Female space pirate captain x buff female reader (nsfw) *commission* (Patreon)
Content
Hello my lovelies! It's been a little quieter on here in the aftermath of the colossal 'Twelve Days of Monstermas' project, which saw as many stories as you signed up for in a year being released in just 12 days!
Having said that, I've opened up commissions for you folks, and I've got two takers already! The first one is for a lovely patron who requested a lithe, female, feline-ish, sassy space pirate captain, who's a total badass in daily life but is a submissive in the bedroom. We talked it through, and here's 5200 or so words of what has been a super fun story to write. I adore writing strong women, so this was just heaven. It'll go up on Tumblr in a few days or so, but as usual, and especially since it was a Patreon commission, it's up here first for your enjoyment (hopefully!)
The heat here was unbearable, but there was little you could do beyond sitting in this back-alley bar, drinking something that called itself beer, but was probably something long-ago fermented and unmentionable, wondering what you were going to do with your life now.
A commotion from outside wasn’t an unusual occurrence, but at this time of day, most of the town was asleep - or sitting in a bar - escaping the searing heat of this dust bowl of a planet’s midday sun. With a sigh, you eased yourself off the laughably small bar stool and tossed a couple of local credits at the sleepy, twin headed alien behind the bar. They nodded, and you cracked your knuckles, watching the way your tattoo sleeve rippled as your muscles flexed. At least you’d not lost your shape in the last few months, along with practically everything else.
A blaster shot made you think twice about getting involved, but when you heard the feral hissing of something that sounded in significant trouble, you bit back the surge of fear and then laughed as it shifted into adrenaline-fuelled glee. As the door bounced back off its hinges behind you, you saw a lithe, sandy-coloured creature, perhaps about five feet tall, with feline ears pulled back and lips drawn off sharp canines in a rictus of hate and ire. She spat in the face of the thug who held her aloft by the collar of her dusky blue, military style jacket, and you closed the distance between them and you in three easy strides.
Bringing your elbow ramming down on his arm, you got the thug to let go of the hissing wildcat, and with your other fist, you punched his lights out in one easy stroke. Barely out of breath, you turned to her and cocked an eyebrow at her.
She took in the dirty sleeveless vest you wore, the muscles of your arms, your impressive height, the tattoos, and something intangible rippled through her before she caught her breath and said, “I had it handled.”
“I’m sure you did,” you chuckled. “But the owner of the bar is a friend of mine, and he wouldn’t appreciate having to clean up a couple of corpses. The way you were looking at them, it might have gone that way…” you said, eyeing the smoking stain on the wall where a blaster bolt had gone astray. “You should get out of here before they come round.”
A footstep at the far end of the narrow alleyway drew your attention immediately, and you half shifted smoothly to step between the lithe, lean figure and this new addition, who was certainly a looker. At just over seven feet, he was a wall of scaly, greenish-grey muscle, with a face full of teeth, and glittering golden eyes. His enormous body blocked out the light at the far end of the alleyway almost completely. He clearly took in the prone figures in the dust of the alley, and sized you up for a fight.
“Stand down, Hra’ag,” the wiry woman barked from behind you, shoving you aside with surprising strength. “It’s fine.”
“Boss?” he growled. “Everything alright?”
“Bastards must have followed me back from the fence’s place,” she said, striding along with no care that I might overhear talk of her illegal activities. Then again, this place really was a den of villainous scum, so it was hardly surprising that she’d been up to something less than law-abiding. She paused at the end of the alleyway and exchanged a few words with her subordinate, who sucked in a surprised breath, and then looked at you.
You leaned casually against the fragmenting plaster of the mud building beside you, and crossed your arms, curious.
“After that display, I was actually thinking of offering this hunk of flesh and ink a job,” she laughed, turning back to face you, golden eyes glimmering faintly. “I assume you can, in fact, do more than stand there and look menacing?”
You had to laugh. The audacity of this little creature, with her bright eyes and feline features, was enchanting. “I can go anywhere and look menacing,” you chuckled, which drew a little smirk from her before she hid it. “But I’m actually an engineer by trade. Most recently though, I was a gunner in the Alliance army, but that didn’t end so well, so I… er… struck out on my own, shall we say?”
She and her friend shared a look before she asked you for your name, and demanded to know whether you had any reason to stay on this miserable, grit-blasted planet. When you’d told her, and said that you were free as the proverbial bird, she nodded, held out her hand, and welcomed you aboard, on a period of probation course. “That means I can ask any of my crew to shoot you and dump you out into the vast vacuum of space without even blinking, understood?” Her palm was leathery and warm, and oh so delicately tiny as you enveloped her hand to shake it in agreement. This might just be the change you were looking for in your life.
You liked her. There was just something about her sass that spoke volumes about how deeply she cared fro her crew, so you let her fill you in on what she’d been doing on this backwater planet in the first place - namely shuttling some goods that had been acquired under ‘interesting circumstances’ to the fence who lived in the back alley behind the bar. Everyone knew about the fence, but no one commented or did anything because she had little pieces of everyone’s lives stowed away in her vault of knowledge. She was a careful fence, and no one crossed her.
The ship was a relatively nondescript, lightweight transporter, but you could see that she’d been heavily modified, and couldn’t wait to get a closer look under her clothes. When you said as much, her hulking first officer had snorted a laugh and said, “I think I like your new recruit, Captain.”
The Captain made no reply as she strode aboard and began barking orders to make ready to leave.
You got to know the ship and her crew together on the first jaunt she took, doing an easy run to another backwater planet in the star system to shuttle some more goods from there. You crawled all over the ship’s engine room, tweaking this and tightening that, until she was running without a rumble or a cough, and the navigator herself came to thank you one evening.
“She’s never run so smoothly in my entire time here,” she laughed, clapping you on the back with one of her four hands.
A large portion of the crew had gathered that night in the mess room, and the off-watch were sharing their rations of beer and booze, and generally putting their feet up.
“So,” Hra’ag rumbled as he came and eased his huge, scaled body into the large seat next to you with a heavy grunt. The ship’s first officer had initially been a little suspicious of you, until you’d beaten everyone but him in an arm-wrestling match - you weren’t stupid enough to take on 400lbs of pure muscle - and now he had opened up a lot more.
You liked him, and respected his opinions and leadership. “So… what?” you snorted.
“I wanted to ask how you’ve settled in, I guess,” he said. “What do you think of us all? How’s the ship treating you, and all that? You pulled one hell of a move bypassing that thingamajig earlier to give us the power we needed in the guns, I don’t mind telling you.”
You grinned. He might have had more than a clue about how to avoid Targ’un raiders, but he had no idea about the runnings of the ship herself, but that was fine; that was why you were there. “Thanks,” you muttered. “Yeah, it’s been good. I’m glad I took the job.”
He frowned.
“Captain’s… interesting…” you hedged. Your mind reeled back to seeing her barking orders on the bridge during the brief skirmish with the flurry of raiders in their nippy fighters. Cold, calculating, and utterly uncompromising, she had got you all through it, but when one of the newer members of the crew, who had joined up only a month or so before you had, had got underfoot, she had verbally stripped him down and left him a quaking, gibbering wreck.
Hra’ag chortled softly in his enormous, reptilian throat and nodded. “That she is. She’s a frigid bitch, but she’s the best goods runner this side of the Akthuni Asteroid Belt. I trust her with my life, but… maybe not my balls…”
“I don’t have any of those to worry about,” you grinned, and he laughed again.
“Oh, I like you, new girl.” He punched you none-too-lightly on the bicep. “Built like a damned mech, not afraid to speak her mind, and knows her bloody job. I should have known the moment I saw you in that alleyway, holding that thug in the air like he was just an empty coat…”
A few of the crew raised their drinks to you, and you rolled your eyes and bid them a rather bashful goodnight not long after.
As you left the bulkhead doors closed behind you, you almost rammed straight into a slight figure in the shadows, leaning against the walls, arms crossed over her chest, and her delectable ears drooping.
“Captain?” you rasped, stepping back. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”
The expression of brief vulnerability shattered and was covered instantly by her usual mask of derisive sarcasm. She let her large, piercing eyes rake up the length of your, admittedly impressive, body, before she sighed dramatically and said, “You may be good with a spanner in a time of crisis, but Hra’ag is right; you’re built like a mech, and you have the delicacy and subtlety of a tank.”
You frowned, more curious than offended. “Sorry, Captain,” you murmured gently.
Something was off. Her eyes glowed strangely in the half light of the corridor, and an emotion burned in their depths that drew you in. You nodded curtly, however, and took your leave, not wanting to crowd her. It was only as you made your way back to your bunk that you made the connection. She had clearly heard Hra’ag’s comments, repeating the ‘built like a mech’ compliment/insult, which must have meant that she’d heard the ‘frigid bitch’ comment, and the ripple of ascent that had run round the others. It hurt her, and you seemed to be the only one who saw that.
Stowing the information away, you showered and climbed into bed, wondering what the next day would bring, when you, Hra’ag, and a third by the name of Colter would be running the supply drop with the Captain.
It all went smoothly, until Colter got into a fight not five afterwards with a local bruiser twice his size, and it devolved into a back alley brawl. “This is starting to get familiar, Captain,” you grinned as you put your guard up and lashed out with a good old fashioned one-two combination that had the first unsuspecting thug on his back in the blink of an eye.
She grinned at you, springing lithely off the wall and wrapping her arm around the neck of the second lout while you pummelled him in the sternum, leaving him incapacitated and winded.
“Duck!” you yelled, and at the last second, the Captain dropped to the floor, leaving the poor blundering bruiser no choice but to thunder straight into your incoming punch. You stepped forwards, using the momentum of your swing to carry you onwards, and swept the slender Captain behind you in a smooth motion as a woman with a knife closed in on you.
You’d had combat training, and in a flash all your instincts kicked in. The woman was left with no knife, a sprained wrist, and a permanently bruised ego at the end of it. You had a split lip, Hra’ag had lost a few scales, and Colter was about to get a fortnight’s worth of latrine cleaning for his stupidity, if the look on your Captain’s face was anything to go by.
“Back to the ship,” she snarled, brushing her coat down. “Fucking hell, I don’t know why I took you on in the first place, Col. You’re nothing but trigger-happy trouble.”
“Sorry, ma’am,” he mumbled, scuffing his boots in the dirt and sporting a rapidly-swelling black eye.
The ship was docked on the far side of town, and instead of taking off immediately, the Captain decided that that night she would join you all for a few rounds of cards and some drinks in a local bar. “Heaven knows I could use a drink after what you lot put me through today,” she snapped.
It was easy enough to see the effect she had on the rest of the crew. They respected the hell out of her, some practically worshipping her as a captain and fighter, but they were clearly not as comfortable around her as she wished they might be. After only a few hands of poker, and nowhere near enough drink to numb the throbbing in your lip, the beautiful, sassy, quick-witted Captain rose and sighed. “I have no wish to watch the rest of you sink into hitherto unplumbed depths of depravity. Whatever you do, do not bring trouble onto my ship, or I’ll kick you off it and leave you behind.”
“Yes, ma’am,” most folks chimed at once, in varying degrees of clarity and coherence.
She flickered a tiny smile at you as she left, and then headed alone back to the ship, hands in her pockets.
You scowled and declined Hra’ag’s invitation to join in a fresh hand of poker. “Nah, I’m beat,” you said. “All that excitement has drained me. I’m gonna head back and get some shut-eye.”
“Fair enough,” he said, and you made your way to the exit not long after the Captain.
You didn’t even know her name. Everyone on the crew, and anyone you’d met, just called her ‘Captain’. Curiosity about her drew you through the dusty backstreets until you came to the outskirts of town, where she’d set the ship down and left her with a skeleton crew on guard.
Once aboard, you wandered aimlessly around until you found yourself at the bulkhead doors that led to the bridge. They were open, and beyond you could see the Captain’s slender figure, her slim waist and feline ears silhouetted against the lights of the town visible beyond. Massive and dolorous, the triple moons of the planet hung above the sprawling town, and as you took in the whole tableau, you couldn’t help but think how sad and small and alone she seemed against the vastness of space beyond.
You knocked on the doors and murmured, “Ma’am?”
Her shoulders straightened, and her drooping ears pricked up in a false display of bravado. “What is it?” she snapped without turning to face you.
“I don’t mean to intrude,” you said, boldly stepping into a space where you shouldn’t really have been without invitation. You made your footsteps clear, and she half turned to glare at you, but she didn’t send you away.
“Well, you are,” she retorted.
“Are you alright?” you asked in a gentle voice. Being so tall and muscular, with your tattoos as well, you had a tendency to project a rather more menacing demeanour than you had, and sure, it came in handy in a fight, but when it came to comforting folks you cared for, it often had the opposite effect.
The Captain didn’t flinch as you asked it though, and she just turned around and stared at you. Something unreadable filled her big eyes, and you wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss her; to take her delicate, exquisite, scowling face in your big, rough hands, and kiss her until she smiled. Perhaps she saw something of that on your face, because she sighed.
“You really shouldn’t be here,” she said, but her voice had lost all its edge.
Swallowing nervously, you brought your hand up and placed it on her wiry bicep. “Captain,” you said, stroking her gently, exploratively, almost tentatively with your thumb.
“Ammi,” she murmured. “My name is Ammi.”
“Ammi,” you repeated, smiling. “I like it.”
“It’s a type of flower from your planet, I’m told,” she said softly.
You smiled. “I didn’t know that,” you chuckled. “Guess I know more about engines than flowers…”
Her gaze fell to your fingers on her dusky blue, military-style jacket, and she let a tiny smile play at the corner of her lips. “Thank you for today,” she said, her voice suddenly hoarse with emotion.
You grinned, feeling the stretch in your sore lip. “Pleasure to stand by you in a fight, Capt- Ammi,” you corrected, and she let out a fluttering laugh. “You brawl like an alley cat, and I mean no disrespect in that.”
“And you fight like a Korggan,” she said. “But don’t tell Hra’ag I said that, or he’ll challenge you to a duel or something to prove he’s the better fighter.”
You laughed, and shifted your touch to her neck. Instinctively it seemed, the Captain leaned into your palm and let out a deep groan of pleasure that was almost a purr. You watched as her reservations and walls and shields crumbled under your touch, and you leaned down to what had to be a very sensitive ear, and whispered, “With all due respect, ma’am, I’d like to take you back to your quarters now…”
Her spine went rigid, the tension shooting up her back and into her face and ears again, and she glared at you, searching for mockery, for vindictive cruelty, but when she found nothing but concern, she ground her teeth and hissed, “Let me walk there alone. Join me in my quarters in five minutes.”
You nodded, giving her the space she clearly needed to separate herself from being ‘The Captain’ to being just ‘Ammi’. It would take you about that time anyway to freshen yourself up a little after the brawl in the alley and the evening of drinking disgusting beer in a grimy bar.
When you knocked on her door and were admitted, just over five minutes later, she was sitting on a small couch, wearing a large, billowing bath robe and looking decidedly anxious.
A smile blossomed on your lips, and you let the door close behind you. “You sure about this, ma’am?” you asked.
“Not ma’am in here,” she said in a small voice. “Please.”
You nodded, and gave her another reassuring smile. You cocked your head towards the little door that obviously led to her private en suite, and asked in a soft voice, “May I bathe you?”
She seemed taken aback by that, her ears swivelling to lie flat against her head for a moment, but she allowed it, and rose gracefully to check on the water. You followed her, keeping your own clothes on while she shed the bathrobe with surprising shyness and hung it on the back of the door.
Her figure was incredible. A soft layer of downy fur covered her entire body, but you could see the wiry hardness of her muscles beneath, the mounds of her small breasts, and the sensuous curve of her hips that flared out from a narrow waist, and you drank in the sight of her with wide, adoring eyes.
She tried to escape the fervour of your gaze by slinking into the water, and you got to work on her, sponging her back off first, and then, when she was clean, you brought your big hands to her delicate shoulders and began to massage the incredible, steel-hard tension from them.
Your prickly Captain became putty in your hands as you took care of her, moaning softly as you scratched the soft, wet fur of her scalp and pressed firm circles into the muscles of her shoulders, arms, and back. When your touch softened and became more exploitative, she tensed a little, but you waited, palms pressed against her taut stomach until she went slack again.
“Good,” you murmured, and she shivered, making the water ripple. Interesting. “That’s it,” you said again, leaning close and letting your lips brush against the point of her sandy-coloured ear.
As you shifted closer, you slid one hand down her body, beneath the water, and paused right beside her hip. Unthinkingly, she rolled upwards, and mewled.
“You want me to touch you?” you asked, and she nodded breathlessly.
You could hardly believe the way she unravelled at the lightest of touches. Her body was incredibly sensitive, and it occurred to you that this ‘frigid bitch’ had probably not been with anyone for a very long time, nor had anyone show her any sort of physical kindness.
“Shh,” you smiled a little while later as she began to whimper while you took her closer to her climax. “Shh, I’ve got you,” and with that, she came, your fingers circling her swollen clit, her back arching, her throat exposed, her mouth flung wide in a cry of intense pleasure, sharp teeth exposed. “That’s it,” you crooned. “I’ll take good care of you, Captain,” you growled in her ear, and she began to purr.
The sonorous rumbling filled the room, and you continued to tease her, overstimulating her almost to the point of pain, until the water began to cool.
“Come on,” you said. “Let’s get you out so I can do that all over again, only somewhere more comfortable for us both.”
She let you dry her, and you made sure to take your time. The more you stimulated her with gentle touches, the more pliant she became. She gazed up at you with docile, soft eyes, and you kissed her as she stood in the circle of your arms. “Let me take care of you…”
She nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice rasping and her eyes glassy.
“Hey now,” you said, tilting her chin up so you could kiss her properly. “None of that. You don’t have to thank me for taking care of you.” And with that, you simply picked her up in your arms and carried her, limp and still purring, to her bed. You’d had partners like her before; women with powerful roles, who wielded that power so deftly during the day, but who needed at night to be someone different, to give over all that tight-leashed control to someone else. Ammi, it seemed, was one such individual, and you adored her even more for it.
“Before I lose you completely,” you said, “I need you to do one thing for me. You think you can do that?” you asked, and she nodded, looking up at you with a slight wariness creeping into those eyes. “Relax, first of all,” you chuckled. “I just want you to give me a colour if I ask you for one: red, amber, or green. You want me to take the lead, don’t you?” you clarified, and she nodded immediately.
“Please,” she hissed, writhing slightly beneath you on the bed.
“Shh,” you smiled, pressing your large hand across the flat of her stomach and rubbing circles with your thumb through her still damp fur. “I will, I promise. Since it’s our first time together, I promise not to ask too much of you, or be too dominant or aggressive. If you like it, we can always do it again, but if I ask you for a colour and you don’t give me one, I’ll call amber and we’ll have a time out, ok?”
She nodded.
“You call red, and we stop, no questions asked.”
Again, she nodded, but this time she added a soft little mewl, and you had to laugh.
“I’ve made you wait long enough. I’m sorry. You’re good. You’re so good. You already came once for me, but now I want to see how long I can make you last. You think you can last for me til I say you can come?”
She nodded, hips shifting, clawed hands fisting the sheets into bunches beneath her.
“Easy,” you chuckled.
You lowered your face between her legs and kissed up the downy insides of her lean thighs. “So beautiful,” you murmured, stroking your thumbs across the join of thigh and hip, making her quiver and shake. She was so wet, her folds glistening as you lapped gently enough at them to make her cry out.
“Good,” you said. “You can make all the noise you need for me tonight. Another night I might see if you can keep quiet while I tease you. Would you like that?”
The Captain leaned her head back into the pillows behind her and mewled again.
“Good,” you said, and she reacted to the praise the way you’d hoped she would, by beginning to pant, seeking out the touch of your fingers against her once more.
You edged her three times, playing with her body, watching her writhing and begging beneath you, holding her down and steadying her when she got too desperate, and even letting her claw her way up your arms before pressing her firmly back down into the bed with an admonishment and a withdrawal of your touch. That, this evening anyway, would be her punishment.
“Gods, you’re so beautiful like this,” you praised and she gasped as you brushed her swollen clit with your thumb. Her toes stretched and curled, and you said, “Do you want to know what seeing you like this is doing to me?”
Soundlessly, her eyes rolled open, and as you stood to undress, her hand moved instinctively to continue pleasuring herself.
You debated for a moment whether to tell her to stop, but instead, you said, “You can keep doing that, but slow down. I don’t want you coming yet.” The idea hit you and you grinned, adding, “You can’t come now until I do.”
Ammi moaned desperately, her fingers circling her beautiful, throbbing clit, and you licked your lips. Still, you undressed slowly, feeling her eyes on you as you bared your impressive body for her. You knew you looked good, with your defined muscles and your dark tattoo sleeve, but the look on her face was pure magic.
“You like me like this, Captain?” you asked in a low voice, and she gave you a smile and bit her lip, moaning. “Easy now,” you cautioned, and she dutifully slowed. Your pleased ‘good’, was met with a mewling purr.
Staring down at her, you ached to know what that rough, dexterous tongue of hers would feel like against you, and you knelt on the bed beside her.
“May… May I…?” she panted, speaking for the first time since you'd brought her back into the bedroom.
“May you what, Captain?” you said, trailing your fingers idly down between her breasts before running a knuckle under each, and returning to apply a good deal of pressure on her hard nipples. The actions left her unable to speak, so you eased up just a little. No need to go overboard on your first session. At least, you hoped it would be the first of many… “Captain?” you prompted, and she swallowed, scraping her thoughts back together. You noticed that she’d paused in the motions of her fingers, and you shook your head. “I didn’t say you could stop,” you smiled. “You can’t come just yet, but I don’t want you cooling off…”
“S-Sorry,” she hissed, her breath hitching as she began to circle her clit once again.
“That’s alright,” you reassured her. “Now, what did you want to do?”
“May I touch you?”
“Of course,” you grinned. “How would you feel about me sitting astride you…? Putting these thighs around your face…?”
Ammi’s spine arched dramatically at that, and she threw her head back.
“Use words, Captain… or I’ll cover myself up again and you won’t get to taste me…”
“No!” she gasped. “No, please. Please…”
“Please what?”
“Sit on me…” she slurred, eyes rolling open again to gaze imploringly at you.
“With pleasure. Now, you can keep touching yourself, but you can’t come until you make me come with that deft little tongue of yours. Alright?”
She nodded her assent.
“If you need to stop or pause, you tap my thigh, alright? And I’ll ask you for a colour.”
She didn’t need a colour, and you had a very hard time clinging to your sanity long enough not to just come all over her in the first three seconds of her lapping at your clit and moaning, pressing her tongue into you, her cool, feline nose nudging against your clit as she explored as much of you as she could.
Your thick, strong thighs began to tremble, and you rocked your hips back and forth against her, feeling her writhing and squirming below you, her hand locked into place by your weight. Her other hand moved up and down your thigh, and sometimes her claws raked across your skin, adding the perfect counterpoint of pain to the pleasure of her immeasurably clever tongue.
White heat coiled in you, the sensations drawing together, converging on that tiny place between your thighs where her rough tongue lapped and licked at you, working you closer and closer until you finally came with a shuddering groan, clenching tight as she pressed her tongue flat against you, drinking the taste of you down as you orgasmed harder than perhaps you'd ever come in your whole life.
A second later, you felt her buck against you, pulling her head back to gasp in a last gulp of air before she too lost herself to the searing pleasure of her release. Shakily, you swung off her and watched as she rippled and shivered, twitching and moaning, pressing her thighs together and holding her fingertips in place as she rocked and released.
You stroked the thicker fur of her scalp as she finished, and licked her fingers clean for her once you’d pried them out from between her lean thighs. “You did so well,” you praised, watching her quiver at your low tone and kind words. “I’m so proud of you. You’re so beautiful.”
You covered her with the rumpled sheet and she mewled softly, the first hint of distress creeping into her voice.
“You’re alright,” you murmured. “You want me to stay?”
“Yes,” she rasped. “Please. If…”
You didn't her finish, sliding into the bed beside her and drawing her close to your body heat. You continued to stroke her while she began to surface from that deep subspace she’d tipped suddenly into in the bath, and you pressed gentle kisses to her cheek and neck. “That was incredible,” you whispered. “Thank you for giving me that.”
She smiled shyly. “I… I enjoyed it…”
“Good,” you said. “I’m glad.”
“You won’t… You won’t tell them, will you?”
You shook your head. “No,” you said. “I understand. You can be their captain out there, and my Captain in here,” you went on, using a different tone of voice to indicate the difference in her state of mind.
She smiled and wriggled closer to you.
“Any time you need release like that, you just let me know.”
“I will,” she said, drifting off into a deep sleep only a few heartbeats later.
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! If you want a commission of your own, you can find the info you need either here in this announcement post, or on my commissions page on Tumblr (it says they're closed, but they're not closed for you folks). Come and talk to me - here in messages or on Tumblr - and we can work something out for you!