DEIMOS ALPHA OF ALPHAS CH 37: We Are Not Ready (Patreon)

A/N : This chappy will focus slightly on the siblings Giovanni and Gianna.

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Sunlight seeps through the windows, a new day has risen after rain pounded the whole night. Well, I could gladly say the rain wasn't the only thing that pounded last night. I tear my eyes open squinting to the flash of light that strikes in.

Stretching my sore limbs I sleepily twist myself to the left putting the lowest of pressure possible. My eyes widen to see my male's eyes on me. He was watching me.

"Good afternoon." He whispers with a lazy smile, elbow laid upon his pillow. Head slanted, palm carrying the weight.

"Good... afternoon?" I ask quickly shifting my gaze to the clock. We slept for a long time. Rather our bodies demanded it.

We stare at each other not saying another word. Just indulging in the new feelings we have been gifted. I can see and feel every inch of his mind and heart. I could live through his memories if I choose to. To see him grow up to the male he is today. His barriers are down allowing me full entry.

I do not feel him seeking my mind as well. Perhaps we both are tiptoeing trying to figure out individual boundaries. He tilts his head to the side simply watching me as all these thoughts swim around in my mind.

His arm reaches out, fingers shifting my hair behind baring my neck to him. Moving closer his eyes analyze the fresh mark, showing a hint of worry. His caring nature something he has slowly learned to possess with me.

As his finger scrapes through gently over the tender swollen flesh, I startle and an uncontrollable mewl escapes my lips. His eyes widen and he quickly retracts his finger. My cheeks burn and I look away embarrassed. A sound like that has never left my lips. When he touched my mark it shot a strike of pleasure straight to my core. A kind of pleasure I have never felt.

I clench my thighs together tightly hoping he cannot smell my sudden want. I rub myself over the quilt trying to calm my aching core. His nose flares and his eyes rake down my body catching my action. His jaw clenches and he fists the mattress in his palms.

This uncontrollable thirst draws him forth to me. I cannot seem to control it. "I-I think its because you touched my mark." I stutter out.

He groans loudly moving closer ready to pounce on the awaiting me but a soft knock interrupts us. I bite my lip as Deimos sighs deeply, his head hung low. Fist softly banging the mattress.

"Alpha Deimos, I apologize to disturb you at this time but Alpha Giovanni is waiting. He has sent some clothes for you both." A wolf speaks out from outside.

Deimos gets out of the bed bare, opening the door he grabs the pile from the wolf's extended hands. "All right, I will go now. You may both leave." He says, voice gruff. Tone annoyed but stern.

"How long have they been out there?" I ask him frowning leaning on my elbows as he puts on his boxers and sweatpants.

"All night. After you slept." He says.

"Why?" I question not understanding. Why do we need warriors to guard us? I know we are not at home but this is Giovanni's pack.

"I will not have my newly marked female sleeping in a foreign pack without safety." He says putting on his watch over his wrist.

"If something were to happen, I could have handled things myself." I reply holding my head high. My wolf showing her presence simmering beneath.  Our strength combined is unbeatable in her eyes.

Deimos walks to me to stand at my right. "That I know. I did it for myself." He says lifting my jaw to capture my lips in a gentle kiss. My mark throbs creating a burning need and I lean forward, my palms clutching his shirt. I bite and suck on his lips demanding entrance for my tongue. But he keeps his mouth shut denying me.

"Deimos." I whine.

He takes a step back putting space between us, quickly grabbing my jaw he says, "You can take the day off from training the females. Elriam can do that for today."

I nod keeping my head down slowly removing my hands off his shirt. I don't know why but a sense of sadness and disappointment wafts through me. Does he not find me appealing anymore now that we have mated?

Deimos grabs my wrists before I completely remove my hands off him. He places them on his stomach clutching them tightly. "It's not what you are thinking. I am barely controlling myself, Lumina! I just want you to relax your body today because I will definitely... drain it out again."

With an underlying promise he leaves the room without another glance whilst I gather up my energy to lift my sore body for a highly needed hot bath to help soothe my aching muscles.

I leave the room freshened up but with every step I take, there seems to be a strike of pain hit directly to my core. I knew the aftermath would be a bit uncomfortable by looking at the girth of his cock.

On my way out to the pack grounds, I see Mia trying hard to climb up the stairs. Her legs tremble with every step whilst her fingers clutch the railing hard. I instantly go to her side. "Are you all right, Mia?" I ask her gently as she flinches to my voice.

"Yes, Luna Lumina. Beta Elriam's training was a bit hard for my body to handle. So I am taking a short break." She says with a soft smile.

"I see. It might be hard as of now but your body will get used to it soon. If you need anything, come to me all right." I advise.

"Thank you for worrying about me." She says a soft smile on her lips. She moves to leave but I stop her once more.

"I was wondering if you know where Deimos might be?" I ask her.

She thinks for a while but her eyes light up after she figured it out. "Ah, I heard Alpha Giovanni will be training with him at his private yard. It's behind his house."

I thank her quickly and head towards Giovanni's house which is isolated from the packhouse. I smile and wave at the females on the way training with Elriam and chase some pups around playfully who call out to me. Despite losing their Alpha and Luna this pack has survived excellently under the rule of a young Alpha.

Heading into Giovanni's house my ears catch the bawling of Gianna. I search for the source and I find her in the arms of an older female. The female sways the screeching pup hurriedly but it does nothing to calm her down.

As soon as the female sees me she startles but quickly bows deep head held low. I open my arms for Gia and the female hands her to me. As soon as Gia comes into my warmth she flinches and quietens startled by the change of scent but once settled starts bawling once more.

So I begin to sway a soft lullaby leaving my lips. I sing her the song of my pack. A song for pups. It's a scared lullaby calling to the Moon Goddess. My feet move side to side and my body rocks slowly. My palm rubs her back and she finally calms down. Hiccups shake her body and she snuggles into my neck.

I keep singing turning around towards the backyard. As my eyes move up from Gia, I quickly stop singing. To find Deimos and Giovanni staring at me in awe. Giovanni's eyes shift to the now sleeping Gianna in my arms whilst Deimos looks at me with a look I still cannot seem to decipher.

He looks at me as if he is happy but scared? He is excited but fear consumes him? I don't understand this look but he often has it when I am with pups. His eyes never leave mine so I try to read his mind now that I can.

As I enter his mind, he flinches and quickly creates a barrier to his thoughts. My eyes widen to his reaction. Why? Why did you hide from me? Rather what are you hiding?

Deimos clears his throat and orders, "Let's continue." Giovanni nods in response and with one last glance at his sister he enters the spar.

As I look down at the sleeping Gianna in my arms I close my eyes and sigh in acknowledgment of my feelings that are rising to the peak. Yes, I want a pup of my own. I have been hiding this strong desire within me for years, perhaps that is the main reason I was urging Deimos to take me.

I want something only he can give. A family. I neither wished nor even hoped for a mate but the goddess gifted me one. And I know for sure she will provide me a family. But perhaps there would be a struggle with my male.

Perhaps I will gather courage and face him tonight. I might be walking on thin ice but I wish to know his thoughts on my desire. What can I do? I have become greedy.

"Get up!" Deimos screams as Giovanni struggles to stand on his feet from the ground he was just thrown on. He bleeds from the side of his face.

"G-Give me a sec-" Giovanni stutters but Deimos pays him no heed.

"You don't have seconds in the damn war. You have to save yourself and your pack! Do you even understand this?" Deimos questions. His voice is loud and stern.

Giovanni looks up at his uncle, his eyes on fire. His palm fists the earth, gathering mud in his hands. Clenching his jaw he struggles to get up putting all his energy into his legs. His blood coats the side of his cheek dripping down to his neck.

"Faster Gio! Do you think your opponent will wait kindly and patiently for the Alpha to get back on his feet? By the time you get up, members of your pack will be slaughtered. You will not be-" Deimos instructs with experience for every misdoing of Giovanni.

"Don't call me that." My ears pick up Giovanni's whisper as he cuts Deimos off.

Deimos stills and watches the juvenile calmly linking his arms behind his back. "Don't call you what? Gio?" He asks.

"I said don't call me that!"  Giovanni snarls, fangs bare. His wolf ready to pounce. My eyes widen. I have never seen him get angry at Deimos. He was always calm and composed. He controlled himself with his uncle. I knew that. I saw that.

"Why must I do as you say... Gio?" My eyes snap to Deimos. Why is he irking him? Why is he angering him further? He told me a few days ago that Giovanni held anger and pain towards him. Giovanni was controlling it.

Giovanni's body begins to shake out of rage as his uncle does not listen to his words. "Only wolves who are close to me can call me that."

"And what am I to you, Gio?" Deimos questions calmly but he takes a protective stance. He knows Giovanni has no control left. Deimos is preparing for his anger.

A deep growl leaves Giovanni's lips as he charges towards his uncle with full force. His rage finally taking control of his sanity. Deimos predicts his move and quickly dodges his oncoming fist. Giovanni moves quickly with full speed sliding through the mud with only one aim. To hit, to injure.

"You are nothing to me!" Giovanni screams as Deimos visibly flinches to his harsh words.

"Well, that's not the same for me. You are like my son, Gio." Deimos stops dodging and speaks his truth gently as Giovanni tackles him to the ground, fist raised in the air ready to hit. Deimos watches him calmly carrying his weight.

Giovanni's chest heaves, teeth grinding together. He lifts his fist higher to strike, nose scrunched up, tears welling in his agony filled eyes, but slowly calms down retracting his fist as held back tears finally flow free down his face. Clenching his jaw he gets off Deimos and puts some space between them.

Deimos gets up quickly and walks slowly towards the crying juvenile. "Gio." He calls out as if you would to a pup trying to touch his back.

"Don't touch me!" Giovanni screams turning back to look at Deimos. Tears streaming uncontrollably down his chin, eyes red and swollen. They hold so much hidden pain that is appearing in the light now.

"Gio." Deimos urges him gently closing the distance between them.

"Your son?" Giovanni scoffs. "Where were you when mamma and papa died? Where were you when I had no one to lean on? Where were you at their funeral? Where were you when... when I needed you the most?" The words are sobbed out.

"Mi dispiace, Gio. Perdonami." Deimos speaks out, eyes engulfed by heartbreak. His heart breaks for this juvenile.

"I h-had to raise G-Gia all on my own. And every time I felt like I was drowning, you... you came to my mind. But you weren't there to save me." Giovanni says palm clamped over his mouth to control his loud sobs.

"Mi dispiace." Are the only words that leave Deimos's lips.

"And you barge in here not to see or comfort me but to train me. Your sense of duty surprises me." Giovanni spits the words out. Anger consumes him once more like wildfire.

Deimos quickly grabs him in a hug and as Giovanni scratches, screams to get away from the stronghold of his uncle my male pleads with him.

"Though it may not seem like it, I came here to see you and be with you, Gio. It's all my fault for not being there for you. I was wrong. Your parents must be proud to see how well you have grown up on your own with Gia. I... I am proud as well. Forgive me." Deimos whispers as Giovanni stops fighting and sobs in his arms.

His fists bang harshly upon Deimos's chest while whispering, "Ti odio, zio." Over and over again. Deimos doesn't say anything and keeps holding the pain-filled wailing juvenile.

Deimos's eyes find mine and I nod with a soft smile grazing my lips. He has done well. Clutching Gia tighter in my arms I carry her up the stairs. I want to put her to bed so she sleeps peacefully. With every step I take, she stirs not liking the movement.

Entering the hall my eyes find several doors. As I go closer I see engraved names upon them. The first door says 'Alessandro & Bella'. This must have been the chamber of the previous Alpha and Luna. I walk quickly past Giovanni's room to find Gia's adjoined to it.

Stepping in, I stride directly to her cot and place her down softly. She whines but settles as soon as warm softness envelopes her. My eyes glide around the room to find lots of pictures of her and Giovanni.

One of the pictures capture my eyes, Giovanni is holding a laughing toothless Gia in his arms both covered with birthday cake. He has raised her well. She cries a lot for her age probably because she is still developing at her own pace.

As I look out the window I find Deimos and Giovanni sitting on the grass engaging in what seems like a serious conversation. Yes, they definitely need to talk it out.

My legs demand rest after standing for so long. I sit on the rocking chair next to Gianna's cot and my mind begins to wander. Is this what it would feel like if I were a mother? Is this how I would decorate my pup's room? What would we name... wait would it be a male or a female? Deimos would probably want a male since we need an heir but I can give him a female as well. Two pups. I smile.

Closing my eyes, I allow the chair to rock me. Family. I picture Deimos holding a pup in his arms whilst my stomach is big and swollen with another. Would we be a happy family? I think we will. Deimos has grown so much as a male to me. He would be an amazing father as well.

As these thoughts consume my mind, unknowingly I drift off to sleep. My mind at peace but filled with dreams of a tiny family surrounded by warmth and happiness.

I startle and getup quickly to the sound of Gianna's wailing. The cloud of haze disappears and I am alert. The blanket covering my body falls onto the ground. Blanket? Who covered me?

"Hush now. I am here." I stumble trying to reach her in the little light coming through the open door. "Had a good sleep, sweetheart?" I ask her gently chuckling.

Her tiny fists are raised in the air whilst her mouth is open wide allowing soft whimpers and whines. She wants to be carried. I quickly pick her up and put her on my chest. She immediately calms down as her nose sniffs my scent.

"M-Mamma." She says and I stop in my tracks, eyes wide. Did she just call me mamma? My heart pounds in my chest to her words.

"Gia. I am not your mamma." I try to reason with her but she snuggles into me deeper.

"Mamma." She says again. I quickly turn to the sound of a gasp behind me. My eyes find Giovanni and Deimos side by side watching the scene take place. I didn't even notice them come in.

I don't look at Deimos. I am scared to see his reaction. As soon as Gia sees Giovanni she leans her body towards him and I place her in his open arms. I don't look at Giovanni as well, I don't know what to say. Am I erasing her memories with Luna Bella and engraving mine?

"Thank you for taking care of her, Luna Lumina. Your car is waiting outside to take you home." Giovanni says softly with a bow and I nod with a smile.

I finally look at Deimos but he looks at the ground, eyes frowning and jaw clenched. What kind of reaction is this? Is this all you will show me?

I walk past the two males without saying another word. I was fuming. First, he blocks his thoughts from me then he acts like he is annoyed! Is that how the idea of pups makes him feel? Striding quickly towards the pack gates, I find Elriam waving at me with Ragon next to her.

"I will ride with you, Elriam." I say quickly getting into her car and slamming the car door. Elriam and Ragon exchange a knowing look and Ragon walks to the car behind us.

It's not like I am asking much. Or am I? I want to be selfish. I want us to be like normal mates, though I know it's impossible with who we are but we can try for some things. Together. Like a family.

I don't move my eyes from the window as Elriam sits next to me and the driver starts the car. The ride back home was quiet and Elriam doesn't ask me anything giving me my space. Are Deimos and Ragon discussing this? Well, it will be in my favor as I know how supportive Ragon is.

As soon as the gates of our house open and the driver parks the car. I open the car door walking as fast as possible to our villa.

"Lumina!" Deimos calls out to me but I pay that male no heed. I am not interested just like he isn't. I keep walking around the fountain, through the back porch, and into our villa with Deimos hot on my trail.

I head into our bedroom whilst he enters and shuts the door behind him as I sit on the vanity chair removing my earrings. A quiet sigh leaves his lips as he walks softly towards me reaching for my eyes through the mirror.

"Why are you upset with me, my female?" He asks gently.

"Why did you block your mind from me?" I ask him as he flinches to my question. I have caught him off guard. He remains quiet. I feel another barrier standing tall between us. Another I need to break down.

"Lumina." He pleads. He doesn't want me to ask him that. Why? Fine I shall strike the next arrow.

"Why did you react that way when Gia called me mamma?" I poke him with another question. My attacks ruthlessly aimed for a direct hit. He looks away from me. Ah, that's all the answer I need from him.

"Why are you making this a big deal, mate? You are looking too deep into every action of mine. They don't hold any mea-" He dodges the fire with a watery answer and I cut him off.

"I want a pup." Is all I say looking straight into his eyes as his eyes widen. My head held high I analyze his reaction to my words.

"W-What?" He asks.

"I have had this burning desire even before I met you. But it has grown with each passing day and I cannot hold it anymore." I say getting up. "Deimos. I want to start a family." I say enunciating each word clearly. Holding my breath, I wait for his answer.

He takes a step back taking a deep breath in. "We are not ready, Lumina." He says. I am not taken back. I expected it. I know him now.

"We are, my male. I can see it. I... I can feel it." I close the space between us.

"I am happy with just you, mate." He speaks his truth.

"We can become much happier. I really want to be a mother." I say softly.

"Where is this suddenly coming from? Is this because you spend a lot of time with Gia? Is it because she called you mamma? Lumina, we just mated yesterday. Why does it feel like we are always rushing?" He asks confused. Fingers sliding through his hair, frustrated. He cannot understand.

"We are not rushing. We have been together for years! If we had a pup when we met it would have grown to become as Gia now! I cannot stand waiting anymore." I say as my lips quiver. Tears held back.

"I understand, my female. But you won't understand or even like the reason as to why we are not ready." He says.

"Tell me! I will try if it means I could have a pup with you-" A sob leaves my lips but I continue. "I will try for us."

"I cannot, my female. Forgive, me." He says and I look away, my palm wiping tears that roll down my cheeks. He moves towards me to comfort his weeping female but I shake my head and move away from his touch.

"Y-You always do this and expect me to always listen and abide." I sniff, a hiccup escapes my lips.

"I am doing this for us, Lumina. I don't want to let go of this happiness we tried hard to build." He whispers. I don't say another word turning away from him looking out the window.

I feel the heat of his body on my back, his palms holding my biceps, and his soft lips at the back of my head.

"Please trust my words, Lumina. We are not ready." He whispers, tone pleading and with one last lingering kiss, he leaves the room as tears fall freely down my face.

A/N

Hello babes,

Don't hate Deimos. Look into his past, remember his fears and try to understand him. This chapter was really sad, Gio earned closure and Lumina earned pain. Remember relationships are not easy. You need to understand each other and not blame.

Don't forget to

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Happy reading,

Liz