Director’s Notes: 231 – The Terminal (Patreon)

I travel a lot, and a big chunk of that has been for Night Vale touring. A few years back I tried to remember every single airport I’ve ever been to. I don’t know exactly, but it’s at least 80 different airports worldwide. And I have strong opinions on all of these fuckers.

I primarily fly Delta because of their hubs in Laguardia and JFK, so my opinions on airports can be strongly affected by that affiliation. Basically, Delta’s gonna have nicer terminals and easier accessibility in places like Atlanta and Detroit, and worse placement in, say, Houston or Chicago.

Here’s a top 5/bottom 5 airports from my experiences. The Best:

1. Dallas Love Field – only knock on this place is you have to take a shuttle to the car rental. But otherwise, it’s a small airport, near the city, with great restaurants and an easy-going vibe.

2. Detroit – love those adorable indoor trains, as well as the subterranean light show. It’s clean and easy.

3. London City – Easy in, easy out. The security lines can be a pain, though. But I love how close it is to East London.

4. Honolulu – Indoor/Outdoor facility. It’s such a pleasure to arrive in paradise and get to immediately experience the sunshine.

5. Albany – Just like Love Field, but in a way less interesting city. The restaurants aren’t as great, but the rental cars are in the building! Plus this place is never that crowded. Just a positive experience all around.

The Worst:

1. Miami – Atlanta and JFK get knocked for being too big and requiring a lot of walking. But holy cow this place takes forever to work your way into and out of.

2. Denver – Cool murals in the baggage claim, but this thing feels like it’s in Wyoming. It’s a really long drive from there to Boulder. (Of course, Denver Airport has some incredible history and conspiracy theories)

3. SEATAC – Overcrowded, difficult to navigate through. Old and a bit messy. The rental car place is a long shuttle ride, and the shuttle drop off is at the far end of the building. Too much walking

4. DFW – Being from Dallas, I’ve gotten used to this place, and knowing your way around it makes a huge difference. But if you’ve not been there before the signage is crazy confusing. Also, in an effort to make this place equidistant from Fort Worth and Dallas, they made it close to nothing.

5. Laguardia – New York City has the largest public train system in the United States, yet not a single one goes to this airport. It’s always under construction, and it’s way overcrowded. But to be fair, the flights in and out of LGA usually offers a stunning view of Manhattan

Airports are fascinating places to me. There’s such a wild array of human emotions: excitement, frustration, anxiety, boredom, love, and sadness. I’m not the hugest fan of flying, but I love airports themselves. I like to sit by any window that offers views of takeoffs and landings. I enjoy having time to have a shitty/expensive drink, and to people-watch.

And with a vacation coming up later this month, I’ve got airports on my mind, so why not have a look at the Randy Newman Memorial Night Vale Airport. It’s been a while since we had a peek into that place, and late summer as good a time as any for a revisit.

Jeffrey Cranor, August 1, 2023