The Villain's Journey: Opening Scene (Patreon)

I decided to use my own opening scene from my current novel as an example for an optional supplemental lesson. Sneak preview!

In the online class, I attached it to the lesson as a word doc, but here, I'll post it separately. It's only the second draft, so please cut me some slack!

The Villain’s Journey First Scene

Caitlin Donovan

The little turtle wobbled ominously on his back, his stumpy legs waving desperately in the air. He was seriously close to falling off the edge of the roof and becoming turtle soup on the concrete thirty feet below. I let out a strangled groan as I dragged my fingers down my face. Why? Why did this always happen?

Archie the box turtle could only fly for a short time, about two minutes per day, and he had very little control when it came to landing. He would float around for a while, suddenly run out of juice, and fall down. I’d known all that when I took him out of his little terrarium to clean it. But he’s a turtle, right? They’re famously slow! I figured I’d pluck him out of the air easily if he decided to do a little levitating, just like Mom always did.

Once again, I had utterly underestimated my own ineptitude. Archie had rocketed straight out of my arms and through an open window. I’d tripped and fallen flat on my face trying to chase after him. By the time I’d gotten outside, he’d already made his crash landing. Now he lay upside down and forlorn on the tile roof of our animal shelter. It was the most pitiful goddamn sight I’d ever seen and it was 100% my fault.

Yet another reminder someone like me had no business handling super-powered animals. This was my fifth mishap this month and September was far from over. But her 22-year-old fuck-up daughter was the only help my mom had when it came to running her broken-down shelter. And if I didn’t get this shitshow under control quick, she was going to kill me.

Well, probably not kill me. She’d give me that tired, empty look, which was a hundred times worse. Sweat ran down my face at the thought. I ran my fingers through my hair.

I heard some a chorus of laughter behind me and turned my head. Ugh, Alec and his little gang of twelve-year-old delinquents had arrived. They were crowded on the sidewalk behind me, smirking and holding skateboards. Just my luck for this to happen when school’s letting out and all the kids were on their way home from the bus stop down the street.

“Amazing.” Alec was practically doubled over in mirth. “How does she always screw up like this? Stupid Sam’s a turtle murderer now! God, It’s gonna fall and explode everywhere!

“Just go home, Alec. Don’t you have some ants to fry with a magnifying glass?” I snapped.

“I don’t wanna miss you crying when turtle guts splatter all over you!” Alec pulled a stupid face. imitating my imminent wailing. His friend Matt joined in, doubling the obnoxious effect.

Fuck this. I couldn’t just stand here waiting for Archie to fall to his doom while a bunch of demon children mocked me. I eyed the two-story brick building critically. One story was the animal shelter, and the second story was where Mom and I lived. Archie was actually wobbling on the slight slope in the tile roof right above my bedroom window. And several feet away from that window, there was a big old tree with long, spreading branches.

I gritted my teeth and matched over to the tree. Ignoring the hoots and hollers of the kids behind me, I yanked a scrunchie from my wrist and tied my long, black wavy hair back, Then I braced a sneakered foot against the trunk. I ignored my heart banging in my ears. Sure, it looked terrifyingly tall, but so what? I’d scaled this thing all the time when I was kid. This would be a piece of cake.

As I grabbed the lowest branch and pulled myself up, I realized immediately this would not, in fact, be a piece of cake. It had been about ten years since I’d last tried this. My arms shook from the strain and the branch creaked ominously under my weight. But there were five preteens watching and judging me, so no way could I give up now.

As I awkwardly shimmied my way up the tree and scrabbled at branches with trembling hands, I let the kids’ mocking calls of “Stupid Sam’s gonna die with her turtle!” fuel my determination. I would show them what an adult could do. But then one angry voice broke through the rest and broke my concentration

“Sam! What the hell are you doing?”

I looked down from my precarious perch and saw a thirteen-year-old with auburn hair standing in front of the other kids. Her hands were on her hips but her eyes were clouded with worry. It was Kelsey, my best friend Alyssa’s little sister. I had watched over her a lot at Alyssa’s place over the past five years, so she was well acquainted with my disaster-prone nature. To be honest, she was the one who ended up babysitting me half the time.

“It’s okay, Kelsey, I got this!” I called down to her. But then I looked out and the space between the tree and the roof suddenly became a vast, uncrossable gulf. I swallowed, my hand shaking as I reached for the little reptile, whose stubby legs were still pinwheeling desperately in the air. I met Archie’s beady upside-down eyes and he seemed to say “No, Sam, you don’t got this.”

God. I was going to have to climb back down in shame and call for someone with a ladder or whatever. Another depressing defeat on Samata Chandy’s infinite list. I could already hear the chorus of mockery and on top of that, see the frustration on Kelsey’s face. It was too much to bear.

Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw a streak in the sky. I grinned.

The perfect opportunity had presented itself.

I hurtled myself forward, grasping at the air. I tried my damndest to reach that roof, I really did. But as expected, I fell short, my fingers missing it by a few inches. And then all of me fell.

Kelsey screamed, the other kids yelled, air rushed past me in a dizzying flash and then suddenly, I was floating. A powerful wind lifted me and carried me into strong arms. I looked up to see her- her ponytail waving like a flickering flame, her twinkling eyes behind green aviator’s goggles, her adorably crooked nose dusted with freckles, her soft, pink smile. I sighed happily, a heady heat flowing through me. “Whirlwind.”

“Ms. Chandy,” she replied. She sounded a bit exasperated, but I always enjoyed hearing her say my name so formally. It gave me the shivers in a good way.

She bought us down. I could tell she was trying to be gentle, but she was a little bumpy on the landing, jostling me painfully as she hit the pavement with a thud. I didn’t mind, though. It gave me an excellent reason to cling to her very tightly.

I was enjoying snuggling into her chest when she cleared her throat awkwardly. “Ms. Chandy. You can let me go now.”

“Oh yeah, right.” I flushed a little, loosening my hold. She placed me gently on the pavement. Kelsey’s hands, which has been raised in alarm, fell to her side and she shook her head wearily. Alec and his bunch finally quieted down a little at least, looking at our small town’s only superhero enviously. She shot us all a radiant smile.

Whirlwind shot up to grab Archie. The wind that spiraled out in the wake of her take-off smacked me right in the face, nearly knocking me over, but I didn’t mind one bit. It was a treat just to watch her. She really was the image of a hero, black scarf fluttering like a cape, her green jacket outlining her muscular arms nicely, and, god, the way those tight leggings hugged her ass…I was so transported by the sight I didn’t notice Kelsey was trying to get my attention until she kicked me.

“Sam! You need to quit doing crap like this!” Kelsey hissed. “You can’t count on Whirlwind to keeping saving you!”

Before I could reply, Matt snorted, “C’mon, like Stupid Sam’s ever going to stop screwing up. Besides, it’s not like Whirlwind’s got anything better to do!”

“Yeah, if she didn’t have Stupid Sam to save, Whirlwind would be some forgotten loser, just like Sylph!” Alec guffawed.

“Shut up!” I said sharply, but it was too late. Whirlwind descended beside me a second later, box turtle in hand. One look at her face told me she’d heard what they said.

Her eyes flicked to Kelsey, clearly hoping for some sort of defense, some words of support. But instead, Kelsey turned away from her, face burning red. “Maybe you should find something better to do than play these dumb games. This is the third time this month. You’re like, enabling Sam, at this point,” She mumbled. “It’s getting embarrassing, okay?”

With that, she stomped down the street, her head bowed and her fists clenched. “Kelsey, wait!” I called after her, but she didn’t turn back. Alec and Matt, at least, looked a little chagrined. They mumbled something vague about getting home and shuffled away with rest of their little gang.

Whirlwind’s confident smile was frozen on her face, to the point it looked more like a rictus grin now. I noticed a slight slump in her shoulders as she handed over the turtle.

“Typical kids being kids, right?” I said hastily “They gotta make fun of everything. I think Kelsey has just looking for the opportunity to use ‘enable’ since she learned it for her last vocab test! I was just quizzing her on it, so I wouldn’t take it too personally-”

“Is it the truth?” Whirlwind asked. She tried to keep her voice even, but it cracked slightly. “Do you fall all the time on purpose because you feel sorry for me? Just to give me something to do?”

“N-no! Of course not! I just really think you’re cool, so I-!”

I stopped short, realizing I’d basically just blurted out that I was doing it on purpose. I tried to cover, babbling on about how clumsy I was, but she wasn’t listening. She was already floating away, face tilted upward to hide her expression. But she couldn’t hide the way her hands were shaking.

“Whirlwind!” I screamed. “Please come back! I want to thank you for saving Archie!”

She just rose higher and higher.

“Alys-”

I almost called out her real name but stopped myself just in time. Someone might overhear. And she still didn’t know I knew.

It was no surprise she was upset. I’d been best friends with Alyssa for seven years; I knew better than anyone else what she’d been through and exactly why this kind of crap hurt so much. Those dumb kids even had the audacity to mention to Sylph! And on top of all that, her own sister had dissed her. Why couldn’t Kelsey understand that Alyssa just wanted to make her proud?

But it wasn’t Kelsey, or even those horrible little boys, who were the most at fault here. It was me.

As usual, I’d made a big mess of everything.

“Stupid Sam,” I muttered to myself as I trudged back into the shelter, cradling a squirming turtle to my chest