Some notes on Love and Lilies (Patreon)

I haven't really written as many short stories as I should, so I'm trying to fix that lately. The girl I recently made friends with/am tentatively dating is an awesome writer and she wanted to read some of mine but I...didn't have any short work of mine I liked. So when I did that whole magical girl writing prompt jam, I decided to try out an idea. It's very hard for me to get in the right mindset to write these days, but doing the story from the point of view of a mini-boss helped.

You can probably tell rather than just "dark", the story is tongue-in-cheek as well. It kinda had to be that way considering the POV character. It wasn't meant to be so much a satire as being self-aware, but it's kind of on the line. 

I think when the story really became fun for me was when I decided the magical girl's attack will be named after different types of lilies. Once I looked up and saw how many different ridiculous names lilies had, I was able to just make ridiculous attacks- as long as they were based on a lily name, I could do it! 

I wonder if I verged into torture porn territory with how detailed and gory it got, but I found it interesting to think of the grotesque ways magical girl attacks or plant based attacks could be applied if used without restraint. I guess that's a questionable side I have.

There was an EXTREMELY slight alternate ending before I did the final draft. It went like this-

As the light enveloped me, I thought out the way the Empress had once said my name. The melody of it soothed me even as all life left my body.

Good night, Calla.

So basically, I just revealed what the main character's real name is. Which is boring, since it's not really significant- it's a poisonous type of lily, but that's the only connection I could think to make. What does that even say about her? That she's got similarities to Lily? Duh. So I'm glad I came up with a better one- we don't need to know a real name, and her last line being bitter and sarcastic works for her character and feels more final as an ending, I think.

Btw, since I like name meanings, Narkissa means "numbness, sleep" which works well as the codename for someone who sucks away people's energy, and also, like, dies. 

I'd be interested in returning to this universe again, to show Lily's girlfriend and other allies confronting her. I think my next magical girl story will be a more lighthearted one- I really like the one about the monster of the week becoming a magical girl that was suggested during the prompt jam. That'd be cute.

Anyway, I welcome any feedback!