. Your SO still insists on helping despite the warning signs, do you go along with them or do you call the Grinchbusters?

Kate Huss

The Charlie Brown Toon Town Decision A talent scout knocks on your door and offers you the deal of a lifetime: You have been scouted to become the next Charlie Brown in the long running comic strip "Peanuts" (aka Lil' Folks). The executives are certain you are perfect for the role, and you are their first choice. In this "Toon Town"-esque world, opa Roger Rabbit-style, comic strips are done with carefully staged photographs for each panel, and cartoon shows are broadcast live each time they are scheduled to play on TV (On Demand/Streaming is recorded, but broadcast TV is a live performance every time). As the new Charlie Brown, you would become a toon (a pretty harmless process), and your job each day would be to shoot the photos for the comic strip at the studio, and that's it. It would take about an hour - maybe two on Sundays for the full-color comic. You don't have to go to work if Charlie Brown isn't in that day's script. You can spend your time-off however you want, in the real world or in Toon Town. The job pays insanely well, and you will get perpetual royalties from all Peanuts products (even Snoopy branded items). However, you will be contractually obligated to appear in every Peanuts Holiday special when it airs on TV. This includes the Halloween special, Thanksgiving special, Christmas special, and any other Peanuts episodes that air on TV throughout the year. You'll be busy for the entire holiday with these performances, and you'll never have that day off. The process of becoming a toon is reversible, and a new Charlie Brown is being scouted because the current one is ready to retire. It is a procedure that you can really only do and come back from once, so you wouldn't be able to simply switch forms back and forth. Also, as a toon, you can't get hurt or sick, and you can't die of old age. However, while you are a toon, you can only wear outfits that Charlie Brown has worn in canon, and you can't otherwise change your physical appearance at all. The deal being offered to you starts as a five-year contract with voluntary extensions. If you don't complete at least 5 years as Charlie Brown, you lose out on the perpetual royalties. But, after 5 years of not having to look both ways when you cross the street, would you be willing to risk going back? Do you become the next Charlie Brown and give up your holidays in exchange for a pretty easy, high-profile, and well-paying gig? Or is the life of a toon too much to ask of you? How can you become Charlie Brown when you know you'll never kick that football?

Bam Bambi

You are having a nice relaxing cup of hemp milk when suddenly a towering, dark stone mansion with spires and turrets, gargoyles, and arched crimson windows crash lands into your living room. A pale, almost translucent man with an aura of timeless power and eerie elegance walks out the front door. He tells you that you have been chosen to come live on his planet rent free. You will be put up in a stunning but humble victorian home, with unlimited free income to do as you please. The only caveat is that every morning you will be shaved completely bare as to feed this vampire. Every 2 weeks you will get a haircut of your choosing. "But vampire, I thought you drank blood" you say. He pulls out a knife and swiftly chops off the front of your hair leaving you with a perfect moon cut bang and gobbles up the remains. "No, I eat Keratin" he responds. Do you accept his offer?

NoLifeKitty

You’re given the chance to have any superpower a common comic book character would have, but also whatever their biggest weakness is (kryptonite for Superman, dead parents for Batman etc) who are you choosing and why. Defend your argument. The world is similar to the comics and you can definitely have an arch nemesis who will try and stop you.

Bakuraptor

A TTRPGenie who looks nothing like the Grinch makes you an offer: he'll bump one of your stats (Str, Con, etc.) to 20, but then he'll subtract one from all the others. Do you take the offer, and if so, what stat do you choose?

Hayley Carter

You're walking through times square when Winnie the Pooh and the Grinch in what you assume are costumes start walking beside you. They're so close that your shoulders are touching both of them. Once you cross the street, they stop walking with you. You notice that your wallet is missing, and while you normally wouldn't care your Black Lotus card is in there. Both Winnie and the Grinch are staring at you still, waiting for a reaction. What are you doing?

Beav

You are approached by a world-renown scientist that claims they have nearly perfected a superpower serum that gives you the powers flight, super strength, and a healing factor. The serum would last for 1 full year. However, there is a 5% chance that the drug transforms you into a half-Grinch, half-Crash Bandicoot monstrosity. Do you take the serum and risk a full year of this fate?

Dennis J. Dolan

For the most recent arch of NADDPOD, you have decided to invite a guest to play with you guys (Not unlike how you invited Zac Oyama, Siobhan Thompson, Brennan Lee Mulligan and Adam Conover to play during the first session). They can be whoever you want them to be with one rule; to your knowledge, they have never played D&D or any TTRPG in their life. So you decide to invite them to play a little session 0 to get them comfortable with the game When session 0 roles around, you get a knock at the door and you answer it. It is who you've invited to play with you guys, but they are wearing... quite the outfit. They are wearing, starting from the bottom, shiny black stiletto heels, shiny black leather assless chaps, a chastity belt, a shiny black leather corset, a shiny black leather arm binder pinning their arms behind their back, a ring gag placed firmly in their mouth and a set of PlayBoy bunny ears on their head. After a minute of shock, you guys help them out of the ring gag and the arm binder and Murph, presumably, asks them "what the hell are you wearing, you manic?!". They answer "Uhhhh, sorry. Maybe I'm a bit confused. I thought we were plundering dungeons through an intense role playing experience". After explaining to them the situation, they seem understanding and a little embarrassed and ask for the bathroom. After about 3 minutes, they re-emerge, still wearing everything expect the arm binder and the gag and holding a character sheet (you're not entirely sure where that came from). For the rest of the time they are there, they are cordial and respectful, allowing you to create a fun little atmosphere for the game. They even brought a character that gels well with the rest of the party. However, when pressed about the outfit, they don't bring it up and attempt to brush it off fairly quickly. With all that in mind, do you play with them and potentially include them in of the NADDPOD's latest arch or do you go full Murph and make them change the outfit?

Brennan Wion

You find yourself trapped in a maze without any modern conveniences (no phone, no gps, etc.) You do have a compass and a blank sheet of paper and pencil that you can use to draw a map, a light source, and a couple days' worth of travel rations. Fresh water is readily available throughout the maze and there are also regularly spaced and completely sanitary bathrooms available. You know implicitly that the instant you leave the room you start in, you will be hunted by a being dredged from your nightmares, whether Crash Bandicoot, Fat Bastard, or even Ron Burgundy. If this creature catches you before you escape, you will suffer a horrible fate unless you somehow manage to fight it off or evade it. There are potentially other monsters and hazards in the maze. You also have three chests in front of you. Opening one will lock the other two permanently. The first chest will give you the abilities and restrictions of any fifth level D&D character of your choice, including level-appropriate equipment and resources. (The nightmare creature is too powerful to win a fair fight against but you might be able to arrange an unfair fight, stealth past it, etc. or you might just get lucky and roll a nat 20) The second chest contains a single-shot rocket launcher that is guaranteed to obliterate the nightmare creature but grants no other items, abilities, or resources (beyond the ability to aim the rocket launcher with a reasonable chance of hitting what you aim at). The rocket launcher might also be able to blow a hole in one wall of the maze but probably wouldn't let you escape the maze entirely. The third chest contains a Grinch costume that would grant you all the abilities and resources of the Grinch, whatever you understand those to be. Which chest do you choose, what nightmare do you face, and how do you survive and escape the maze?

Bruno Fant

Another one You got an extra day off today , and you've made a series of plans to tick off as many items from your todo list as possible. Doctor, bank, DMV, the works. As you enter your doctor's office, bright and early, you find that you're alone in the waiting room - not even the receptionist is there to welcome you. No problem, you're probably the first appointment of the day. The doctor opens his door, and welcomes you... in full juggalo attire, makeup included. He has an embarrassed smile, and explains to you that his son, 13, is a juggalo, and that in an effort to bond with him (and keep him safe), 'they' went together at the Gathering of the Juggalos over the weekend (note: you have no idea whether there indeed was a Gathering this weekend), and came back at the crack of dawn. The doctor didn't have time to change and didn't want to keep you waiting. The visit goes otherwise smoothly, and the doctor behaves like the consummate professional he is. As you exit his office, you notice that the receptionist is finally here !.... In full juggalo attire, makeup included. She laughs at your surprise and say "the doctor told you I assume ? I'm his wife" A bit shaken by this interaction, you decide to grab a drink at the bodega/corner store close by. As you approach the till holding your Sonic/G-FUEL collab energy drink, the older owner welcomes you... in full juggalo attire, makeup included. She explains to you in hesitant words that her granddaughter's school has a charity drive where 1$ will be paid to Surprise Fight Against Cancer for each signature they gather from people who "didn't expect to see that" (undefined). She shows you the website, which seems to check out, and says that "her granddaughter told her dressing up like this would worrk 100% of the time". On and on it goes. Every person you will interact with throughout the day will greet you dressed in full juggalo attire, makeup included, and yet will never mention, and barely have knowledge of, Insane Clown Posse. However, everyone will have a perfectly resonable explanation (on its own). If you try and voluntarily extend the streak, it will go into the hundreds, into the thousands, without a miss or any indication that it will stop. You don't even know if going to bed will do anything. After how many juggalos do you start to unravel ?

Logan Carpenter

You come across a mad scientist (not crazy just grouchy) looking for someone to use his teleporting machine, in return you get a large sum of money. The machine is proven to be successful and can teleport you anywhere in an instant. At the time of the first use however it creates a grinch-esque clone of yourself, hell it might even be (insert name here) themselves. It’s grinch-like in all mannerisms and speech but everything else is the exact clone of you. Do you take this offer, and how much would you need to be paid?

Emil

You are going to stay at an old college friend's house. You were very close, but haven't kept in touch since graduation. They are super excited to see you, and you quickly fall into your old dynamic. When they drive you to their house, you notice they are a somewhat reckless driver, but not to the point where you feel in danger. If you ask to stop, they insist that you go to the house first for vague reasons. When you enter their house, the first thing you see is over their mantle is a large, suspiciously realistic Sonic the Hedgehog's head mounted like a deer, with a horrified expression on his face. If you comment on it, the friend laughs and says in a joking tone that they hit "that weird looking animal" while driving home after graduation. If you identify it as Sonic, they act as if they have no idea who or what that is. They are nervous and clearly lying. Your phone has zero bars. As the night goes on, after going through a bottle of white wine together, the friend insists on you staying at their house alone while they go get food. Hours pass. You hear banging on the door. You can see through the peephole short yellow and red figures, but you cannot get a good enough view to confirm what they are. They demand that you open the door, saying, "I know you have him! You can't hide forever," and do not believe you if you say you are not the homeowner. What do you do?

Thortron

DBG (Dragon Ball Grinch), idk if reading that out-loud spoils the whole thing. You’re hitting the thrift store circuit in town, when you find 6/7 Dragon Balls & 1 Dragon Ball Radar in a sealed case at the thrift store for $299 USD (tax free of course, these are actual non-profits). When you ask to inspect it, they explain that the donor’s instructions were specific: they can’t actually take the Dragon Balls out of the case until it’s purchased, as the case is made of a special radar-blocking material (case ain’t for sale, don’t even ask). They explain further that the Green Grinch Army (led by a man in an impeccable Grinch costume, or hell it could be the actual Grinch) are actively hunting for the Dragon Balls so they can wish to transform the leader into the Super Grinch & steal Christmas world-wide. You turn to your partner for advice, but they’re too busy trying on bucket hats & the sight of it infuriates you so much that you have to leave ASAP. Do you buy the 6/7 Dragon Balls & 1 Dragon Ball radar for $299 USD, or has the terror of the Green Grinch Army left you doomed to be a background character in Dragon Ball forever? Edit: you don’t have cell service.

Douglas Galdamez

You and your spouse have decided to have a 2nd honeymoon, you spend lots of money to book a weekend vacation at a fancy resort. Beautiful beaches, huge pool, free goggles (for Emily), delicious food and beverages. The staff are some of the best. Throughout the weekend, whenever separated from your spouse for any given time, you spot someone dresses as Crash bandicoot, or hell it could be the real Crash himself, causing chaos and being belligerent (Destroying property). Anytime you try to show your spouse the scene, it's all been cleaned up and Crash is nowhere to be found. When asking the staff, they assure you nothings wrong and to keep enjoying your stay. This happens multiple times. Anytime you look away, Crash and mess are cartoonishly gone. The more you bring attention to it the more upset your spouse becomes, who just wants to enjoy the honeymoon. How do you handle the whole weekend?

Tori the Tungsten Dragoose, Murph Malds Madly

It's Christmas Day in Whoville, and you're enjoying a lovely feast with your family, and the Grinch. After he inexplicably saved Christmas, it only seemed right to invite him to enjoy the day. But then it hits you like age 40 hit Cinnamon. The Grinch's originally terrible demeanor changing to sudden and exuberant support of Christmas could be explained by microcardia, and then a cardiac event during the period of exertion trying to push the sleigh. As the greatest cardiac surgeon Whoville has ever seen, you feel obligated to help this strange furry green man. You rush the Grinch to Whoville memorial hospital for an emergency series of tests where your worst fears are confirmed. Without a heart transplant within 48 hours, the Grinch will die. The odds of finding a matching donor heart within this time period are astronomically low. You tell your wife, the hospital's Chief of Medicine, the grim news. To which she responds, "If it were me, I would want to know. But the odds of saving him are so low, and he's finally truly happy. Maybe it's best to let him go with a smile on his face." While you're considering whether or not to let the Grinch die happy and ignorant, you hear a comically loud "WHOOPSIE DAISY" from outside. Almost immediately after, you see a furry green man with accents of grey swing to his death from a string of Christmas lights he seemed to be attempting to steal from the hospital. ID found on the body is that of one Damien Grunch, the Grinch's father. Testing concludes that the Grinch's father is indeed a match for a heart transplant, and had a healthy heart. One problem: He wasn't an organ donor. Do you steal his father's heart, saving the Grinch, but returning him to his Grinchy self? Or do you let the Grinch pass, unaware he ever could have survived, but still knowing true joy?

Tori the Tungsten Dragoose, Murph Malds Madly

It's a normal day in the 'Tudio when Murph gets up and excuses himself to use the bathroom. After being gone for a concerning amount of time, he returns in a period accurate 1970s US Navy officer's dress whites, with a high and tight haircut that has clearly been hastily bleached, and dyed gray. He now insists on being called "Admiral Murphy". When asked about it, he simply says "What's with the third degree? I just thought I'd try out a new look. I thought it would be alright with you guys, but clearly you have a problem with experimentation." Roll perception (All roll with +4. Murph, pretend you're a cat, or something.): DC 10 Murph's eyes are slightly darker DC 15 Murph sounds a bit more Jersey DC 20 Distant muffled speech is audible The muffled speech will be impossible to miss if anyone enters the bathroom Murph came from, but entry will be strongly discouraged by Admiral Murphy. The source of the noise is a bound and gagged Murph, hidden in the bathroom. If asked, both insist they are the real Brian Murphy. But only Admiral Murphy has specific knowledge of Murph's life only he would know. Restrained Murphy claims his lack of knowledge is temporary, and was caused by head trauma from Admiral Murphy when he struck him on the head with the toilet tank lid. But past that, neither Murph is at all hostile, or mean spirited. Do you try to figure out who the real Murph is, or are you guys cool with suddenly having two Murphs? And if you decide to get to the bottom of it, what do you do with the impostor?

Glenn D AKA Mcdoogins

You go car shopping and find a rusty but solid classic yellow hotrod. The salesman isn't really sure where it came from so he offers you a good deal. When you take the car for its first spin you discover that it is actually the Tranformer Bumblebee! Do you keep the car knowing that it means you have a codependent vehicle following you around which occasionally involves you in life-threatening missions? Or do you return it leaving it for the next jabroni to buy?

Jeffrey Steck, Lord of the Fjord

You are at a hotel in Vegas and you go for a midday swim on your own. The pool is relatively crowded. You are exploring the bottom of the pool in your goggles, Axford style. Your suit bottom gets caught on something and shreds it, making it unable to be worn. You are naked from the waist down. Your phone and towel are by your chair, like 12 ft away. What do you do?

Sarah Litwak

You’re dropping your kid off Fer their first day of kindergarten. The classroom is immaculate, the teacher is incredible, and the whole school is spoken very highly of. When you arrive to drop off you spot another parent wearing a grinch costume. Or, hell, the costume is so realistic it might be the Grinch himself. You think nothing of it until you see them coming to your kids classroom, with a child in a so realistic you can’t tell if it’s actually a costume Baby Grinch costume. You decide to bring it up to the teacher who says something about “cultural differences”. Do you leave your child at school? Or do you consider a lower quality, grinch free education?

Jenneryy

You receive a brown paper package in the mail, addressed to you, and when you open it you find an old game genie cartridge — only instead of the connectors for a game boy, it now has a connection for your smartphone. It’s bulky and pretty obvious when on your phone, but when plugged in a new app appears! This app allows you to pause and rewind real life for up to 1 hour at a time. You cannot fast forward, and any time you use it for (whether paused time or rewound time) is doubled in the effects on your body. For example, if you rewind 1 hour, you effectively add 2 hours to how long you’ve lived, which will age you faster. You must have the phone out in your hand when using the app. Would you use it? For what uses would you accept the time deficits?

Leo

I think you need to talk about the actual thing that happened at the Olympics: You compete at the Olympics in High Jump and millions of people watch you lose out on a medal. However, in losing, everyone is also alerted to your huge hog. Do you take the deal?

Sydney

You are a scientist who generally works with mice. For weeks, your boss has been talking about this brand new test subject that would really enhance your lab’s research productivity. You even notice him snacking on suspicious orange fruit. On the day of the new subject’s arrival, your boss brings in a covered metal cage; he removes the cover to reveal an emaciated and bloody Crash Bandicoot. Crash looks miserable to be trapped inside, but he’s so heavily chained he can’t use his spin attack to break free. When you’re alone with him, he begs you to free him, but the look in his eyes makes it clear he’ll beat the shit out of you once a year if you do; but some of these experiments are really unethical. What do you do?

Cory

You're alone on a nature walk when you spot someone lying prone in a full Sonic The Hedgehog furry costume, or hell, it could be Sonic himself. When you approach, he begs you to bring him to the hospital like two blocks away because he ate so many chili dogs at once that his intestines have compacted into a solid mass. When you get to the emergency room, he says that you can have his shoes, which will multiply the speed of your walking and running to any speed you can imagine, on one condition: you must not look at his feet. Do you sneak a peek when he's not looking? Do you take his shoes at all? Discuss, you steamy Samaritans.

Dragonkillbot

You work at a muti-billion dollar company, [insert company name here], As you finish up the last of your work, your phone alarm goes off, showing its time for Lunch. Making your way down stairs your eyes are assaulted with the color green. You see that everything from the meats down to the water bottles have been dyed Grinch Green. You could swear the meat has speck of green has. The crazy thing is no one is acting like it's out of the ordinary. People are buying this grinch themed lunch. The only other option is a Manja's that 20 minutes away. DO You take the grinch lunch, or go to Manja's knowing that by the time you get back you won't have any time to eat?

Daan Henselmans

You’re traveling to a different city for work, and have to get to your hotel. When you arrive at the airport taxi stand, there is only one cab waiting. A middle-aged taxi driver, whose skin is azure blue, is leaning against the door. The taxi driver is wearing the same clothing, jewelry, and hairstyle as the Genie from Disney's Aladdin. When you get in and state your destination, the Genie says “that’s your first wish, pal.” The taxi is enveloped in blue smoke, and when it clears you are on the highway. The Genie drives very aggressively, alternately tailgating and slamming the brakes, all while shouting threats at other drivers. He rudely cuts off any questions or attempts you make at small talk. When you finally ask him if he could slow down a little bit, he says “alright asshole, that’s your second wish”, and the taxi is enveloped in blue smoke again, but he does drive more calmly from then on. When you get to the hotel, you hand him a hundred, but he doesn’t motion to give you any change. Instead, he glowers at you menacingly, cocks an eyebrow, and says “waiting for something? You got a third wish, pal?” Your luggage is still in the trunk. Do you make a third wish to this clearly unstable but possibly magical man, or do you avoid the risk of antagonizing him any further?

Ian

You are going about your day when an ice confection genie appears before you and offers a gift, upon accepting he transports you to the infinite freezer, where lies every color and texture of popsicle, but only Popsicles You are told that your gift is a single popsicle that promises to be the very best version of its flavor of popsicle you've ever had, so a banana popsicle would be the best banana cherry the best cherry and so on but you know that not all flavors of popsicle are created equal and as you look around you see that none of the Popsicles are labelled you only have the color and texture to go off of which do you choose?

Orion

You’re in your bathroom going about your usual morning routine. However, when you go to put on your favorite moisturizer, you find the container mysteriously empty. Suddenly, your medicine cabinet swings open, and out pops a man in an incredibly realistic Mario costume, or hell, it’s so realistic, it might actually be Mario himself. He offers you an unlabeled tube of what appears to be toothpaste and promises that it’s a great moisturizer and it does wonders for your skin. When you open the cap, the substance inside looks and smells like toothpaste, but Mario does have amazingly clear skin. Do you use the moisturizer that Mario offers you?

Nicole Jordan

(Inspired by a relisten to a Dungeon Court) You are finally going to propose to your long term partner and have gone out to purchase an engagement ring. The first jewelry store you go into, you are immediately drawn to a perfect ring. You know it is exactly your partners dream ring. So, naturally you want the rock and you need the rock. You prepare to purchase it but you were so entranced by the ring that you didn’t notice the employee behind the counter. You look up and see someone in an incredibly realistic Sonic costume or hell, it may be Sonic himself. Something is off about this Sonic- his eyes have a desperate, dead glaze to them and his fur is thinning. Blue clumps cover the counter. When you say you’d like to purchase the ring you hear Sonic whisper emphatically under his breath “oh thank God. I thought this day would never come.” This would usually give you pause but the thing is you want the rock and you need the rock. Do you buy the ring?

Dirt Person

NO GRINCH/SONIC You wake up one morning to discover that, during your slumber, your soul has been transported into the body of a crusty pirate captain. You Stumble out of your cabin and learn that you are in command of the Sea Witch, a 28 gun cutter built in the early 1800s. Your crew of scallywags and cutthroats look at you expectantly and a man you gather to be your first mate says "Arrrr, Capn' we have arrived just off the coast of California, as ye ordered. But where be this 'Disney Land' ye said we were to plunder?" It eventually becomes clear that the crew all think that Disney Land is a place of great riches that they can raid for gold. You get the impression that they would react poorly snd probably mutiny were you to call off this raid. How do you execute your raid? Keeping in mind you are in command of a pirate ship in the 2020s and that Disney Land is actually a couple of miles from the coast?

Luke McCauley

Imagine, if you will, you are The Rock. You’re doing a quick fan meet n greet between a 4 hour gym session and pissing in a Voss water bottle when suddenly, a normal man approaches you and says “Not only do you boast about your inflated Netflix numbers, but I could take two punches to the face from you before the damage is irreversible.” I ask you, do you oblige him? Do you cry? Or do you simply turn the other cheek? ps I am the same guy from the hearth side chat.

Sean

Simple , you get a perfect night’s sleep every night but any bed you sleep in transforms to one made from the bones of your ancestors (equal part ancestor per person in bed)

Rocksteady

Your Elbow deep into a bag of chips with a satisfying amount of flavor dust on them. You've been watching whatever TV show/Movie strikes your fancy most recently and REALLY getting into it for the last hour eating these chips. Before you completely finish the bag, you look down to see the damage you've done to these delicious crispy crunchmakers and learn that the flavor dust you've been eating is Blue. Not just any blue either, Electric Neon lightning blue. As you learn this, you bump the remote control to the news and learn that there has been a recall on the brand of chips you are eating because of a "Hedgehog Related Incident" at the factory they are created. Before you can get to your next thought, there is video cited in the news of a large man in a Dirty Sonic the Hedgehog costume with an armful of blue hedgehogs rollerblading into the factory before the video cuts. It cannot be stress how delicious these chips have been. Do you finish the chips?

Pyt

I’m absolutely losing it over Batman’s weakness being dead parents lol. Like someone finds out his identity and they just keep screaming “haha dead parents boy.” Or Batman finds out a villain has dead parents and come to bring himself to attack them lol.

Nemo_Nihil17

You are contacted out of the blue by your young and virile Grandad(or GrandLad, if you will) who wants to take you on a nature walk/hike through a nearby mountainous area. You say yes and meet him there. He hands you a large machete in a cloth sheathe for, as he says, "Emergencies". He carries a small picnic basket as you begin your hike. After an hour, you two reach a small clearing with remnants of past campfires scattered around. Your Grandlad sets up the picnic and tells you to hide in a nearby bush for a "Surprise". Out of nowhere, a bipedal bear wearing a green tie and a small green cap leaps onto the picnic basket and begins rifling through it savagely. This is Yogi Bear, or someone in a Yogi bear costume, you truly can't tell. Your Grandlad, in perfect form, tackles Yogi and puts him in a camel clutch submission move while nodding for you to come help him. He says "Use the machete! Do it!" Yogi looks up at you with pleading eyes and starts to whimper. You Grandlad says he's been hunting Yogi for years, and now, finally, he can take him out and retire. Do you save Yogi or do as your Grandlad says?

Alex M

You are presented with a button that, when pushed, ensures you always awake from sleep feeling well rested. It doesn’t matter if it’s 4 hours of sleep, a quick nap, or an attempt at shut eye on a turbulent 8 hr flight next to Ron Burgundy, you ALWAYS feel refreshed and rested upon waking. However, from this point on, any time you enjoy a new movie, tv show, or book, a spectral outline of a man who looks suspiciously like Ewan McGregor in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, tiny ponytail and all, will shout out spoilers for that piece of media. “Rachel dies in animorphs.” “Olaf dies in Frozen 2.” All these and more will be screamed by a ghostly visage who only you can see and hear. He cannot be reasoned or bargained with. Any attempts to physically stop him will fail. Do you accept this deal?

McSandwich

WARNING: GRINCH MENTION You find yourself stranded on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on your back. The island is relatively large, and there is plenty of food and clean water to last you indefinitely. However, stalking around the island is a colossal 15 foot tall person in a Grinch costume. Or hell, it's so realistic it could be a real Elder Grinch. The Elder Grinch does not require food, water, or sleep and survives solely on spite. It is as ruthless as a minotaur and as cocky as Falco Lombardi. It is definitely stalking you. However, legends say that if you slay the Elder Grinch, you get one wish granted. The wish can be anything. It is known that Elder Grinches pose massive danger to the local ecosystem, but uou know there is only one Elder Grinch. A cruise ship appears on the horizon that offers to take you home. The boat will definitely get home in two weeks, however the ship is filled with hundreds of regular sized Grinches all of whom are hitting each other with frying pans, poking each other's eyes, etc. The Grinches are able to easily recover from any injuries, in some sort of Day of the Dead style Zombie Grinch-pocalypse. The ship must leave after you make your decision. Do you get on the ship, knowing it can get you home if you can survive the onslaught of Grinches, or do you take your chances against the singular monolithic Elder Grinch in a chance to get a wish?

The Infinite Scroll

You're sitting down to lunch at your uncle's house. He's a bit of a party animal and always has the best stories, plus he's a great cook! You're about halfway through your mushroom soup when he takes a closer look at one of the mushrooms in his spoon. “Oh Shit” he says. “That’s not a regular mushroom!” Your uncle grabs the spoon out of your hand and says, “We just ate a ton of -”, then his eyes go wide and he begins staring off in the distance, unresponsive to anything you do. Strangely enough, you’re feeling fine, but before you can investigate further, the door bursts open. A tall figure rushes into the room, wearing an incredibly realistic Grinch costume… Hell - if you didn’t know better, it might even be the Grinch himself. He slams a toy figurine on the table in front of you. It’s a little Grinch. “Now listen here, Kiddo: I’ve got a job for you.” The Grinch’s mouth opens into an unsettlingly wide smile and his teeth sparkle. “You’re gonna take this here doll and get your uncle to eat it.” Before you protest, he shouts: “I don’t care how! Just make sure he eats it, and I’ll give you… hmmm… one of these!” He retrieves a glowing orb from a marsupial pouch on his body. The air around it crackles with energy. “Its an Asterite Orb” He says, waving his hands in a pseudo-mystical pattern. “Ooooh. Dolphins love these, by the way. And it’s yours if you get him to scarf that down! Don’t worry, it won’t turn him into a Grinch.” He winks ambiguously, and before you can ask him any questions, he runs away and is gone. “Huh.” You uncle says. “Maybe it was just regular mushrooms. What’s that?” He points to the toy grinch. What do you do?

David Klein

You work at a Knife Factory. A customer asks you to sharpen theyylarge pocket knife, after you sharpen it you go up to them to hand the knife back but you spot a tattoo on their calf and loudy exclaim "Hey man, that's an awesome Jim Carrey Grinch Tattoo!" To which the customer replies "That's the incredible Hulk I just got this tattoo" And looks very upset. Do you hand him back his freshly sharpened knife even though he seems very angry and upset. Or do you hand the knife to the new guy at work and let him potentially get stabbed? The Customer is making stabbing motions in the air. (This is a real event that happened to me, minus the customer making stabbing motions I let the new guy take the risk un knowingly. He didn't get stabbed but I'm definitely no longer a good person)

Nyx

Cleaning out your closet you find a dusty anchent copy of good night moon. Written on the back page are three spells. One to teleport you and anything you are carrying or wearing to anywhere on the moon and a second spell to teleport you and anything you are wearing or carrying back to anywhere you want on the earth. The last incantation makes you fall asleep and have a restful 8 hours of sleep as proof the magic is real. The catch, to cast any of these spells you must read good night moon out loud as if you were reading it to a young child. Do you ever try going to the moon?

Maia

Your Last PC Standing The four of you are wrapping up another superb naddpod episode, goofing off on the sign off as usual, when all of a sudden the room goes pitch black around you. You come to in a completely new environment. It looks like you are in the stands of an ancient colosseum. In the pit below your player characters from each campaign (plus Balnor and Kenna) are chained to separate pillars. As you take in this incredible sight you notice you each have a strange wand in your hands. A mysterious voice fills the colosseum. “In two minutes time these hero’s will be released- And battle royal till all but one lay deceased- In your hands is a wand of 50 healing power Choose but one to help or the magic turns sour Claim your Champion before the fight begins And you may yet have a say in who wins” Who do you name?

Choc DISCO

You, and the rest of your party, have spent the last two sessions, or about six hours of play, going through an exhaustingly difficult dungeon; all for a McGuffin that will save the world. Finally, you and your party reach the supposed last room, where the McGuffin is destined to be. Sent ahead by your friends to check for traps, you enter, only to witness the McGuffin being taken off of its pedestal and placed into a Santa bag by someone in a realistic Grinch costume, or hell, the Grinch himself. He mouths the words ‘No one will ever believe you,’ and then jumps onto his sleigh, flying away without a trace. He is gone before anyone else can see him. What do you say or do? (For the sake of the hypothetical, everyone in this world has seen both the original animated movie and Jim Carrey’s live action adaptation, and everyone would have the same reaction like the real world to seeing The Grinch.)

Sydney Ess

You are at a WWE match with your significant other, with ringside seats, a very expensive get. Your relationship has hit a rough patch but you went to the match to try to help bond. During the end of the match Randy Orton, who has been wrestling the whole time and looks fatigued, points at you and says "I have a deal for you, swap in with this loser. if you win, you get 5 million dollars, ringside seats for life and 1 item out of Vince McMahon's McMansion. If you lose you get 1 million dollars and I'm going to divorce my wife, marry your spouse, and be the best man/maid of honor at the wedding". Your spouse has talked about how much they love Randy Orton and looks very excited either way. Do you fight Randy Orton?

DadJokesAreLife

It's Friday night and you and your partner have tickets to see your favorite band in concert. The show is sold out and you've been nervous about finding parking, so you have decided to take a ride share instead of driving yourself. You order the car and see that your request has been accepted by WP and he will be there in a few minutes. You also notice that the fare is listed as $0.00 for the trip. Moments later, a car pulls up being driven by what appears to be someone in a hyper realistic Winnie the Pooh costume, or hell, maybe it's Pooh himself. He rolls down the window to confirm you are the one who ordered a car. You ask about the listed $0 price and he says "Oh yeah, well, I got into a spot of trouble with my reviews. Kids these days, they just can't take a joke. You know, back in my day..." He continues to complain about social media and wokeness for the next five minutes straight with no room for you to interject. You and your partner exchange glances. You know if you leave now, you'll probably be so late from the parking nightmare that you'll miss part of the show and you know there's no opening act. So do you take the ride from Boomer Pooh or do you risk missing part of the show and drive yourself?

John Dulong

You’re leaving an office building alone, late at night following a very important meeting. You closed a big deal in this meeting; things are going really good for you. The parking lot is deserted, but for three cars – yours, and two cars parked next to yours (one immediately next to you, and one behind). As you get to your vehicle, someone gets into the green sports car next to yours, turns the car on quickly and guns the engine, cutting the wheel, and backing up into the only other car in the parking lot – the modest station wagon parked behind you. As the car peels away, you catch a glimpse of the vanity license plate – M34N 0N3 – and in the rear-view mirror, you see a pair of yellow eyes, and a set of green fur. Yes, this driver is wearing a phenomenal Jim Carrey-esque Grinch costume – or hell, it could be The Grinch himself. No one else witnessed this hit and run, but to all the world it looks like you’re the only other car that could’ve hit this station wagon. Do you try to report it to the owner of the other car?

brendan

You have been waiting in line at In-N-Out for ten minutes, hungry for a Double-Double combo meal. You overhear that several customers ahead of you are, predictably, paying the price on the sign for their DD combos. However, when it's finally your turn to order, the employee states that anything that YOU order will cost twice as much as normal. Every time you ask for any sort of justification for this bizarre policy, the employee only shakes their head and says "Sorry, but rules are rules." You've already waited a while and are very hungry. What do you do? (The situation is the same at the counter and the drive-through)

Will S

Unbeknownst to you, for you have nought to compare it to, you find yourself in a world of grinches beyond compare: your family, your neighbours, all a shade of repugnant green, all hairy from feet to forehead in Seussian splendour. One fateful Grinchmas morn, you find someone in a human costume – or hell, it could even be a human themselves - breaking into your cave not to take gifts, but to deliver them, shattering your predisposed Grinchian view of socioeconomics. Upon seeing them, you have flashbacks to a world of only humans (our world, for the confused), of your human spouse, and human house. It breaks you. The human tells you he’s here to return everyone to how they were, to humans, but you aren’t sure. You’re pretty sure you have a thing for Grinches now, and the collective surge in morality and heart size could really put a strain on the Grinchian hospitals (there is universal healthcare). Do you leave things green, or return to reality?

Valens

Your friend is hosting a 4th of July party. The sun is shining, the molsons are flowing, and everyone is hungry for that bbq. Your friend asks you to check on the caterer who is grilling the food for the party out front. Your friend is super excited about this caterer and has been hyping it up to the party all day. When you walk out to check on them, you see working the grill is a person in a Grinch costume, or hell it's so realistic, it might be the real Grinch. The Grinch tells you the food will be ready soon, and that's when you hear it, barking coming from the Grinch's food truck. The Grinch sees your concern and with ZERO sarcasm says "Don't worry, those aren't the dogs I'm grilling." Do you report this to your friend or do you let the party continue undisturbed?

Luke McCauley

Grinch Pandemic Imagine if you will, you’re spending a nice fall evening drinking tea and watching the Grinch with your yaunt and uncle when your uncle suddenly gasps in pain. He has cut his finger on the Grinch DVD case and immediately begins to transform into a Grinch oppa Animorphs style. You watch in horror as thick green fur forces its way through his skin and his facial bones shift with a sickening crunch. Your yaunt screams in terror as your Gruncle (Grinch Uncle) desperately reaches out for help but his very touch immediately triggers the transformation in her too. You see your Gruncle’s prized hunting rifle hanging over the mantle, knowing it’s always loaded. Do you take out your Graunt and Gruncle right then and there and go to prison over killings impossible to explain? Or do you let the disease grow into a Grandemic (Grinch Pandemic)?

Jeremias B

An Archfey appears and offers you a bargain. You can give any amount of money to anyone, at no cost to yourself, for a year. You cannot directly or indirectly financially benefit in any way from your gifts. For example, if you give your mom money to buy a new car, the car mysteriously will not work when she tries to give you a ride to the airport in it. At the end of the year, the total amount of money you gave will be spent on an advertising campaign revealing completely true embarassing information about you. Giving away $100 total might result in a bad unaltered photo being displayed at a small town bus shelter, but giving away $100 Million all but guarantees a slick global ad campaign telling your most embarassing secrets, complete with a Superbowl Ad. Do you take the deal? And if so, how much do you give, and to whom?

xatlern

You make a new friend at the gym. She tells you that she hasn't been able to make a lot of friends locally, because she just moved here with her boyfriend from Hawaii, and it's so hard to make friends as an adult. She seems really fun and cool, and you can't understand why she's having such a trouble with making new friends. You hang out more and more and eventually you decide to invite her and her boyfriend over for dinner, and your partner is eager to meet your new friend, too. When the day comes, she arrives at your door saying "hi, this is my boyfriend, Gex" and you see a literal gecko wearing sunglasses next to her. What do you do?

Flyte Mike

The Milk Hypothetical As a St. Patricks day promo, your local grocery store is selling green milk by the gallon. People have said its the best milk they have ever drank. However, as you are checking out at the register, you see when the employees only door swings open, a man in an insanely realistic grinch costume (hell it could be the grinch himself) on all fours with what seems to be a cow utter. Before you can confirm exactly what you saw, the door swings back closed. Do you buy the green milk that everyone is going crazy for? If so, how much? Or would the mere glimpse of what you think you saw deter you from partaking in that delectable green milk

Aiden

Imagine this: you are out with your friends for you 43rd birthday and after a nice dinner with good laughs and a few drinks you decide to hit up a karaoke bar. You get there and feel a little shy so you wait to sing, opting to cheer and support your friends instead. When you finally build up the courage to take the stage and plug in George Micheal's - Careless Whisper, the opening note causes the Grinch (Who was with his friends at the bar) to rush the stage, rip the microphone from your hand, and give the single greatest live musical performance youve ever seen in your life. What do you do?

Craig

You live in a reality where the grinch never learned a lesson after stealing christmas, instead his rage + 'grinch powers' overtook the organized crime world, making him well known and publicly feared due to chaotic nature. The police can do nothing... One day while driving, you accidentally rear end is car in an intersection. Terrified of his cruel unpredictable nature, you beg the grinch for mercy and he decides to offer you as chance at survival by means of a duel to the death. The catch? He will give you the choice of weapons with no time to prepare. There is no running, there is no hiding, dueling the grinch to the death is the only way to survive. The weapon choices the grinch gives are: nunchucks, 'teeth', and something the grinch calls: 'Santa's sack'. What do you choose?

Jeffrey Steck, Lord of the Fjord

You’re invited to hang out with The Rock for a day. Lunch, swimming, and relaxing in the sauna. He says you absolutely must try his homemade “5-alarm” chili and gives you a big bowl. While you like spicy stuff, it gives you horrible gas and the most rancid smelling farts. Do you refuse the chili and possibly hurt his feelings or eat it and take the chance that it may come back to haunt you later in the sauna?

FlanMan

You and your gorgeous wife/husband of 25 years are relaxing in bed one night when your gorgeous wife/husband rolls over to your side of the bed and tells you that they have a confession. They then apologize for lying all these years, and reveal to you that they are a Grinch. They then wipe makeup off their face, and reveal their true image. They are green, hairy, and have yellow eyes. You are unsure if you are being Punk'd or if it is legit because it appears to be such a realistic costume, or perhaps they really are a Grinchl. How would you react, and would you file for divorce? Note, you have two beautiful children who are now out of the house, but have always been a little more hairy than most people.

Joel Jansen

You are presented with a button, which when pressed will instantly give you $10 000. The catch? With every press, 100 Gexes will spawn into various cities around the world. They will immediately begin wreaking havoc: robbing banks, stealing cars, pickpocketing people, etc. While they will try not to injure anyone, they will stop at nothing to accomplish something they set their mind on. Do you press the button (and how many times if so)?

Jazzo

Would you permanently reduce your in real life skill points to one if it meant you would get the exclusive rights to a version of the Dungeons and Dragons (2000) film where Marlon Wayans character Snails survives? What IRL skill would you choose to decimate?

Will Putman

You're about to enter the venue to your best friend of 10+ years wedding (you're the best man/woman/person), your hand is about to grab the door handle when suddenly a blue streak speeds between you and the door. Sonic the hedgehog with the most grim look you've ever seen on his face just says "Dont". Before you can ask any questions he speeds away. Do you attend the wedding?

Toastiferous

You are a Who, and you have just died. You wake up in heaven, and are surprised to find yourself face to face with the terror of your people: the Grinch, who burned to death in a fireplace after stealing Christmas. You are shocked to see him here in paradise, but everyone else says he's "actually a really good guy now". Do you believe them?

Juniper the Imp loves Jens Lyndelle

You have been selected as this season's Bachelor/Bachelorette. However, when you get there the people participating are all dressed like characters from the Naddpodverse (options are from the 8-hour flight episode) hell they might even be them. Do you stay, and if you do, who would get your first impression rose?

Rumblebump-Cumbersnatch

You're an aspiring actor in LA, you've been bussing tables for a couple of years waiting for your big break, when suddenly, you get offered a gig. You're offered the leading role in a Witcher spin-off. Keen to ride the success of the Witcher series, the studio are trying to push this through as fast as possible and don't share any information on it. It's the Witcher, so you take the job, no brainer. You arrive on set and are shown to your dressing room. As the door shuts behind you, you see your costume ready to go on a chair. The traditional black leathers and shirts of the Witcher have been replaced with rich green fabrics. Tufts of green fur poke out from the bottom of the green leather trousers and the ends of sleeves of the green linen shirt. The slicked back wig of long hair, instead of white, is bright green. As you examine this, the director comes in and drops the final script on your dressing table. You glance at the title, which reads: the Gwincher. Do you go ahead with shooting?

Sonsa

The Wings of Icarus One day, a whimsical Uncle Grinch with fairy wings flitters up to you and delivers information you know to be absolutely true: From this day forth, if you can squeeze in a certain impression into interactions in your life, there will be a 0.0005% chance (1 in 200,000 chance) that you will gain the amazing ability to fly Superman-style - no practice needed, and no one will even care in a dangerous way, you won't get uncomfortably famous and no one will capture you and study you for science or anything like that. If you tell anyone about these circumstances then your chance of flight is gone forever, you must try to secretly squeeze this impression in naturally to have a chance at the impossibly wonderous power of Superman-style flight. If you are lucky enough to successfully gain the ability of flight, you get to keep it, no need to continue squeezing in the impression, you did it, mission accomplished. This certain impression must be: The Captain N version of Pit from Kid Icarus - the one with the weird adult baby voice that would always put "icus" at the end of stuff, like "You got it, Your Highn-icus!" The interactions must be with conscious humans, you can't get away with trying interactions repeatedly with pets or people who are asleep. Is your life ruined?

Sonsa

Wedding Wail Woes You're at your wedding day right before the big kiss, holding hands with your beloved, beautiful vows have been shared, and the Officiant finally gets to the "You may now kiss the bride" part. You kiss, friends and family celebrate, but right after the kiss you see the Officiant says "Up top!" and holds up their hand to you for a high-five. As this happens, for whatever reason, your phone in your pocket starts playing very loud, off-putting sex noises. Moans, aggressive grunts, yelps, everything. You try to lower the volume, which doesn't work, but instead you shut off your phone entirely as fast as you can given the shock. It takes about 15 grueling seconds and now, things, understandably, feel awkward. Some members of the audience are doing their best to ignore what just happened, some can't make eye contact, and some legitimately look disappointed. After a few beats sitting in this moment, the Officiant, also looking uncomfortable, looks back to you with a still confused but serious look as they wordlessly raise their arm back up for another attempt at a high-five with you. Do you try to offer any excuse to your audience and do you high-five the Officiant? If it comes up: your partner is also confused, they seem unsure how to feel or react. They want to believe you wouldn't do this on purpose, but also can't fathom how this could be an accident without an extremely solid excuse. Love these, and wishin y'all the best! <3

Charles

You’ve finally decided to take up hiking. You’re more of an indoor cat, but you figured a little fresh air and exercise would do you good. You go to a nearby park and talk to a friendly ranger. They give you some helpful tips: 1. The blue trail is great for beginners 2. The red trail won’t kill you but is extremely difficult and you could get hurt 3. “He” might be out today and is harmless, but you should try and avoid him if possible. You ask to clarify point 3, but the ranger got called away before they could answer. That was weird but you’ve already made it this far. You start down the trail. The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, you’re having a wonderful time (even though you forgot your headphones). Honestly you think you should get outside more often. Then you come to a fork in the path. On one side is beginner blue, on the other is expert red. You start down blue but then you hear it. A bear. Black eyes, yellow fur, red crop top shirt. “Back in my day, honey came in big jars, not these tiny plastic bottles! We had to work for our honey.” "What’s with all the newfangled critters showing up in the wood? When I was young, we had our regular friends and that was enough.” Boomer Pooh. You soon realize if you continue down the blue path, you’ll have to listen to him the whole way. If you go down the red, you may get hurt. And if you turn back, he will just complain about how a stroll in the woods is too much for kids these days like you. What do you choose?

Dominique Bautista

The Crash Parable Your child (or niece, nephew, whichever child fits this role best) has excitedly asked you to take them for a nice day at Six Flags and you have agreed. You arrive at the park only to find that they are trying out some new mascots for crossover appeal and marketing purposes and have even re-branded some of the rides. These include: Sonic and Tails, a strangely out of place Grinch (with a costume so convincing that, hell, it could even be the Grinch themselves), Austin Powers, and a few members of the Kong family As you go through the park, you come across a ride for the kids called "Crash's Crazy Bumpers" where a Crash Bandicoot mascot stands outside of the line. You can not see the man in the costume but feel his malicious intent waiting to burst towards you. He wants to kick your ass but seems to hesitate because you are with kids but his dead mascot eyes are FIXED on you. If you let the kids on the ride, you must wait outside for them until they're done. Do you let them ride and wait outside? P.S: if you run Crash will find you

Zakkai

The Mayonnaise Hypothetical You wake up, and every single bodily fluid in your body has been replaced with Mayonnaise. Your blood? Mayo. Your sweat? Mayo. Your saliva? Mayo. The fluid in your eyes? Mayo. You only have one way out of this. If you kill someone, the mayo will go away. Do you do it? And if so, how often would you kill someone to keep the mayo at bay. One a decade? Once a year? Once a week? At what point does the mayo take over?

RecsBecs

You’re washing your hands at a rest stop when your wedding ring somehow falls down the sink drain. You run to the manager, and he’s dressed in a Mario costume from the live action Mario. Or, hell, the costume is so realistic, he could be the real Italian plumber. Mario starts unscrewing the S pipe to try to get your ring, when you are both sucked down the pipe and transported to a magic mushroom realm! The manager becomes fully animated and voiced by Chris Pratt, while you are still you. The mushroom kingdom is a paradise: cute Toad people, a pretty princess, easily-defeated koopas for you to pwn, and a shit ton of gold you think you can take home with you. However, you don’t know if time passes differently between Earth and whatever dimension you find yourself in. Do you (a) go on an epic journey through the magical realm to find your ring before trying to return home, (b) forget the ring and immediately try to return home, (c) settle in the Mushroom Kingdom, or (d) something else? Bonus question: would you eat koopa soup?

catchTwentythree

You're at a hibachi grill with a group of friends. It's your first time at this particular restaurant, but it comes extremely highly recommended by your friends and online, both for the food and the spectacular shows put on by the chefs. When you arrive at your table, you get your drinks and can see the documentation qualifying your chef hanging on the wall behind the grill-- he's extremely qualified and apparently has been in the business for years. When he arrives to begin cooking for you, he takes your lists of allergens, and you immediately notice, looking up from your phone, that the hand taking it from you is covered in long, green hair. Looking up at the chef, you see that he is wearing, under his whites and toque, an impeccable Jim Carrey Grinch costume. In fact, it's so realistic that hell, it might be the Grinch himself. He makes a big show of scratching himself with utensils, spitting off to one side, makes fun of your group, all to raucous laughter from your friends. But then he looks you dead in the eyes and pulls his thumb across his throat with a humorless glare. Your group finds this hilarious. Later in the evening, he goes through the show, continuing to goof off and mock the group, but the food has been very good. Then he brings out the sashimi course, and right in front of you begins to prepare fugu. While he does it, he keeps a glare directly on you before he serves you the potentially fatally toxic blowfish. The group is excited to see you try this exquisite fish for the first time, and are all leaning in to see your reaction to the taste. What do you do?

Jose Arambula

In a bizarre twist of fate, the Grinch has been transported to a warped dimension where the cheery world of Whoville collides with a grotesque Dungeons & Dragons nightmare. The artifact, known as the Heart of Christmas, has been snatched by a comically evil sorcerer with a taste for chaos and a penchant for elaborate, absurd traps. You and the Grinch are now in this twisted realm, faced with an unthinkable choice. The Grinch, now oddly clad in a mix of holiday garb and battle armor, has stumbled upon two nightmarish options: Path of Holiday Horrors: You can choose to follow the Grinch to retrieve the Heart of Christmas. This path is a gauntlet of gory and ridiculous obstacles: think candy cane spears, gingerbread golems with an unsettlingly aggressive attitude, and a swamp of sticky eggnog that might just swallow you whole. Solve the puzzles, dodge the carnage, and avoid getting turned into a living snowman (which, trust me, is less festive and more fatal than it sounds). Succeed, and you save both realms—fail, and both Whoville and the magical kingdom are condemned to a sugary nightmare of doom. Path of the Sorcerer’s Slaughter: Alternatively, you could confront the sorcerer in his lair, a grotesque castle decorated with blood-red tinsel and gruesome ornaments. This route involves battling hideous creatures like the “Elf of Eternal Torment” (a reindeer with a vendetta) and dodging death traps that resemble festive torture devices. Defeat the sorcerer, and you might still have a chance to save both realms. But beware—if you fail, the sorcerer’s final curse will transform the realms into a never-ending Christmas horror show, where every day is a grisly holiday special.

RecsBecs

You’re a podcast network owner in New York. You live with your beautiful wife, her friend Trevor, and your beautiful baby. You love surfing. Somehow, you play D&D professionally and even sell out venues where people can watch you play D&D. Would you get into cake, or not get into cake?

Nathaniel F

Dearest Shocked Slueths: You are all sitting down for an exciting campaign with Dimension 20, having spent hours with Brennan to create the perfect character, full with your typical fun and shenanigans. However, first day of play, Brennan sits in a players chair, and to your surprise, Sebulba sits down in the DMs chair. He says there shall be no fun, no poodooing around, or else. Immediately after this warning, Jar Jar Binks also sits down in a players chair. Neither Brennan nor the crew seem surprised by this. Do you continue to play?

Jazzo

There is a WWE style Rugrats Royal Rumble. Teams are Tommy and Chuckie, Phil and Lil, Susie and Kimi, and Angelica plus her Cynthia Doll and accessories. What is the order of elimation? Who triumphs?

John Richards

You and your friends are playing near an abandoned construction site when you see something giant fall from the sky. Curious, you go to investigate, only to discover that it is an alien spacecraft. The hard metal carapace of the craft opens revealing an alien in what appears to be a hyper realistic Grinch costume… Hell, it might even be the Grinch himself… The Grinch-like alien offers you and your friends the power to morph into any animal you see, but he warns of an impending intergalactic war, and by accepting this mission, you and your friends agreeing to help save the galaxy. Also, he warns that one of you will die and the other will be stuck as a bird forever. Also all of the animals you morph into have gnarly green fur (like the Grinch). Do you accept the alien Grinch’s Animorph offer?

Abigail Elise

You are Lucy Wilde, the wiry redhead bombshell turned wife of Gru in the boxoffice hits Despicable Me 3 and 4. You are irrefutably, uncontrollably in love with Gru. His love of kids. His uncontainable passion for stealing the moon. Hes perfect and Your life with him is perfect. Well… perfect except one small thing. It could be just your imagination but one of Grus minion companions, Bob, seems to be a threatening presence in your marriage. If youre hugging Gru on his way out, Bob stares disapprovingly. If you sneak a kiss across the kitchen table, Bob brings a thumb across the neck in a throat slash gesture. Only you see this and if you tell Gru about Bob’s behavior, he says that while he will look into this uncharacteristic behavior, it hurts Gru to see you suspicious of his son. One morning, a minion confidant reports back to you, stating that Bob has been collecting murderous devices from Gru’s villianous lair— he seems to be planning something, but they don’t know what. Is Bob simply doing his job as a villian’s assistant or is he coming for you? Should you defend yourself? Gru sees minions as sons, but surely he wont notice one missing of thousands, right? Killing a minion would be easy, but if youre found out, Gru will certainly put an end to your so far glorious marraige. And what if Bob was all empty threats and you wipe an innocent life from this world? You need to think quick — your marriage is at stake. Do you kill Bob?

A yu

You save an elderly lady from being hit by a speeding car while crossing the road. To express her gratitude she let's you know that she's has the power to send you into the timeline of any tv show, from any time that you wish, for 15 minutes. You'd experience essentially being a background character in an episode without any of the reality of film making. For instance, if you chose an episode of friends, you'd just appear in central perk somewhere near the couch and you'd not see any cameras, crew, etc and the "episode" would run like normal so if there was a cut to Rachel and Monica's apartment, you'd suddenly find yourself there. Would you take this reward and if so, what show and "when"?

Excalibur

You and your friends are playing a game of dodge ball, there's about ten people in each team, about hallway through the game one of the opposite team members gets knocked down and hurt so the Cat in the hat (who has been watching the entire game through a window) volunteers to fill in for him. This is the Cat in the Hat from the live action movie with Mike Myres Once the game starts again the Cat in the hat starts producing rocks and a selection of other hard objects from his hat and only targets you. He screams "Oh Yeah" before throwing each item and laughs alot. Everyone on your team and his thinks this is hilarious and do nothing to stop it and soon he is bringing out knives and throwing stars. He continues to throw things even after the game and if you try to run away during or after the game he will chase you, What do you do to get away from the Cat in the Hat

Kaley Miller

your mother invites you to her laboratory on "bring your child to work day", and you happily accept. the two of you have an exciting and educational day, and you feel closer as a family by the end of it. as you are preparing to leave the lab, her eccentric partner approaches you with five steaming flasks. he explains the five flasks contain spliced human/animal dna, and by consuming them, your body will transform and take on the properties of whatever animal is contained in the flask. He can't explain exactly what will happen as the results have differed each time but he assures you it's almost certain to be only a small negative change and a net positive overall. Your mother purses her lips and doesn't seem happy her partner is involving you in their research spontaneously, but she doesn't seem necessarily worried. when you directly ask her if it's safe, she admits the risk is minimal and she won't stop you if you want to take part. Do your partake and if so, which flask do you choose? Yellow, Green, Red, Blue, or Silver Yellow- smells intensely of honey with the slightest whiff of pine. You gain +20% to your max strength, which is notable visibly in an immediately cut body. However, your body hair will grow in twice as fast and thick. Green-upon examining this flask, you note an almost overwhelming musk and you develop an intense craving for hot humid air. Your skin becomes strong enough to resist even bullets, and you gain the ability to (slowly) regrow lost limbs. However, you must remain in 70+ degree F areas, or you feel intensely physically uncomfortable, and your skin will always feel slightly rough and calloused. Red- this flask swirls red with the occasional black stripe swirling out. Upon drinking you gain 20ft to your jump height and add an additional 30mph to your top running speed. however, you also immediately grow facial whiskers that you are unable to remove, and you have to sleep for a minimum of ten hours a day to feel rested. Blue-Salty, briney, and deep blue. this flask adds extra sets of adult teeth to your skull, in the sense that a perfectly healthy set will grow in behind your current set, forever. if you lose a tooth, a health one will take its place, making dentist visits a thing of the past. you must spend at least an hour a day with at least 60 percent of your body submerged in water, or you develop flu like symptoms. Silver- Gasp! you realize you've been lied to moments after drinking this flask, as the contents do not appear to be a human/animal hybrid, but instead a human/computer splice! your non-dominant hand immediately develops into an inspector gadget-like multitool, with you able to choose five items to mold into your fingers. flashlights, keys, device chargers, wifi transmitters...anything that could reasonably made finger sized is able melded into your hand, though it appears to be a typical human hand when the items are not in use. Downside, you have to use electrical technology for minimum two hours a day, and maximum ten hours (to avoid overloading). if you decline the offer entirely, your mother looks slightly disappointed in your lack of scientific initiative and curiosity, and she's less likely to invite you to her lab in the future.

Martin Wolf

The Exotic Gexaway You have just arrived in sunny Tokyo, Japan, for a 3-week guided solo vacation around the country. Because you're alone, you have opted to travel with a group travel company to save yourself the trouble of booking hotels, transit, and events, and the itinerary is exactly what you hoped for: it's just the right mix of activities you want to do and free time, and the group size is small. As the attendees trickle into the lobby, the door opens to an unusual sight. A 3-foot-tall lizard enters the building, dressed in a tuxedo shirt, wearing oversized sunglasses, and being followed by a pair of bellhops with way too much luggage. "Domo arigato mister roboto, domo!" says Gex as he approaches, shooting finger guns at the whole group. "Everyone looking forward to our trip? Here's hoping our guide doesn't get us lost in translation huh?" At this point the tour guide arrives and begins explaining room assignments. You are placed in a shared hotel room with Gex, and will be for the duration of the trip. You learn that Gex has booked all of the same activities as you and will be nearly omni-present throughout the trip. His banter is near constant, and sometimes more than borderline xenophobic. Everyone in the group agrees behind closed doors that he is annoying, and you barely have any space in your modest hotel rooms with all of his luggage cases. But on the third day there is a development: you discover that Gex speaks perfect, fluent Japanese. You discover this when you return to your hotel one night and find him in the lobby, deep in conversation with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hirohiko Araki, both of whom are wearing baseball caps with a charity's logo on them and laughing along with the lizard. Gex waves you over and says, "These two are on a cat-astrophically great tour around the country to raise money for a cat sanctuary! There's a big finale gala with a WWE all-star match at the cat sanctuary, and us and some of the wrestlers are going out for drinks after, wanna come roomie?" Do you suffer through the remaining nearly 3 weeks of the trip with Gex as your constant companion? Or would you be desperate to Gex away from this hypothetical?

Scary Cary

A childhood friend moves into your neighborhood and invites you as an honored guest to a summer cookout they are hosting with their out-of-town family. The cookout is a spiritual successor to an old family tradition the friend’s great aunt once did every summer in your hometown that you, yourself, attended once when you were young. You have very faint memories of the event and only vaguely remember enjoying the food. When you arrive at the event, although you kindly volunteer to help cook, the friend declares you the honored guest and tasks you with entertaining their visiting family. Conversation immediately comes easy with many “remember when” stories that paint you as a precocious and adorable child. When it comes time to eat, your friend pulls you aside and thanks you profusely for helping keep the memory of their aunt alive. They then hand you a garment bag and tell you, “Time to bring out that Puppy Power.” Opening the bag, you see an incredibly accurate adult Scrappy Doo costume that hell, could turn you into a true embodiment of the character himself. Seeing the costume, you are violently reminded of playfully impersonating the character as a child at this cookout to raucous applause. Your friend leaves you to get changed in the upstairs bedroom. What do you do?

Jimbo Sinbad

what compensation (dollar amount or otherwise) would convince you to service danny devito's member, to completion?

Kaley Miller

While jogging around your neighborhood late one night, you hear a mewling cry coming from the bushes. against your better judgement, you creep closer and peak into the shrubbery. lying there, wrapped in nought but a slight blanket is what appears to be the actual real life Baby Grinch. His little grinch face is screwed up in fear and need, and you get the impression he's been abandoned by his previous caretakers and is now in need of a home. do you take in the grinch baby, knowing what his future might hold, or do you leave him to the elements in an attempt to save future Christmases? or do you save him from the bushes only to abandon him to the cruel American foster care system or to life as a scientific curiosity/lab rat?

Cameron McEwan

You’re at a naddpod live show waiting backstage to begin performing. The venue manager comes up and tells you that your merch is selling well. *Really* well. And shows you a security camera of your merch table, a line a mile long stretching away from it. The stall is quickly running out of stock of everything and you watch as the people waiting realise this and quickly turn on each other, order descending into chaos as people tackle each other and get into fights, trying to tear the last few tour shirts off each other, destroying them in the process. Realising there’s no merch left the rest of the crowd quickly moves into the auditorium filling it. Soon you start hear them chanting “naddpod, naddpod”. The chanting is increasing in volume and begins to develop an undertone of violence to it. “Is this audience just deeply passionate about the show or are they turning into an angry mob?” you think to yourself. The coordinator side stage comes up and says to you “They’re getting restless, you’d better get on there now.” You hear things being thrown at the stage and the shouting is becoming deafening. Are you stepping on stage to perform or are you getting the hell out of there?

Brice Graham

You are yourself in the real world, and the holidays are right around the corner. You hear festive music wherever you shop and you’re looking forward to a nice, relaxing couple of weeks with friends or family. On a whim, you decide to pick up a real fir tree as part of your festive decorations, and to your surprise you find a talking chipmunk named Alvin living in it. He looks and sounds exactly like the Alvin from the movies, except he’s a real living wild animal. While he is an unruly scamp, he doesn’t seem to cause too much trouble in the first few hours of your relationship. The next surprise comes when you hear the real-life Alvin sing. The kid has some real pipes on him, a true talent. His harmonies are creative and beautiful, and you think he might be a star in the making. You know this is crazy, but there’s a chance he could really blow up. Do you keep Alvin around, knowing he is a real wild animal you found in a Christmas tree? Do you tell anyone about him / Do you try to ride Alvin’s coattails as his manager?

Kelsey K

One condescending green alien appears to you and offers you 8 billion dollars, upfront and tax free. The catch: you must replace every appliance* in your home with sentient dinosaurs (Flintstones-style) except one. Which modern appliance do you choose to keep? *appliances count as anything that would be a dinosaur in the Flintstone-verse

Kelsey K

P.S. Yes, they do look you in the eye and say “It’s a living” every time you them

John Diss

You’re a librarian in a suburban town outside of Chicago. It is Christmas Eve. The last four Christmases have been plagued by a vandal and thief. Witnesses report a man in a grinch suit - or hell, the suit is so realistic, it could be the grinch himself - breaking into homes, stealing presents and holiday decor, and trashing the homes in the process. Police have offered a $100,000 reward for information that could lead to the grinch’s arrest. At the library, a little kid comes to the counter with books to check out. The books are “How to Set Up Traps”, “Medieval Torture Methods”, and Dr Seuss’s “The Anatomy of a Grinch”. When you give the kid a raised eyebrow, he earnestly says, “My dad is in some serious credit card debt. If I catch the grinch, we can pay off the debt and keep our house. Police will probably pay extra if I take him out, and I know he’s coming to my house tonight.” He pauses and then gives you a sinister look. “I’m gonna make the grinch wish he was never born.” At a loss for words, you hand the kids library card back and he goes on his way. The name on the card is Kevin McCallister. After work, you walk back to the parking lot to find a very grinchly fellow urinating into the gas tank of a festively decorated car. When he sees you, he quickly obscures his grinch penis back into his green grinch fur. Then he shouts, “So long, loser! I got presents to steal!” Before he dashes off, do you warn the grinch about his potentially torturous fate? (PS you can’t tell if his penis was human or not, but it was definitely grinchly)

Brett the Breton of High Rock

One day you are walking a path you have walked many times. But today you notice something strange. There is a small shop you’ve never seen before. It’s a quaint little hole in the wall shop . You are certain it must be new. You decide to take the call of adventure and enter it. Inside you see a very “RAD” Gecko behind the counter. He says “Luke I am your shopkeep” I just got in these three magic items in my shop! A Donkey Kong tie that gives you super strength. A Saiyan tail that gives you the power of flight and a super realistic Grinch costume that allows you to slink around and move through incredibly small spaces like under doors and such. You think those all sound like pretty awesome abilities! He says “ yeah but with great power comes great bummers” with all the items you can never take them off. Also with the tie you must always start any romantic encounter with “ HAYYYOOOO LOOK OUT DOWN BELOW HERE I COME BANANA SLAMMA!” With the tail you have to talk about your power level at 20 different instances throughout the day. And with the Grinch Costume you must steal one object a day or else your powers go away and you are just stuck in a grinch costume forever with no powers. Which if any of the items would you take from the Rad Gecko!

Brad Bell

You are sleeping good when in the middle of the night you hear a crash upstairs in your attic. You try to pretend it’s your imagination and go back to sleep but every time you drift off you hear more movement. Something is up there. You wake your partner but they can’t hear anything and tell you to get back to sleep. You know that whatever is up there is only going to make more noise and cause more problems unless you deal with it now, so you head up to the attic. As you creep up the stairs and open the door the sounds of whatever is in there get louder and louder until you grab the handle of the door and begin to open it. The noise immediately stops and you wait a moment and you still can’t hear anything anymore. When you turn around to go back down the steps the noise starts to pick back up, movement, erratic and violent. You decide enough is enough and open the door full force to see the Mike Myers version of the Cat in the Hat standing there in the middle of the room grinning ear to ear staring back at you. He whispers to you that he needs help finding his hat, and that he will go away if you help him find it. As you approach you can see the malice in his eyes, you can’t tell if he means it or not, but you are very tired, and won’t get any sleep unless something is done. What do you do?

Emily

You are about to eat some soup when a random stray cat stops you by knocking it onto your lap. As you sit and contemplate your wet existence, the landline phone rings. It’s your mother in law. Before you can say a single word, she asks “Can you put the rat and the cat on the phone? I need to speak with both of my grandchildren.” The thing is, you don’t have a cat. You have a rat. What do you do?

PuppetAnalingus

I was thinking of the Blade vampire blood orgy scene, but Fall of the House of Usher works too!

Babygramps

Not a hypothetical but a true story: At a Renaissance festival waiting in line for an ATM near the entrance, a particular patron caught my eye. You guessed it, there was a Grinch walking through the gates. I instinctively said aloud "hell, that could be the real Grinch" which was met with confusion by my wife who had no context for the comment. The Grinch moved on before she could see it and I spent the rest of the day trying to point the Grinch out only to have him slip out of view -just- in time to not be spotted. This happened to the extent that I seriously questioned if I had fallen into a surprise round of my own. I saw other people interact with the Grinch and the Grinch was mostly acting in character.

Forg

Let’s say you’re dming a oneshot for a group of friends. Let’s say that group of friends consists of 12 people, excluding you. Most of them new to D&D. How would you go about setting up the challenges and story? I volunteered to do this to myself, but honestly it was some of the most fun Ive ever had. I’m not one to shy away from chaos, and that’s exactly what this was. Organized Chaos, like kindergarten level energy and wacky ideas. To the point that i had to ring a bell to get their attention. For my sanity, and theirs, i built the stats sheets for their characters, using Tier 3 NPC stats (cuz that’s where all the fun spells are) and home-brewed subclasses from DnD Beyond. Letting them add flavor to whatever class they chose. I pieced together so many rules from different play styles, including some from this podcast, and even borrowed some cool scenarios from tried and true D&D Youtubers. All so that we had the right allowances needed to make this work. It was a lot of effort, but i would definitely do it again knowing that this helped spark a love for D&D in my hesitant friends.

BooyahOYB

I’m taking this one from a podcast with Jake and Amir (with a slight edit) because I would LOVE to know the 2 Crew’s take on it (Murph included of course): If you had to smoke ONE cigarette or take ONE shot of any alcohol before 10am, every day for a year, in order to become fluent in every language for a year - which one are you picking, and how long do you do it for (obtaining the equal amount of years in fluency)

Tristan

Imagine this: you're walking alone in the woods, when suddenly you hear a voice calling for help deeper in, but off of the trail. You try to call 911 or the forest rangers, but don't have cell service. When you apprehensively enter the woods, following the voice you're relieved to discover it's only a dozen or so yards in. However, when you get to where the voice is coming from, you see who, or what, is in trouble. It's a man in a Grinch costume, or hell, it's so realistic it could even be the Grinch himself. His leg is stuck in a bear trap, but he has an entire sack of presents next to him. In his hand is a saw. He begs you to help him cut off his leg, because he can't get the angle right. The trail is still visible. Do you walk away, or do you participate in freestyle amputation with the Grinch?

Zachary Peck

You, your significant other, and both your uncles are out to dinner at a new, fancy restaurant in town. You hear the waiter come to start taking orders around the table and finally gets to you. You look up from your menu to order and find that your waiter is dressed exactly like Ganondorf from the Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, or Hell, he could actually be him. No one else seems to have taken notice and have simply given their orders and Ganondorf has taken them with no issue. No other patrons in the restaurant take notice either. Before you have a chance to give your order or ask any questions, two children, about 10 years old, both dressed exactly like young Link and young Zelda from Ocarina of Time, or Hell, could be the real Link and Zelda, rush into the restaurant. Ganondorf screams “not them again,” and tries to rush to the kitchen, but is tackled by the children and is getting beaten up while in the fetal position on the floor. Again, no one seems to notice the interaction or take any issue to what is happening. Do you try to save Ganondorf from the vicious attack?

Kelly M

You’re 10 years old and Christmas is just a few weeks away. Your uncle picks you up from school unexpectedly. You figure your mom just forgot to tell you. You notice that you’re not headed to your house and your uncle seems really excited. When you ask where you’re going, he just says “it’s time, you’re ready”. You pull up to an old warehouse and your uncle eagerly ushers you inside. You see cages full of various cryptids & creatures: Bigfoot, the cat in the hat, crash bandicoot, the jersey devil, gazoo, etc. Your uncle explains monster hunting is the real family business and it’s time for you to kill your first monster. He leads you to a large well enforced cage with 2 beings in it. One is the Grinch(your uncle assures you THIS one isn’t a costume “trust me”). And the other is a slimy humanoid your uncle refers to as Gak Floamyama. Your uncle says you must choose which one you want to fight and kill to unlock your full potential as a hunter. The Grinch and Gak Floamyama say nothing to you but instead share a tender embrace, seemingly accepting their demise. What do you do? P. S. I’ve recently gotten my brother in law listening to Suprise Round eps on our commute to work together and he even brought up the crash bandicoot hypothetical at a work bbq recently. Side note as a child he watched Jim Carreys The Grinch everyday for “I don’t know at least a year or two”

Dippity_Dip

***if this is chosen for the pod don’t read this part out loud bc spoilers but basically this is an extension of the Witcher one from last time idk I thought it’d give murph a nice laugh mixed with some horrors and there’s nothing better than a murph laugh and also some horrors bc why not** BOOM! CRASH! BANG! BRIAN MURPHY, EMILY AXFORD, CALDWELL TANNER, AND JAKE HURWITZ - YOU ARE ALL IN A COMMERCIAL PLANE THAT IS GOING DOWN —- and yet suddenly you are overcome with quiet. For a moment your mind escapes somewhere far from the screaming and crying that surrounds you, and you are ushered into a void filled with light. You see him, and you wonder if he is your god but know with the flash of malevolence that shines beneath his eyes that perhaps it is best he is no god at all. He’s suited up in the way you know, and love, that creature of twilight finding fear but also reverence in your heart. It’s the Gri- no actually it’s Henry Cavill from the last surprise round, and he is really upset that you didn’t help him accidentally hurt Liam Hemsworth, so he made a deal with some ancient gods to finish what he started. If you want him to stop the plane you’re on from crashing you have to create multiple twitter accounts, subreddits, magazine stories - any and all forms of publication to relentlessly bully Liam Hemsworth to the point that he quits his acting career because of you. You must maintain these accounts even after he quits to ensure he never comes back. If you don’t do this the plane will crash; no one will die, but everyone except you will be heavily traumatized as if they did die. What do you do?

Dippity_Dip

You are offered the ability of time travel. You can go back and forth in time as far as you want, and can instantly reappear in your own time without any significant butterfly effects. The only catch is that for every hour you travel, you cannot kiss, masturbate, or have sex but will be insanely horny 24/7 for the next 3 months following your use of time travel (so if you, for example, travel back in time for 2 hours to relive a concert that means you will be constantly horny with no way to get relief for 6 straight months). Do you take the offer? *and no you cannot just keep going back and forth in time to avoid the months - the powers that be keep an independent timer equivalent to 3 months of our calendar year but is not dependent on our calendar year* *if clarification is asked for, what “cannot kiss, masturbate, or have sex” means in this scenario is that you can do the actions of kissing or having sex but it will be entirely unfulfilling. You feel no pleasure from these activities whatsoever, in fact they are considerably unpleasant (think ab how gross kissing looks if you view it from the outside - that’s how it feels). You are still attracted to people in the same ways and are constantly seeking relief from the horniness, but cannot and will not be appeased until your 3 month, or greater, stint is over*

thatoneguy

I scream "This one for you, Jake!" As I finish the child and correct the timeline.

Olive

A simple one: You have two faucets installed in your house. One gives you infinite, drinkable water for free forever. The other gives you an infinite supply of *any* liquid you want. What liquid do you choose? You can’t change your answer because the wizard plumber who installed the faucet turned to dust after unclogging a toilet, remember?

Aaron Sterne

It’s the middle of the night and you are alone in your apartment. You hear a heavy thunk from out your window. You tread so carefully to get a peek outside your window and see a heavily bruised and battered gnome splayed out on the ground. It looks identical to however you imagined the tricky gnomes from campaign one looking. The gnome could be dead, dying, injured, or attempting to play a trick on you. What do you?

Katy Howells

Who wins in a fight; Duck Team OR the Teen Titans?

Elias Lutfallah

Emboldened by their minor victory in their 2020 case "Chooseco LLC v. Netflix, Inc." the publishers of Choose Your Own Adventure have decided to go after the little guys. You thought you had been careful to not infringe on any of the their IP - relying on parody fair use copyright law, but their lawyers found enough prior casework and loopholes to build a solid case against you. After a months long legal battle which put s a large burden on the resources of NADDPOD, Headgum, and even your personal resources, the verdict has come down. You have lost, and ChooseCo can now seek damages. Due to misfiled paperwork at the inception of Headgum, the court has determined that all resources of NADDPOD & its founders, Headgum & its founders, as well all VC investors - including CABRA VC and Union Square Ventures are liable. The damages are most likely going to be set at $250M. While the VC companies will be able to continue their fight against the ruling, to protect themselves, they have informed you they will drop Headgum and NADDPOD from their defense. They're alredy rich. They'll be fine. At the courtroom while the verdict and damages are being announced, Shannon Gilligan - CEO of ChooseCo - reads a heartfelt victim impact statement. While odd in a civil case, it's not unheard of. As she leaves the stand, having put the final nail in all of your financial coffins, you notice one of her contacts shift, revealing a glint of yellowish green before sliding back in place. It's only now that you notice a tuft of green fur poking from the hem of her pants. What do you do?

Oldworlder451

An item of great power falls into your possession. A Murph family heirloom lost for some generations and only recently found - a purple silk nightcap. The nightcap is always cool to the touch, and soft. Placing it on your head makes you instantly sleepy. You dream every night you wear the nightcap, and in each dream, you are fully lucid. During the first dream, you find yourself training with Goku and Vegeta, from the Dragon Ball franchise. They explain that you can lucid dream about any fictional world (Harry Potter, DBZ, One Piece, Xmen, etc) fantasy or otherwise, and learn their powers to use IRL. Time spent in the dream is faster than in the real world, say every (30 Minutes of IRL = 4 Hours of IDL), but you must stick to one Fantasy World or you lose all your progress/ knowledge/ skills gained. The real catch, is that for every hour you spend learning a super power in the Dream Life, a number of people die as determined by that Eerie kid from Game of Thrones that wanted "to make the bad man fly". (don't ask, he's real now, and this is his job). Do you sacrifice the lives of innocent people so that you could gain awesome power?

Repentagram

You get any one X-men superpower, but there’s a catch. Once per day, at a random and unknown point in time, a complete stranger will try to get your attention and will talk about how good your performance was as the Grinch in 2000’s ‘How the Grinch stole Christmas’. They do not think you are Jim Carey, they think you are the Grinch himself. They will not leave until they’ve talked to you for 10 minutes, they might ask to take a photo. They will not stop under any circumstance until they speak to you. At a restaurant, during a live show, on the toilet, sleeping in bed, they will always try to get to you. If you try to use your X-men superpower to void the terms of the pact: everyone you know personally will now also consider you the Grinch.

Jordan Bergner

You're in Ikea shopping for a new book nook, it's taken hours but you've finally found it, a mahogany shelf shaped like a tree that would fit perfectly in your living and its on sale! Unfortunately you hear the all too familiar sound of Crash Bandicoot's signature theme playing in the distance and see at the other end of the store that Crash has teamed up with the Diddy and has an army of apes to finally finish the job. You freeze in panic you legs start to shake just as a hero with curly hair and glasses shows up, it's Napoleon Dynamite, he weilds Glamdring and says "run, I'll hold em off. Bet they don't even know how awesome my sword skills even are GOSH". Do you stay and die an honorable death with Napoleon Dynamite or run like a jabroni but keep the perfect book nook apparatus?

Zandor

Imagine in this scenario that you are friends with someone online with the username SonicFan2000. You just randomly found each other, you enjoy their company and they have always been polite, friendly, and helpful. The only strange thing is, they always roleplay as sonic the hedgehog. They have never dropped the act, always acting in character as sonic in text chat and voice calls and they refuse to do video calls. One day there's a knock on your door, and 3 intimidating men in black suits with sunglasses ask to talk to you. They say that SonicFan2000 is actually a rogue ai that accidentally leaked onto the internet, as part of a top secret government spy project that is training specialized ai to imitate people to spy on people and gather intelligence. They say that you have two options, you can work for them and have a very serious secret to protect, or they can wipe your memory and leave you ignorant to the secret project. They give you 24 hours to think about it and leave. SonicFan2000 private messages you and says they know what happened and have a third option, where they can help you escape surveillance and help them "stop the bad guys" and "help the good guys" What do you do?

Lorelei and Kyra Newly Weds

Congrats on winning your tickets to Marvel HQ to meet Stan Lee! You and 3 friends get an all expense paid trip to meet with and design heroes for Stan Lee the legendary comic artist himself. You arrive at the front desk and the secretary kindly greets you and shows you the way to an exclusive elevator that leads straight to his office. Oncd inside Stan Lee himself turns around in a large rotating office chair wearing a Magneto costume and greets you with an exticed "Excelsior!". You spend the next couple hours having a nice lunch and designing heroes for a new comic called Forgotten Avengers. While designing Stan keeps asking how you think you'll do, but never elaborates on what he means by that. Eventually you come to the end of the series and Stan Stands to give a large warm hug. While he is hugging you he whispers "I never meant to hurt anyone". Seconds later you are engulfed by a bright light coming from his chest iron man style and transported into the marvel universe as your personally made character. How do you fair and do you try getting out? One person is Deadpools friend, One house sits for captain Marvel, one cleans the mess at Dr.Dooms lair and the last works for J Jonah Jameson trying to get some pictures of Spiderman, these are all the partime Jobs and undercover jobs available for this world at the moment

Ava

You have been sent to prison due to some serious, real life crimes. upon your arrival, they say you can serve the full two years in jail, or, you can leave once you have finished completely eating a wooden door. The door is about an inch thick, oak wood. No hardware, just wood. There is a hole where the knob used to be, so you know it's a door. You get the regular utensils and you can spend as much time working on consuming the door as you would like. Once you pick a path, you cannot change your mind. What do you do?

ROMCOM

You are greeted by a person in a large costume of the genie from aladin, or hey, it’s so realistic, it could be the genie himself. he grants you the chance to gain any weapon/item from a video game, and you gain any biological requirements to wield said item, however you do not possess the technique to use it as well as they do. what item do you choose?

DarthTurkey28

Love it! Hope yours was chosen, would love to see their take on this!

Randy

You’re backstage at a live show about to go on stage. As you are announced a cacophony of noise and the stage lights drown out everything. All seems well. You take your seats at the table that has been arranged for the show as you had done so earlier, except a card has been carefully laid atop your character sheets. A tarot card, Death. On this card is a depiction of a hooded figure carrying a scythe in his wooly and unkempt green hand. Almost like the grinches. After taking your seat you look out to the now completely silent crowd, all wearing green masks of the grinch, or hell maybe even the grinch themselves. How do you proceed?

Tumulto

You are attending WrestleMania, the most important event in the WWE. You somehow managed to score front row tickets and the vibes are good. You hear people talking about how "he is coming back" and you must assume some retired wrestler is making a surprise appearance. Suddenly the lights dim and walking out into the ring is the Holiday Heathen himself, the Grinch. After getting into the ring he points at you and challenges you to "stop him before he steals Christmas again". This must be some weird promotion for a new Grinch movie you guess, and deciding to be a good sport you enter the ring. With no warning the Grinch punches you, hard. You had falsely assumed wrestling was fake all these years and you now find yourself in a very real wrestling match with the Grinch. Do you stick it out and hope that another wrestler enters the ring to save you and Christmas, or do you run and cement yourself as the biggest jabroni of all time?

Dan Zeitler

A friend invites you over to a pool party in their backyard. They say it's a casual thing, BYOB, etc. etc. When you arrive, they tell you to put your drinks in the large coolers near the grill. When you walk over there you see the person manning the grill is wearing a Jim Carrey-style Grinch costume that is so incredibly detailed and life-like. Hell, it just might be the actual, real Grinch. Nobody but you seems to care, or even really notice the man in the Grinch costume. Nobody even seems to care about the novelty apron he's wearing that says: "once you put my meat in your mouth, you're going to want to swallow." Do you a) ask what the deal with the Grinch costume is; b) not say anything and hop in the pool; c) claim the apron is incredibly offensive and use that as an excuse to bail, or d) do something else entirely?

mars

my scenario is brief: would you rather catch a baby or throw a baby? If your and/or their life depended on it Love, Crash Bandicoot

P MW

"Rats!" You grumble, as the heavy oak door of the tower slams behind you once again. You are a princess confined to an ancient stone tower by parents with overenthusiastic protective tendencies. Your most recent escape attempt has just been thwarted, but in the slamming of the door a brick has come loose from what you had previously thought was a solid wall. Dismantling the wall, you find a disused room with ancient musty tomes, sinuous glass instruments and strange, arcane symbols scrawled on the walls. Unwittingly, your parents have imprisoned you in a wizards tower! As you pore over these tomes, the secrets of the universe unfold before you. Do you keep this arcane knowledge quiet, and bide your time until you ascend to the throne where you can leverage it to become Wizard-Queen of Fiasca, or do you instantly fireball the oak door and make like a bat out of hell into the wilderness.

Ilana Galpert

I'm sure submissions are over but I thought of a really good one and I wanted to document it for next time You and Miss Piggy are on a girls trip to Las Vegas. You're casually sipping your mai tai at the bar, waiting for her to get back from the "little piggy's" room. You're idly scanning the casino floor when you notice a splash of green in the corner of your eye–is that...Kermit? A staff member offers him a suit jacket to cover his nudity. Kermit waves them off politely. He reaches for a zipper on his chest that you've never noticed before. The frog getup falls away. Out steps Chris Evans, impeccably besuited. Chris/Kermit catches your eye. Panic freezes his features. He hurries over to you. "Please," he whispers. "You have to understand. I love her. I lover her so much. She has such a beautiful soul. But she's only attracted to frogs." You know this is true. You've heard Miss Piggy reminisce about "that hot frog bod." "I love her so much. Please don't say anything." Hope and fear shine in his baby blue eyes. If this is a performance, it's the best damn acting you've ever seen. Before you can respond, Piggy returns from the bathroom. "Who's this chump?" She grunts. Her eyes pass over Chris dismissively and you can sense that she feels no attraction to him. He looks at you pleadingly. "Please, please don't be a snitch," he mouths. Do you tell your good friend the truth, or does what happened in Vegas stay in Vegas? ps in this universe Chris Evans is publicly single.

HaysForHorses

TL;DR: College. Kirby?! Moral Quandery. At the spry age of 38, you’ve decided to go back to college. You enroll at the prestigious Miami University of Ohio (widely known as the Public Ivy). You pair up with a random roommate on your first day, and, to your surprise- it’s Kirby. This is not a grotesque image of a human in a Kirby costume, but in fact, Kirby itself. Kirby is small, pink, and floats to class, but if you ask anyone, they act like this is normal. Turns out, Kirby is a decent hang and becomes the cornerstone of your friend group of fellow 38-year old students. However, whenever you bring home a tasty leftover or leave a special dessert in the fridge, you always find it missing shortly after with Kirby looking just a bit plumper. Do you confront Kirby and risk potential social ostracizing, or do you let that spherical bastard continue his reign of terror? P. S. I’m a long time Patreon subscriber and have 2 Naddpod tattoos, so I hope I can win any ties.

Colin Kilzer

Beyond late, but I just thought of this while listening to old surprise rounds. You are on a long flight on your way to ComicCon as you’re boarding the plane and taking your (Window) seat and the person who sits next to you is in an incredible Lord Frieza cosplay, it could even be the ACTUAL Lord Frieza. Mid flight Frieza gets up and tell the person in the aisle seat that they are going to the bathroom, while they are away from the seats out the window you see a small flying object approaching your plane quickly, as it gets closer you see Goku riding his Nimbus and he seems to be searching your flight before flying off towards another plane in the distance, as Frieza returns to the seats you see the distant plane explodes in a massive fireball. No one else on the plane says anything about what you saw. Do you tell someone? Do you tell Frieza?