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Last Nights Family Meeting. (Patreon)

Published:
2023-06-21 14:41:19
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

For those of you who missed it. Enjoy.

Can white people watch this? Is a question I am anticipating. Here is MY answer. IF you have to ask, then maybe you shouldn't. If you choose to watch this anyway do not engage in the comments. There will be a follow up meeting about how to be an effective ally coming down the pipeline.

Files

Previews only

Black Family Meeting

IF you missed the conversation this was our black family meeting.

Comments

Brandon Powers

I can see both sides. I am in a interracial relationship and sometimes it does hurt for black people to tell me that I am anti-black for not dating a black person, but I understand why they might make that assumption because we do see a lot of black men bash our own race especially when their partner is white. There's no relationship that anyone can have that would make everyone happy nor is it your job to justify or prove your love. Only you know your heart.

Anonymous

This isn’t true. People def hold rappers accountable. Maybe not the people you are around. Not a dig but in my social circle these conversations usually revolve around rappers and sports players.

Anonymous

Also. I was raised to that black people are kings and queens. What’s wrong wit that? Why is having pride in who you are considered a joke or you being “Fake woke”/homohotep??

Anonymous

As someone who’s dated inside and outside my race but still loves my blackness. It’s so exhausting. I feel like being black your existence is politicised without you trying or wanting it to. And trying to politicise who I can love and be seen with is so difficult and not a fight I can carry. I can’t also make my love life a part of my political identity. I just don’t have the capacity for that. If I’m loved, welcomed and celebrated imma take that and embrace regardless of what package it comes in. And it’ll never negate the love I have for being black.

Anonymous

I am really disappointed in how this was handled and even the tone Bob has used replying to comments on Twitter and Patreon, people who actually pay subscriptions to support Bob, Bob’s partners/household, Monet and team. There was NO care here. Simply deflection, misinformation and dangerous rhetoric cloaked in jokes. I wish Bob used some of the same energy towards these white fans who continue to mistreat and disrespect Black queens on DragRace™️. As a fan and Black gay man, I never cared Bob had white partners. We all know, watch every week and, clearly, see. I do care how you center and protect whiteness.

EdHead

Even if they say ‘the men i’ve dated’ are they not still using that as a reason to then generalise/justify dating white men over black men in general? So it is still generalising…

Anonymous

This conversation obviously started in bad faith, so its hard to take serious, but the pattern does exist. Some people look at it as purely coincidental and others see an intentional positioning. It feels like both sides are speaking completely different languages. Some people do make a choice to only date white. Everything isn’t organic.

Anonymous
>>111244824

STOP! Your making too much sense for these girls to comprehend I fear.

siblingrivalrypodcast
>>111237315

there is nothing wrong with feeling like a king/ queen/ royalty. "we was kings" as a trope said by hoteps isn't about it being untrue. people just ankowledge that it's a trope. I think having pride in yourself and your heritage is very important.

siblingrivalrypodcast
>>111243650

serious question. This felt like simple deflection, misinformation, and dangerous rhetoric? You didn't see anything else in there? Of all the people in the room sharing their thoughts. that's what you gathered from it?

siblingrivalrypodcast
>>111240467

marginalized people don't get to opt out of having our meet existence politicized and I don't think that's fair, but life isn't fair. People are allowed to criticize anyone they want. and people are allowed to critique their critiques. it's a loop that I believe slowly evolves into universal morality, but it's a long journey.

Anonymous
>>111243650

Sounds more like a reduction than a serious question. To answer, since you want to keep it to this tiny snapshot in time and not acknowledge your overall actions and documented mistreatment of Paterons, fans, and Black gay men, I did watch. As a subscriber, I watch and jump on Zooms. So yes, I saw. My thoughts have not changed, yet confirmed again.

Sonia Dawson

Well, wow. Y’all are some soldiers for attempting to have this dialogue. First, I nominate Chissy for president of Black America. Second, I am sitting here with pen, paper and at least 4 reference texts to address some of the things I heard on this call. I heard pain and suffering. I heard ignorance. I heard lone voices trying their hardest to awaken unconscious minds. I definitely agree that this was important to discuss just between “us”. And even “us” were confused! Imagine if the audience was broader. I truly need to collect my thoughts before I can comment further. One thing is for sure: “imperialist white supremacist heteropatriarchy” has really done a number on us all, to quote bell hooks. And by us all, I mean humanity. Undoing the effects of these interlocking systems of oppression will not be easy, but without creating spaces where it can be called out head on, I don’t see how we can be roused from our mental graves.

Anonymous
>>111240467

It’s exhausting and heavy burden to carry on that long journey. When it’s something as simple as wanting to be loved, I don’t want to think about an external message I’m putting out, I just want to be loved in its purest form.

Lee Bolt

lmao, WAIT I thought @Honest was gonna leave? Meanwhile they're still here big-upping any comment that tries to drag Bob. Y'all really pay $5 a month just to keep up on what someone you clearly don't like has to say. I am HOLLERING.

JO

I just don’t understand why Bob has to apologize or be ashamed of dating a white person. Yeah it sucks that we don’t see representation in these relationships, but ultimately we can’t force anyone to date anyone. I just don’t see what going so hard at Bob is gonna accomplish. What’s the end goal? Then dumping Jacob? What do all the upset ppl gain from arguing w/ someone they don’t know about who they sleep with. I don’t have the full story about the whole being called nigga in the bedroom thing but I’ve seen that floating around. I’m giving my opinion outside of that incident bc I haven’t heard the clip myself.

JO
>>111265542

I would tell y’all to go to hell too if a bunch of strangers told me I was wrong for dating my man. My man is black tho lol no shade 🤎

Anonymous
>>111264656

I already canceled my membership but I paid for the month already so I’m gonna stay and drag it for as long as I want to up until then. Some of y’all idolize celebrity to an insane degree and really are just not smart.

Alex

Not King of reads out the gate "All lives mattering" trans Black women out the gate. As a cis Black woman, I've experienced violence at the hands of Black men. In recent years when I started dating again, I noticed I felt anxious when interacting with Black men on dating apps. After taking a minute to reflect on it, I realized I was experiencing misogynoir/abusive language from Black men on dating apps. It's no secret that Black men have internalized self-hatred that they take out on Black femmes. Do I know wonderful Black men? Absolutely, my father, brother, uncle's, and cousins are wonderful thoughtful Black men. Two things can be true. Further, just because the black men in my life that I love, I have never perpetrated such violence against me, it doesn’t mean that they are exempt, because misogynoir is systemic and at times insidious.

Zhamir S.

Making Bob the escape goat, trying to drag someone, and wanting them to be made an example of is very telling, people seem to be missing that. The conversation that was brought up in poor taste was intended to drag under the guise of bringing light. You can't say certain things n expect someone not to feel defensive. This is a systemic issue, Bob ain't bouta single handely fix it himself but just him providing space to TALK about this is telling for her character. Twitter prob not the space for that. The conversation was better on patreon. Also, if you've been a fan, you know Bob's activism and involvement for black and queer people. This is why there's nuances to the conversation. Plot got lost before it even started.

Candycanez21

From what I’ve seen, and I think some people did a poor job of expressing their concerns on Twitter and some people took this opportunity for discourse to be nasty, is that people at minimum wanted acknowledgement from Bob that a pattern does exist. From the information we have access to of the black Drag Race girls, they do appear to be only dating white men or non black and I think anytime that pattern makes itself apparent it deserves some examination, maybe not on a personal level but definitely as a whole. I’m not aware of any space where black people have a shared commonality and everyone has opted out of black relationships, whether it just so happens to be all at the same time or exclusively, and there not be an underlying issue or something going on. I don’t think Bob hates black men (queer at least) and black relationships and is actively trying to avoid them, or has to be the shining example of black love, but I do believe perhaps the acknowledgment of I could see why this pattern could be of concern would have went a long way. I love both Bob and Monet (team Monetion) and wish them the best ❤️

Antony Ware

Bob you don’t have the responsibility to speak on behalf of all black people that date white people, or APOLOGIZE about who you lay with at night! That is beyond ridiculous to even entertain the notion to do either. Who you are laying with had nothing to do with your individual successes or the empire that you are still creating. The issue is just that today, the internet trolls feels they have a right to not only comment on, but be within the lives of others to the point where they feel they can dictate what should or shouldn’t happen…in someone else’s life… that they DON’T KNOW! Live your life happily and stop giving in to these people that don’t know you, don’t know God’s plan for you, or don’t know the work you do for our community all the time! Anyone coming to attack you for who you love in any capacity is not someone who should be a reflection of your spirit or worth.

Shola Amusa

Wish I could’ve joined in, but I think the solution is to be the thing you wanna see. We’re in the early stages of gay history, and as gay black men, we kinda have to make our own representation and go out and live our lives. We can’t wait for other people to do that. We have to be the representation because we are kinda the first of our kind in a way. Idk if this made sense, but that’s my two cents.

Leslie Mej

not kingofreads giving a resume breakdown of themselves and their friend

bo

i really am disappointed as a black fan. just in the way you have responses to other black people on twitter spaces shows a lack of care. and choosing to publically associate yourself and double down on Race play being fine is a very odd hill to choose.

toy_soldier32

There’s a a part of me that does wonder why poc have a relationship with white people other than to gain some type of success or comfort knowing that the white man can protect u. Why would we date a white person when they have each other way more than all of us in America. But then there’s a bigger part that say who gives af date who u find attractive and live ur life. I definitely see what they see in todrick he gives off u have to be white or light skin to deal with him but he can be friends with darker skin if their famous( bob monet) Ilived in the suburbs I’ve seen a lot of people like him. . Then there’s people like shea and lux that I ASSUME just wasn’t treated as well with their own and was more appreciated from white guys that definitely makes sense with me. Idk how bob and Monet got pulled in it Monet been getting black dick since middle school and she use to mess with them ima kill u if u tell type nighas. Ultimately this subject will never change atleast for another 100 years so I guess it’s just fun to chat about it.

Nsikan Udoh

Come on Homo Hotep 🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous

Also I need to come back and laugh at king of reads. If he really had the range he spoke of he and thought everything was surface level… why wouldn’t he (as someone who claims they have the range) facilitate the conversation to become less surface level? That elitest, classist view of knowledge also holds us back and whose words we value is TRULY holding us back. Because people are not quoting Frantz Fanon, Audre Lorde and bell hooks up the wall doesn’t mean peoples experiences and ideas are invalid. it’s such an arrogant , self important way of trying to have a conversation

Kataughn

We definitely do talk about rappers/ cis het black men dating white women. Kanye said it best "when he get on he leave yo ass for a white girl"

Nicolas Leiva Herrera

I'm latin, mixed with south american native, not really my place to talk but I just want to say that I love Bob and Jacob and love Monet and Andy. Couples goals! <3

Christian

My 2 cents: of these people criticizing black femme and trans queer people for dating white people, how many of *them* date femme or trans people? This is like men having opinions about abortion.

uirgso

Thank you Chissy (sp?) for making concise and direct points that moved the conversation forward.

uirgso

You know whose opinion we really needed in this meeting? Lady Gaga’s.

Frank Sabala
>>111480207

I’m not black but I am Latinx and I watched the meeting just to get a better understanding and I gotta say… the way Chissy handled that man… wow, she didn’t use anger, didn’t resort to anything petty and was very eloquent and polite in her response. So much admiration for Chissy.. I can’t wait for the ally talk coming up because I have a lot to learn to be an ally for everyone here. Thanks again to Chissy, Bob and everyone else in this discussion (except for that dude obsessed with Gaga) that enlightened me today.

uirgso
>>111480207

We need Chissy & her eloguence and credentials in every family meeting.