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Hearthside Chats Part II: The Bert / Ernie Dichotomy (Patreon)

Published:
2023-04-28 23:00:02
Imported:
2026-06
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Grab another weenie, because the 2 Crew is STILL answering your questions! If you've ever wondered what our favorite breakfast foods are, OR which professional wrestler we'd be, then this is the hearthside for you! 

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Comments

Grass

Thank you!

David

First

Robert

Hi! Love your show but couldn’t help noticing that you haven’t done a lvl 1-20 Flintstones campaign yet? What gives?

Excelsidorks!

Talk about an entertaining Friday afternon! Y'all are too kind!

Dale Colburn

The only dnd podcast that hasn’t done a flintstones campaign

Gwen Gilpin

Well now I want Murphy to run the Worldwide Wrestling RPG!

YourAnimeDad

I only listen to mixed bags, who are these eldermourn characters?

Armadon the only

I have to enter here. I am very overweight so I can’t understand how anyone can wipe sitting down. I was taught to stand and have been doing it ever since. Please reply with just “sit” or “stand” because i am curious at how many people do either in a bunch

Liza

Both (just to be thorough)

Bonky Fiasco

My favorite thing about these episodes is when Murph gets so mad that his speech devolves into unintelligible screaming.

AmberDextrous!

The Bert/Ernie dichotomy, especially in relation to the 2 crew, makes so much sense to me because my husband and I had an in-depth conversation just last night about how if we ever met y'all, I would get along best with Murph and Jake because I'm a little more law and my husband would get along better with Emily and Caldwell because he's a being of pure chaos (literally nicknamed Mayhem).

Nico

The parsnip disrespect has me seething

m. white

ooh, exquisite corpse soup

Michelle Spurgeon

I love the wrestler breakdown. As a 90s and early 2000s watcher those guys were right in my wheelhouse. Shawn Michaels was my favorite! When he retired it just wasn't the same for me. I was also over them trying to redo the 90s storylines with 2000s censorship.

ASHNRider

Glad y’all answered my question on breakfast foods. Personally I’m a FT>Pancakes>Waffles

The Wizard Skoolie

Jake ordering at the buffet is crabster all over again

Jake de Medeiros

Hey just for reference when elephants try and k*ll people they don’t stomp, they try and squish you with their foreheads. They have a pretty good understanding of how heavy they are, and their forehead is flat enough that it’s a good crushing surface!

Dale Colburn

I love hearing Murph and Caldwell argue

Daniel

Caldwell Berted HARD about AI art and everyone was in such new territory that they just let him speak his piece and move on

Fyco

Potato? How did no one pick vodka?

Tannictor

You guys should do some call of cthulu you can get your old timey holleywood noir, that would be awesome.

Mason Shucart

Best fast food fries are for sure smashfries from smashburger. Even the tater tot version is good.

Tannictor

Have you guys never had a twice baked potatoes? Basically the loaded mixed together in a baked shell with cheese ontop! So good!

Austin Gumbiner

Listening to the potato discussion as a day 1 GOAT Show listener had me checking if Jake's opinions had changed...

Argonautica

"A commoner that knowx something." This is often call of Cthulhu type games

Vie.

Caldwell on ai was I think the most burt he's ever been, which I respect just bring it up cause it was the most burt I've heard him

Charles

Thanks for taking the question, honestly wasn’t expecting it. Truth be told, I’m not sure it’d take more than maybe a dozen or two chickens to make it life threatening for me. Especially if they’re motivated.

Abby Moreside

Shocking to me that mashed potatoes didn’t make the cut

Laurel S

old hollywood murder mystery sounds SO FUN!!!

Ian Phippen

I want the noir story so baddd

Ashleigh

After Murph described Emily as “Macho Man” Randy Savage I cracked up and had to comment because my cat’s name is “Macho Man” Kitty Savage (Macho for short).

Patrick Harry

All our two crew outside of Jake are acting like they have never seen a breakfast buffet!! I am with ya Jake, been to those awesome breakfast buffets with your sweet treat options as well as a delicious omelette bar attached. Breakfast buffets are the best buffets

Glenn D AKA Mcdoogins

Dang now I'll never know what their favorite Anchorman quotes are.

Pandaman1165

All the food questions are giving some big zoom adventuring party "this is a food podcast" vibes. It's so great to see because Murph and Emily couldn't make those adventuring parties (for the most part).

Sara

A murder mystery campaign with the Call of Cthulhu system would be cool

Danny McMahon

Burger King fries are really bad and this is not up for debate

Ebony-Rose Ellis

listening to the potato segment as a non-american felt like deciphering code

Lorelei and Kyra Newly Weds

How was the first question not pancake, waffles or crepes ? French toast is another level same as crepes

Lorelei and Kyra Newly Weds

In my opinion about trying a bunch of different fries is that you guys would need to record while on the road so you can get the freshest, crispiest, right out of the oil fries as possible. because warm, hot and cold fries do all hit different

Lexi H

I was so glad to hear the immediate drop of pancakes from a majority. My friends all razz me for choosing waffles but they are superior.

Elijah

Exactly what i was thinking, call of cthulu lends itself way better to a noir setting than the d and d ruleset. Dungeans and daddies had a call of cthulu mini campaign that was great and was an old hollywood/ noir setting

Sharon G

A short old-Hollywood-murder-mystery campaign would be SO fun to see (or hear lol)

David Kuckuck

My palate continues to be very different from the naddpod crew's. I'm closest to Caldwell, before he changes his opinions as soon as Murph challenges them.

Craig Weatherhead

The overall lack of serious consideration / respect for hash browns and pancakes was wild 😘

jaydon

I think you guys could make a vary good call of cthulu campaign

Lia

(Vampire?) Noir, Hollywood Murder Mystery, BIOSHOCK type setting, maybe even a Solarpunk setting? 👀

mattbonner47@gmail.com

Just because you guys were joking about bird math the first non human animal to ever be observed doing math was Alex the Parrot an African Grey there’s a great book about him and the incredible woman who was the scientist who trained him

Dakota Paulson

Caldwell, I highly recommend you listen to any of the Friends at the Table mecha seasons (Counter/Weight, Twilight Mirage, Partizan, and Palisade) if you wanna get ideas for mecha ttrpg concepts. I think you’d love it

munch lax

I remember my Dad drinking his coffee on the toilet lol he always had a coffee

Jenn Lewis

Desperately and impatiently waiting for Murph’s bioshock old Hollywood Murder mastery.

Robert

Sit - the method is to slightly lean.

Mortimer Lunch

Murph having a menty b over the would you rather question is peak Brian behavior

Jonathan H.

Hear me out: if you’re clumsy, Dex is not your dump stat, you just have disadvantage on your dex saving throw

Baron Trousers

After hearing the crew talk about their own personal stats, it makes me really want to hear them play "End of the World" by FFG. Listening to them playing a TTRPG verson of themselfs attempting to survive the apocalypse would be top tier.

Matthew the Ninja

Just have to add to the potato/fries discussion: You absolutely have to try a twice baked potato. They take FOREVER but it’s totally worth it. And for fast food fries: Jack in the Box curly fries are the best

BeanCurdHero

Big ups to the hashbrown shout out

Lorelei and Kyra Newly Weds

How has no one mentioned Murph standing to wipe his but until he was 17? This baffled my wife for hours and I've tried not to think about it because it upsets me to no end

Cameron Davis

HBK wrestled Bret Hart, and everyone knows that rivalry was super professional and everything went perfectly fine with that feud

Hailee Henson

How tf do you wipe your ass sitting down... like how do you reach it...? I dnt want to have to google this...

DM Dennis

Hey guys, thank you for answering my question! If you’d be so kind let me editorialize it for you: would you rather every time you sneeze you teleport to a random location in the world (on land) or every time you sneeze you freeze (for 3 seconds but you don’t notice it yourself). Love the show! Greetz from the Netherlands 💪 P.s. My girlfriend and I got to this question on our 1300 mile road-trip to her parents in Spain by doing a bunch of would you rathers to pass the time. The original question said “teleport to a random location in the country you live in” . We ended up arguing that the world would be more fun but as murph said you would scarcely be home anymore. So we agreed on freezing every time we sneeze.

Ryan

Murphy is greatly underestimating chickens. If we’re over 15 chickens, it’s over. They’re pecking you to death

thiswayjose

This party noticing they’re “oops all bards” was very funny

Aaron Sterne

Hell yeah Santino Marrella’s the GOAT

Taylor

You guys dispense nostalgic conversations like a 3 star Michelin restaurant…Aquabats and Tony hawk pro skater soundtracks. Chefs kiss!

Zeon Liberation

I just realized that this is Seinfeld. Pretty sure there is an episode about a “drenched French”

Whitney Peterson

Those campaign ideas all sound incredible, noir absolutely and I love jakes suggestion a Downton Abbey small scale little mini-run. I really hope you do all of these ideas!!

Saru

I think Emily is really humble about the fact that she has a +5 to strength and can lift a car. Other people would make it their whole personality but Emily rarely ever talks about it. So down to earth!

polyglottal cracker

It's funny hearing Murph's belief about the pact with cats, because my strongest belief is that humans have an unpayable debt to dogs. We spent thousands of years training and breeding them to our arrogant whims and effectively forcing their evolution to depend on us so that we could have protection and companionship. We absolutely owe them, bare minimum, our stewardship and care.

Jolly Bee Happy

Bioshock Infinite is my favorite game of all time! I would pay dvd blu ray price for a Murph dm’d campaign set in the bio shock universe.

Manuel Espinoza

Resident south Texas brown boy here, I’ve NEVER heard “home fries” before. I had to google image it and those my friends, are just called Papas around here lol

Takowowo

There's a diner by my place that has deep fried french toast. Been a french toast man since

Moonlit Ghost

On average, my dad sneezes anywhere between 8-15 sneezes in a single burst. He'll go into sneezing fits for easily 10 seconds long at a time

Chandler harmeson

I'm just saying Sock Shoe Sock Shoe is really helpful if you're in a public place and you don't wanna stand directly on the floor.

PastaCortez

Home fries are an east coast label from my experience

polyglottal cracker

Talking about spicy food, Jake's right about tangs that make you go "woo" — a "woo" tang ain't nothing to fuck with.

Sam Fellows

Caldwell French toast cooking tutorials…?

Party Pat

Had never listened to The Aquabats until today, thanks for the idea 2 Crew! I can see why this would be Caldwell’s vibe, some zany and creative tunes.

Danny B.

Old Hollywood and Bridgerton...did they just listen to Dungeons and Daddies Patreon episodes?

Serge

We dip fries into mashed potatoes. 😁

Courtney W

The potato you lose is scalloped potatoes. There is nothing worth saving in a scalloped potato.

AmberDextrous!

South Texas white girl here and i've heard it! Mostly from like... greasy spoon diners. But yeah..... those are Papas.

Bear J

Anyone else find weird how Murph hate anchor man and pancakes? What’s up with that?

Summer Rose (Grantaire)

If you guys decide to do a hot sauce episode/event, i recommend blair's. I'm not a huge hot sauce fanatic but i looooooove spicy food and they're a hometown brand here in jersey (which murph can appreciate!). i add a single drop of the ultra death sauce to my coffee every morning, that's all it takes, and it's incredible

Katie P.

Murph would run a great Cthulhu game

NathanS

the answer is del taco fries

Jmp098

I own chickens and they’re so brutal

Garga Lenoir

If you want to play a Noir story, DnD/Pathfinder are among the worst choices in TTRPGs. You don't want hit points, classes and levels in a grounded realistic story. There are hundreds of better systems for it. Remember kids, TTRPGs are more than just DnD.

TitoDarko

Hands down Chick-fil-A Fries 🍟 are the best

Stephen Fike

Definitely making a “tasty dangle” shirt after all this wiener talk

Mike Bishop

Speaking of the worst place to eat, last year my friend got last place our Fantasy Football league and had to eat a full lunch on a hot summer day in a port-a-potty. The lunch consisted of a tuna sandwich, Funyuns, and a glass of milk.

Theo Englund

STAND UP WIPER TRUTHERS FINALLY

Devin Tyler

Caldwell should go on Hot Ones! The show with hot questions, and even hotter wings

squalor and splendor

I think the noir/old Hollywood would fit better with call of cthulu

Andrew Fawley

They go to his Instagram for Explain That Gram and it's a bunch of drawings of hot frogs and bearded ladies😆

Mooncrest

Knock On Wood by Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Astik Kulkarni

One of the best movies with the premise of a commoner finding "something interesting" is Andhadhun on Netflix. Check it out.

Noah Coleman

Unfortunately I put on one sock, then shoe at a time. Ashamed of it but I just do it and I have no clue why

itsellie

I love the chill episodes. Absolutely immaculate vibes. Also for Berting, I believe Caldwell Bert'd during the Trinyvale camp when Jake tried a motorcycle move where Nyack almost ate it and Caldwell was strict with the ruling.

Jessica Valles

I found that if I’m procrastinating on where I have to go I’ll put on one sock and one shoe at a time but if I’m excited then it’s both socks then shoes

Goodspot

Culvers crinkle fries

el

dungeon and daddies has done a really cool old hollywood call of cthulhu mini campaign that was like body horror mystery vibes

PJ

Murph is the best there is, there best there was, and the best there ever will be 🫲🩷🖤🫱

Hammy

Murph comparing his wife to Macho Man is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

Forg

WAS THAT A CAT’S MEOW AT 42:51?!? 🥹

Huascar Holguin

Second time listener here (this time listening to epi then the Patreon bonus episode right after) so I just heard this episode last week. I’m currently sitting in Little Tart Bakeshop in Atlanta trying French Toast for the first time in my 29 years of life because of this podcast. I’m 80% done and I can’t believe this was in the running with waffles and pancakes. I’ll start by saying, this is a very well done French toast. Beautiful display, fancy fruit, nutmeg. and everything else at this cafe is fantastic. It’s very good, but no where near as good as the other two. It didn’t arrive drenched but I was shocked it was served with syrup. It’s so sweet, I’m having brunch and I’m overwhelmed. I can’t imagine eating this for breakfast. I guess I’m just shocked pancakes were out so fast over FT. Overall 4/10. Okay love you guys. Bye.

Devin Tyler

Sean would definitely be an 8-bit book bud

Devin Tyler

Andrew is speaking hypothetically I think.

Bryce Peterson

I was wondering if anyone was going to address what Jake said about the buffet, and of course Murph quickly swoops in and dunks on him haha. That whole section was great. Also a proud stander while I wipe (crouched over obviously).

Alannah

love hearing emily say noir so quickly at 37:25 in a post-twank world🖤 glad she got her wish

Nick francis

I’m out their fit I’m in for French toast lol

ThacoIsWacko

I've spent 46 years standing while wiping, and it never occurred to me that there was any other way. *bidet has entered the chat*

ThacoIsWacko

I saw your comment, forgot about it, and when I got to the moment, I heard her say, "Gwar", remembered your comment, and was immediately disappointed.

The Grinch (feral)

As a t1 diabetic who low key is very prone to going low, the worst time to eat a snack in in the middle of any sort of multi hour standardized testing where food and drink isn’t allowed. Especially if the food you’re eating is crunchy or crinkly or makes any noise whatsoever. Having 20 stressed and hangry highschoollers giving u the side eye as you frantically chow down on a ziplock full of cheezits is life changing as a socially anxious 15 year old lmao

Lauren

Low DEX w sleight of hand proficiency representation! Me too Caldwell

Lauren

This is too relatable

i am a smapphire

Em in the middle of the sneeze/hiccups argument lmao "waffles"

Cody Zimmer

French toast, but specifically Challah French Toast.

Cody Zimmer

All of this baked potato talk, and now 2.5 years later, it manifested into Spudfuckers.

Jo Hobbs

You need to try potato scones

Branchy

soup with cheese? I am too central asian for this

BurtMcKraken

The potato question before Spudfuckers happened is very revealing lol

Val

My god