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GILMORE GIRLS 01X18 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-04-09 12:00:21
Imported:
2026-09

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  • 642802901.mp4

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Kyra Podmore

My favourite part of the day!🤍

Alicia

I remember relating to this so much because my great grandmother was a monster but we all availed ourselves and bowed to her bullshit. My favorite thing about being an adult and raising a kid now is that respect is earned and not given due to age.

Sarah Jackson

When you said “well I guess you kinda have to be a good person to be a good partner” dark romance readers be like: 🤭🤭🙃

Sarah Doty

My take on why Emily struggles so much to show emotion to Loralie is multi layered. At it's base i think it is because Emily is very much the product of her environment. Emily grew up in the same world and type of home that she and Richard live in now. A world that stresses achievement, propriety, tradition, social standings, very rigid social and familial roles and hierarchies, appearing infallible, and "not embarrassing the family name" over showing warmth, comfort or vulnerability for loved ones. I think it is very fair to intuit that Emily was not shown much grace, comfort, vulnerability, or softness in her younger years either. The only thing Emily would have been taught from her mother was about how to be the "perfect" wife, mother and "lady of the house" according to high society. The rigidity and height of those demands (impossible really) would not leave room for anything that would be deemed as a weakness. Emily also has a very limited world view and experience, she has always been surrounded by the same type of people, gone to the same type of places, done things the same way, etc. With all of this being considered, I don't think Emily knows what a loving, kind, and warm mother actually looks or feels like. I also think it is understated in the show's dialogue just how much Loralie leaving with Rory broke Emily's heart. We heard about it some but I think there are parts of Emily that have not been able to fully forgive Loralie for the level of pain that decision caused. With this in mind, and the fact that she IS more easily able to express love and warmth with Rory, I believe it is also partially a coping mechanism and trauma response to keep Loralie at a distance, even when desiring closeness, and holding on to a lot of pain and resentment. We saw that Richard still is holding on to some of that as well. Lastly, I think Loralie actually does carry some responsibility for this. We have seen Emily try (not always with the right method or words, but a genuine try) for it to not be received or acknowledged as the attempt it was. That would hardly encourage Emily, already prideful, chilly and distant to keep trying. Loralie can be a quite reactive personality, and if she was able to temper that enough to get to what Emily is actually trying to communicate in those moments, I think their overall communication would be much better.

Yasemin

The "Louie" comment was in reference to the movie "Casablanca".

Yasemin

Yes, there is something sweet about seeing all 3 generations of the Gilmore Girls doing stuff together.

Yasemin

You are right, it also always pisses me off that Richard doesn't interfere when his wife is being mistreated by his mother.

Elizabeth

I agree that Lorelai can misjudge Emily’s intentions and be too reactive but that is also is a trauma response to how she was raised. So, it kind of creates a vicious cycle. It will take both Lorelai and Emily becoming more self aware to actually improve it.

Sarah Doty

Fully agree, both need to work on their communication skills and both need to learn to extend grace to the other. I only mentioned it the one way because I was referring to specifically the times Emily did try to reach out and make an effort.

Naomi Bronner

It always bothers me that people are so quick to explain and justify Emily's horrible treatment of Lorelai based on how she was raised, and yet have no empathy for Lorelai for reacting negatively to her mom after growing up with nothing but her constant criticism and insults. I'm sorry, but I do think it's way more Emily's fault than Lorelai's that their relationship is like this. If you treat a kid like shit their whole childhood, it's insane to expect them to always be the reasonable one as an adult. And it's not like Emily has stopped constantly criticizing Lorelai for everything. She wants to rebuild her relationship with her kid, but she's not willing to work on herself or change her behavior at all. And Lorelai is supposed to just take it and feel like shit all the time, just so that Emily won't feel bad? That's really unfair.

Sarah Doty

I think you may have misunderstood my comment, which was not a defense of Emily's bad behavior or me siding against Loralie; but answering a prompted question about Emily specifically, and her perspective/struggles surrounding showing Loralie any type of vulnerability or open affection. Of course Emily needs to do a lot of work on herself. I also have a lot of empathy for Loralie, and often side with her. The things Emily does wrong and needs to work on could fill a whole novel. That just feels like a separate conversation from the prompted question I was responding to.

Kmuk

Lorelei the first is a real beast! Horrible woran and that Richard not standing up is cowardly. Honestly you dont have to be rude to Tell someone to stop! As my father always says, you can disagree but be respectful. This way the other Party is hopefully more likely to Listen and even when you come to the conclusion: we agree to disagree, it doesnt has to be World war 3.

Naomi Bronner

Fair enough. I'm sorry for misunderstanding you, that's on me. People on the internet (not you, but in general) are super critical of Lorelai while framing Emily as a strict but loving parent who just wants to help even if she's a little bit set in her ways, and then turn around and portray Lorelai as an ungrateful brat for ever taking issue with her mother's behavior. And that narrative really bothers me because of how much it ignores all of the many many ways that Emily has hurt Lorelai. I get that that's not at all the point you were trying to make, and I shouldn't have assumed it was. That said, I do disagree with your final point, that Lorelai isn't receptive to Emily's genuine attempts to improve their relationship. Even by this point in the show, we've seen several examples of Lorelai being extremely receptive to both her parents' attempts to make inroads with her, only for them to blow everything up. In "Rory's Birthday Parties", Lorelai is really excited that her mom is trying to take her and Rory's tastes into account with the pudding and the birthday presents, and so she agrees to go shopping with her mom and even gushes about it to Rory after the fact. But then when the party doesn't go Emily's way (because Emily didn't bother to ask Rory what she wanted) she becomes immediately critical and mean and unfair to both her daughter and granddaughter. She actually blames Lorelai for Rory being rude to her, even though Lorelai had nothing to do with it and was being perfectly cordial and polite to everyone involved. Similarly, in "Rory's Dance", Lorelai is initially wary, but eventually accepts her mother's attempts to take care of her, and they have a nice time together. But then, in the morning, when Rory goes missing, Emily blows up at Lorelai and starts yelling about how Lorelai ruined everything etc. etc. Emily never apologizes for either of these incidents mind you. And in "Christopher Returns", When Richard defends her from Straub, Lorelai goes to her father to sincerely thank him for standing up for her, only for him to immediately dismiss her and tell her that he wasn't defending her, he was defending the family name. The point is, whenever either of her parents are willing to display any genuine kindness towards her, Lorelai is receptive, if a little bit wary of it. But who can blame her for being wary, given that in all these situations, Emily and Richard are very quick to turn on Lorelai when she tries to be receptive to their kindness. I'm not saying she has no faults in this relationship, but Emily and Richard are consistently way meaner to her than she is to them, and people expect her to just take it without complaint, which bothers me.

Sarah Doty

To clarify my final point because I could have worded it more clearly; it's not that Loralie is NEVER receptive to her parents attempts (we see that she is). It was that she does not always recognize them.

Wrai Vizner

Fun Fact: Liza Weil (Paris) auditioned for the role of Rory. They loved her, but she wasn't quite right for that part so they specifically wrote the role of Paris for her.

MsDebbie63

I just finished the book The Third Gilmore Girl written by and about Kelly Bishop aka Emily Gilmore. I didn’t connect the dots that she was the mom on Dirty Dancing!! 💃🏻

Lucy

When I first saw this episode all those years ago, I too was infuriated about Richard not standing up for Emily when his mum kept disrectpecting her 😡 like wtf dude grow a pair. Yes your mum will not like it, but mum or not that is so rude and Emily is your wife! I know he loves her but she still needs to be accountable, mind you he never really takes account for his mistakes so like mother like son I suppose. My husband can't stand this episode either, he can't stand it when my mum is rude or manipulative with me, and will say something, like I would if she said anything to him. I luckily don't have that problem with my in laws as they are amazing.

Tara Cabache

As you were reading the comments at the beginning, it hit me...Christopher and Lorelai are 32/33 at this point! Because I grew up watching the show, I always saw him as "way older" so thought he was just kind of a bad guy/dad. While I don't think that perspective was entirely inaccurate, now that I'm almost 32, I see how much his immaturity is a factor. There's this expectation that by your 30s you should have your life together. I think Chris is struggling to figure out what he even wants to do and who he wants to be. That doesn't excuse how he treats the girls, but does put his character in a different perspective to me now.