Boruto 17-18 Edited Reaction (Patreon)

I'm pretty sure this is canon:

12 years ago give or take, Sasuke Uchiha was on a highly classified undercover mission in service of the leaf village (it was actually not that important or classified, but let's face it, any mission Sasuke Uchiha is on immediately becomes a matter of life-or-death. It's probably the hair). In any case, he had just made his way to a questionable looking inn in the land of stone - he was tired, he was filthy (but still looking damn good!), he hadn't eaten in a week, and to sum it all up, he was fucking irritated (but let's face it, he almost always is, and if by any chance he isn't, he's probably pretending to be irritated so you would have a hard time telling the difference. Sometimes neither can he). 

A hawk landed on his shoulder.

Sasuke untied the letter with one hand and a lot of grace.

Sasuke-kun, it read,

Love of my life,

Star of my skies,

Soul of my body,

Congratulation! You are a FATHER!!! I just gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl!!!! She never cries, she only looks kind of angry. She has your eyes, and I'm pretty sure she inherited your Sharingan!! What do you think we should name her?

XOXOXO

Hugs and kisses,

Rainbows and kittens,

Flowers and cherry tomatoes,

and anything else that is pink and fluffy

and that you would die before admitting to cherish

in that stone-cold, super-hot heart of yours,

forever and always,

your loving, adoring, idolizing, worshipping, revering wife,

Sakura Uchiha<3<3<3

Sasuke Uchiha stared. He made absolutely no expression for 5 minutes straight. Then he blinked, and asked the barkeep for a pen and paper.

This is the letter Sakura received approximately 3 days later:

We already talked about this (This was a lie. They haven't talked in exactly 10 months and 6 days, and before that it had been very brief and consisted of mostly grunting).

Don't address me by name.

Don't sign YOUR name.

And for the love of god, stop using all those endearments - do you WANT people to go after you just because you're my wife?

In fact, as far as anyone's concerned, I don't HAVE a wife.

My name is NOT Sasuke.

And it's DEFINITELY not Uchiha, the last, currently sole possessor of the only rinnegan in existence.

In fact, I'm not even a ninja, or undercover, or anything suspicious in the least. I'm merely a weary traveler, trying to enjoy my salad in peace.

"He's extremely touched," Sakura told Ino triumphantly, waving the paper. "He can't stop thinking about us. He can't believe he's a father."

Ino raised an eyebrow.

"He doesn't know how to express his feelings," Sakura explained. She pointed at the smudged ink. "See here? I'm almost 99.5% sure "salad" is a codeword for love."

From that day on, Sakura kept the letter folded up under her pillow and would look at it fondly whenever she went to bed after a long day. Whenever she did, her baby daughter would frown disapprovingly. She really DID have her father's eyes. 

And this is the story of how Sarada got her name.

The end.