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Ok, so this is something l often observe in men. When you're touching a partner, especially her clitoris, a lot of your attention isn't on the sensation or the connection. 👀 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-01-07 14:54:02
Imported:
2026-06
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Raymond

I dont ever get frustrated, because I realize that it can be such a psychological thing for her to have an orgasm. I like to be curious when I am touching her and feeling her energy I listen for her responses right from tha start , because in my experience what worked yesterday might not work today and realizing the anatomy of arousal, I want her to be fully engaged and ready for the experience, before it happens. When I engage with her clitoris. I had a girlfriend that really loved to make out simply kissing for 20 or 30 minutes or more before doinganything, which is amazing too. touching , kissing licking I am learning what it is that feels the best in every way. I love the journey of making her excited and happy to giving her mind blowing orgasms. I like to find that special spot with my tongue , the right amount of pressure the right motion, whether it is up and down or side to side . I listen for cues like a certain heavier breathing , moaning or how she speaks, that oh god yes that's it , right there oh my god that feels good , or amazing Raymond, dont stop and just sit in that energy and lick her clit and let her feel the bliss and have that beautiful orgasm and keep going and give her another orgasm. My goal is to open up her flower as many times as I can so that she can truely feel loved . Honestly there is nothing I love more than giving my partner the most heavenly experience that she may have and then when it is apparent that she is ready for me to enter her we are so connected that we are both in that energy that nothing else matters, sitting in euphoria that defines a tantra or kundalini energy 🙏🏼 Thank you Caitlin V 🥰

Philfry41

Holy cow. That’s a great question and I’ve never reflected on how it feels when that happens. Dunno why. It does feel like failure and maybe I do shut down a bit or focus more on performance. Just asking the question here will help because it will create space to discuss it with my wife 😎

Paul McCrone

By the way, great picture of you, Caitlin!

Feisty_Achievement

The first time was scary. Am I doing it correctly? Am I being present enough/reading her signs correctly? Do I like doing this or Am I doing this just for her? It took a while for my partner to finally relax enough to enjoy playing. But, the one thing I enjoyed was she was open enough to communicate slight adjustments in her pleasure. Her reassuring me overtime that yes it felt very good. That also made me feel safe enough to enjoy giving her pleasure and her direction. Yet, the pressure of having to know how to perform. The pressure on your partner.... do I have to teach them? Do I want to teach them? I try to stay curious and explore until one of us communicates differently. But, to be honest it's a little disheartening when my partner doesn't communicate. But, I like to keep an open mind and ask them afterwards. Okay. What did you like? What can we change? I throughly enjoy playing and giving a partner pleasure. Their pleasure brings me pleasure.

John Freeman

Love the way you’re smiling. Touching her clit is something she doesn’t want me to touch with hand or mouth. It’s always made her uncomfortable. Can’t even bring in a toy either. I’ve accepted that. Anything oral has been off the table. I feel we’re missing out. Something I need but can’t get or provide.

Marek

I am usually patient and try different techniques to see if they work better in that situation. Unless she doesn't want me to continue which is also fine, then I just move to something else.

William

Men are like a Cocker Spaniel...loveable and loyal, cuddly and warm but sometimes a little bit slow and clumsy 😅

Barry Shafer

I just want to make it feel even better for her! 🕊️🫶

AndrewA

My wife used to cum from literally nothing when I stimulated her clit. O after O for her. But now after menopause, things are different. She cums almost instantly and constantly during PIV sex and that's just great. But I really miss being able to make her cum from oral. I was the best at it for over 20 years, but the last year or two, things aren't really working anymore. So I feel like I'm failing, I feel like I might be doing things not the same as I used to, I feel like I need to do something different, but I don't know what to do anymore. We've had great convo about it too, and she doesn't know either. I ask her to tell me what to do, but she doesn't have the language to assist me. So I just make love to her pussy with my mouth and I get really into it, and she loves it, it does feel good and gets her more ready for sex. I've given up on the "mission" to make her cum with my mouth and just give her my great oral skills and its fine. But damn I wanna make her cum with my mouth! sometimes it works but its not regular, usually when I ask her to straddle my face or I do it in a different position.

Mark Buchanan

Interesting question. This is a much longer answer than you are looking for and does deal with your question, but I am excited by some recent success due to your videos and blogs. I absolutely love going down on a woman and am good at it. A Bi girl said I was next best thing to a woman going down. Hard to tell if she meant it or not. My girlfriend loves my oral and after seven years, we are very much in tune. Previous women were the same, it was hard to break up with them because some wanted to hang around just for that. I think after the first few sessions with anyone new, I am concentrating on her response and adjusting to make it better. I also tell them up front that I take direction and to tell me what they like. They never do, except when I do it so long she gets sore. After we are tuned in, I do focus on the taste, the feeling on my tongue, the feel of her orgasm both on my tongue and how her body moves when cumming. It turns me on to no end. After watching many of your videos over the last year, I am upping my game. With my current long term girlfriend I have been taking your advice and introducing longer foreplay before getting my hands or head down there. It really doesn’t take that much to get her going, but now I am making her wait and extending the time before touching her clit or inserting a finger. Just lightly running my hands over her body, starting with light kissing, and as she responds our kissing gets deeper and more passionate. She is a great kisser and has the longest tongue I have ever experienced. Eventually as I run my hands up her legs I start to circle closer to her pussy and taking her nipples in her mouth. She can almost cum from me nibbling on her left breast. When she starts moving her hand toward her pussy to masturbate, I grab it and don’t let her. All of this takes about 20, maybe 30 minutes before I move to the promised land. Once I do touch her pussy she is ready to explode and will sometimes squirt at the first touch. I had mentioned to you before that she has lost interest in sex due to menopause and for an unknown reason refuses to do HRT. I do testosterone every week, so I don’t quite get it. She is 66 and I’m 69. However, since I have been upping my game of foreplay, we seem to be having sex more often. She normally has small orgasms while I eat her, some with squirting, some not. We get to her big screaming (and I do mean screaming!!!) orgasms with a toy assist, the Tracy’s Dog OG-2. Since I got that for her, she is not interested in any other toy. She starts with that while kiss her and suck on her nipples. When she starts to really get going, I rim her or finger he ass. She had never been rimmed before me and she loves it done just before she cums. It puts her over the edge. Trying to convince her that full on anal is amazing, but she is not buying it. She has had it done wrong in the past with pain and it put her off. Neither one of us are physically capable of truly fucking with her bad hips and our fat belly’s. We are doing Ozempic to fix that. Where we can get real fucking done is in the pool where water and floats provide support, so can’t wait for summer!