First Look: Odyssey Liveblog Part 3 (Patreon)

We continue with the Odyssey!

Ino informs Odysseus of the basic fact that heavy clothes are hard to swim in (which you think he’d know as a guy who spends so much time at sea but I digress) and tells him to strip, then gives him a magic immortal veil to tie around his chest, though he’s gotta toss it back in the ocean the second he gets to shore. Odysseus, understandably, does not trust any god at this point and is pretty skeptical, but is eventually force to try to swim.

Poseidon is like “at last you are in pain” Dude, I think he’s been in pain well before this.

Odysseus finally crawls to shore, completely naked, and goes to sleep. Meanwhile, a princess called Nausicaa (not the one from the hit Miyazaki movie and manga, but her namesake. That sadly means she isn’t hanging out with giant bugs) is urged by Athena to wander down towards Odysseus.

Wanting him to make a good impression on Nausicaa, Athena turns Odysseus super hot and buff. I’m not kidding, it says she “poured attractiveness onto his shoulders”. I love that the gods can give you a makeover. She makes him look “bigger and sturdier” and makes “his hair grow curling tendrils like a hyacinth”.

Apparently she can’t give Odysseus clothes though, so he is forced to awkwardly “cover his manly parts” with a hunk of driftwood when he jumps out to speak to Nausicaa. He considers going to beg her help by kissing her knees, but decides that a naked man grabbing her knees would probably freak her out, good call. He gives this incredibly long speech about how beautiful she is that would probably freak most people out, but Nausicaa likes it. Thus, Odysseus is introduced to the king and queen.

Everyone loves Odysseus of course, and there’s a big party. Like all cool parties, there’s a poet there, and he tells this wild story about Ares and Aphrodite’s courtship I’ve either never heard or forgotten about:

Hephaestus suspected that Aphrodite was cheating on him, so he made chains so fine they were invisible and put them around the bed like spiderwebs, so then when Ares and Aphrodite slept together, they got all trapped.

Hephaestus hollered about it, wanting his dowry back (which…apparently the gods have dowries? What did Hephaestus use to pay them? Do the gods have currency? The only thing I think they could want is sacrifices, so maybe Hephaestus paid in that. Apparently sacrifices are transferable).

 So Poseidon, Hermes, and Apollo come to see, and Hermes is all “Hephaestus, who is lame and slow, has used his skill to catch the fastest sprinter.” Wow thanks Hermes love that backhanded complement.

And Apollo and Hermes also instantly become frat boys. Apollo is like “lol lol Hermes, my brother, would you like to sleep with golden Aphrodite in her bed even weighted down by mighty chains?

And Hermes responds “lol lol I would be bound three times as tight and let you gods and all your wives look on”. Which really makes it sounds like he’s just a kinky little bastard. Had bondage been invented yet in Ancient Greece? Probably. Maybe Hephaestus accidentally invented it. The true origin.

Poseidon is like ‘are you two twelve or something knock it off” and says “Hephaestus look I know Ares is stupid, but I promise he’ll pay you back the dowry, just let him go”

Hephaestus is like “hmmm I don’t know if I should”

Then Poseidon is like "look I will pay you back if he dodges his debt. Just let him go”.

Poseidon is a surprisingly devoted uncle! He will also go all out for his son later, so I guess “devoted to family” is his literal only good point.

So Hephaestus lets them go. And Aphrodite flounces off, completely unbothered, and just goes back to her island to get oil rubbed on her by beautiful girls (yes this is how they put it). hashtag flawless.

But the poet is not just content with this silly story! He starts singing about Troy and poor Odysseus is just sitting there quietly sobbing, pulling up his hood so no one can see him. He’s doing this for MULTIPLE SONGS and the king is right there and just sits uncomfortably for a while before FINALLY saying “hey y’all how about we give the lyre a rest and play sport or something.”

But I guess Ody enjoyed all that crying and really wants to do it again, because he actually ASKS the poet for a song about the Trojan horse. Like dude you know it’s going to be traumatic for you why do this to yourself.

Homer does a MASSIVE self plug, saying this COOL poet is telling the Trojan war SO accurately it’s like he was THERE and Ody praises him more than ANYONE!!! It’s so blatant it’s hilarious.

So when the Bard starts singing about the Trojan horse and “dreadful violence” Ody and crew committed, and of course Odysseus just falls to the ground sobbing “as a woman weeps when she fails to wrap her arms around her husband, fallen fighting for his home and children. She watches as he gasps and dies. She shrieks, a clear high wail, collapsing on his corpse. The men are right behind. They hit her shoulder with their spears and lead her to slavery, hard labor and a life of pain”.

Some serious irony here, considering how Odysseus inflicted exactly this on countless women during the Trojan War. I think this was likely intentional. Homer’s a smart guy, so I think it was his aim to have Odysseus relive the pain of his many victims, as he recalls the violence he wrought. Especially since he confirms that he helped with the abduction and rape of Trojan women a few lines later.

Which, as an aside, I don’t know why people are so focused on whether Odysseus cheated on Penelope with Circe when he did something way more horrible than cheat on Penelope---he assisted in the abduction and rape of other women, and probably even participated (I think if he didn’t, the Iliad would have noted that, since it was common practice so him refusing would have been notable)! I’d be much more horrified to find my husband did than him knocking boots with a goddess. But the thing is, Penelope probably knew he’d be doing that. It was an expected wartime practice. I saw a post that “if you believe Odysseus slept with Circe you believe all men want sex all the time" and I want to be like…okay I obviously don’t believe that about men, but I can acknowledge that’s what the Ancient Greeks largely believed which greatly changes the intention of the text. Men were expected to take “war prizes” or in Sparta’s case, sleep with younger men, because there was this idea that men needed a way to fulfill their sexual appetites while separated from their wives. The war prize practice was wrong then and it’s wrong now, but when interrogating a text like this you have acknowledge the environment it was created in, what cultural values shaped it, and that there’s no way Odysseus can come out as a “good person” or “good husband” from our perspective. You can’t turn away from the practices he engaged in, you can’t wash away the terrible things he did.

Anyway. Back on topic. The king notices Odysseus is crying again and is like “whoa stop playing that song!!! this party is clearly not fun for all!”

And then he uh, quizzes Ody about his PTSD. Seems kind of rude but okay! As a result, Odysseus finally reveals his name and sits down to tell his cool story.

(as an aside Ody mentions using a knot he learned from Circe. Apparently tying knots are among Circe’s talents???)

Then we get to what I think is the most interesting thing I’ve discovered this reading this, something we never went over in high school and college. Which is that, for the portion of the story he tells, the text seems to really indicate that Odysseus is an unreliable narrator. It’s pounded in your head what a great liar he is right before he tells his story.  In face, the very last line before be begins his tales is “Wily Odysseus, lord of lies, answered”. That really seems to imply to me that parts of this story might be fabricated, possibly tailored to make him look better because he wants these people to like him and help him get home. And that’s interesting, thinking what may be a lie! Obviously all the parts with Calypso that happened before this are true, as they’re not part of the telling. And some broad facts like Ody angered the cyclops, angered Poseidon, is true as gods and other comment on it.

But what about the details? Was Odysseus as faultless as he makes himself appear, and were his men as stupid as he has them appear? I think it’s incredibly likely he might have been more to blame for some of the deaths than he lets on. Did he even beat Circe in a fight? Did he even sleep with her? And if he did, what if Hermes ordering it was something he made up? And what if there are details he deliberately leaves out, or even more painful things he doesn’t mention?

It's tantalizing to think about, and it’s weird I’ve never heard of that aspect before this.

But now we've finally gotten to the parts everyone remembers about the Odyssey. As such, I think I'll go at a much quicker pace, since anyone who's has it assigned in high school knows the basics, I'll just be commenting on weird little details. Til next time!