'In the Way of All Flesh' Deleted Scenes: The Original Opening (Patreon)

Yeah baby, my book's coming out September 1st, time for me to start posting bonus features! (I'll let you all know when you can pre-order it, sorry it's taking so long)

Time for some BEHIND THE SCENES FEATURES!

This is the original opening scene for the story, which shows the first ever conversation between my main characters, Stephanie and Manee. I cut it on  the advice of an editor so we could get to to the meat of the story quicker. It still happened within the world of my book though- Manee and Stephanie refer back to the scene a couple times. It's just smoother to go into a place where they can launch right into their conflict. I think it's a fun scene- I got laughs when I read it for my grad school thesis reading thing (this book WAS my grad school thesis).

This is in third person, past tense, like the whole book originally was. But I've changed the book to first person present since then, which works a lot better for it imo.  Anyway, hope you enjoy and it gets you excited for what's to come!

Chapter One

She wished the girl would stop staring at her. It was unsettling, the way those sharp brown eyes seemed to gaze right through Manee.

Manee had first noticed the girl looking at her a few days into class. She’d assumed that she’d just been fascinated by Manee’s odd manner of dress. Most kids got bored staring at her after a while and stopped. Except for Stephanie Pierce.

Her staring made Manee sweat, which was bad, because she was already hot to begin with. Despite the 90 degree weather, she wore a long-sleeved hooded sweatshirt, baggy sweatpants, and gloves as she stood hunched on the other side of the pile of mulch they called a playground. Her face was dripping with perspiration and her hair stuck to her cheeks. She winced every time she moved her hand and sweat dribbled down into the spaces between her fingers. Her gloves were soaked, and so was her shirt. Normally at this point she’d make sure nobody was approaching and take the gloves off, letting her hands air out a bit. But she couldn’t right now. Not while she was being watched.

Manee pulled up the hood of her sweatshirt and tightened the drawstrings, making it scrunch into a little circle that her face was just barely visible through. It definitely didn’t make her any cooler and she looked like Kenny from South Park, but at least she also felt a little shielded from Stephanie’s gaze.

She needed a place to hide, a place that might also offer some shade. Like the empty, rusty slide a few feet away. Manee scrambled toward it on all fours, feeling like an ungainly turtle. She dived into the shadow of the slide with the urgency of a person diving into a bomb shelter to escape an atomic war. 

She was instantly a little cooler without the sun beating down on her directly. Looking to the side, Manee saw with satisfaction that she couldn’t see Stephanie properly from this far away. The other girls were blocking her. Perhaps Stephanie couldn’t see her now either. She sighed in relief and pulled her gloves off, putting them in a wet pile by her side and wiping her hands on her pants. Then she ripped off her hood and shoved the sleeves of her shirt up just a little.

It was oddly soothing, lying in her own sweat in this abandoned corner of the playground. She felt completely cut off from the rest of the world. She closed her eyes and imagined that if she concentrated long enough, she could merge with the shadows and nobody would look at her ever again.

“You really should run.”

Manee’s eyes snapped open, and for a second she was confused about where she was and who was talking. But then she felt the mulch in her hair and saw the sloping expanse of metal above her. She looked to the side and her insides lurched when she saw puffy pink sneakers staring her in the face. She jolted upright, nearly hitting her head on the slide, scrambling to pull on her gloves. 

Stephanie tapped her foot impatiently. “Class is starting. Charlotte’s gonna be pissed. If we run for it right now, we might make it. Hey, are you listening?” She kicked at the edge of the slide. Manee was caught in a metal earthquake. She tried to scramble away but in the process really did hit her head on the shaking slide. She rolled out into the open, massaging her scalp and swearing to herself.

“There!” Stephanie said. She loomed over Manee, examining her with an air of triumph, like she had uncovered some strange new specimen native only to the forgotten corners of school playgrounds. 

The playground was completely empty except for the two of them. Manee struggled for something to say, anything to get this girl to leave.

“You….leave me alone,” was what ended up coming out of her mouth. 

Stephanie raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “So you wanted to just sleep under the slide all day and be counted absent?”

“Maybe I did!” 

Stephanie laughed and tossed her hair. Her hair was almost hypnotizing in how ridiculous it was, her head was dominated by a mass of dark curls, the whole thing woefully tangled in a way that still managed to look gorgeous. Like it was all specifically coordinated by some fashion god to make her brown skin look extra warm and luscious. As if her full lips and high cheekbones weren’t enough to pretty her up. Manee narrowed her eyes at this hair like it was a separate entity of its own; a monster carefully designed to defeat her. 

“There are better ways to skip school. You’ll definitely get caught doing it this way,” Stephanie said with a grin.

“It’s not your business,” Manee struggled to her feet.

“Why are you so grumpy?” Stephanie asked her, having the audacity to look wounded.

“Because!” she grumbled, pulling her hoodie up again, hoping to both shield herself and hide the embarrassed flush in her cheeks. “You keep staring at me! It’s really…” Freaking me out is what she wanted to say, but she settled on “…annoying.”

“Well, I think there are better ways to skip school. You’ll definitely get caught doing it this way,” Stephanie said with a grin.

“Sorry,” Stephanie said with an unconcerned shrug. “It’s just, the kids in class act like you’re weird and dangerous because of your … heavy clothing and general standoffishness. I guess.”

Don’t try to spare my feelings or anything, just lay it all out there.  Manee grudgingly met Stephanie’s gaze, wanting to blast her with an icy glare. However, she was slightly surprised to see Stephanie’s eyes were a lot like hers, the same general shape and color anyway. It was weird seeing anything reminiscent of her own features on such a pretty person. It was like the world saw fit to inform her ‘Hey, your individual features aren’t heinous, it’s just the composition that’s a mess’.

She shook it off and tried the challenging glare again, matching it with an equally challenging question. “Shouldn’t you try and stay away from me then?”

Stephanie’s face stretched into a grin that was almost feral. “What can I say? I’m into danger.”

Manee wasn’t sure whether she was amused that this girl was acting like she wanted to audition for the role “punk rocker girl sure to meet a tragic end” in a cheesy teen movie or if she was simply unnerved, but her gaze was really drilling into her skull now and she desperately wanted to break eye contact.

“The kids in class say you’ve got some sort of weird skin disease,” Stephanie continued. “That’s why you wear the long sleeves and stuff.”

“So?” Manee said, tugging on said sleeves a little nervously.

“Would you show me?” Stephanie said, tilting her head so her hair fell delicately across her face, eyes shimmering. She just needed a halo to complete the image.

Manee sighed. So she was a freak show now. “No,” she snapped. “You know why? Because it’s not a skin disease. It’s a curse. And if you stick around me, you’ll be cursed too.” 

The girl’s eyes went round and she just blinked at her. Satisfied, Manee prepared to sidestep her, but then… “That’s amazing.” Stephanie grabbed Manee’s gloved hands. Manee stumbled back against the slide. “I’ve always wanted to know what being cursed is like.”

After that there was no getting rid of her. Stephanie followed her back into the classroom, past the rusted-out swings and into the parking lot, where they faced the brown brick building and entered one of the tiny classrooms that that seemed reminiscent of cubicles. Though Morana Community Charter School was nothing more than a remodeled office park and the amount of effort the teachers put into their jobs was as low as the school’s budget, it was still a big deal if a student came in late to class. Stephanie had to endure the teacher’s scolding along with Manee, but endured it happily, with a grin that seemed like it was ironed on her face. By the next day, she had somehow managed to switch seats with the boy who sat behind Manee. She felt dizzy at all the attention. No one had ever taken such an interest in her before and this was all just extreme by any standard.

---

And scene! You'll have to get the book to find out what happens after this.

Manee's school is based on the place I went to for elementary and middle, which was in an office park until we finally moved when I was in seventh grade. Though this is a significantly worse school than my real life one in several ways. My editor said it was confusing they called their teacher's by their first names, but that's what we did!