First Look: I liveblog the Odyssey (The Liveblogyssey) (Patreon)

I've been listening to and reading the Odyssey (Emily Wilson's translation) and I've been rambling a lot to my partner, so I thought I would also liveblog my first impressions! I read parts of the odyssey in high school and college but never the whole thing start to finish.

Athena spoils half the plot right off, I mean obviously I knew, but still. We start near the end of the story with Odysseus trapped on Calypso's island, Telemachus really upset that the suitors are EATING ALL THEIR SHEEP, and the beginning follows Telemachus around as he travels around to try to learn about his dad and if he's alive. Which we know he is so that takes a little of the tension out of it.

(Seriously, Telemachus is very fixated on the sheep thing. I get that it's a big source of food but maybe you should be a little more concerned about your mom fending off 108 suitors bud).

Athena is disguise goes to meet and accompany him, appearing as an older man, and this translation is very simple and accessible (though there are definitely moments of beautiful prose) and this sometimes leads to really awkward lines like Telemachus telling Athena is disguise "I will give you a precious, pretty treasure as a keepsake to mark our special friendship" which like. are you hitting on him Telemachus you just said you think he's fatherly.

Telemachus is going thru it though. so you can't help but feel bad for him. "My mother says I am his son, but I can't be sure [...} I wish I were the son of someone lucky, who can grow old at home, instead the most unlucky man alive is said to be my father." Like that one of the times you feel the connection going back thousand of years so fiercely, the idea of having no connection to your father because you've never met him and he doesn't even feel like your dad, just a story, and too bad you can't be the son of someone who's around.

Another super unintentionally funny from young Mac is "The poets are not to blame for how things are, Blame Zeus" which yeah, that sums up most of Greek myth doesn't it! (also very funny of Homer to be like "be nice to poets, they're cool". He also tells his own Mom to go back to the kitchen so he can assert to the suitors he's in charge and there's a man in this house so go away, but we are reading a story from 8th century BC so.

Anyway he goes around with Athena travelling and learning about his dad, and honestly, the Odyssey is so funny. Love the part where Nestor is like "oh if only Athena favored you as she did her father" and Telemachus is like “Yeah Athena’s not on my side” :/ and she's just. sitting there with him and says”hmm are you sure I think she maybe is probably"

(and then she's live "btw to gods don't control who lives and who dies TELEMACHUS (please ignore all the times we've killed people) and also! also! I think your dad should be grateful to go on a cool quest and be alive when he could have just died the second he left Troy, think about THAT!!!)

then she just randomly turns into a bird and leaves after ensuring Telemachus has good sleeping arrangements. Telemachus never reacts to this, everyone else is just like "omg Athena!!" he says nothing I assume he was just standing there in slackjawed shock for the next couple of hours and going over all the embarrassing things he said.

Also we get to see Helen! And I knew from earlier Greek studies that studies that people today acting like she was dumb just because she was hot and men found her attractive was misogynist nonsense. But now I get to be extra mad because the woman isn't just not dumb, she's really intelligent and observant!

Not only does she immediately figure out who Telemachus because she saw him when he was a newborn (how??) and relays the Trojan war she was the only one able to recognize odysseus even though he was in disguise and gave him intel, but most importantly she talks about "the day the Greeks marched off to troy, their minds fixated on war and violence. They made my face the cause that hounded them", just subtly calling the whole army out. She knows they didn't actually go to war for her. She knows she was just an excuse, and a weak one at that. She knows they wanted this war, they wanted this violence.

So yeah, Helen is smart as hell! Screw that "Everyone wanted Helen of Sparta I wanted someone a little smarter" shit from Epic, sexist nonsense, I'm glad that song was cut.

she also mentions that "Aphrodite made her go crazy" when she agreed to run off, which could be literally true (Aphrodite did tend to do that) or a clever way to protect her reputation after leaving her husband.

Helen also has drugs, which I imagine is a big reason everyone liked her. the total package. But uh, she also does drugs everyone's drinks without apparently telling them. With what sounds like superpowered magic weed or something, to make them mellow and calm and erase all depression. It says "Whoever drinks this mixture for the bowl will shed no tears that day not even if her mother or father should die" which uh actually seems kind of dangerous! But Telemachus is goin' thru it, so maybe he could use it. but apparently it doesn't work or take a long time to kick in because Telemachus gets upset and says things like "This makes it worse! Courage could not save my father's life!" and wants to go to bed. (PS she got the weed from Egypt, and it's nice that the story is very complementary about Egyptians, calling them the "healer's people").

And then we've finished Telemachus's depression session and get back to Penelope. THE SAGA CONTINUES IN PART 2.