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I've been thinking a lot lately about this Reddit comment I read from a woman: "By myself? 5 minutes. With him? Almost never." 👀 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-03-02 16:52:06
Imported:
2026-06

Comments

Photoguy77

I want to know why my wife never masterbates and refuses to use toys.

Eli Israel

Really understanding what makes her feel comfortable and safe, and seeing how different it can be for what it takes for me. And knowing how to navigate and translate between the two. We see our own work stress, our own performance anxiety, our own self-doubt. But, for some reason, we forget that she has her own. So many women have admitted to me, when they are comfortable being open about it, that they spend the vast majority of their time worrying -- just like we men do. Worrying about how they are perceived. About how they are imperfect in a world that seems to constantly demand perfection. And how often they feel dirty and ashamed for wanting basic, human things. These are the things that unlocked wisdom for me. She is in a mirror world to mine. It's not the same, but it rhymes. And if I can see it, and show her how she is seen and safe with me, I can be seen and safe with her.

Higgybaby

Hi there Kaitlin and team, what a wonderful post! I’m not sure I have a enough context for the the ‘almost never’ quote. Is this touching herself?

Chad G

It used to be not knowing her fantasies and not getting her blocks removed but was adding more guessing what she wanted. Finding blueprints made it so easy to start hitting her sensory needs. She was able to fully relax and was so much more aroused. Kink and spanking gave something new that was never done before because I didn't ask and like so many women she was afraid to say. Learning how to be safe to talk with and help remove blocks like dishes, housework, kid needs, or shower. She's now on fire when those are meet. Still find hotels give the best relaxation and removalof blocks

Caitlin V
>>204720751

Great question! If you feel safe asking her, I’d love for you to share what you learn (with her permission of course). I did a YT video about this but I’m at the post office rn and I can’t find it 🤓

Grouchy Vince

Kind of reverse for me: was only with 2 women in life for relative short times. They had a grand old time while I barely orgasmed at a 1/4 of their rate. Chalk it up to inexperience, fear of pregnancy (no condoms). Outside of their personal vibrators, neither where into "toys".

Marek

Interesting question. I think the most important part is relaxing, getting in the mood and out of our heads. I actually find it harder to orgasm myself then to make her orgasm. I've been dealing with delayed ejaculation for a while now and it's getting better but sometimes it feels like three steps forward, two steps back. Discovering the erotic blueprints was a huge gamechanger for me as well. It allowed my to understand my needs, the needs of my partner and how to combine the two to create an experience that we both enjoy.