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D&D Court: Enema Potions, Unfair PVP & The Item-Swiping Magpie (w/ Jasper William Cartwright) (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-11 00:10:05
Imported:
2026-06
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AD-FREE EPISODE FOR $5+ PATRONS!

Welcome to Dungeon Court! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner, Axford and Guest Justice Jasper William Cartwright (as well as the Highly, Highly, Highly, Highly, HIGHLY appreciated Bailiff Hurwitz) as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!

Subscribe to 3 Black Halflings on Patreon!

and get tickets to our upcoming shows at Naddpod.com/Live!

CREDITS:

Sound Mixing and Editing by Grace Harper ( IG: @chorlesborkley)

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

Files

Comments

Proopypants

A friend of mine works at Black Sheep, Manchester - never thought I'd hear a shout out to it on NADDPOD. Love it.

Rotem Cohen

Counter point and maybe another generous read on the pvp with the warlock and cleric, maybe the dm wanted to set up a situation where they work together and impress the orcs like talking in whispers during the fight and working together during the fight to look badass while doing it as friends and planning it together on the battlefield

xeladonnovan

"Enema of the state" Jake absolutely killed that haha

Gearbox

I think the Mom letter thing was just a bit of flavor that the player overreacted to. "You see your sister! She says, 'there you are! We thought you were dead! You haven't written once!'" and the player being like "nonono Iwould have written a hundred letters!"

A. Lee. S

Introducing my husband to Naddpod via dungeon court. The croissant talk made us go to the bakery and get croissants. :D

Daven Rikhof

I embarrassed myself fully cracking up on public transport abroad about loose rat

Jay S

I now imagine someone calling the cops about a loose rat aboard the NYC subway, only for said rat to pull out a valid ticket stub and the officer can't do anything about it

The No. 2 Show

Comedians In Cars With Mooses | The new reality show from Naddpod and Headgum

Bryce Peterson

Crumbs down the flume? Birds on the move.

Oscar the Salad Czar

Is Emily's airplane story a different one? I thought before she said the man watched boss baby 3 times not goodwill hunting.

Tori

this is four years later but i absolutely agree, it was bizarre to hear all the excuses like "maybe there was no info!" (there was, it was in the book) "maybe they were bad at improvising!" (all the info you'd need to convey would be in the book, right?) "maybe it would spoil the story!" (the NPC being there and thus anything they could tell you is part of the story!) just bonkers imo

g-unit0301

BRING BACK THE FULL INTRO YOU COWARDS

Tocayo

Good lord I would give my left kidney to see Brennan on one of these DnD court eps

Joseph Cruz

First D&D Court as a patron!

FusRohNahSon

Hey what the fuck the intro was cut short I was jammin

Anthony Abreu

Okay I haven't listened but does this mean we can expect jasper content because they batch recorded or nah

Noah Goodman

Will there be a video version for this one?

Jacob Revilla

I second the Brennan bump for a Supreme Crit Judge! Clean buttholes, bullies, and HELL IN A CELL!!!

jirltreon

I wonder if the useless items are actually FOR the magpie, since those birds are notorious for being “collectors.” maybe the dm and magpie have something in the works that is related back to their backstory or something? If so, it maybe time for the magpie/dm to drop some hints & lore for the rest of the party.

AnonymousDM

As the DM of the neglected mom case i do feel compelled to clarify (a) that his family is a big part of the backstory/story, (b) player wasn’t thaaat upset and got onboard, i just wanted a vibe check and (c) that i personally relished gettin cooked by this court

Gobstoppable Goose

Yay I love D&D Court!! Brennan would be a great judge :)

The Wizard Skoolie

I love when they get a bit that they stick with for the entire episode, like the croissants 😂

pief

Welcome to the club!!

pief

Hope you weren't waiting too long - apparently there's no video version for this one

Glue Wilson

as someone who works at a courthouse and a d&d nerd, thank you for somehow blending two of my most disparate interests into one amazing show

foster the boneless duck

i luckily saw the comment below after a few minutes! having a great time listening to it rn

jackalope503

god I desperately want either Jasper or Murph to run a wrestling one-shot

Dave 3D Art

Potion Enema Case Update: So yeah, I left the game without vocalizing that the potion enemas made me uncomfortable. I was not invested in playing with the DM enough to attempt to convince him to change for my benefit. I think fundamentally even without the enemas I wouldn't have vibed with him long-term. Judging by his choice of character voices he was running a Rick and Morty campaign on a pirate ship than anything I would want to play. Some of the houserules I begrudgingly accepted were: multiclassing being punished by substantially increased challenge rating, homebrewed hand-to-hand rules that ruined every martial class, most skills being limited to the point of uselessness or being explicitly disallowed (like no insight checks period) and a drastically small selection of race and subclasses that felt arbitrary and didn't even adhere to the established game setting. I tolerated them because I wanted to be a player for the first time in years instead of being a dungeon master. These rules were at least laid down when I signed up. The enemas just popped up out of nowhere. I should mention that this was an in store game that I paid money for. The store was kind enough to refund my fifty bucks for the campaign (it was supposed to be five sessions total). Which was good customer service at least. -Dave 3D Art.

Ganonbort

Way too hard on the descent into Avernus player, once an encounter is done with what's the problem with players seeing how the encounter could've gone. Also the dice roll is to determine degree of success, it's so shitty to to give absolutely nothing for a check that was definitely relevant to the game.

Abraham

I think the avernus DM was definitely in the wrong, they fully threw away a players nat 20

Canid Duality

Um, actually, although teams were together for the first two parts of the chunin exams, the culling and actual tournament were individual bouts. You could end up fighting a teammate. Also, it is the reason why Shikamaru was the solo person to be promoted to chunin that year.

Cameron Davis

The amount of pro wrestling in this episode pleases me. And that’s the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so.

Nova

You should all take a trip up to Monterey Bay to see the Aquarium, you can ABSOLUTELY touch the sting rays. They are kind of shy sometimes so if they let you it feels kind of magical (I think Emily would dig it especially!)

Calum

Imagining a super aesthetic cursive “live laugh love”-style poster just saying “in this household, potions are enemas”.

jawnster

Lol frigging Heather *<#"!

Robert

Well... pewp...

Wretched Pie

Omg the Magpie. We have a player that thinks it’s ok to steal from other players. Our DM handled it like a boss. He gave her a fortune cookie. When she opens it, the fortune wrapped around her finger and put a curse preventing her from stealing from friends. We love it.

Austin Gill

Those homebrew rules sound awful I'm sorry that you had to expierence that

IvyclericHayley

The Bully Subclass is ABSOLUTELY college of whispers - Extra Psychic damage when they hit - Intimidate you if speaking for 1 minute

Alex Weatherhead

As someone named Alex W who has submitted several cases that haven’t made the show this episode was devastating lol. Having them read “Alex W” then have a great goof where they say hi had me grinning like a fool before they read the case which was not in fact mine. Classic case of negative serendipity

Mac

Respect for leaving, I wish you could have told that DM off but I don't blame you for not wanting to interact with that person ever again. It's shit like this that steers me away from non-friend d&d, it's similar to soloqueueing league. you don't know if you're gonna get the devil's spawn of dm/players or if you get the godsquad

Matthew McDowell

Just found out if you google Jillian Vogels name, the first result is "...and Tucker"

Noah Jay

Disappointed that JWC didn't describe the silly outfit he donned after taking his oath, the way English courts require

Crits

It's even crazier that they went for that in a pay to play game! I would definitely be playing it safer in that scenario lol

Nathan Wilson

Only because if the rat would have told them everything, it could spoil the rest of the story/campaign, and maybe the DM had a plan to parcel out that information in different ways. Finishing the encounter isn't the whole campaign. After the campaign is over, it's fine to read the book.

Jordan Jenkins

Through the whole neglected mom case I feel like they're just throwing shade at the Zelda/Gorgug arc in season 2 of fantasy high lmao

Sara S.

Didn’t they rule exactly opposite to this once? I think it was a PC with a pirate background, and he nat 20 intimidated some children and got them run out of town? The supreme crit made some jokes about a nat 20 acrobatics check causing you to flip until you fell in a volcano…. Obviously looking at the book is still majorly bad form

Andy

My neglected mom thought is that they could pivot/compromise by saying the guy had been sending the letters but they had never arrived. Then there's a new mystery as to why??? Who's committing mail fraud?

K.C. Thompson

Mooses in Minivans getting Mochas

Jack Campau

I love that Em was too scared to out her HS bully

DemonLordSparda

If they had a different way to dole out info, why include the NPC and specifically change them to give no info. It's a big change that serves no purpose.

Lorelei and Kyra Newly Weds

My co worker at my first job asked if I had Cream Corned his drive way? Confused I asked what he meant and apparently a group of his friends has taken cans of creamed corn and coated the yard, car, driveway, and parts of the house while they were gone. I found this hilarious and wish I had seen it

Dustin A Colgate

I am shocked and appalled that I didn't hear it call The Crossain'watch

Alex W

i accept my punishment, as i have been meaning to visit my cousin at her lab! also i feel as though this is relevant, this is the same campaign as shrek the rogue, and i recently politically assassinated fiona

Sam

Can you imagine if they didn't beep this Heather bullies last name, the woman would receive so many angry but well written e-mails from the Nadpole army retro-actively defending Emily.

Miriam Emmrys

I want a T-shirt that says “quiet ride, loose rat” so badly

Marissa Clopton

In high school, instead of TPing someone’s house, we would “Apple Jacks” them, ie spread the contents of a box of Apple Jacks on someone’s driveway. Same effect was croissanting.

joel

Loose Rats Ride Quiet definitely sounds like a grim arthouse movie

Alexander Robinson-Gabel

If it’s small enough to fit in the trunk then I’d Uber a lightly crazy animal

Emily C

DMs aren't perfect machines who can remember everything and do everything right. A DM has every right to make a mistake or even intentionally withold info for any reason without expecting players to cheat. The player had no in character reason to know that NPC had info to spill, and the only reason they do know is because they cheated. Sometimes even a nat 20 can't give you something if the NPC has no info to give, and the PC should have accepted it and assumed as much. Automatically assuming your DM is withholding info for the sole purpose of ruining your fun rather than for an unknown story purpose or by mistake is rude way to treat the person who is taking hours of their own time each week to run the game your playing in.

Emily C

Thinking you need to cheat rather than just talking to the DM because you didn't get the result you wanted from a Nat 20 shows you think of your DM as the enemy and is a toxic way to play imo.

Joshua Willem

hate to be that guy... but as a nurse, there are distinct benefits to ingesting things rectally. when you ingest stuff through your butt, you bypass the liver and medication goes right into the blood stream. thats why some meds are suppositories. so, as a medical professional, i think that potion enemas should add an extra d4 to the desired effect of the potion.

Gearbox

I would argue that healing potions are magical, and do the best healing they can do regardless of how they're ingested.

Paxton

Was that a bleep

Paxton

I can’t imagine charging for this

Human Person

No more video episodes? Not gonna lie, that's what got me to become a paying subscriber.

Hershel

i think it might've been because they couldn't get jasper there in person but i'm not sure

Mae B

I bet they will still have them, but I believe Jasper lives in the UK so I'm thinking they recorded this one remotely and not in the studio as a result.

Josh the Alchemist

There's a difference between outing your bully and unintentionally doxxing someone. Most of the NADDpoles seem pretty alright, but all you need is one person that takes it too far and suddenly our favorite podcast is in the news because a crazy fan croissanted a random person

Sami

Unsurprisingly. I want the sign...

WitchKingofAngmar

I couldn’t imagine narrating that, in the heat of battle, my comrades falling all around me, looking at the enemy with dead shark eyes and inserting a healing potion into my butthole.

Houston Compton

once em got jake with the blink reference it was over, what's my age again is a perfect song though so who cares

Zoe Jones

Forget If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, look out for If You Give a Rat a Croissant!

Summer Tribe

any DM who calls for a roll and on the maximum outcome says it doesn't work is a goon. just don't call for the roll, it's that easy edit: I was wrong when I said this. you can't necessarily know off the bat all the bonuses your players can apply, furthermore there's reasons to use sliding scales of failure