Sub Rosa (free version) (Patreon)

It’s weird that we haven’t really made advancements in the technology we use to control our televisions since the 1980s. Just a blackish-grey rectangle that blinks an infrared bulb in what’s basically Morse code to tell your TV (be it a curved, 3D, 8K flatscreen or a standard definition cement block) to turn the volume up or down.

I guess they’ve added the ability to press a button and speak into your remote. I use the word “ability” very loosely here. I’m not sure if this is a universal experience, but for me it’s a shocking and rare occurrence when that microphone picks up “Vanessa Hudgens… sneakernight… YouTube” correctly on the first try. Maybe I just have a really bad voice for that tech. Or maybe Vanessa has been shadowbanned by the tech world for… uh… actually, I don’t know enough about Ms. Hudgens to come up with a realistic hypothetical here. She’s spreading a rumor that Tim Cook “changed his mind” and he’s straight now? Sure. Let’s go with that.

So, what’s my point? Basically, all we want to do is watch Sneakernight. And it should come easily when I hear the “beep”.